Jonathan Swift. Gulliver's travels into several remote nations of the world
  
  
  
  
THE PUBLISHER TO THE READER.
  
  [As given in the original edition.]
  The author of these Travels, Mr. Lemuel Gulliver, is my ancient
  and intimate friend; there is likewise some relation between us on
  the mother's side. About three years ago, Mr. Gulliver growing
  weary of the concourse of curious people coming to him at his
  house in Redriff, made a small purchase of land, with a
  convenient house, near Newark, in Nottinghamshire, his native
  country; where he now lives retired, yet in good esteem among his
  neighbours.
  Although Mr. Gulliver was born in Nottinghamshire, where his
  father dwelt, yet I have heard him say his family came from
  Oxfordshire; to confirm which, I have observed in the churchyard
  at Banbury in that county, several tombs and monuments of the
  Gullivers.
  Before he quitted Redriff, he left the custody of the following
  papers in my hands, with the liberty to dispose of them as I should
  think fit. I have carefully perused them three times. The style is
  very plain and simple; and the only fault I find is, that the author,
  after the manner of travellers, is a little too circumstantial. There
  is an air of truth apparent through the whole; and indeed the
  author was so distinguished for his veracity, that it became a sort.
  of proverb among his neighbours at Redriff, when any one
  affirmed a thing, to say, it was as true as if Mr. Gulliver had
  spoken it.
  By the advice of several worthy persons, to whom, with the
  author's permission, I communicated these papers, I now venture
  to send them into the world, hoping they may be, at least for some
  time, a better entertainment to our young noblemen, than the
  common scribbles of politics and party.
  This volume would have been at least twice as large, if I had not
  made bold to strike out innumerable passages relating to the
  winds and tides, as well as to the variations and bearings in the
  several voyages, together with the minute descriptions of the
  management of the ship in storms, in the style of sailors; likewise
  the account of longitudes and latitudes; wherein I have reason to
  apprehend, that Mr. Gulliver may be a little dissatisfied. But I was
  resolved to fit the work as much as possible to the general
  capacity of readers. However, if my own ignorance in sea affairs
  shall have led me to commit some mistakes, I alone am
  answerable for them. And if any traveller hath a curiosity to see
  the whole work at large, as it came from the hands of the author, I
  will be ready to gratify him.
  As for any further particulars relating to the author, the reader will
  receive satisfaction from the first pages of the book.
                         RICHARD SYMPSON
  
  
A LETTER FROM CAPTAIN GULLIVER TO HIS COUSIN SYMPSON. WRITTEN IN THE YEAR 1727.
  
  I hope you will be ready to own publicly, whenever you shall be
  called to it, that by your great and frequent urgency you prevailed
  on me to publish a very loose and uncorrect account of my travels,
  with directions to hire some young gentleman of either university
  to put them in order, and correct the style, as my cousin Dampier
  did, by my advice, in his book called "A Voyage round the world."
  But I do not remember I gave you power to consent that any thing
  should be omitted, and much less that any thing should be
  inserted; therefore, as to the latter, I do here renounce every thing
  of that kind; particularly a paragraph about her majesty Queen
  Anne, of most pious and glorious memory; although I did
  reverence and esteem her more than any of human species. But
  you, or your interpolator, ought to have considered, that it was not
  my inclination, so was it not decent to praise any animal of our
  composition before my master HOUYHNHNM: And besides, the
  fact was altogether false; for to my knowledge, being in England
  during some part of her majesty's reign, she did govern by a chief
  minister; nay even by two successively, the first whereof was the
  lord of Godolphin, and the second the lord of Oxford; so that you
  have made me say the thing that was not. Likewise in the account
  of the academy of projectors, and several passages of my.
  discourse to my master HOUYHNHNM, you have either omitted
  some material circumstances, or minced or changed them in such
  a manner, that I do hardly know my own work. When I formerly
  hinted to you something of this in a letter, you were pleased to
  answer that you were afraid of giving offence; that people in
  power were very watchful over the press, and apt not only to
  interpret, but to punish every thing which looked like an
  INNUENDO (as I think you call it). But, pray how could that
  which I spoke so many years ago, and at about five thousand
  leagues distance, in another reign, be applied to any of the
  YAHOOS, who now are said to govern the herd; especially at a
  time when I little thought, or feared, the unhappiness of living
  under them? Have not I the most reason to complain, when I see
  these very YAHOOS carried by HOUYHNHNMS in a vehicle, as
  if they were brutes, and those the rational creatures? And indeed
  to avoid so monstrous and detestable a sight was one principal
  motive of my retirement hither.
  Thus much I thought proper to tell you in relation to yourself, and
  to the trust I reposed in you.
  I do, in the next place, complain of my own great want of
  judgment, in being prevailed upon by the entreaties and false
  reasoning of you and some others, very much against my own
  opinion, to suffer my travels to be published. Pray bring to your
  mind how often I desired you to consider, when you insisted on
  the motive of public good, that the YAHOOS were a species of
  animals utterly incapable of amendment by precept or example:
  and so it has proved; for, instead of seeing a full stop put to all.
  abuses and corruptions, at least in this little island, as I had reason
  to expect; behold, after above six months warning, I cannot learn
  that my book has produced one single effect according to my
  intentions. I desired you would let me know, by a letter, when
  party and faction were extinguished; judges learned and upright;
  pleaders honest and modest, with some tincture of common sense,
  and Smithfield blazing with pyramids of law books; the young
  nobility's education entirely changed; the physicians banished; the
  female YAHOOS abounding in virtue, honour, truth, and good
  sense; courts and levees of great ministers thoroughly weeded and
  swept; wit, merit, and learning rewarded; all disgracers of the
  press in prose and verse condemned to eat nothing but their own
  cotton, and quench their thirst with their own ink. These, and a
  thousand other reformations, I firmly counted upon by your
  encouragement; as indeed they were plainly deducible from the
  precepts delivered in my book. And it must be owned, that seven
  months were a sufficient time to correct every vice and folly to
  which YAHOOS are subject, if their natures had been capable of
  the least disposition to virtue or wisdom. Yet, so far have you been
  from answering my expectation in any of your letters; that on the
  contrary you are loading our carrier every week with libels, and
  keys, and reflections, and memoirs, and second parts; wherein I
  see myself accused of reflecting upon great state folk; of
  degrading human nature (for so they have still the confidence to
  style it), and of abusing the female sex. I find likewise that the
  writers of those bundles are not agreed among themselves; for
  some of them will not allow me to be the author of my own
  travels; and others make me author of books to which I am wholly
  a stranger..
  I find likewise that your printer has been so careless as to
  confound the times, and mistake the dates, of my several voyages
  and returns; neither assigning the true year, nor the true month,
  nor day of the month: and I hear the original manuscript is all
  destroyed since the publication of my book; neither have I any
  copy left: however, I have sent you some corrections, which you
  may insert, if ever there should be a second edition: and yet I
  cannot stand to them; but shall leave that matter to my judicious
  and candid readers to adjust it as they please.
  I hear some of our sea YAHOOS find fault with my sea-language,
  as not proper in many parts, nor now in use. I cannot help it. In my
  first voyages, while I was young, I was instructed by the oldest
  mariners, and learned to speak as they did. But I have since found
  that the sea YAHOOS are apt, like the land ones, to become new-fangled
  in their words, which the latter change every year;
  insomuch, as I remember upon each return to my own country
  their old dialect was so altered, that I could hardly understand the
  new. And I observe, when any YAHOO comes from London out
  of curiosity to visit me at my house, we neither of us are able to
  deliver our conceptions in a manner intelligible to the other.
  If the censure of the YAHOOS could any way affect me, I should
  have great reason to complain, that some of them are so bold as to
  think my book of travels a mere fiction out of mine own brain, and
  have gone so far as to drop hints, that the HOUYHNHNMS and
  YAHOOS have no more existence than the inhabitants of Utopia..
  Indeed I must confess, that as to the people of LILLIPUT,
  BROBDINGRAG (for so the word should have been spelt, and
  not erroneously BROBDINGNAG), and LAPUTA, I have never
  yet heard of any YAHOO so presumptuous as to dispute their
  being, or the facts I have related concerning them; because the
  truth immediately strikes every reader with conviction. And is
  there less probability in my account of the HOUYHNHNMS or
  YAHOOS, when it is manifest as to the latter, there are so many
  thousands even in this country, who only differ from their brother
  brutes in HOUYHNHNMLAND, because they use a sort of
  jabber, and do not go naked? I wrote for their amendment, and not
  their approbation. The united praise of the whole race would be
  of less consequence to me, than the neighing of those two
  degenerate HOUYHNHNMS I keep in my stable; because from
  these, degenerate as they are, I still improve in some virtues
  without any mixture of vice.
  Do these miserable animals presume to think, that I am so
  degenerated as to defend my veracity? YAHOO as I am, it is well
  known through all HOUYHNHNMLAND, that, by the
  instructions and example of my illustrious master, I was able in
  the compass of two years (although I confess with the utmost
  difficulty) to remove that infernal habit of lying, shuffling,
  deceiving, and equivocating, so deeply rooted in the very souls of
  all my species; especially the Europeans.
  I have other complaints to make upon this vexatious occasion; but
  I forbear troubling myself or you any further. I must freely
  confess, that since my last return, some corruptions of my.
  YAHOO nature have revived in me by conversing with a few of
  your species, and particularly those of my own family, by an
  unavoidable necessity; else I should never have attempted so
  absurd a project as that of reforming the YAHOO race in this
  kingdom: But I have now done with all such visionary schemes
  for ever.
                    APRIL 2, 1727.
  
  
 * PART I. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT * 
  
  
CHAPTER I.
  
  [The author gives some account of himself and family. His first
  inducements to travel. He is shipwrecked, and swims for his life.
  Gets safe on shore in the country of Lilliput; is made a prisoner,
  and carried up the country.]
  My father had a small estate in Nottinghamshire: I was the third of
  five sons. He sent me to Emanuel College in Cambridge at
  fourteen years old, where I resided three years, and applied myself
  close to my studies; but the charge of maintaining me, although I
  had a very scanty allowance, being too great for a narrow fortune,
  I was bound apprentice to Mr. James Bates, an eminent surgeon in
  London, with whom I continued four years. My father now and
  then sending me small sums of money, I laid them out in learning
  navigation, and other parts of the mathematics, useful to those
  who intend to travel, as I always believed it would be, some time
  or other, my fortune to do. When I left Mr. Bates, I went down to
  my father: where, by the assistance of him and my uncle John, and
  some other relations, I got forty pounds, and a promise of thirty
  pounds a year to maintain me at Leyden: there I studied physic
  two years and seven months, knowing it would be useful in long
  voyages..
  Soon after my return from Leyden, I was recommended by my
  good master, Mr. Bates, to be surgeon to the Swallow, Captain
  Abraham Pannel, commander; with whom I continued three years
  and a half, making a voyage or two into the Levant, and some
  other parts. When I came back I resolved to settle in London; to
  which Mr. Bates, my master, encouraged me, and by him I was
  recommended to several patients. I took part of a small house in
  the Old Jewry; and being advised to alter my condition, I married
  Mrs. Mary Burton, second daughter to Mr. Edmund Burton,
  hosier, in Newgate-street, with whom I received four hundred
  pounds for a portion.
  But my good master Bates dying in two years after, and I having
  few friends, my business began to fail; for my conscience would
  not suffer me to imitate the bad practice of too many among my
  brethren. Having therefore consulted with my wife, and some of
  my acquaintance, I determined to go again to sea. I was surgeon
  successively in two ships, and made several voyages, for six
  years, to the East and West Indies, by which I got some addition to
  my fortune. My hours of leisure I spent in reading the best
  authors, ancient and modern, being always provided with a good
  number of books; and when I was ashore, in observing the
  manners and dispositions of the people, as well as learning their
  language; wherein I had a great facility, by the strength of my
  memory.
  The last of these voyages not proving very fortunate, I grew weary
  of the sea, and intended to stay at home with my wife and family.
  I removed from the Old Jewry to Fetter Lane, and from thence to.
  Wapping, hoping to get business among the sailors; but it would
  not turn to account. After three years expectation that things
  would mend, I accepted an advantageous offer from Captain
  William Prichard, master of the Antelope, who was making a
  voyage to the South Sea. We set sail from Bristol, May 4, 1699,
  and our voyage was at first very prosperous.
  It would not be proper, for some reasons, to trouble the reader
  with the particulars of our adventures in those seas; let it suffice to
  inform him, that in our passage from thence to the East Indies, we
  were driven by a violent storm to the north-west of Van Diemen's
  Land. By an observation, we found ourselves in the latitude of 30
  degrees 2 minutes south. Twelve of our crew were dead by
  immoderate labour and ill food; the rest were in a very weak
  condition. On the 5th of November, which was the beginning of
  summer in those parts, the weather being very hazy, the seamen
  spied a rock within half a cable's length of the ship; but the wind
  was so strong, that we were driven directly upon it, and
  immediately split. Six of the crew, of whom I was one, having let
  down the boat into the sea, made a shift to get clear of the ship and
  the rock. We rowed, by my computation, about three leagues, till
  we were able to work no longer, being already spent with labour
  while we were in the ship. We therefore trusted ourselves to the
  mercy of the waves, and in about half an hour the boat was overset
  by a sudden flurry from the north. What became of my
  companions in the boat, as well as of those who escaped on the
  rock, or were left in the vessel, I cannot tell; but conclude they
  were all lost. For my own part, I swam as fortune directed me, and
  was pushed forward by wind and tide. I often let my legs drop,.
  and could feel no bottom; but when I was almost gone, and able to
  struggle no longer, I found myself within my depth; and by this
  time the storm was much abated. The declivity was so small, that I
  walked near a mile before I got to the shore, which I conjectured
  was about eight o'clock in the evening. I then advanced forward
  near half a mile, but could not discover any sign of houses or
  inhabitants; at least I was in so weak a condition, that I did not
  observe them. I was extremely tired, and with that, and the heat of
  the weather, and about half a pint of brandy that I drank as I left
  the ship, I found myself much inclined to sleep. I lay down on the
  grass, which was very short and soft, where I slept sounder than
  ever I remembered to have done in my life, and, as I reckoned,
  about nine hours; for when I awaked, it was just day-light. I
  attempted to rise, but was not able to stir: for, as I happened to lie
  on my back, I found my arms and legs were strongly fastened on
  each side to the ground; and my hair, which was long and thick,
  tied down in the same manner. I likewise felt several slender
  ligatures across my body, from my arm-pits to my thighs. I could
  only look upwards; the sun began to grow hot, and the light
  offended my eyes. I heard a confused noise about me; but in the
  posture I lay, could see nothing except the sky. In a little time I felt
  something alive moving on my left leg, which advancing gently
  forward over my breast, came almost up to my chin; when,
  bending my eyes downwards as much as I could, I perceived it to
  be a human creature not six inches high, with a bow and arrow in
  his hands, and a quiver at his back. In the mean time, I felt at least
  forty more of the same kind (as I conjectured) following the first. I
  was in the utmost astonishment, and roared so loud, that they all
  ran back in a fright; and some of them, as I was afterwards told,.
  were hurt with the falls they got by leaping from my sides upon
  the ground. However, they soon returned, and one of them, who
  ventured so far as to get a full sight of my face, lifting up his
  hands and eyes by way of admiration, cried out in a shrill but
  distinct voice, HEKINAH DEGUL: the others repeated the same
  words several times, but then I knew not what they meant. I lay all
  this while, as the reader may believe, in great uneasiness. At
  length, struggling to get loose, I had the fortune to break the
  strings, and wrench out the pegs that fastened my left arm to the
  ground; for, by lifting it up to my face, I discovered the methods
  they had taken to bind me, and at the same time with a violent
  pull, which gave me excessive pain, I a little loosened the strings
  that tied down my hair on the left side, so that I was just able to
  turn my head about two inches. But the creatures ran off a second
  time, before I could seize them; whereupon there was a great
  shout in a very shrill accent, and after it ceased I heard one of
  them cry aloud TOLGO PHONAC; when in an instant I felt above
  a hundred arrows discharged on my left hand, which, pricked me
  like so many needles; and besides, they shot another flight into the
  air, as we do bombs in Europe, whereof many, I suppose, fell on
  my body, (though I felt them not), and some on my face, which I
  immediately covered with my left hand. When this shower of
  arrows was over, I fell a groaning with grief and pain; and then
  striving again to get loose, they discharged another volley larger
  than the first, and some of them attempted with spears to stick me
  in the sides; but by good luck I had on a buff jerkin, which they
  could not pierce. I thought it the most prudent method to lie still,
  and my design was to continue so till night, when, my left hand
  being already loose, I could easily free myself: and as for the.
  inhabitants, I had reason to believe I might be a match for the
  greatest army they could bring against me, if they were all of the
  same size with him that I saw. But fortune disposed otherwise of
  me. When the people observed I was quiet, they discharged no
  more arrows; but, by the noise I heard, I knew their numbers
  increased; and about four yards from me, over against my right
  ear, I heard a knocking for above an hour, like that of people at
  work; when turning my head that way, as well as the pegs and
  strings would permit me, I saw a stage erected about a foot and a
  half from the ground, capable of holding four of the inhabitants,
  with two or three ladders to mount it: from whence one of them,
  who seemed to be a person of quality, made me a long speech,
  whereof I understood not one syllable. But I should have
  mentioned, that before the principal person began his oration, he
  cried out three times, LANGRO DEHUL SAN (these words and
  the former were afterwards repeated and explained to me);
  whereupon, immediately, about fifty of the inhabitants came and
  cut the strings that fastened the left side of my head, which gave
  me the liberty of turning it to the right, and of observing the
  person and gesture of him that was to speak.
  He appeared to be of a middle age, and taller than any of the other
  three who attended him, whereof one was a page that held up his
  train, and seemed to be somewhat longer than my middle finger;
  the other two stood one on each side to support him. He acted
  every part of an orator, and I could observe many periods of
  threatenings, and others of promises, pity, and kindness. I
  answered in a few words, but in the most submissive manner,
  lifting up my left hand, and both my eyes to the sun, as calling.
  him for a witness; and being almost famished with hunger, having
  not eaten a morsel for some hours before I left the ship, I found
  the demands of nature so strong upon me, that I could not forbear
  showing my impatience (perhaps against the strict rules of
  decency) by putting my finger frequently to my mouth, to signify
  that I wanted food. The HURGO (for so they call a great lord, as I
  afterwards learnt) understood me very well. He descended from
  the stage, and commanded that several ladders should be applied
  to my sides, on which above a hundred of the inhabitants mounted
  and walked towards my mouth, laden with baskets full of meat,
  which had been provided and sent thither by the king's orders,
  upon the first intelligence he received of me. I observed there was
  the flesh of several animals, but could not distinguish them by the
  taste. There were shoulders, legs, and loins, shaped like those of
  mutton, and very well dressed, but smaller than the wings of a
  lark. I ate them by two or three at a mouthful, and took three
  loaves at a time, about the bigness of musket bullets.
  They supplied me as fast as they could, showing a thousand marks
  of wonder and astonishment at my bulk and appetite. I then made
  another sign, that I wanted drink. They found by my eating that a
  small quantity would not suffice me; and being a most ingenious
  people, they slung up, with great dexterity, one of their largest
  hogsheads, then rolled it towards my hand, and beat out the top; I
  drank it off at a draught, which I might well do, for it did not hold
  half a pint, and tasted like a small wine of Burgundy, but much
  more delicious. They brought me a second hogshead, which I
  drank in the same manner, and made signs for more; but they had
  none to give me. When I had performed these wonders, they.
  shouted for joy, and danced upon my breast, repeating several
  times as they did at first, HEKINAH DEGUL. They made me a
  sign that I should throw down the two hogsheads, but first
  warning the people below to stand out of the way, crying aloud,
  BORACH MEVOLAH; and when they saw the vessels in the air,
  there was a universal shout of HEKINAH DEGUL. I confess I
  was often tempted, while they were passing backwards and
  forwards on my body, to seize forty or fifty of the first that came
  in my reach, and dash them against the ground. But the
  remembrance of what I had felt, which probably might not be the
  worst they could do, and the promise of honour I made them--for
  so I interpreted my submissive behaviour--soon drove out these
  imaginations. Besides, I now considered myself as bound by the
  laws of hospitality, to a people who had treated me with so much
  expense and magnificence. However, in my thoughts I could not
  sufficiently wonder at the intrepidity of these diminutive mortals,
  who durst venture to mount and walk upon my body, while one of
  my hands was at liberty, without trembling at the very sight of so
  prodigious a creature as I must appear to them. After some time,
  when they observed that I made no more demands for meat, there
  appeared before me a person of high rank from his imperial
  majesty. His excellency, having mounted on the small of my right
  leg, advanced forwards up to my face, with about a dozen of his
  retinue; and producing his credentials under the signet royal,
  which he applied close to my eyes, spoke about ten minutes
  without any signs of anger, but with a kind of determinate
  resolution, often pointing forwards, which, as I afterwards found,
  was towards the capital city, about half a mile distant; whither it
  was agreed by his majesty in council that I must be conveyed. I.
  answered in few words, but to no purpose, and made a sign with
  my hand that was loose, putting it to the other (but over his
  excellency's head for fear of hurting him or his train) and then to
  my own head and body, to signify that I desired my liberty. It
  appeared that he understood me well enough, for he shook his
  head by way of disapprobation, and held his hand in a posture to
  show that I must be carried as a prisoner. However, he made other
  signs to let me understand that I should have meat and drink
  enough, and very good treatment. Whereupon I once more
  thought of attempting to break my bonds; but again, when I felt
  the smart of their arrows upon my face and hands, which were all
  in blisters, and many of the darts still sticking in them, and
  observing likewise that the number of my enemies increased, I
  gave tokens to let them know that they might do with me what
  they pleased. Upon this, the HURGO and his train withdrew, with
  much civility and cheerful countenances. Soon after I heard a
  general shout, with frequent repetitions of the words PEPLOM
  SELAN; and I felt great numbers of people on my left side
  relaxing the cords to such a degree, that I was able to turn upon
  my right, and to ease myself with making water; which I very
  plentifully did, to the great astonishment of the people; who,
  conjecturing by my motion what I was going to do, immediately
  opened to the right and left on that side, to avoid the torrent,
  which fell with such noise and violence from me. But before this,
  they had daubed my face and both my hands with a sort of
  ointment, very pleasant to the smell, which, in a few minutes,
  removed all the smart of their arrows. These circumstances, added
  to the refreshment I had received by their victuals and drink,
  which were very nourishing, disposed me to sleep. I slept about.
  eight hours, as I was afterwards assured; and it was no wonder, for
  the physicians, by the emperor's order, had mingled a sleepy
  potion in the hogsheads of wine.
  It seems, that upon the first moment I was discovered sleeping on
  the ground, after my landing, the emperor had early notice of it by
  an express; and determined in council, that I should be tied in the
  manner I have related, (which was done in the night while I slept;)
  that plenty of meat and drink should be sent to me, and a machine
  prepared to carry me to the capital city.
  This resolution perhaps may appear very bold and dangerous, and
  I am confident would not be imitated by any prince in Europe on
  the like occasion. However, in my opinion, it was extremely
  prudent, as well as generous: for, supposing these people had
  endeavoured to kill me with their spears and arrows, while I was
  asleep, I should certainly have awaked with the first sense of
  smart, which might so far have roused my rage and strength, as to
  have enabled me to break the strings wherewith I was tied; after
  which, as they were not able to make resistance, so they could
  expect no mercy.
  These people are most excellent mathematicians, and arrived to a
  great perfection in mechanics, by the countenance and
  encouragement of the emperor, who is a renowned patron of
  learning. This prince has several machines fixed on wheels, for
  the carriage of trees and other great weights. He often builds his
  largest men of war, whereof some are nine feet long, in the woods
  where the timber grows, and has them carried on these engines.
  three or four hundred yards to the sea. Five hundred carpenters
  and engineers were immediately set at work to prepare the
  greatest engine they had. It was a frame of wood raised three
  inches from the ground, about seven feet long, and four wide,
  moving upon twenty-two wheels. The shout I heard was upon the
  arrival of this engine, which, it seems, set out in four hours after
  my landing. It was brought parallel to me, as I lay. But the
  principal difficulty was to raise and place me in this vehicle.
  Eighty poles, each of one foot high, were erected for this purpose,
  and very strong cords, of the bigness of packthread, were fastened
  by hooks to many bandages, which the workmen had girt round
  my neck, my hands, my body, and my legs. Nine hundred of the
  strongest men were employed to draw up these cords, by many
  pulleys fastened on the poles; and thus, in less than three hours, I
  was raised and slung into the engine, and there tied fast. All this I
  was told; for, while the operation was performing, I lay in a
  profound sleep, by the force of that soporiferous medicine infused
  into my liquor. Fifteen hundred of the emperor's largest horses,
  each about four inches and a half high, were employed to draw me
  towards the metropolis, which, as I said, was half a mile distant.
  About four hours after we began our journey, I awaked by a very
  ridiculous accident; for the carriage being stopped a while, to
  adjust something that was out of order, two or three of the young
  natives had the curiosity to see how I looked when I was asleep;
  they climbed up into the engine, and advancing very softly to my
  face, one of them, an officer in the guards, put the sharp end of his
  half-pike a good way up into my left nostril, which tickled my
  nose like a straw, and made me sneeze violently; whereupon they.
  stole off unperceived, and it was three weeks before I knew the
  cause of my waking so suddenly. We made a long march the
  remaining part of the day, and, rested at night with five hundred
  guards on each side of me, half with torches, and half with bows
  and arrows, ready to shoot me if I should offer to stir. The next
  morning at sunrise we continued our march, and arrived within
  two hundred yards of the city gates about noon. The emperor, and
  all his court, came out to meet us; but his great officers would by
  no means suffer his majesty to endanger his person by mounting
  on my body.
  At the place where the carriage stopped there stood an ancient
  temple, esteemed to be the largest in the whole kingdom; which,
  having been polluted some years before by an unnatural murder,
  was, according to the zeal of those people, looked upon as
  profane, and therefore had been applied to common use, and all
  the ornaments and furniture carried away. In this edifice it was
  determined I should lodge. The great gate fronting to the north
  was about four feet high, and almost two feet wide, through which
  I could easily creep. On each side of the gate was a small window,
  not above six inches from the ground: into that on the left side, the
  king's smith conveyed four-score and eleven chains, like those
  that hang to a lady's watch in Europe, and almost as large, which
  were locked to my left leg with six-and-thirty padlocks. Over
  against this temple, on the other side of the great highway, at
  twenty feet distance, there was a turret at least five feet high. Here
  the emperor ascended, with many principal lords of his court, to
  have an opportunity of viewing me, as I was told, for I could not
  see them. It was reckoned that above a hundred thousand.
  inhabitants came out of the town upon the same errand; and, in
  spite of my guards, I believe there could not be fewer than ten
  thousand at several times, who mounted my body by the help of
  ladders. But a proclamation was soon issued, to forbid it upon
  pain of death. When the workmen found it was impossible for me
  to break loose, they cut all the strings that bound me; whereupon I
  rose up, with as melancholy a disposition as ever I had in my life.
  But the noise and astonishment of the people, at seeing me rise
  and walk, are not to be expressed. The chains that held my left leg
  were about two yards long, and gave me not only the liberty of
  walking backwards and forwards in a semicircle, but, being fixed
  within four inches of the gate, allowed me to creep in, and lie at
  my full length in the temple..
  
  
CHAPTER II.
  
  [The emperor of Lilliput, attended by several of the nobility,
  comes to see the author in his confinement. The emperor's person
  and habit described. Learned men appointed to teach the author
  their language. He gains favour by his mild disposition. His
  pockets are searched, and his sword and pistols taken from him.]
  When I found myself on my feet, I looked about me, and must
  confess I never beheld a more entertaining prospect. The country
  around appeared like a continued garden, and the enclosed fields,
  which were generally forty feet square, resembled so many beds
  of flowers. These fields were intermingled with woods of half a
  stang, (1) and the tallest trees, as I could judge, appeared to be
  seven feet high. I viewed the town on my left hand, which looked
  like the painted scene of a city in a theatre.
  I had been for some hours extremely pressed by the necessities of
  nature; which was no wonder, it being almost two days since I had
  last disburdened myself. I was under great difficulties between
  urgency and shame. The best expedient I could think of, was to
  creep into my house, which I accordingly did; and shutting the
  gate after me, I went as far as the length of my chain would suffer,
  and discharged my body of that uneasy load. But this was the only
  time I was ever guilty of so uncleanly an action; for which I.
  cannot but hope the candid reader will give some allowance, after
  he has maturely and impartially considered my case, and the
  distress I was in. From this time my constant practice was, as soon
  as I rose, to perform that business in open air, at the full extent of
  my chain; and due care was taken every morning before company
  came, that the offensive matter should be carried off in wheel-barrows,
  by two servants appointed for that purpose. I would not
  have dwelt so long upon a circumstance that, perhaps, at first
  sight, may appear not very momentous, if I had not thought it
  necessary to justify my character, in point of cleanliness, to the
  world; which, I am told, some of my maligners have been pleased,
  upon this and other occasions, to call in question.
  When this adventure was at an end, I came back out of my house,
  having occasion for fresh air. The emperor was already descended
  from the tower, and advancing on horse-back towards me, which
  had like to have cost him dear; for the beast, though very well
  trained, yet wholly unused to such a sight, which appeared as if a
  mountain moved before him, reared up on its hinder feet: but that
  prince, who is an excellent horseman, kept his seat, till his
  attendants ran in, and held the bridle, while his majesty had time
  to dismount. When he alighted, he surveyed me round with great
  admiration; but kept beyond the length of my chain. He ordered
  his cooks and butlers, who were already prepared, to give me
  victuals and drink, which they pushed forward in a sort of vehicles
  upon wheels, till I could reach them. I took these vehicles and
  soon emptied them all; twenty of them were filled with meat, and
  ten with liquor; each of the former afforded me two or three good
  mouthfuls; and I emptied the liquor of ten vessels, which was.
  contained in earthen vials, into one vehicle, drinking it off at a
  draught; and so I did with the rest. The empress, and young
  princes of the blood of both sexes, attended by many ladies, sat at
  some distance in their chairs; but upon the accident that happened
  to the emperor's horse, they alighted, and came near his person,
  which I am now going to describe. He is taller by almost the
  breadth of my nail, than any of his court; which alone is enough to
  strike an awe into the beholders.
  His features are strong and masculine, with an Austrian lip and
  arched nose, his complexion olive, his countenance erect, his
  body and limbs well proportioned, all his motions graceful, and
  his deportment majestic. He was then past his prime, being
  twenty-eight years and three quarters old, of which he had reigned
  about seven in great felicity, and generally victorious. For the
  better convenience of beholding him, I lay on my side, so that my
  face was parallel to his, and he stood but three yards off: however,
  I have had him since many times in my hand, and therefore cannot
  be deceived in the description. His dress was very plain and
  simple, and the fashion of it between the Asiatic and the
  European; but he had on his head a light helmet of gold, adorned
  with jewels, and a plume on the crest. He held his sword drawn in
  his hand to defend himself, if I should happen to break loose; it
  was almost three inches long; the hilt and scabbard were gold
  enriched with diamonds. His voice was shrill, but very clear and
  articulate; and I could distinctly hear it when I stood up. The
  ladies and courtiers were all most magnificently clad; so that the
  spot they stood upon seemed to resemble a petticoat spread upon
  the ground, embroidered with figures of gold and silver. His.
  imperial majesty spoke often to me, and I returned answers: but
  neither of us could understand a syllable. There were several of
  his priests and lawyers present (as I conjectured by their habits),
  who were commanded to address themselves to me; and I spoke
  to them in as many languages as I had the least smattering of,
  which were High and Low Dutch, Latin, French, Spanish, Italian,
  and Lingua Franca, but all to no purpose. After about two hours
  the court retired, and I was left with a strong guard, to prevent the
  impertinence, and probably the malice of the rabble, who were
  very impatient to crowd about me as near as they durst; and some
  of them had the impudence to shoot their arrows at me, as I sat on
  the ground by the door of my house, whereof one very narrowly
  missed my left eye. But the colonel ordered six of the ringleaders
  to be seized, and thought no punishment so proper as to deliver
  them bound into my hands; which some of his soldiers
  accordingly did, pushing them forward with the butt-ends of their
  pikes into my reach. I took them all in my right hand, put five of
  them into my coat-pocket; and as to the sixth, I made a
  countenance as if I would eat him alive. The poor man squalled
  terribly, and the colonel and his officers were in much pain,
  especially when they saw me take out my penknife: but I soon put
  them out of fear; for, looking mildly, and immediately cutting the
  strings he was bound with, I set him gently on the ground, and
  away he ran. I treated the rest in the same manner, taking them
  one by one out of my pocket; and I observed both the soldiers and
  people were highly delighted at this mark of my clemency, which
  was represented very much to my advantage at court..
  Towards night I got with some difficulty into my house, where I
  lay on the ground, and continued to do so about a fortnight; during
  which time, the emperor gave orders to have a bed prepared for
  me. Six hundred beds of the common measure were brought in
  carriages, and worked up in my house; a hundred and fifty of their
  beds, sewn together, made up the breadth and length; and these
  were four double: which, however, kept me but very indifferently
  from the hardness of the floor, that was of smooth stone. By the
  same computation, they provided me with sheets, blankets, and
  coverlets, tolerable enough for one who had been so long inured
  to hardships.
  As the news of my arrival spread through the kingdom, it brought
  prodigious numbers of rich, idle, and curious people to see me; so
  that the villages were almost emptied; and great neglect of tillage
  and household affairs must have ensued, if his imperial majesty
  had not provided, by several proclamations and orders of state,
  against this inconveniency. He directed that those who had
  already beheld me should return home, and not presume to come
  within fifty yards of my house, without license from the court;
  whereby the secretaries of state got considerable fees.
  In the mean time the emperor held frequent councils, to debate
  what course should be taken with me; and I was afterwards
  assured by a particular friend, a person of great quality, who was
  as much in the secret as any, that the court was under many
  difficulties concerning me. They apprehended my breaking loose;
  that my diet would be very expensive, and might cause a famine.
  Sometimes they determined to starve me; or at least to shoot me in.
  the face and hands with poisoned arrows, which would soon
  despatch me; but again they considered, that the stench of so large
  a carcass might produce a plague in the metropolis, and probably
  spread through the whole kingdom. In the midst of these
  consultations, several officers of the army went to the door of the
  great council-chamber, and two of them being admitted, gave an
  account of my behaviour to the six criminals above-mentioned;
  which made so favourable an impression in the breast of his
  majesty and the whole board, in my behalf, that an imperial
  commission was issued out, obliging all the villages, nine hundred
  yards round the city, to deliver in every morning six beeves, forty
  sheep, and other victuals for my sustenance; together with a
  proportionable quantity of bread, and wine, and other liquors; for
  the due payment of which, his majesty gave assignments upon his
  treasury:--for this prince lives chiefly upon his own demesnes;
  seldom, except upon great occasions, raising any subsidies upon
  his subjects, who are bound to attend him in his wars at their own
  expense. An establishment was also made of six hundred persons
  to be my domestics, who had board-wages allowed for their
  maintenance, and tents built for them very conveniently on each
  side of my door. It was likewise ordered, that three hundred tailors
  should make me a suit of clothes, after the fashion of the country;
  that six of his majesty's greatest scholars should be employed to
  instruct me in their language; and lastly, that the emperor's horses,
  and those of the nobility and troops of guards, should be
  frequently exercised in my sight, to accustom themselves to me.
  All these orders were duly put in execution; and in about three
  weeks I made a great progress in learning their language; during
  which time the emperor frequently honoured me with his visits,.
  and was pleased to assist my masters in teaching me. We began
  already to converse together in some sort; and the first words I
  learnt, were to express my desire "that he would please give me
  my liberty;" which I every day repeated on my knees. His answer,
  as I could comprehend it, was, "that this must be a work of time,
  not to be thought on without the advice of his council, and that
  first I must LUMOS KELMIN PESSO DESMAR LON
  EMPOSO;" that is, swear a peace with him and his kingdom.
  However, that I should be used with all kindness. And he advised
  me to "acquire, by my patience and discreet behaviour, the good
  opinion of himself and his subjects." He desired "I would not take
  it ill, if he gave orders to certain proper officers to search me; for
  probably I might carry about me several weapons, which must
  needs be dangerous things, if they answered the bulk of so
  prodigious a person." I said, "His majesty should be satisfied; for I
  was ready to strip myself, and turn up my pockets before him."
  This I delivered part in words, and part in signs. He replied, "that,
  by the laws of the kingdom, I must be searched by two of his
  officers; that he knew this could not be done without my consent
  and assistance; and he had so good an opinion of my generosity
  and justice, as to trust their persons in my hands; that whatever
  they took from me, should be returned when I left the country, or
  paid for at the rate which I would set upon them." I took up the
  two officers in my hands, put them first into my coat-pockets, and
  then into every other pocket about me, except my two fobs, and
  another secret pocket, which I had no mind should be searched,
  wherein I had some little necessaries that were of no consequence
  to any but myself. In one of my fobs there was a silver watch, and
  in the other a small quantity of gold in a purse. These gentlemen,.
  having pen, ink, and paper, about them, made an exact inventory
  of every thing they saw; and when they had done, desired I would
  set them down, that they might deliver it to the emperor. This
  inventory I afterwards translated into English, and is, word for
  word, as follows:
  "IMPRIMIS, In the right coat-pocket of the great man-mountain"
  (for so I interpret the words QUINBUS FLESTRIN,) "after the
  strictest search, we found only one great piece of coarse-cloth,
  large enough to be a foot-cloth for your majesty's chief room of
  state. In the left pocket we saw a huge silver chest, with a cover of
  the same metal, which we, the searchers, were not able to lift. We
  desired it should be opened, and one of us stepping into it, found
  himself up to the mid leg in a sort of dust, some part whereof
  flying up to our faces set us both a sneezing for several times
  together. In his right waistcoat-pocket we found a prodigious
  bundle of white thin substances, folded one over another, about
  the bigness of three men, tied with a strong cable, and marked
  with black figures; which we humbly conceive to be writings,
  every letter almost half as large as the palm of our hands. In the
  left there was a sort of engine, from the back of which were
  extended twenty long poles, resembling the pallisados before your
  majesty's court: wherewith we conjecture the man-mountain
  combs his head; for we did not always trouble him with questions,
  because we found it a great difficulty to make him understand us.
  In the large pocket, on the right side of his middle cover" (so I
  translate the word RANFULO, by which they meant my
  breeches,) "we saw a hollow pillar of iron, about the length of a
  man, fastened to a strong piece of timber larger than the pillar; and.
  upon one side of the pillar, were huge pieces of iron sticking out,
  cut into strange figures, which we know not what to make of. In
  the left pocket, another engine of the same kind. In the smaller
  pocket on the right side, were several round flat pieces of white
  and red metal, of different bulk; some of the white, which seemed
  to be silver, were so large and heavy, that my comrade and I could
  hardly lift them. In the left pocket were two black pillars
  irregularly shaped: we could not, without difficulty, reach the top
  of them, as we stood at the bottom of his pocket. One of them was
  covered, and seemed all of a piece: but at the upper end of the
  other there appeared a white round substance, about twice the
  bigness of our heads. Within each of these was enclosed a
  prodigious plate of steel; which, by our orders, we obliged him to
  show us, because we apprehended they might be dangerous
  engines. He took them out of their cases, and told us, that in his
  own country his practice was to shave his beard with one of these,
  and cut his meat with the other. There were two pockets which we
  could not enter: these he called his fobs; they were two large slits
  cut into the top of his middle cover, but squeezed close by the
  pressure of his belly. Out of the right fob hung a great silver chain,
  with a wonderful kind of engine at the bottom. We directed him to
  draw out whatever was at the end of that chain; which appeared to
  be a globe, half silver, and half of some transparent metal; for, on
  the transparent side, we saw certain strange figures circularly
  drawn, and though we could touch them, till we found our fingers
  stopped by the lucid substance. He put this engine into our ears,
  which made an incessant noise, like that of a water-mill: and we
  conjecture it is either some unknown animal, or the god that he
  worships; but we are more inclined to the latter opinion, because.
  he assured us, (if we understood him right, for he expressed
  himself very imperfectly) that he seldom did any thing without
  consulting it. He called it his oracle, and said, it pointed out the
  time for every action of his life. From the left fob he took out a net
  almost large enough for a fisherman, but contrived to open and
  shut like a purse, and served him for the same use: we found
  therein several massy pieces of yellow metal, which, if they be
  real gold, must be of immense value.
  "Having thus, in obedience to your majesty's commands,
  diligently searched all his pockets, we observed a girdle about his
  waist made of the hide of some prodigious animal, from which, on
  the left side, hung a sword of the length of five men; and on the
  right, a bag or pouch divided into two cells, each cell capable of
  holding three of your majesty's subjects. In one of these cells were
  several globes, or balls, of a most ponderous metal, about the
  bigness of our heads, and requiring a strong hand to lift them: the
  other cell contained a heap of certain black grains, but of no great
  bulk or weight, for we could hold above fifty of them in the palms
  of our hands.
  "This is an exact inventory of what we found about the body of
  the man-mountain, who used us with great civility, and due
  respect to your majesty's commission. Signed and sealed on the
  fourth day of the eighty-ninth moon of your majesty's auspicious
  reign.
  
                 CLEFRIN FRELOCK, MARSI FRELOCK.".
  
  When this inventory was read over to the emperor, he directed me,
  although in very gentle terms, to deliver up the several particulars.
  He first called for my scimitar, which I took out, scabbard and all.
  In the mean time he ordered three thousand of his choicest troops
  (who then attended him) to surround me at a distance, with their
  bows and arrows just ready to discharge; but I did not observe it,
  for mine eyes were wholly fixed upon his majesty. He then
  desired me to draw my scimitar, which, although it had got some
  rust by the sea water, was, in most parts, exceeding bright. I did
  so, and immediately all the troops gave a shout between terror and
  surprise; for the sun shone clear, and the reflection dazzled their
  eyes, as I waved the scimitar to and fro in my hand. His majesty,
  who is a most magnanimous prince, was less daunted than I could
  expect: he ordered me to return it into the scabbard, and cast it on
  the ground as gently as I could, about six feet from the end of my
  chain. The next thing he demanded was one of the hollow iron
  pillars; by which he meant my pocket pistols. I drew it out, and at
  his desire, as well as I could, expressed to him the use of it; and
  charging it only with powder, which, by the closeness of my
  pouch, happened to escape wetting in the sea (an inconvenience
  against which all prudent mariners take special care to provide,) I
  first cautioned the emperor not to be afraid, and then I let it off in
  the air. The astonishment here was much greater than at the sight
  of my scimitar. Hundreds fell down as if they had been struck
  dead; and even the emperor, although he stood his ground, could
  not recover himself for some time. I delivered up both my pistols
  in the same manner as I had done my scimitar, and then my pouch
  of powder and bullets; begging him that the former might be kept
  from fire, for it would kindle with the smallest spark, and blow up.
  his imperial palace into the air. I likewise delivered up my watch,
  which the emperor was very curious to see, and commanded two
  of his tallest yeomen of the guards to bear it on a pole upon their
  shoulders, as draymen in England do a barrel of ale. He was
  amazed at the continual noise it made, and the motion of the
  minute-hand, which he could easily discern; for their sight is
  much more acute than ours: he asked the opinions of his learned
  men about it, which were various and remote, as the reader may
  well imagine without my repeating; although indeed I could not
  very perfectly understand them. I then gave up my silver and
  copper money, my purse, with nine large pieces of gold, and some
  smaller ones; my knife and razor, my comb and silver snuff-box,
  my handkerchief and journal-book. My scimitar, pistols, and
  pouch, were conveyed in carriages to his majesty's stores; but the
  rest of my goods were returned me.
  I had as I before observed, one private pocket, which escaped
  their search, wherein there was a pair of spectacles (which I
  sometimes use for the weakness of mine eyes,) a pocket
  perspective, and some other little conveniences; which, being of
  no consequence to the emperor, I did not think myself bound in
  honour to discover, and I apprehended they might be lost or
  spoiled if I ventured them out of my possession..
  
  
CHAPTER III.
  
  [The author diverts the emperor, and his nobility of both sexes, in
  a very uncommon manner. The diversions of the court of Lilliput
  described. The author has his liberty granted him upon certain
  conditions.]
  My gentleness and good behaviour had gained so far on the
  emperor and his court, and indeed upon the army and people in
  general, that I began to conceive hopes of getting my liberty in a
  short time. I took all possible methods to cultivate this favourable
  disposition. The natives came, by degrees, to be less apprehensive
  of any danger from me. I would sometimes lie down, and let five
  or six of them dance on my hand; and at last the boys and girls
  would venture to come and play at hide-and-seek in my hair. I had
  now made a good progress in understanding and speaking the
  language. The emperor had a mind one day to entertain me with
  several of the country shows, wherein they exceed all nations I
  have known, both for dexterity and magnificence. I was diverted
  with none so much as that of the rope-dancers, performed upon a
  slender white thread, extended about two feet, and twelve inches
  from the ground. Upon which I shall desire liberty, with the
  reader's patience, to enlarge a little..
  This diversion is only practised by those persons who are
  candidates for great employments, and high favour at court. They
  are trained in this art from their youth, and are not always of noble
  birth, or liberal education. When a great office is vacant, either by
  death or disgrace (which often happens,) five or six of those
  candidates petition the emperor to entertain his majesty and the
  court with a dance on the rope; and whoever jumps the highest,
  without falling, succeeds in the office. Very often the chief
  ministers themselves are commanded to show their skill, and to
  convince the emperor that they have not lost their faculty.
  Flimnap, the treasurer, is allowed to cut a caper on the straight
  rope, at least an inch higher than any other lord in the whole
  empire. I have seen him do the summerset several times together,
  upon a trencher fixed on a rope which is no thicker than a
  common pack-thread in England. My friend Reldresal, principal
  secretary for private affairs, is, in my opinion, if I am not partial,
  the second after the treasurer; the rest of the great officers are
  much upon a par.
  These diversions are often attended with fatal accidents, whereof
  great numbers are on record. I myself have seen two or three
  candidates break a limb. But the danger is much greater, when the
  ministers themselves are commanded to show their dexterity; for,
  by contending to excel themselves and their fellows, they strain so
  far that there is hardly one of them who has not received a fall,
  and some of them two or three. I was assured that, a year or two
  before my arrival, Flimnap would infallibly have broke his neck,
  if one of the king's cushions, that accidentally lay on the ground,
  had not weakened the force of his fall..
  There is likewise another diversion, which is only shown before
  the emperor and empress, and first minister, upon particular
  occasions. The emperor lays on the table three fine silken threads
  of six inches long; one is blue, the other red, and the third green.
  These threads are proposed as prizes for those persons whom the
  emperor has a mind to distinguish by a peculiar mark of his
  favour. The ceremony is performed in his majesty's great chamber
  of state, where the candidates are to undergo a trial of dexterity
  very different from the former, and such as I have not observed
  the least resemblance of in any other country of the new or old
  world. The emperor holds a stick in his hands, both ends parallel
  to the horizon, while the candidates advancing, one by one,
  sometimes leap over the stick, sometimes creep under it,
  backward and forward, several times, according as the stick is
  advanced or depressed. Sometimes the emperor holds one end of
  the stick, and his first minister the other; sometimes the minister
  has it entirely to himself. Whoever performs his part with most
  agility, and holds out the longest in leaping and creeping, is
  rewarded with the blue-coloured silk; the red is given to the next,
  and the green to the third, which they all wear girt twice round
  about the middle; and you see few great persons about this court
  who are not adorned with one of these girdles.
  The horses of the army, and those of the royal stables, having been
  daily led before me, were no longer shy, but would come up to my
  very feet without starting. The riders would leap them over my
  hand, as I held it on the ground; and one of the emperor's
  huntsmen, upon a large courser, took my foot, shoe and all; which.
  was indeed a prodigious leap. I had the good fortune to divert the
  emperor one day after a very extraordinary manner. I desired he
  would order several sticks of two feet high, and the thickness of
  an ordinary cane, to be brought me; whereupon his majesty
  commanded the master of his woods to give directions
  accordingly; and the next morning six woodmen arrived with as
  many carriages, drawn by eight horses to each. I took nine of
  these sticks, and fixing them firmly in the ground in a
  quadrangular figure, two feet and a half square, I took four other
  sticks, and tied them parallel at each corner, about two feet from
  the ground; then I fastened my handkerchief to the nine sticks that
  stood erect; and extended it on all sides, till it was tight as the top
  of a drum; and the four parallel sticks, rising about five inches
  higher than the handkerchief, served as ledges on each side. When
  I had finished my work, I desired the emperor to let a troop of his
  best horses twenty-four in number, come and exercise upon this
  plain. His majesty approved of the proposal, and I took them up,
  one by one, in my hands, ready mounted and armed, with the
  proper officers to exercise them. As soon as they got into order
  they divided into two parties, performed mock skirmishes,
  discharged blunt arrows, drew their swords, fled and pursued,
  attacked and retired, and in short discovered the best military
  discipline I ever beheld. The parallel sticks secured them and their
  horses from falling over the stage; and the emperor was so much
  delighted, that he ordered this entertainment to be repeated several
  days, and once was pleased to be lifted up and give the word of
  command; and with great difficulty persuaded even the empress
  herself to let me hold her in her close chair within two yards of the
  stage, when she was able to take a full view of the whole.
  performance. It was my good fortune, that no ill accident
  happened in these entertainments; only once a fiery horse, that
  belonged to one of the captains, pawing with his hoof, struck a
  hole in my handkerchief, and his foot slipping, he overthrew his
  rider and himself; but I immediately relieved them both, and
  covering the hole with one hand, I set down the troop with the
  other, in the same manner as I took them up. The horse that fell
  was strained in the left shoulder, but the rider got no hurt; and I
  repaired my handkerchief as well as I could: however, I would not
  trust to the strength of it any more, in such dangerous enterprises.
  About two or three days before I was set at liberty, as I was
  entertaining the court with this kind of feat, there arrived an
  express to inform his majesty, that some of his subjects, riding
  near the place where I was first taken up, had seen a great black
  substance lying on the around, very oddly shaped, extending its
  edges round, as wide as his majesty's bedchamber, and rising up in
  the middle as high as a man; that it was no living creature, as they
  at first apprehended, for it lay on the grass without motion; and
  some of them had walked round it several times; that, by
  mounting upon each other's shoulders, they had got to the top,
  which was flat and even, and, stamping upon it, they found that it
  was hollow within; that they humbly conceived it might be
  something belonging to the man-mountain; and if his majesty
  pleased, they would undertake to bring it with only five horses. I
  presently knew what they meant, and was glad at heart to receive
  this intelligence. It seems, upon my first reaching the shore after
  our shipwreck, I was in such confusion, that before I came to the
  place where I went to sleep, my hat, which I had fastened with a.
  string to my head while I was rowing, and had stuck on all the
  time I was swimming, fell off after I came to land; the string, as I
  conjecture, breaking by some accident, which I never observed,
  but thought my hat had been lost at sea. I entreated his imperial
  majesty to give orders it might be brought to me as soon as
  possible, describing to him the use and the nature of it: and the
  next day the waggoners arrived with it, but not in a very good
  condition; they had bored two holes in the brim, within an inch
  and half of the edge, and fastened two hooks in the holes; these
  hooks were tied by a long cord to the harness, and thus my hat was
  dragged along for above half an English mile; but, the ground in
  that country being extremely smooth and level, it received less
  damage than I expected.
  Two days after this adventure, the emperor, having ordered that
  part of his army which quarters in and about his metropolis, to be
  in readiness, took a fancy of diverting himself in a very singular
  manner. He desired I would stand like a Colossus, with my legs as
  far asunder as I conveniently could. He then commanded his
  general (who was an old experienced leader, and a great patron of
  mine) to draw up the troops in close order, and march them under
  me; the foot by twenty-four abreast, and the horse by sixteen, with
  drums beating, colours flying, and pikes advanced. This body
  consisted of three thousand foot, and a thousand horse. His
  majesty gave orders, upon pain of death, that every soldier in his
  march should observe the strictest decency with regard to my
  person; which however could not prevent some of the younger
  officers from turning up their eyes as they passed under me: and,.
  to confess the truth, my breeches were at that time in so ill a
  condition, that they afforded some opportunities for laughter and
  admiration.
  I had sent so many memorials and petitions for my liberty, that his
  majesty at length mentioned the matter, first in the cabinet, and
  then in a full council; where it was opposed by none, except
  Skyresh Bolgolam, who was pleased, without any provocation, to
  be my mortal enemy. But it was carried against him by the whole
  board, and confirmed by the emperor. That minister was
  GALBET, or admiral of the realm, very much in his master's
  confidence, and a person well versed in affairs, but of a morose
  and sour complexion. However, he was at length persuaded to
  comply; but prevailed that the articles and conditions upon which
  I should be set free, and to which I must swear, should be drawn
  up by himself. These articles were brought to me by Skyresh
  Bolgolam in person attended by two under-secretaries, and
  several persons of distinction. After they were read, I was
  demanded to swear to the performance of them; first in the
  manner of my own country, and afterwards in the method
  prescribed by their laws; which was, to hold my right foot in my
  left hand, and to place the middle finger of my right hand on the
  crown of my head, and my thumb on the tip of my right ear. But
  because the reader may be curious to have some idea of the style
  and manner of expression peculiar to that people, as well as to
  know the article upon which I recovered my liberty, I have made a
  translation of the whole instrument, word for word, as near as I
  was able, which I here offer to the public..
  "Golbasto Momarem Evlame Gurdilo Shefin Mully Ully Gue,
  most mighty Emperor of Lilliput, delight and terror of the
  universe, whose dominions extend five thousand BLUSTRUGS
  (about twelve miles in circumference) to the extremities of the
  globe; monarch of all monarchs, taller than the sons of men;
  whose feet press down to the centre, and whose head strikes
  against the sun; at whose nod the princes of the earth shake their
  knees; pleasant as the spring, comfortable as the summer, fruitful
  as autumn, dreadful as winter: his most sublime majesty proposes
  to the man-mountain, lately arrived at our celestial dominions, the
  following articles, which, by a solemn oath, he shall be obliged to
  perform:--"
  1st, The man-mountain shall not depart from our dominions,
  without our license under our great seal.
  "2d, He shall not presume to come into our metropolis, without
  our express order; at which time, the inhabitants shall have two
  hours warning to keep within doors.
  "3d, The said man-mountain shall confine his walks to our
  principal high roads, and not offer to walk, or lie down, in a
  meadow or field of corn.
  "4th, As he walks the said roads, he shall take the utmost care not
  to trample upon the bodies of any of our loving subjects, their
  horses, or carriages, nor take any of our subjects into his hands
  without their own consent..
  "5th, If an express requires extraordinary despatch, the man-mountain
  shall be obliged to carry, in his pocket, the messenger
  and horse a six days journey, once in every moon, and return the
  said messenger back (if so required) safe to our imperial presence.
  "6th, He shall be our ally against our enemies in the island of
  Blefuscu, and do his utmost to destroy their fleet, which is now
  preparing to invade us.
  "7th, That the said man-mountain shall, at his times of leisure, be
  aiding and assisting to our workmen, in helping to raise certain
  great stones, towards covering the wall of the principal park, and
  other our royal buildings.
  "8th, That the said man-mountain shall, in two moons' time,
  deliver in an exact survey of the circumference of our dominions,
  by a computation of his own paces round the coast.
  "Lastly, That, upon his solemn oath to observe all the above
  articles, the said man-mountain shall have a daily allowance of
  meat and drink sufficient for the support of 1724 of our subjects,
  with free access to our royal person, and other marks of our
  favour. Given at our palace at Belfaborac, the twelfth day of the
  ninety-first moon of our reign."
  I swore and subscribed to these articles with great cheerfulness
  and content, although some of them were not so honourable as I
  could have wished; which proceeded wholly from the malice of
  Skyresh Bolgolam, the high-admiral: whereupon my chains were.
  immediately unlocked, and I was at full liberty. The emperor
  himself, in person, did me the honour to be by at the whole
  ceremony. I made my acknowledgements by prostrating myself at
  his majesty's feet: but he commanded me to rise; and after many
  gracious expressions, which, to avoid the censure of vanity, I shall
  not repeat, he added, "that he hoped I should prove a useful
  servant, and well deserve all the favours he had already conferred
  upon me, or might do for the future."
  The reader may please to observe, that, in the last article of the
  recovery of my liberty, the emperor stipulates to allow me a
  quantity of meat and drink sufficient for the support of 1724
  Lilliputians. Some time after, asking a friend at court how they
  came to fix on that determinate number, he told me that his
  majesty's mathematicians, having taken the height of my body by
  the help of a quadrant, and finding it to exceed theirs in the
  proportion of twelve to one, they concluded from the similarity of
  their bodies, that mine must contain at least 1724 of theirs, and
  consequently would require as much food as was necessary to
  support that number of Lilliputians. By which the reader may
  conceive an idea of the ingenuity of that people, as well as the
  prudent and exact economy of so great a prince..
  
  
CHAPTER IV.
  
  [Mildendo, the metropolis of Lilliput, described, together with the
  emperor's palace. A conversation between the author and a
  principal secretary, concerning the affairs of that empire. The
  author's offers to serve the emperor in his wars.]
  The first request I made, after I had obtained my liberty, was, that
  I might have license to see Mildendo, the metropolis; which the
  emperor easily granted me, but with a special charge to do no hurt
  either to the inhabitants or their houses. The people had notice, by
  proclamation, of my design to visit the town. The wall which
  encompassed it is two feet and a half high, and at least eleven
  inches broad, so that a coach and horses may be driven very safely
  round it; and it is flanked with strong towers at ten feet distance. I
  stepped over the great western gate, and passed very gently, and
  sidling, through the two principal streets, only in my short
  waistcoat, for fear of damaging the roofs and eaves of the houses
  with the skirts of my coat. I walked with the utmost
  circumspection, to avoid treading on any stragglers who might
  remain in the streets, although the orders were very strict, that all
  people should keep in their houses, at their own peril. The garret
  windows and tops of houses were so crowded with spectators, that
  I thought in all my travels I had not seen a more populous place.
  The city is an exact square, each side of the wall being five.
  hundred feet long. The two great streets, which run across and
  divide it into four quarters, are five feet wide. The lanes and
  alleys, which I could not enter, but only view them as I passed, are
  from twelve to eighteen inches. The town is capable of holding
  five hundred thousand souls: the houses are from three to five
  stories: the shops and markets well provided.
  The emperor's palace is in the centre of the city where the two
  great streets meet. It is enclosed by a wall of two feet high, and
  twenty feet distance from the buildings. I had his majesty's
  permission to step over this wall; and, the space being so wide
  between that and the palace, I could easily view it on every side.
  The outward court is a square of forty feet, and includes two other
  courts: in the inmost are the royal apartments, which I was very
  desirous to see, but found it extremely difficult; for the great
  gates, from one square into another, were but eighteen inches
  high, and seven inches wide. Now the buildings of the outer court
  were at least five feet high, and it was impossible for me to stride
  over them without infinite damage to the pile, though the walls
  were strongly built of hewn stone, and four inches thick. At the
  same time the emperor had a great desire that I should see the
  magnificence of his palace; but this I was not able to do till three
  days after, which I spent in cutting down with my knife some of
  the largest trees in the royal park, about a hundred yards distant
  from the city. Of these trees I made two stools, each about three
  feet high, and strong enough to bear my weight. The people
  having received notice a second time, I went again through the
  city to the palace with my two stools in my hands. When I came to
  the side of the outer court, I stood upon one stool, and took the.
  other in my hand; this I lifted over the roof, and gently set it down
  on the space between the first and second court, which was eight
  feet wide. I then stept over the building very conveniently from
  one stool to the other, and drew up the first after me with a hooked
  stick. By this contrivance I got into the inmost court; and, lying
  down upon my side, I applied my face to the windows of the
  middle stories, which were left open on purpose, and discovered
  the most splendid apartments that can be imagined. There I saw
  the empress and the young princes, in their several lodgings, with
  their chief attendants about them. Her imperial majesty was
  pleased to smile very graciously upon me, and gave me out of the
  window her hand to kiss.
  But I shall not anticipate the reader with further descriptions of
  this kind, because I reserve them for a greater work, which is now
  almost ready for the press; containing a general description of this
  empire, from its first erection, through along series of princes;
  with a particular account of their wars and politics, laws, learning,
  and religion; their plants and animals; their peculiar manners and
  customs, with other matters very curious and useful; my chief
  design at present being only to relate such events and transactions
  as happened to the public or to myself during a residence of about
  nine months in that empire.
  One morning, about a fortnight after I had obtained my liberty,
  Reldresal, principal secretary (as they style him) for private
  affairs, came to my house attended only by one servant. He
  ordered his coach to wait at a distance, and desired I would give
  him an hours audience; which I readily consented to, on account.
  of his quality and personal merits, as well as of the many good
  offices he had done me during my solicitations at court. I offered
  to lie down that he might the more conveniently reach my ear, but
  he chose rather to let me hold him in my hand during our
  conversation. He began with compliments on my liberty; said "he
  might pretend to some merit in it;" but, however, added, "that if it
  had not been for the present situation of things at court, perhaps I
  might not have obtained it so soon. For," said he, "as flourishing a
  condition as we may appear to be in to foreigners, we labour
  under two mighty evils: a violent faction at home, and the danger
  of an invasion, by a most potent enemy, from abroad. As to the
  first, you are to understand, that for about seventy moons past
  there have been two struggling parties in this empire, under the
  names of TRAMECKSAN and SLAMECKSAN, from the high
  and low heels of their shoes, by which they distinguish
  themselves. It is alleged, indeed, that the high heels are most
  agreeable to our ancient constitution; but, however this be, his
  majesty has determined to make use only of low heels in the
  administration of the government, and all offices in the gift of the
  crown, as you cannot but observe; and particularly that his
  majesty's imperial heels are lower at least by a DRURR than any
  of his court (DRURR is a measure about the fourteenth part of an
  inch). The animosities between these two parties run so high, that
  they will neither eat, nor drink, nor talk with each other. We
  compute the TRAMECKSAN, or high heels, to exceed us in
  number; but the power is wholly on our side. We apprehend his
  imperial highness, the heir to the crown, to have some tendency
  towards the high heels; at least we can plainly discover that one of
  his heels is higher than the other, which gives him a hobble in his.
  gait. Now, in the midst of these intestine disquiets, we are
  threatened with an invasion from the island of Blefuscu, which is
  the other great empire of the universe, almost as large and
  powerful as this of his majesty. For as to what we have heard you
  affirm, that there are other kingdoms and states in the world
  inhabited by human creatures as large as yourself, our
  philosophers are in much doubt, and would rather conjecture that
  you dropped from the moon, or one of the stars; because it is
  certain, that a hundred mortals of your bulk would in a short time
  destroy all the fruits and cattle of his majesty's dominions:
  besides, our histories of six thousand moons make no mention of
  any other regions than the two great empires of Lilliput and
  Blefuscu. Which two mighty powers have, as I was going to tell
  you, been engaged in a most obstinate war for six-and-thirty
  moons past. It began upon the following occasion. It is allowed on
  all hands, that the primitive way of breaking eggs, before we eat
  them, was upon the larger end; but his present majesty's
  grandfather, while he was a boy, going to eat an egg, and breaking
  it according to the ancient practice, happened to cut one of his
  fingers. Whereupon the emperor his father published an edict,
  commanding all his subjects, upon great penalties, to break the
  smaller end of their eggs. The people so highly resented this law,
  that our histories tell us, there have been six rebellions raised on
  that account; wherein one emperor lost his life, and another his
  crown. These civil commotions were constantly fomented by the
  monarchs of Blefuscu; and when they were quelled, the exiles
  always fled for refuge to that empire. It is computed that eleven
  thousand persons have at several times suffered death, rather than
  submit to break their eggs at the smaller end. Many hundred large.
  volumes have been published upon this controversy: but the
  books of the Big-endians have been long forbidden, and the whole
  party rendered incapable by law of holding employments. During
  the course of these troubles, the emperors of Blefusca did
  frequently expostulate by their ambassadors, accusing us of
  making a schism in religion, by offending against a fundamental
  doctrine of our great prophet Lustrog, in the fifty-fourth chapter of
  the Blundecral (which is their Alcoran). This, however, is thought
  to be a mere strain upon the text; for the words are these: 'that all
  true believers break their eggs at the convenient end.'
  And which is the convenient end, seems, in my humble opinion to
  be left to every man's conscience, or at least in the power of the
  chief magistrate to determine. Now, the Big-endian exiles have
  found so much credit in the emperor of Blefuscu's court, and so
  much private assistance and encouragement from their party here
  at home, that a bloody war has been carried on between the two
  empires for six-and-thirty moons, with various success; during
  which time we have lost forty capital ships, and a much a greater
  number of smaller vessels, together with thirty thousand of our
  best seamen and soldiers; and the damage received by the enemy
  is reckoned to be somewhat greater than ours. However, they have
  now equipped a numerous fleet, and are just preparing to make a
  descent upon us; and his imperial majesty, placing great
  confidence in your valour and strength, has commanded me to lay
  this account of his affairs before you.".
  I desired the secretary to present my humble duty to the emperor;
  and to let him know, "that I thought it would not become me, who
  was a foreigner, to interfere with parties; but I was ready, with the
  hazard of my life, to defend his person and state against all
  invaders.".
  
  
CHAPTER V.
  
  [The author, by an extraordinary stratagem, prevents an invasion.
  A high title of honour is conferred upon him. Ambassadors arrive
  from the emperor of Blefuscu, and sue for peace. The empress's
  apartment on fire by an accident; the author instrumental in saving
  the rest of the palace.]
  The empire of Blefuscu is an island situated to the north-east of
  Lilliput, from which it is parted only by a channel of eight
  hundred yards wide. I had not yet seen it, and upon this notice of
  an intended invasion, I avoided appearing on that side of the
  coast, for fear of being discovered, by some of the enemy's ships,
  who had received no intelligence of me; all intercourse between
  the two empires having been strictly forbidden during the war,
  upon pain of death, and an embargo laid by our emperor upon all
  vessels whatsoever. I communicated to his majesty a project I had
  formed of seizing the enemy's whole fleet; which, as our scouts
  assured us, lay at anchor in the harbour, ready to sail with the first
  fair wind. I consulted the most experienced seamen upon the
  depth of the channel, which they had often plumbed; who told me,
  that in the middle, at high-water, it was seventy GLUMGLUFFS
  deep, which is about six feet of European measure; and the rest of
  it fifty GLUMGLUFFS at most. I walked towards the north-east
  coast, over against Blefuscu, where, lying down behind a hillock,.
  I took out my small perspective glass, and viewed the enemy's
  fleet at anchor, consisting of about fifty men of war, and a great
  number of transports: I then came back to my house, and gave
  orders (for which I had a warrant) for a great quantity of the
  strongest cable and bars of iron. The cable was about as thick as
  packthread and the bars of the length and size of a knitting-needle.
  I trebled the cable to make it stronger, and for the same reason I
  twisted three of the iron bars together, bending the extremities into
  a hook. Having thus fixed fifty hooks to as many cables, I went
  back to the north-east coast, and putting off my coat, shoes, and
  stockings, walked into the sea, in my leathern jerkin, about half an
  hour before high water. I waded with what haste I could, and
  swam in the middle about thirty yards, till I felt ground. I arrived
  at the fleet in less than half an hour. The enemy was so frightened
  when they saw me, that they leaped out of their ships, and swam
  to shore, where there could not be fewer than thirty thousand
  souls. I then took my tackling, and, fastening a hook to the hole at
  the prow of each, I tied all the cords together at the end. While I
  was thus employed, the enemy discharged several thousand
  arrows, many of which stuck in my hands and face, and, beside
  the excessive smart, gave me much disturbance in my work. My
  greatest apprehension was for mine eyes, which I should have
  infallibly lost, if I had not suddenly thought of an expedient. I
  kept, among other little necessaries, a pair of spectacles in a
  private pocket, which, as I observed before, had escaped the
  emperor's searchers. These I took out and fastened as strongly as I
  could upon my nose, and thus armed, went on boldly with my
  work, in spite of the enemy's arrows, many of which struck
  against the glasses of my spectacles, but without any other effect,.
  further than a little to discompose them. I had now fastened all the
  hooks, and, taking the knot in my hand, began to pull; but not a
  ship would stir, for they were all too fast held by their anchors, so
  that the boldest part of my enterprise remained. I therefore let go
  the cord, and leaving the looks fixed to the ships, I resolutely cut
  with my knife the cables that fastened the anchors, receiving
  about two hundred shots in my face and hands; then I took up the
  knotted end of the cables, to which my hooks were tied, and with
  great ease drew fifty of the enemy's largest men of war after me.
  The Blefuscudians, who had not the least imagination of what I
  intended, were at first confounded with astonishment. They had
  seen me cut the cables, and thought my design was only to let the
  ships run adrift or fall foul on each other: but when they perceived
  the whole fleet moving in order, and saw me pulling at the end,
  they set up such a scream of grief and despair as it is almost
  impossible to describe or conceive. When I had got out of danger,
  I stopped awhile to pick out the arrows that stuck in my hands and
  face; and rubbed on some of the same ointment that was given me
  at my first arrival, as I have formerly mentioned. I then took off
  my spectacles, and waiting about an hour, till the tide was a little
  fallen, I waded through the middle with my cargo, and arrived
  safe at the royal port of Lilliput.
  The emperor and his whole court stood on the shore, expecting the
  issue of this great adventure. They saw the ships move forward in
  a large half-moon, but could not discern me, who was up to my
  breast in water. When I advanced to the middle of the channel,
  they were yet more in pain, because I was under water to my neck..
  The emperor concluded me to be drowned, and that the enemy's
  fleet was approaching in a hostile manner: but he was soon eased
  of his fears; for the channel growing shallower every step I made,
  I came in a short time within hearing, and holding up the end of
  the cable, by which the fleet was fastened, I cried in a loud voice,
  "Long live the most puissant king of Lilliput!" This great prince
  received me at my landing with all possible encomiums, and
  created me a NARDAC upon the spot, which is the highest title of
  honour among them.
  His majesty desired I would take some other opportunity of
  bringing all the rest of his enemy's ships into his ports. And so
  unmeasureable is the ambition of princes, that he seemed to think
  of nothing less than reducing the whole empire of Blefuscu into a
  province, and governing it, by a viceroy; of destroying the Big-endian
  exiles, and compelling that people to break the smaller end
  of their eggs, by which he would remain the sole monarch of the
  whole world. But I endeavoured to divert him from this design, by
  many arguments drawn from the topics of policy as well as
  justice; and I plainly protested, "that I would never be an
  instrument of bringing a free and brave people into slavery." And,
  when the matter was debated in council, the wisest part of the
  ministry were of my opinion.
  This open bold declaration of mine was so opposite to the
  schemes and politics of his imperial majesty, that he could never
  forgive me. He mentioned it in a very artful manner at council,
  where I was told that some of the wisest appeared, at least by their
  silence, to be of my opinion; but others, who were my secret.
  enemies, could not forbear some expressions which, by a side-wind,
  reflected on me. And from this time began an intrigue
  between his majesty and a junto of ministers, maliciously bent
  against me, which broke out in less than two months, and had like
  to have ended in my utter destruction. Of so little weight are the
  greatest services to princes, when put into the balance with a
  refusal to gratify their passions.
  About three weeks after this exploit, there arrived a solemn
  embassy from Blefuscu, with humble offers of a peace, which was
  soon concluded, upon conditions very advantageous to our
  emperor, wherewith I shall not trouble the reader. There were six
  ambassadors, with a train of about five hundred persons, and their
  entry was very magnificent, suitable to the grandeur of their
  master, and the importance of their business. When their treaty
  was finished, wherein I did them several good offices by the credit
  I now had, or at least appeared to have, at court, their excellencies,
  who were privately told how much I had been their friend, made
  me a visit in form. They began with many compliments upon my
  valour and generosity, invited me to that kingdom in the emperor
  their master's name, and desired me to show them some proofs of
  my prodigious strength, of which they had heard so many
  wonders; wherein I readily obliged them, but shall not trouble the
  reader with the particulars.
  When I had for some time entertained their excellencies, to their
  infinite satisfaction and surprise, I desired they would do me the
  honour to present my most humble respects to the emperor their
  master, the renown of whose virtues had so justly filled the whole.
  world with admiration, and whose royal person I resolved to
  attend, before I returned to my own country. Accordingly, the
  next time I had the honour to see our emperor, I desired his
  general license to wait on the Blefuscudian monarch, which he
  was pleased to grant me, as I could perceive, in a very cold
  manner; but could not guess the reason, till I had a whisper from a
  certain person, "that Flimnap and Bolgolam had represented my
  intercourse with those ambassadors as a mark of disaffection;"
  from which I am sure my heart was wholly free. And this was the
  first time I began to conceive some imperfect idea of courts and
  ministers.
  It is to be observed, that these ambassadors spoke to me, by an
  interpreter, the languages of both empires differing as much from
  each other as any two in Europe, and each nation priding itself
  upon the antiquity, beauty, and energy of their own tongue, with
  an avowed contempt for that of their neighbour; yet our emperor,
  standing upon the advantage he had got by the seizure of their
  fleet, obliged them to deliver their credentials, and make their
  speech, in the Lilliputian tongue. And it must be confessed, that
  from the great intercourse of trade and commerce between both
  realms, from the continual reception of exiles which is mutual
  among them, and from the custom, in each empire, to send their
  young nobility and richer gentry to the other, in order to polish
  themselves by seeing the world, and understanding men and
  manners; there are few persons of distinction, or merchants, or
  seamen, who dwell in the maritime parts, but what can hold
  conversation in both tongues; as I found some weeks after, when I
  went to pay my respects to the emperor of Blefuscu, which, in the.
  midst of great misfortunes, through the malice of my enemies,
  proved a very happy adventure to me, as I shall relate in its proper
  place.
  The reader may remember, that when I signed those articles upon
  which I recovered my liberty, there were some which I disliked,
  upon account of their being too servile; neither could anything but
  an extreme necessity have forced me to submit. But being now a
  NARDAC of the highest rank in that empire, such offices were
  looked upon as below my dignity, and the emperor (to do him
  justice), never once mentioned them to me. However, it was not
  long before I had an opportunity of doing his majesty, at least as I
  then thought, a most signal service. I was alarmed at midnight
  with the cries of many hundred people at my door; by which,
  being suddenly awaked, I was in some kind of terror. I heard the
  word BURGLUM repeated incessantly: several of the emperor's
  court, making their way through the crowd, entreated me to come
  immediately to the palace, where her imperial majesty's apartment
  was on fire, by the carelessness of a maid of honour, who fell
  asleep while she was reading a romance. I got up in an instant; and
  orders being given to clear the way before me, and it being
  likewise a moonshine night, I made a shift to get to the palace
  without trampling on any of the people. I found they had already
  applied ladders to the walls of the apartment, and were well
  provided with buckets, but the water was at some distance. These
  buckets were about the size of large thimbles, and the poor people
  supplied me with them as fast as they could: but the flame was so
  violent that they did little good. I might easily have stifled it with
  my coat, which I unfortunately left behind me for haste, and came.
  away only in my leathern jerkin. The case seemed wholly
  desperate and deplorable; and this magnificent palace would have
  infallibly been burnt down to the ground, if, by a presence of mind
  unusual to me, I had not suddenly thought of an expedient. I had,
  the evening before, drunk plentifully of a most delicious wine
  called GLIMIGRIM, (the Blefuscudians call it FLUNEC, but ours
  is esteemed the better sort,) which is very diuretic. By the luckiest
  chance in the world, I had not discharged myself of any part of it.
  The heat I had contracted by coming very near the flames, and by
  labouring to quench them, made the wine begin to operate by
  urine; which I voided in such a quantity, and applied so well to the
  proper places, that in three minutes the fire was wholly
  extinguished, and the rest of that noble pile, which had cost so
  many ages in erecting, preserved from destruction.
  It was now day-light, and I returned to my house without waiting
  to congratulate with the emperor: because, although I had done a
  very eminent piece of service, yet I could not tell how his majesty
  might resent the manner by which I had performed it: for, by the
  fundamental laws of the realm, it is capital in any person, of what
  quality soever, to make water within the precincts of the palace.
  But I was a little comforted by a message from his majesty, "that
  he would give orders to the grand justiciary for passing my pardon
  in form:" which, however, I could not obtain; and I was privately
  assured, "that the empress, conceiving the greatest abhorrence of
  what I had done, removed to the most distant side of the court,
  firmly resolved that those buildings should never be repaired for
  her use: and, in the presence of her chief confidents could not
  forbear vowing revenge."..
  
  
CHAPTER VI.
  
  [Of the inhabitants of Lilliput; their learning, laws, and customs;
  the manner of educating their children. The author's way of living
  in that country. His vindication of a great lady.]
  Although I intend to leave the description of this empire to a
  particular treatise, yet, in the mean time, I am content to gratify
  the curious reader with some general ideas. As the common size
  of the natives is somewhat under six inches high, so there is an
  exact proportion in all other animals, as well as plants and trees:
  for instance, the tallest horses and oxen are between four and five
  inches in height, the sheep an inch and half, more or less: their
  geese about the bigness of a sparrow, and so the several gradations
  downwards till you come to the smallest, which to my sight, were
  almost invisible; but nature has adapted the eyes of the
  Lilliputians to all objects proper for their view: they see with great
  exactness, but at no great distance. And, to show the sharpness of
  their sight towards objects that are near, I have been much pleased
  with observing a cook pulling a lark, which was not so large as a
  common fly; and a young girl threading an invisible needle with
  invisible silk. Their tallest trees are about seven feet high: I mean
  some of those in the great royal park, the tops whereof I could but
  just reach with my fist clenched. The other vegetables are in the
  same proportion; but this I leave to the reader's imagination..
  I shall say but little at present of their learning, which, for many
  ages, has flourished in all its branches among them: but their
  manner of writing is very peculiar, being neither from the left to
  the right, like the Europeans, nor from the right to the left, like the
  Arabians, nor from up to down, like the Chinese, but aslant, from
  one corner of the paper to the other, like ladies in England.
  They bury their dead with their heads directly downward, because
  they hold an opinion, that in eleven thousand moons they are all to
  rise again; in which period the earth (which they conceive to be
  flat) will turn upside down, and by this means they shall, at their
  resurrection, be found ready standing on their feet. The learned
  among them confess the absurdity of this doctrine; but the
  practice still continues, in compliance to the vulgar.
  There are some laws and customs in this empire very peculiar;
  and if they were not so directly contrary to those of my own dear
  country, I should be tempted to say a little in their justification. It
  is only to be wished they were as well executed. The first I shall
  mention, relates to informers. All crimes against the state, are
  punished here with the utmost severity; but, if the person accused
  makes his innocence plainly to appear upon his trial, the accuser is
  immediately put to an ignominious death; and out of his goods or
  lands the innocent person is quadruply recompensed for the loss
  of his time, for the danger he underwent, for the hardship of his
  imprisonment, and for all the charges he has been at in making his
  defence; or, if that fund be deficient, it is largely supplied by the.
  crown. The emperor also confers on him some public mark of his
  favour, and proclamation is made of his innocence through the
  whole city.
  They look upon fraud as a greater crime than theft, and therefore
  seldom fail to punish it with death; for they allege, that care and
  vigilance, with a very common understanding, may preserve a
  man's goods from thieves, but honesty has no defence against
  superior cunning; and, since it is necessary that there should be a
  perpetual intercourse of buying and selling, and dealing upon
  credit, where fraud is permitted and connived at, or has no law to
  punish it, the honest dealer is always undone, and the knave gets
  the advantage. I remember, when I was once interceding with the
  emperor for a criminal who had wronged his master of a great
  sum of money, which he had received by order and ran away with;
  and happening to tell his majesty, by way of extenuation, that it
  was only a breach of trust, the emperor thought it monstrous in me
  to offer as a defence the greatest aggravation of the crime; and
  truly I had little to say in return, farther than the common answer,
  that different nations had different customs; for, I confess, I was
  heartily ashamed. (2)
  Although we usually call reward and punishment the two hinges
  upon which all government turns, yet I could never observe this
  maxim to be put in practice by any nation except that of Lilliput.
  Whoever can there bring sufficient proof, that he has strictly
  observed the laws of his country for seventy-three moons, has a
  claim to certain privileges, according to his quality or condition of
  life, with a proportionable sum of money out of a fund.
  appropriated for that use: he likewise acquires the title of
  SNILPALL, or legal, which is added to his name, but does not
  descend to his posterity. And these people thought it a prodigious
  defect of policy among us, when I told them that our laws were
  enforced only by penalties, without any mention of reward. It is
  upon this account that the image of Justice, in their courts of
  judicature, is formed with six eyes, two before, as many behind,
  and on each side one, to signify circumspection; with a bag of
  gold open in her right hand, and a sword sheathed in her left, to
  show she is more disposed to reward than to punish.
  In choosing persons for all employments, they have more regard
  to good morals than to great abilities; for, since government is
  necessary to mankind, they believe, that the common size of
  human understanding is fitted to some station or other; and that
  Providence never intended to make the management of public
  affairs a mystery to be comprehended only by a few persons of
  sublime genius, of which there seldom are three born in an age:
  but they suppose truth, justice, temperance, and the like, to be in
  every man's power; the practice of which virtues, assisted by
  experience and a good intention, would qualify any man for the
  service of his country, except where a course of study is required.
  But they thought the want of moral virtues was so far from being
  supplied by superior endowments of the mind, that employments
  could never be put into such dangerous hands as those of persons
  so qualified; and, at least, that the mistakes committed by
  ignorance, in a virtuous disposition, would never be of such fatal.
  consequence to the public weal, as the practices of a man, whose
  inclinations led him to be corrupt, and who had great abilities to
  manage, to multiply, and defend his corruptions.
  In like manner, the disbelief of a Divine Providence renders a man
  incapable of holding any public station; for, since kings avow
  themselves to be the deputies of Providence, the Lilliputians think
  nothing can be more absurd than for a prince to employ such men
  as disown the authority under which he acts.
  In relating these and the following laws, I would only be
  understood to mean the original institutions, and not the most
  scandalous corruptions, into which these people are fallen by the
  degenerate nature of man. For, as to that infamous practice of
  acquiring great employments by dancing on the ropes, or badges
  of favour and distinction by leaping over sticks and creeping
  under them, the reader is to observe, that they were first
  introduced by the grandfather of the emperor now reigning, and
  grew to the present height by the gradual increase of party and
  faction.
  Ingratitude is among them a capital crime, as we read it to have
  been in some other countries: for they reason thus; that whoever
  makes ill returns to his benefactor, must needs be a common
  enemy to the rest of mankind, from whom he has received no
  obligation, and therefore such a man is not fit to live..
  Their notions relating to the duties of parents and children differ
  extremely from ours. For, since the conjunction of male and
  female is founded upon the great law of nature, in order to
  propagate and continue the species, the Lilliputians will needs
  have it, that men and women are joined together, like other
  animals, by the motives of concupiscence; and that their
  tenderness towards their young proceeds from the like natural
  principle: for which reason they will never allow that a child is
  under any obligation to his father for begetting him, or to his
  mother for bringing him into the world; which, considering the
  miseries of human life, was neither a benefit in itself, nor intended
  so by his parents, whose thoughts, in their love encounters, were
  otherwise employed. Upon these, and the like reasonings, their
  opinion is, that parents are the last of all others to be trusted with
  the education of their own children; and therefore they have in
  every town public nurseries, where all parents, except cottagers
  and labourers, are obliged to send their infants of both sexes to be
  reared and educated, when they come to the age of twenty moons,
  at which time they are supposed to have some rudiments of
  docility. These schools are of several kinds, suited to different
  qualities, and both sexes. They have certain professors well
  skilled in preparing children for such a condition of life as befits
  the rank of their parents, and their own capacities, as well as
  inclinations. I shall first say something of the male nurseries, and
  then of the female.
  The nurseries for males of noble or eminent birth, are provided
  with grave and learned professors, and their several deputies. The
  clothes and food of the children are plain and simple. They are.
  bred up in the principles of honour, justice, courage, modesty,
  clemency, religion, and love of their country; they are always
  employed in some business, except in the times of eating and
  sleeping, which are very short, and two hours for diversions
  consisting of bodily exercises. They are dressed by men till four
  years of age, and then are obliged to dress themselves, although
  their quality be ever so great; and the women attendant, who are
  aged proportionably to ours at fifty, perform only the most menial
  offices. They are never suffered to converse with servants, but go
  together in smaller or greater numbers to take their diversions, and
  always in the presence of a professor, or one of his deputies;
  whereby they avoid those early bad impressions of folly and vice,
  to which our children are subject.
  Their parents are suffered to see them only twice a year; the visit
  is to last but an hour; they are allowed to kiss the child at meeting
  and parting; but a professor, who always stands by on those
  occasions, will not suffer them to whisper, or use any fondling
  expressions, or bring any presents of toys, sweetmeats, and the
  like.
  The pension from each family for the education and entertainment
  of a child, upon failure of due payment, is levied by the emperor's
  officers.
  The nurseries for children of ordinary gentlemen, merchants,
  traders, and handicrafts, are managed proportionably after the
  same manner; only those designed for trades are put out
  apprentices at eleven years old, whereas those of persons of.
  quality continue in their exercises till fifteen, which answers to
  twenty-one with us: but the confinement is gradually lessened for
  the last three years.
  In the female nurseries, the young girls of quality are educated
  much like the males, only they are dressed by orderly servants of
  their own sex; but always in the presence of a professor or deputy,
  till they come to dress themselves, which is at five years old. And
  if it be found that these nurses ever presume to entertain the girls
  with frightful or foolish stories, or the common follies practised
  by chambermaids among us, they are publicly whipped thrice
  about the city, imprisoned for a year, and banished for life to the
  most desolate part of the country. Thus the young ladies are as
  much ashamed of being cowards and fools as the men, and
  despise all personal ornaments, beyond decency and cleanliness:
  neither did I perceive any difference in their education made by
  their difference of sex, only that the exercises of the females were
  not altogether so robust; and that some rules were given them
  relating to domestic life, and a smaller compass of learning was
  enjoined them: for their maxim is, that among peoples of quality,
  a wife should be always a reasonable and agreeable companion,
  because she cannot always be young. When the girls are twelve
  years old, which among them is the marriageable age, their
  parents or guardians take them home, with great expressions of
  gratitude to the professors, and seldom without tears of the young
  lady and her companions..
  In the nurseries of females of the meaner sort, the children are
  instructed in all kinds of works proper for their sex, and their
  several degrees: those intended for apprentices are dismissed at
  seven years old, the rest are kept to eleven.
  The meaner families who have children at these nurseries, are
  obliged, besides their annual pension, which is as low as possible,
  to return to the steward of the nursery a small monthly share of
  their gettings, to be a portion for the child; and therefore all
  parents are limited in their expenses by the law. For the
  Lilliputians think nothing can be more unjust, than for people, in
  subservience to their own appetites, to bring children into the
  world, and leave the burthen of supporting them on the public. As
  to persons of quality, they give security to appropriate a certain
  sum for each child, suitable to their condition; and these funds are
  always managed with good husbandry and the most exact justice.
  The cottagers and labourers keep their children at home, their
  business being only to till and cultivate the earth, and therefore
  their education is of little consequence to the public:
  but the old and diseased among them, are supported by hospitals;
  for begging is a trade unknown in this empire.
  And here it may, perhaps, divert the curious reader, to give some
  account of my domestics, and my manner of living in this country,
  during a residence of nine months, and thirteen days. Having a
  head mechanically turned, and being likewise forced by necessity,
  I had made for myself a table and chair convenient enough, out of.
  the largest trees in the royal park. Two hundred sempstresses were
  employed to make me shirts, and linen for my bed and table, all of
  the strongest and coarsest kind they could get; which, however,
  they were forced to quilt together in several folds, for the thickest
  was some degrees finer than lawn. Their linen is usually three
  inches wide, and three feet make a piece. The sempstresses took
  my measure as I lay on the ground, one standing at my neck, and
  another at my mid-leg, with a strong cord extended, that each held
  by the end, while a third measured the length of the cord with a
  rule of an inch long. Then they measured my right thumb, and
  desired no more; for by a mathematical computation, that twice
  round the thumb is once round the wrist, and so on to the neck and
  the waist, and by the help of my old shirt, which I displayed on the
  ground before them for a pattern, they fitted me exactly. Three
  hundred tailors were employed in the same manner to make me
  clothes; but they had another contrivance for taking my measure. I
  kneeled down, and they raised a ladder from the ground to my
  neck; upon this ladder one of them mounted, and let fall a plumb-line
  from my collar to the floor, which just answered the length of
  my coat: but my waist and arms I measured myself. When my
  clothes were finished, which was done in my house (for the
  largest of theirs would not have been able to hold them), they
  looked like the patch-work made by the ladies in England, only
  that mine were all of a colour.
  I had three hundred cooks to dress my victuals, in little convenient
  huts built about my house, where they and their families lived,
  and prepared me two dishes a-piece. I took up twenty waiters in
  my hand, and placed them on the table: a hundred more attended.
  below on the ground, some with dishes of meat, and some with
  barrels of wine and other liquors slung on their shoulders; all
  which the waiters above drew up, as I wanted, in a very ingenious
  manner, by certain cords, as we draw the bucket up a well in
  Europe. A dish of their meat was a good mouthful, and a barrel of
  their liquor a reasonable draught. Their mutton yields to ours, but
  their beef is excellent. I have had a sirloin so large, that I have
  been forced to make three bites of it; but this is rare. My servants
  were astonished to see me eat it, bones and all, as in our country
  we do the leg of a lark. Their geese and turkeys I usually ate at a
  mouthful, and I confess they far exceed ours. Of their smaller
  fowl I could take up twenty or thirty at the end of my knife.
  One day his imperial majesty, being informed of my way of
  living, desired "that himself and his royal consort, with the young
  princes of the blood of both sexes, might have the happiness," as
  he was pleased to call it, "of dining with me." They came
  accordingly, and I placed them in chairs of state, upon my table,
  just over against me, with their guards about them. Flimnap, the
  lord high treasurer, attended there likewise with his white staff;
  and I observed he often looked on me with a sour countenance,
  which I would not seem to regard, but ate more than usual, in
  honour to my dear country, as well as to fill the court with
  admiration. I have some private reasons to believe, that this visit
  from his majesty gave Flimnap an opportunity of doing me ill
  offices to his master. That minister had always been my secret
  enemy, though he outwardly caressed me more than was usual to
  the moroseness of his nature. He represented to the emperor "the
  low condition of his treasury; that he was forced to take up money.
  at a great discount; that exchequer bills would not circulate under
  nine per cent. below par; that I had cost his majesty above a
  million and a half of SPRUGS" (their greatest gold coin, about the
  bigness of a spangle) "and, upon the whole, that it would be
  advisable in the emperor to take the first fair occasion of
  dismissing me."
  I am here obliged to vindicate the reputation of an excellent lady,
  who was an innocent sufferer upon my account. The treasurer
  took a fancy to be jealous of his wife, from the malice of some
  evil tongues, who informed him that her grace had taken a violent
  affection for my person; and the court scandal ran for some time,
  that she once came privately to my lodging. This I solemnly
  declare to be a most infamous falsehood, without any grounds,
  further than that her grace was pleased to treat me with all
  innocent marks of freedom and friendship. I own she came often
  to my house, but always publicly, nor ever without three more in
  the coach, who were usually her sister and young daughter, and
  some particular acquaintance; but this was common to many other
  ladies of the court. And I still appeal to my servants round,
  whether they at any time saw a coach at my door, without
  knowing what persons were in it. On those occasions, when a
  servant had given me notice, my custom was to go immediately to
  the door, and, after paying my respects, to take up the coach and
  two horses very carefully in my hands (for, if there were six
  horses, the postillion always unharnessed four,) and place them on
  a table, where I had fixed a movable rim quite round, of five
  inches high, to prevent accidents. And I have often had four
  coaches and horses at once on my table, full of company, while I.
  sat in my chair, leaning my face towards them; and when I was
  engaged with one set, the coachmen would gently drive the others
  round my table. I have passed many an afternoon very agreeably
  in these conversations. But I defy the treasurer, or his two
  informers (I will name them, and let them make the best of it)
  Clustril and Drunlo, to prove that any person ever came to me
  INCOGNITO, except the secretary Reldresal, who was sent by
  express command of his imperial majesty, as I have before related.
  I should not have dwelt so long upon this particular, if it had not
  been a point wherein the reputation of a great lady is so nearly
  concerned, to say nothing of my own; though I then had the
  honour to be a NARDAC, which the treasurer himself is not; for
  all the world knows, that he is only a GLUMGLUM, a title
  inferior by one degree, as that of a marquis is to a duke in
  England; yet I allow he preceded me in right of his post. These
  false informations, which I afterwards came to the knowledge of
  by an accident not proper to mention, made the treasurer show his
  lady for some time an ill countenance, and me a worse; and
  although he was at last undeceived and reconciled to her, yet I lost
  all credit with him, and found my interest decline very fast with
  the emperor himself, who was, indeed, too much governed by that
  favourite..
  
  
CHAPTER VII.
  
  [The author, being informed of a design to accuse him of high-treason,
  makes his escape to Blefuscu. His reception there.]
  Before I proceed to give an account of my leaving this kingdom, it
  may be proper to inform the reader of a private intrigue which had
  been for two months forming against me.
  I had been hitherto, all my life, a stranger to courts, for which I
  was unqualified by the meanness of my condition. I had indeed
  heard and read enough of the dispositions of great princes and
  ministers, but never expected to have found such terrible effects
  of them, in so remote a country, governed, as I thought, by very
  different maxims from those in Europe.
  When I was just preparing to pay my attendance on the emperor
  of Blefuscu, a considerable person at court (to whom I had been
  very serviceable, at a time when he lay under the highest
  displeasure of his imperial majesty) came to my house very
  privately at night, in a close chair, and, without sending his name,
  desired admittance. The chairmen were dismissed; I put the chair,
  with his lordship in it, into my coat-pocket: and, giving orders to a
  trusty servant, to say I was indisposed and gone to sleep, I
  fastened the door of my house, placed the chair on the table,.
  according to my usual custom, and sat down by it. After the
  common salutations were over, observing his lordship's
  countenance full of concern, and inquiring into the reason, he
  desired "I would hear him with patience, in a matter that highly
  concerned my honour and my life." His speech was to the
  following effect, for I took notes of it as soon as he left me:-"
  You are to know," said he, "that several committees of council
  have been lately called, in the most private manner, on your
  account; and it is but two days since his majesty came to a full
  resolution.
  "You are very sensible that Skyresh Bolgolam" (GALBET, or
  high-admiral) "has been your mortal enemy, almost ever since
  your arrival. His original reasons I know not; but his hatred is
  increased since your great success against Blefuscu, by which his
  glory as admiral is much obscured. This lord, in conjunction with
  Flimnap the high-treasurer, whose enmity against you is notorious
  on account of his lady, Limtoc the general, Lalcon the
  chamberlain, and Balmuff the grand justiciary, have prepared
  articles of impeachment against you, for treason and other capital
  crimes."
  This preface made me so impatient, being conscious of my own
  merits and innocence, that I was going to interrupt him; when he
  entreated me to be silent, and thus proceeded:--.
  "Out of gratitude for the favours you have done me, I procured
  information of the whole proceedings, and a copy of the articles;
  wherein I venture my head for your service.
  "'Articles of Impeachment against QUINBUS FLESTRIN, (the
  Man-Mountain.)
  
  
ARTICLE I.
  
  "'Whereas, by a statute made in the reign of his imperial majesty
  Calin Deffar Plune, it is enacted, that, whoever shall make water
  within the precincts of the royal palace, shall be liable to the pains
  and penalties of high-treason; notwithstanding, the said Quinbus
  Flestrin, in open breach of the said law, under colour of
  extinguishing the fire kindled in the apartment of his majesty's
  most dear imperial consort, did maliciously, traitorously, and
  devilishly, by discharge of his urine, put out the said fire kindled
  in the said apartment, lying and being within the precincts of the
  said royal palace, against the statute in that case provided, etc.
  against the duty, etc.
  
  
ARTICLE II.
  
  "'That the said Quinbus Flestrin, having brought the imperial fleet
  of Blefuscu into the royal port, and being afterwards commanded
  by his imperial majesty to seize all the other ships of the said
  empire of Blefuscu, and reduce that empire to a province, to be
  governed by a viceroy from hence, and to destroy and put to
  death, not only all the Big-endian exiles, but likewise all the.
  people of that empire who would not immediately forsake the
  Big-endian heresy, he, the said Flestrin, like a false traitor against
  his most auspicious, serene, imperial majesty, did petition to be
  excused from the said service, upon pretence of unwillingness to
  force the consciences, or destroy the liberties and lives of an
  innocent people.
  
  
ARTICLE III.
  
  "'That, whereas certain ambassadors arrived from the Court of
  Blefuscu, to sue for peace in his majesty's court, he, the said
  Flestrin, did, like a false traitor, aid, abet, comfort, and divert, the
  said ambassadors, although he knew them to be servants to a
  prince who was lately an open enemy to his imperial majesty, and
  in an open war against his said majesty.
  
  
ARTICLE IV.
  
  "'That the said Quinbus Flestrin, contrary to the duty of a faithful
  subject, is now preparing to make a voyage to the court and
  empire of Blefuscu, for which he has received only verbal license
  from his imperial majesty; and, under colour of the said license,
  does falsely and traitorously intend to take the said voyage, and
  thereby to aid, comfort, and abet the emperor of Blefuscu, so
  lately an enemy, and in open war with his imperial majesty
  aforesaid.'
  "There are some other articles; but these are the most important,
  of which I have read you an abstract..
  "In the several debates upon this impeachment, it must be
  confessed that his majesty gave many marks of his great lenity;
  often urging the services you had done him, and endeavouring to
  extenuate your crimes. The treasurer and admiral insisted that you
  should be put to the most painful and ignominious death, by
  setting fire to your house at night, and the general was to attend
  with twenty thousand men, armed with poisoned arrows, to shoot
  you on the face and hands. Some of your servants were to have
  private orders to strew a poisonous juice on your shirts and sheets,
  which would soon make you tear your own flesh, and die in the
  utmost torture. The general came into the same opinion; so that
  for a long time there was a majority against you; but his majesty
  resolving, if possible, to spare your life, at last brought off the
  chamberlain.
  "Upon this incident, Reldresal, principal secretary for private
  affairs, who always approved himself your true friend, was
  commanded by the emperor to deliver his opinion, which he
  accordingly did; and therein justified the good thoughts you have
  of him. He allowed your crimes to be great, but that still there was
  room for mercy, the most commendable virtue in a prince, and for
  which his majesty was so justly celebrated. He said, the friendship
  between you and him was so well known to the world, that
  perhaps the most honourable board might think him partial;
  however, in obedience to the command he had received, he would
  freely offer his sentiments. That if his majesty, in consideration of
  your services, and pursuant to his own merciful disposition,
  would please to spare your life, and only give orders to put out.
  both your eyes, he humbly conceived, that by this expedient
  justice might in some measure be satisfied, and all the world
  would applaud the lenity of the emperor, as well as the fair and
  generous proceedings of those who have the honour to be his
  counsellors. That the loss of your eyes would be no impediment to
  your bodily strength, by which you might still be useful to his
  majesty; that blindness is an addition to courage, by concealing
  dangers from us; that the fear you had for your eyes, was the
  greatest difficulty in bringing over the enemy's fleet, and it would
  be sufficient for you to see by the eyes of the ministers, since the
  greatest princes do no more.
  "This proposal was received with the utmost disapprobation by
  the whole board. Bolgolam, the admiral, could not preserve his
  temper, but, rising up in fury, said, he wondered how the secretary
  durst presume to give his opinion for preserving the life of a
  traitor; that the services you had performed were, by all true
  reasons of state, the great aggravation of your crimes; that you,
  who were able to extinguish the fire by discharge of urine in her
  majesty's apartment (which he mentioned with horror), might, at
  another time, raise an inundation by the same means, to drown the
  whole palace; and the same strength which enabled you to bring
  over the enemy's fleet, might serve, upon the first discontent, to
  carry it back; that he had good reasons to think you were a Big-endian
  in your heart; and, as treason begins in the heart, before it
  appears in overt-acts, so he accused you as a traitor on that
  account, and therefore insisted you should be put to death..
  "The treasurer was of the same opinion: he showed to what straits
  his majesty's revenue was reduced, by the charge of maintaining
  you, which would soon grow insupportable; that the secretary's
  expedient of putting out your eyes, was so far from being a
  remedy against this evil, that it would probably increase it, as is
  manifest from the common practice of blinding some kind of
  fowls, after which they fed the faster, and grew sooner fat; that his
  sacred majesty and the council, who are your judges, were, in
  their own consciences, fully convinced of your guilt, which was a
  sufficient argument to condemn you to death, without the formal
  proofs required by the strict letter of the law.
  "But his imperial majesty, fully determined against capital
  punishment, was graciously pleased to say, that since the council
  thought the loss of your eyes too easy a censure, some other way
  may be inflicted hereafter. And your friend the secretary, humbly
  desiring to be heard again, in answer to what the treasurer had
  objected, concerning the great charge his majesty was at in
  maintaining you, said, that his excellency, who had the sole
  disposal of the emperor's revenue, might easily provide against
  that evil, by gradually lessening your establishment; by which, for
  want of sufficient for you would grow weak and faint, and lose
  your appetite, and consequently, decay, and consume in a few
  months; neither would the stench of your carcass be then so
  dangerous, when it should become more than half diminished; and
  immediately upon your death five or six thousand of his majesty's
  subjects might, in two or three days, cut your flesh from your.
  bones, take it away by cart-loads, and bury it in distant parts, to
  prevent infection, leaving the skeleton as a monument of
  admiration to posterity.
  "Thus, by the great friendship of the secretary, the whole affair
  was compromised. It was strictly enjoined, that the project of
  starving you by degrees should be kept a secret; but the sentence
  of putting out your eyes was entered on the books; none
  dissenting, except Bolgolam the admiral, who, being a creature of
  the empress, was perpetually instigated by her majesty to insist
  upon your death, she having borne perpetual malice against you,
  on account of that infamous and illegal method you took to
  extinguish the fire in her apartment.
  "In three days your friend the secretary will be directed to come to
  your house, and read before you the articles of impeachment; and
  then to signify the great lenity and favour of his majesty and
  council, whereby you are only condemned to the loss of your
  eyes, which his majesty does not question you will gratefully and
  humbly submit to; and twenty of his majesty's surgeons will
  attend, in order to see the operation well performed, by
  discharging very sharp-pointed arrows into the balls of your eyes,
  as you lie on the ground.
  "I leave to your prudence what measures you will take; and to
  avoid suspicion, I must immediately return in as private a manner
  as I came.".
  His lordship did so; and I remained alone, under many doubts and
  perplexities of mind.
  It was a custom introduced by this prince and his ministry (very
  different, as I have been assured, from the practice of former
  times,) that after the court had decreed any cruel execution, either
  to gratify the monarch's resentment, or the malice of a favourite,
  the emperor always made a speech to his whole council,
  expressing his great lenity and tenderness, as qualities known and
  confessed by all the world. This speech was immediately
  published throughout the kingdom; nor did any thing terrify the
  people so much as those encomiums on his majesty's mercy;
  because it was observed, that the more these praises were enlarged
  and insisted on, the more inhuman was the punishment, and the
  sufferer more innocent. Yet, as to myself, I must confess, having
  never been designed for a courtier, either by my birth or
  education, I was so ill a judge of things, that I could not discover
  the lenity and favour of this sentence, but conceived it (perhaps
  erroneously) rather to be rigorous than gentle. I sometimes
  thought of standing my trial, for, although I could not deny the
  facts alleged in the several articles, yet I hoped they would admit
  of some extenuation. But having in my life perused many state-trials,
  which I ever observed to terminate as the judges thought fit
  to direct, I durst not rely on so dangerous a decision, in so critical
  a juncture, and against such powerful enemies. Once I was
  strongly bent upon resistance, for, while I had liberty the whole
  strength of that empire could hardly subdue me, and I might easily
  with stones pelt the metropolis to pieces; but I soon rejected that
  project with horror, by remembering the oath I had made to the.
  emperor, the favours I received from him, and the high title of
  NARDAC he conferred upon me. Neither had I so soon learned
  the gratitude of courtiers, to persuade myself, that his majesty's
  present seventies acquitted me of all past obligations.
  At last, I fixed upon a resolution, for which it is probable I may
  incur some censure, and not unjustly; for I confess I owe the
  preserving of mine eyes, and consequently my liberty, to my own
  great rashness and want of experience; because, if I had then
  known the nature of princes and ministers, which I have since
  observed in many other courts, and their methods of treating
  criminals less obnoxious than myself, I should, with great alacrity
  and readiness, have submitted to so easy a punishment. But
  hurried on by the precipitancy of youth, and having his imperial
  majesty's license to pay my attendance upon the emperor of
  Blefuscu, I took this opportunity, before the three days were
  elapsed, to send a letter to my friend the secretary, signifying my
  resolution of setting out that morning for Blefuscu, pursuant to the
  leave I had got; and, without waiting for an answer, I went to that
  side of the island where our fleet lay. I seized a large man of war,
  tied a cable to the prow, and, lifting up the anchors, I stripped
  myself, put my clothes (together with my coverlet, which I carried
  under my arm) into the vessel, and, drawing it after me, between
  wading and swimming arrived at the royal port of Blefuscu, where
  the people had long expected me: they lent me two guides to
  direct me to the capital city, which is of the same name. I held
  them in my hands, till I came within two hundred yards of the
  gate, and desired them "to signify my arrival to one of the
  secretaries, and let him know, I there waited his majesty's.
  command." I had an answer in about an hour, "that his majesty,
  attended by the royal family, and great officers of the court, was
  coming out to receive me." I advanced a hundred yards. The
  emperor and his train alighted from their horses, the empress and
  ladies from their coaches, and I did not perceive they were in any
  fright or concern. I lay on the ground to kiss his majesty's and the
  empress's hands. I told his majesty, "that I was come according to
  my promise, and with the license of the emperor my master, to
  have the honour of seeing so mighty a monarch, and to offer him
  any service in my power, consistent with my duty to my own
  prince;" not mentioning a word of my disgrace, because I had
  hitherto no regular information of it, and might suppose myself
  wholly ignorant of any such design; neither could I reasonably
  conceive that the emperor would discover the secret, while I was
  out of his power; wherein, however, it soon appeared I was
  deceived.
  I shall not trouble the reader with the particular account of my
  reception at this court, which was suitable to the generosity of so
  great a prince; nor of the difficulties I was in for want of a house
  and bed, being forced to lie on the ground, wrapped up in my
  coverlet..
  
  
CHAPTER VIII.
  
  [The author, by a lucky accident, finds means to leave Blefuscu;
  and, after some difficulties, returns safe to his native country.]
  Three days after my arrival, walking out of curiosity to the north-east
  coast of the island, I observed, about half a league off in the
  sea, somewhat that looked like a boat overturned. I pulled off my
  shoes and stockings, and, wailing two or three hundred yards, I
  found the object to approach nearer by force of the tide; and then
  plainly saw it to be a real boat, which I supposed might by some
  tempest have been driven from a ship. Whereupon, I returned
  immediately towards the city, and desired his imperial majesty to
  lend me twenty of the tallest vessels he had left, after the loss of
  his fleet, and three thousand seamen, under the command of his
  vice-admiral. This fleet sailed round, while I went back the
  shortest way to the coast, where I first discovered the boat. I found
  the tide had driven it still nearer. The seamen were all provided
  with cordage, which I had beforehand twisted to a sufficient
  strength. When the ships came up, I stripped myself, and waded
  till I came within a hundred yards off the boat, after which I was
  forced to swim till I got up to it. The seamen threw me the end of
  the cord, which I fastened to a hole in the fore-part of the boat,
  and the other end to a man of war; but I found all my labour to
  little purpose; for, being out of my depth, I was not able to work..
  In this necessity I was forced to swim behind, and push the boat
  forward, as often as I could, with one of my hands; and the tide
  favouring me, I advanced so far that I could just hold up my chin
  and feel the ground. I rested two or three minutes, and then gave
  the boat another shove, and so on, till the sea was no higher than
  my arm-pits; and now, the most laborious part being over, I took
  out my other cables, which were stowed in one of the ships, and
  fastened them first to the boat, and then to nine of the vessels
  which attended me; the wind being favourable, the seamen towed,
  and I shoved, until we arrived within forty yards of the shore; and,
  waiting till the tide was out, I got dry to the boat, and by the
  assistance of two thousand men, with ropes and engines, I made a
  shift to turn it on its bottom, and found it was but little damaged.
  I shall not trouble the reader with the difficulties I was under, by
  the help of certain paddles, which cost me ten days making, to get
  my boat to the royal port of Blefuscu, where a mighty concourse
  of people appeared upon my arrival, full of wonder at the sight of
  so prodigious a vessel. I told the emperor "that my good fortune
  had thrown this boat in my way, to carry me to some place whence
  I might return into my native country; and begged his majesty's
  orders for getting materials to fit it up, together with his license to
  depart;" which, after some kind expostulations, he was pleased to
  grant.
  I did very much wonder, in all this time, not to have heard of any
  express relating to me from our emperor to the court of Blefuscu.
  But I was afterward given privately to understand, that his
  imperial majesty, never imagining I had the least notice of his.
  designs, believed I was only gone to Blefuscu in performance of
  my promise, according to the license he had given me, which was
  well known at our court, and would return in a few days, when the
  ceremony was ended. But he was at last in pain at my long
  absence; and after consulting with the treasurer and the rest of that
  cabal, a person of quality was dispatched with the copy of the
  articles against me. This envoy had instructions to represent to the
  monarch of Blefuscu, "the great lenity of his master, who was
  content to punish me no farther than with the loss of mine eyes;
  that I had fled from justice; and if I did not return in two hours, I
  should be deprived of my title of NARDAC, and declared a
  traitor." The envoy further added, "that in order to maintain the
  peace and amity between both empires, his master expected that
  his brother of Blefuscu would give orders to have me sent back to
  Lilliput, bound hand and foot, to be punished as a traitor."
  The emperor of Blefuscu, having taken three days to consult,
  returned an answer consisting of many civilities and excuses. He
  said, "that as for sending me bound, his brother knew it was
  impossible; that, although I had deprived him of his fleet, yet he
  owed great obligations to me for many good offices I had done
  him in making the peace. That, however, both their majesties
  would soon be made easy; for I had found a prodigious vessel on
  the shore, able to carry me on the sea, which he had given orders
  to fit up, with my own assistance and direction; and he hoped, in a
  few weeks, both empires would be freed from so insupportable an
  encumbrance.".
  With this answer the envoy returned to Lilliput; and the monarch
  of Blefuscu related to me all that had passed; offering me at the
  same time (but under the strictest confidence) his gracious
  protection, if I would continue in his service; wherein, although I
  believed him sincere, yet I resolved never more to put any
  confidence in princes or ministers, where I could possibly avoid
  it; and therefore, with all due acknowledgments for his favourable
  intentions, I humbly begged to be excused. I told him, "that since
  fortune, whether good or evil, had thrown a vessel in my way, I
  was resolved to venture myself on the ocean, rather than be an
  occasion of difference between two such mighty monarchs."
  Neither did I find the emperor at all displeased; and I discovered,
  by a certain accident, that he was very glad of my resolution, and
  so were most of his ministers.
  These considerations moved me to hasten my departure somewhat
  sooner than I intended; to which the court, impatient to have me
  gone, very readily contributed. Five hundred workmen were
  employed to make two sails to my boat, according to my
  directions, by quilting thirteen folds of their strongest linen
  together. I was at the pains of making ropes and cables, by
  twisting ten, twenty, or thirty of the thickest and strongest of
  theirs. A great stone that I happened to find, after a long search, by
  the sea-shore, served me for an anchor. I had the tallow of three
  hundred cows, for greasing my boat, and other uses. I was at
  incredible pains in cutting down some of the largest timber-trees,
  for oars and masts, wherein I was, however, much assisted by his
  majesty's ship-carpenters, who helped me in smoothing them,
  after I had done the rough work..
  In about a month, when all was prepared, I sent to receive his
  majesty's commands, and to take my leave. The emperor and
  royal family came out of the palace; I lay down on my face to kiss
  his hand, which he very graciously gave me: so did the empress
  and young princes of the blood. His majesty presented me with
  fifty purses of two hundred SPRUGS a-piece, together with his
  picture at full length, which I put immediately into one of my
  gloves, to keep it from being hurt. The ceremonies at my
  departure were too many to trouble the reader with at this time.
  I stored the boat with the carcases of a hundred oxen, and three
  hundred sheep, with bread and drink proportionable, and as much
  meat ready dressed as four hundred cooks could provide. I took
  with me six cows and two bulls alive, with as many ewes and
  rams, intending to carry them into my own country, and propagate
  the breed. And to feed them on board, I had a good bundle of hay,
  and a bag of corn. I would gladly have taken a dozen of the
  natives, but this was a thing the emperor would by no means
  permit; and, besides a diligent search into my pockets, his majesty
  engaged my honour "not to carry away any of his subjects,
  although with their own consent and desire."
  Having thus prepared all things as well as I was able, I set sail on
  the twenty-fourth day of September 1701, at six in the morning;
  and when I had gone about four-leagues to the northward, the
  wind being at south-east, at six in the evening I descried a small
  island, about half a league to the north-west. I advanced forward,
  and cast anchor on the lee-side of the island, which seemed to be.
  uninhabited. I then took some refreshment, and went to my rest. I
  slept well, and as I conjectured at least six hours, for I found the
  day broke in two hours after I awaked. It was a clear night. I ate
  my breakfast before the sun was up; and heaving anchor, the wind
  being favourable, I steered the same course that I had done the day
  before, wherein I was directed by my pocket compass. My
  intention was to reach, if possible, one of those islands. which I
  had reason to believe lay to the north-east of Van Diemen's Land.
  I discovered nothing all that day; but upon the next, about three in
  the afternoon, when I had by my computation made twenty-four
  leagues from Blefuscu, I descried a sail steering to the south-east;
  my course was due east. I hailed her, but could get no answer; yet
  I found I gained upon her, for the wind slackened. I made all the
  sail I could, and in half an hour she spied me, then hung out her
  ancient, and discharged a gun. It is not easy to express the joy I
  was in, upon the unexpected hope of once more seeing my
  beloved country, and the dear pledges I left in it. The ship
  slackened her sails, and I came up with her between five and six in
  the evening, September 26th; but my heart leaped within me to
  see her English colours. I put my cows and sheep into my coat-pockets,
  and got on board with all my little cargo of provisions.
  The vessel was an English merchantman, returning from Japan by
  the North and South seas; the captain, Mr. John Biddel, of
  Deptford, a very civil man, and an excellent sailor.
  We were now in the latitude of 30 degrees south; there were about
  fifty men in the ship; and here I met an old comrade of mine, one
  Peter Williams, who gave me a good character to the captain.
  This gentleman treated me with kindness, and desired I would let.
  him know what place I came from last, and whither I was bound;
  which I did in a few words, but he thought I was raving, and that
  the dangers I underwent had disturbed my head; whereupon I took
  my black cattle and sheep out of my pocket, which, after great
  astonishment, clearly convinced him of my veracity. I then
  showed him the gold given me by the emperor of Blefuscu,
  together with his majesty's picture at full length, and some other
  rarities of that country. I gave him two purses of two hundreds
  SPRUGS each, and promised, when we arrived in England, to
  make him a present of a cow and a sheep big with young.
  I shall not trouble the reader with a particular account of this
  voyage, which was very prosperous for the most part. We arrived
  in the Downs on the 13th of April, 1702. I had only one
  misfortune, that the rats on board carried away one of my sheep; I
  found her bones in a hole, picked clean from the flesh. The rest of
  my cattle I got safe ashore, and set them a-grazing in a bowling-green
  at Greenwich, where the fineness of the grass made them
  feed very heartily, though I had always feared the contrary:
  neither could I possibly have preserved them in so long a voyage,
  if the captain had not allowed me some of his best biscuit, which,
  rubbed to powder, and mingled with water, was their constant
  food. The short time I continued in England, I made a
  considerable profit by showing my cattle to many persons of
  quality and others: and before I began my second voyage, I sold
  them for six hundred pounds. Since my last return I find the breed.
  is considerably increased, especially the sheep, which I hope will
  prove much to the advantage of the woollen manufacture, by the
  fineness of the fleeces.
  I stayed but two months with my wife and family, for my
  insatiable desire of seeing foreign countries, would suffer me to
  continue no longer. I left fifteen hundred pounds with my wife,
  and fixed her in a good house at Redriff. My remaining stock I
  carried with me, part in money and part in goods, in hopes to
  improve my fortunes. My eldest uncle John had left me an estate
  in land, near Epping, of about thirty pounds a year; and I had a
  long lease of the Black Bull in Fetter-Lane, which yielded me as
  much more; so that I was not in any danger of leaving my family
  upon the parish. My son Johnny, named so after his uncle, was at
  the grammar-school, and a towardly child. My daughter Betty
  (who is now well married, and has children) was then at her
  needle-work. I took leave of my wife, and boy and girl, with tears
  on both sides, and went on board the Adventure, a merchant ship
  of three hundred tons, bound for Surat, captain John Nicholas, of
  Liverpool, commander. But my account of this voyage must be
  referred to the Second Part of my Travels..
  
  
 * PART II. A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG * 
  
  
CHAPTER I.
  
  [A great storm described; the long boat sent to fetch water; the
  author goes with it to discover the country. He is left on shore, is
  seized by one of the natives, and carried to a farmer's house. His
  reception, with several accidents that happened there.
  A description of the inhabitants.]
  Having been condemned, by nature and fortune, to active and
  restless life, in two months after my return, I again left my native
  country, and took shipping in the Downs, on the 20th day of June,
  1702, in the Adventure, Captain John Nicholas, a Cornish man,
  commander, bound for Surat. We had a very prosperous gale, till
  we arrived at the Cape of Good Hope, where we landed for fresh
  water; but discovering a leak, we unshipped our goods and
  wintered there; for the captain falling sick of an ague, we could
  not leave the Cape till the end of March. We then set sail, and had
  a good voyage till we passed the Straits of Madagascar; but
  having got northward of that island, and to about five degrees
  south latitude, the winds, which in those seas are observed to blow
  a constant equal gale between the north and west, from the
  beginning of December to the beginning of May, on the 19th of
  April began to blow with much greater violence, and more
  westerly than usual, continuing so for twenty days together:.
  during which time, we were driven a little to the east of the
  Molucca Islands, and about three degrees northward of the line, as
  our captain found by an observation he took the 2nd of May, at
  which time the wind ceased, and it was a perfect calm, whereat I
  was not a little rejoiced. But he, being a man well experienced in
  the navigation of those seas, bid us all prepare against a storm,
  which accordingly happened the day following: for the southern
  wind, called the southern monsoon, began to set in.
  Finding it was likely to overblow, we took in our sprit-sail, and
  stood by to hand the fore-sail; but making foul weather, we looked
  the guns were all fast, and handed the mizen. The ship lay very
  broad off, so we thought it better spooning before the sea, than
  trying or hulling. We reefed the fore-sail and set him, and hauled
  aft the fore-sheet; the helm was hard a-weather. The ship wore
  bravely. We belayed the fore down-haul; but the sail was split, and
  we hauled down the yard, and got the sail into the ship, and
  unbound all the things clear of it. It was a very fierce storm; the
  sea broke strange and dangerous. We hauled off upon the laniard
  of the whip-staff, and helped the man at the helm. We would not
  get down our topmast, but let all stand, because she scudded
  before the sea very well, and we knew that the top-mast being
  aloft, the ship was the wholesomer, and made better way through
  the sea, seeing we had sea-room. When the storm was over, we set
  fore-sail and main-sail, and brought the ship to. Then we set the
  mizen, main-top-sail, and the fore-top-sail. Our course was east-north-
  east, the wind was at south-west. We got the starboard tacks
  aboard, we cast off our weather-braces and lifts; we set in the lee-.
  braces, and hauled forward by the weather-bowlings, and hauled
  them tight, and belayed them, and hauled over the mizen tack to
  windward, and kept her full and by as near as she would lie.
  During this storm, which was followed by a strong wind west-south-
  west, we were carried, by my computation, about five
  hundred leagues to the east, so that the oldest sailor on board
  could not tell in what part of the world we were. Our provisions
  held out well, our ship was staunch, and our crew all in good
  health; but we lay in the utmost distress for water. We thought it
  best to hold on the same course, rather than turn more northerly,
  which might have brought us to the north-west part of Great
  Tartary, and into the Frozen Sea.
  On the 16th day of June, 1703, a boy on the top-mast discovered
  land. On the 17th, we came in full view of a great island, or
  continent (for we knew not whether;) on the south side whereof
  was a small neck of land jutting out into the sea, and a creek too
  shallow to hold a ship of above one hundred tons. We cast anchor
  within a league of this creek, and our captain sent a dozen of his
  men well armed in the long-boat, with vessels for water, if any
  could be found. I desired his leave to go with them, that I might
  see the country, and make what discoveries I could. When we
  came to land we saw no river or spring, nor any sign of
  inhabitants. Our men therefore wandered on the shore to find out
  some fresh water near the sea, and I walked alone about a mile on
  the other side, where I observed the country all barren and rocky. I
  now began to be weary, and seeing nothing to entertain my
  curiosity, I returned gently down towards the creek; and the sea.
  being full in my view, I saw our men already got into the boat, and
  rowing for life to the ship. I was going to halloo after them,
  although it had been to little purpose, when I observed a huge
  creature walking after them in the sea, as fast as he could: he
  waded not much deeper than his knees, and took prodigious
  strides: but our men had the start of him half a league, and, the sea
  thereabouts being full of sharp-pointed rocks, the monster was not
  able to overtake the boat. This I was afterwards told, for I durst
  not stay to see the issue of the adventure; but ran as fast as I could
  the way I first went, and then climbed up a steep hill, which gave
  me some prospect of the country. I found it fully cultivated; but
  that which first surprised me was the length of the grass, which, in
  those grounds that seemed to be kept for hay, was about twenty
  feet high.
  I fell into a high road, for so I took it to be, though it served to the
  inhabitants only as a foot-path through a field of barley. Here I
  walked on for some time, but could see little on either side, it
  being now near harvest, and the corn rising at least forty feet. I
  was an hour walking to the end of this field, which was fenced in
  with a hedge of at least one hundred and twenty feet high, and the
  trees so lofty that I could make no computation of their altitude.
  There was a stile to pass from this field into the next. It had four
  steps, and a stone to cross over when you came to the uppermost.
  It was impossible for me to climb this stile, because every step
  was six-feet high, and the upper stone about twenty. I was
  endeavouring to find some gap in the hedge, when I discovered
  one of the inhabitants in the next field, advancing towards the
  stile, of the same size with him whom I saw in the sea pursuing.
  our boat. He appeared as tall as an ordinary spire steeple, and took
  about ten yards at every stride, as near as I could guess. I was
  struck with the utmost fear and astonishment, and ran to hide
  myself in the corn, whence I saw him at the top of the stile looking
  back into the next field on the right hand, and heard him call in a
  voice many degrees louder than a speaking-trumpet: but the noise
  was so high in the air, that at first I certainly thought it was
  thunder. Whereupon seven monsters, like himself, came towards
  him with reaping-hooks in their hands, each hook about the
  largeness of six scythes. These people were not so well clad as the
  first, whose servants or labourers they seemed to be; for, upon
  some words he spoke, they went to reap the corn in the field
  where I lay. I kept from them at as great a distance as I could, but
  was forced to move with extreme difficulty, for the stalks of the
  corn were sometimes not above a foot distant, so that I could
  hardly squeeze my body betwixt them. However, I made a shift to
  go forward, till I came to a part of the field where the corn had
  been laid by the rain and wind. Here it was impossible for me to
  advance a step; for the stalks were so interwoven, that I could not
  creep through, and the beards of the fallen ears so strong and
  pointed, that they pierced through my clothes into my flesh. At
  the same time I heard the reapers not a hundred yards behind me.
  Being quite dispirited with toil, and wholly overcome by grief and
  dispair, I lay down between two ridges, and heartily wished I
  might there end my days. I bemoaned my desolate widow and
  fatherless children. I lamented my own folly and wilfulness, in
  attempting a second voyage, against the advice of all my friends
  and relations. In this terrible agitation of mind, I could not forbear
  thinking of Lilliput, whose inhabitants looked upon me as the.
  greatest prodigy that ever appeared in the world; where I was able
  to draw an imperial fleet in my hand, and perform those other
  actions, which will be recorded for ever in the chronicles of that
  empire, while posterity shall hardly believe them, although
  attested by millions. I reflected what a mortification it must prove
  to me, to appear as inconsiderable in this nation, as one single
  Lilliputian would be among us. But this I conceived was to be the
  least of my misfortunes; for, as human creatures are observed to
  be more savage and cruel in proportion to their bulk, what could I
  expect but to be a morsel in the mouth of the first among these
  enormous barbarians that should happen to seize me?
  Undoubtedly philosophers are in the right, when they tell us that
  nothing is great or little otherwise than by comparison. It might
  have pleased fortune, to have let the Lilliputians find some nation,
  where the people were as diminutive with respect to them, as they
  were to me. And who knows but that even this prodigious race of
  mortals might be equally overmatched in some distant part of the
  world, whereof we have yet no discovery.
  Scared and confounded as I was, I could not forbear going on with
  these reflections, when one of the reapers, approaching within ten
  yards of the ridge where I lay, made me apprehend that with the
  next step I should be squashed to death under his foot, or cut in
  two with his reaping-hook. And therefore, when he was again
  about to move, I screamed as loud as fear could make me:
  whereupon the huge creature trod short, and, looking round about
  under him for some time, at last espied me as I lay on the ground.
  He considered awhile, with the caution of one who endeavours to
  lay hold on a small dangerous animal in such a manner that it shall.
  not be able either to scratch or bite him, as I myself have
  sometimes done with a weasel in England. At length he ventured
  to take me behind, by the middle, between his fore-finger and
  thumb, and brought me within three yards of his eyes, that he
  might behold my shape more perfectly. I guessed his meaning,
  and my good fortune gave me so much presence of mind, that I
  resolved not to struggle in the least as he held me in the air above
  sixty feet from the ground, although he grievously pinched my
  sides, for fear I should slip through his fingers. All I ventured was
  to raise mine eyes towards the sun, and place my hands together in
  a supplicating posture, and to speak some words in a humble
  melancholy tone, suitable to the condition I then was in: for I
  apprehended every moment that he would dash me against the
  ground, as we usually do any little hateful animal, which we have
  a mind to destroy. But my good star would have it, that he
  appeared pleased with my voice and gestures, and began to look
  upon me as a curiosity, much wondering to hear me pronounce
  articulate words, although he could not understand them. In the
  mean time I was not able to forbear groaning and shedding tears,
  and turning my head towards my sides; letting him know, as well
  as I could, how cruelly I was hurt by the pressure of his thumb and
  finger. He seemed to apprehend my meaning; for, lifting up the
  lappet of his coat, he put me gently into it, and immediately ran
  along with me to his master, who was a substantial farmer, and the
  same person I had first seen in the field.
  The farmer having (as I suppose by their talk) received such an
  account of me as his servant could give him, took a piece of a
  small straw, about the size of a walking-staff, and therewith lifted.
  up the lappets of my coat; which it seems he thought to be some
  kind of covering that nature had given me. He blew my hairs aside
  to take a better view of my face. He called his hinds about him,
  and asked them, as I afterwards learned, whether they had ever
  seen in the fields any little creature that resembled me. He then
  placed me softly on the ground upon all fours, but I got
  immediately up, and walked slowly backward and forward, to let
  those people see I had no intent to run away. They all sat down in
  a circle about me, the better to observe my motions. I pulled off
  my hat, and made a low bow towards the farmer. I fell on my
  knees, and lifted up my hands and eyes, and spoke several words
  as loud as I could: I took a purse of gold out of my pocket, and
  humbly presented it to him. He received it on the palm of his
  hand, then applied it close to his eye to see what it was, and
  afterwards turned it several times with the point of a pin (which he
  took out of his sleeve,) but could make nothing of it. Whereupon I
  made a sign that he should place his hand on the ground. I then
  took the purse, and, opening it, poured all the gold into his palm.
  There were six Spanish pieces of four pistoles each, beside twenty
  or thirty smaller coins. I saw him wet the tip of his little finger
  upon his tongue, and take up one of my largest pieces, and then
  another; but he seemed to be wholly ignorant what they were. He
  made me a sign to put them again into my purse, and the purse
  again into my pocket, which, after offering it to him several times,
  I thought it best to do.
  The farmer, by this time, was convinced I must be a rational
  creature. He spoke often to me; but the sound of his voice pierced
  my ears like that of a water-mill, yet his words were articulate.
  enough. I answered as loud as I could in several languages, and he
  often laid his ear within two yards of me: but all in vain, for we
  were wholly unintelligible to each other. He then sent his servants
  to their work, and taking his handkerchief out of his pocket, he
  doubled and spread it on his left hand, which he placed flat on the
  ground with the palm upward, making me a sign to step into it, as
  I could easily do, for it was not above a foot in thickness. I
  thought it my part to obey, and, for fear of falling, laid myself at
  full length upon the handkerchief, with the remainder of which he
  lapped me up to the head for further security, and in this manner
  carried me home to his house. There he called his wife, and
  showed me to her; but she screamed and ran back, as women in
  England do at the sight of a toad or a spider. However, when she
  had a while seen my behaviour, and how well I observed the signs
  her husband made, she was soon reconciled, and by degrees grew
  extremely tender of me.
  It was about twelve at noon, and a servant brought in dinner. It
  was only one substantial dish of meat (fit for the plain condition
  of a husbandman,) in a dish of about four-and-twenty feet
  diameter. The company were, the farmer and his wife, three
  children, and an old grandmother. When they were sat down, the
  farmer placed me at some distance from him on the table, which
  was thirty feet high from the floor. I was in a terrible fright, and
  kept as far as I could from the edge, for fear of falling. The wife
  minced a bit of meat, then crumbled some bread on a trencher, and
  placed it before me. I made her a low bow, took out my knife and
  fork, and fell to eat, which gave them exceeding delight. The
  mistress sent her maid for a small dram cup, which held about two.
  gallons, and filled it with drink; I took up the vessel with much
  difficulty in both hands, and in a most respectful manner drank to
  her ladyship's health, expressing the words as loud as I could in
  English, which made the company laugh so heartily, that I was
  almost deafened with the noise. This liquor tasted like a small
  cider, and was not unpleasant. Then the master made me a sign to
  come to his trencher side; but as I walked on the table, being in
  great surprise all the time, as the indulgent reader will easily
  conceive and excuse, I happened to stumble against a crust, and
  fell flat on my face, but received no hurt. I got up immediately,
  and observing the good people to be in much concern, I took my
  hat (which I held under my arm out of good manners,) and waving
  it over my head, made three huzzas, to show I had got no mischief
  by my fall. But advancing forward towards my master (as I shall
  henceforth call him,) his youngest son, who sat next to him, an
  arch boy of about ten years old, took me up by the legs, and held
  me so high in the air, that I trembled every limb: but his father
  snatched me from him, and at the same time gave him such a box
  on the left ear, as would have felled an European troop of horse to
  the earth, ordering him to be taken from the table. But being afraid
  the boy might owe me a spite, and well remembering how
  mischievous all children among us naturally are to sparrows,
  rabbits, young kittens, and puppy dogs, I fell on my knees, and
  pointing to the boy, made my master to understand, as well as I
  could, that I desired his son might be pardoned. The father
  complied, and the lad took his seat again, whereupon I went to
  him, and kissed his hand, which my master took, and made him
  stroke me gently with it..
  In the midst of dinner, my mistress's favourite cat leaped into her
  lap. I heard a noise behind me like that of a dozen stocking-weavers
  at work; and turning my head, I found it proceeded from
  the purring of that animal, who seemed to be three times larger
  than an ox, as I computed by the view of her head, and one of her
  paws, while her mistress was feeding and stroking her. The
  fierceness of this creature's countenance altogether discomposed
  me; though I stood at the farther end of the table, above fifty feet
  off; and although my mistress held her fast, for fear she might
  give a spring, and seize me in her talons. But it happened there
  was no danger, for the cat took not the least notice of me when my
  master placed me within three yards of her. And as I have been
  always told, and found true by experience in my travels, that
  flying or discovering fear before a fierce animal, is a certain way
  to make it pursue or attack you, so I resolved, in this dangerous
  juncture, to show no manner of concern. I walked with intrepidity
  five or six times before the very head of the cat, and came within
  half a yard of her; whereupon she drew herself back, as if she
  were more afraid of me: I had less apprehension concerning the
  dogs, whereof three or four came into the room, as it is usual in
  farmers' houses; one of which was a mastiff, equal in bulk to four
  elephants, and another a greyhound, somewhat taller than the
  mastiff, but not so large.
  When dinner was almost done, the nurse came in with a child of a
  year old in her arms, who immediately spied me, and began a
  squall that you might have heard from London-Bridge to Chelsea,
  after the usual oratory of infants, to get me for a plaything. The
  mother, out of pure indulgence, took me up, and put me towards.
  the child, who presently seized me by the middle, and got my
  head into his mouth, where I roared so loud that the urchin was
  frighted, and let me drop, and I should infallibly have broke my
  neck, if the mother had not held her apron under me. The nurse, to
  quiet her babe, made use of a rattle which was a kind of hollow
  vessel filled with great stones, and fastened by a cable to the
  child's waist: but all in vain; so that she was forced to apply the
  last remedy by giving it suck. I must confess no object ever
  disgusted me so much as the sight of her monstrous breast, which
  I cannot tell what to compare with, so as to give the curious reader
  an idea of its bulk, shape, and colour. It stood prominent six feet,
  and could not be less than sixteen in circumference. The nipple
  was about half the bigness of my head, and the hue both of that
  and the dug, so varied with spots, pimples, and freckles, that
  nothing could appear more nauseous: for I had a near sight of her,
  she sitting down, the more conveniently to give suck, and I
  standing on the table. This made me reflect upon the fair skins of
  our English ladies, who appear so beautiful to us, only because
  they are of our own size, and their defects not to be seen but
  through a magnifying glass; where we find by experiment that the
  smoothest and whitest skins look rough, and coarse, and ill-coloured.
  I remember when I was at Lilliput, the complexion of those
  diminutive people appeared to me the fairest in the world; and
  talking upon this subject with a person of learning there, who was
  an intimate friend of mine, he said that my face appeared much
  fairer and smoother when he looked on me from the ground, than
  it did upon a nearer view, when I took him up in my hand, and.
  brought him close, which he confessed was at first a very
  shocking sight. He said, "he could discover great holes in my skin;
  that the stumps of my beard were ten times stronger than the
  bristles of a boar, and my complexion made up of several colours
  altogether disagreeable:" although I must beg leave to say for
  myself, that I am as fair as most of my sex and country, and very
  little sunburnt by all my travels. On the other side, discoursing of
  the ladies in that emperor's court, he used to tell me, "one had
  freckles; another too wide a mouth; a third too large a nose;"
  nothing of which I was able to distinguish. I confess this reflection
  was obvious enough; which, however, I could not forbear, lest the
  reader might think those vast creatures were actually deformed:
  for I must do them the justice to say, they are a comely race of
  people, and particularly the features of my master's countenance,
  although he was but a farmer, when I beheld him from the height
  of sixty feet, appeared very well proportioned.
  When dinner was done, my master went out to his labourers, and,
  as I could discover by his voice and gesture, gave his wife strict
  charge to take care of me. I was very much tired, and disposed to
  sleep, which my mistress perceiving, she put me on her own bed,
  and covered me with a clean white handkerchief, but larger and
  coarser than the mainsail of a man-of-war.
  I slept about two hours, and dreamt I was at home with my wife
  and children, which aggravated my sorrows when I awaked, and
  found myself alone in a vast room, between two and three
  hundred feet wide, and above two hundred high, lying in a bed
  twenty yards wide. My mistress was gone about her household.
  affairs, and had locked me in. The bed was eight yards from the
  floor. Some natural necessities required me to get down; I durst
  not presume to call; and if I had, it would have been in vain, with
  such a voice as mine, at so great a distance from the room where I
  lay to the kitchen where the family kept. While I was under these
  circumstances, two rats crept up the curtains, and ran smelling
  back-wards and forwards on the bed. One of them came up almost
  to my face, whereupon I rose in a fright, and drew out my hanger
  to defend myself. These horrible animals had the boldness to
  attack me on both sides, and one of them held his fore-feet at my
  collar; but I had the good fortune to rip up his belly before he
  could do me any mischief. He fell down at my feet; and the other,
  seeing the fate of his comrade, made his escape, but not without
  one good wound on the back, which I gave him as he fled, and
  made the blood run trickling from him. After this exploit, I
  walked gently to and fro on the bed, to recover my breath and loss
  of spirits. These creatures were of the size of a large mastiff, but
  infinitely more nimble and fierce; so that if I had taken off my belt
  before I went to sleep, I must have infallibly been torn to pieces
  and devoured. I measured the tail of the dead rat, and found it to
  be two yards long, wanting an inch; but it went against my
  stomach to drag the carcass off the bed, where it lay still bleeding;
  I observed it had yet some life, but with a strong slash across the
  neck, I thoroughly despatched it.
  Soon after my mistress came into the room, who seeing me all
  bloody, ran and took me up in her hand. I pointed to the dead rat,
  smiling, and making other signs to show I was not hurt; whereat
  she was extremely rejoiced, calling the maid to take up the dead.
  rat with a pair of tongs, and throw it out of the window. Then she
  set me on a table, where I showed her my hanger all bloody, and
  wiping it on the lappet of my coat, returned it to the scabbard. I
  was pressed to do more than one thing which another could not do
  for me, and therefore endeavoured to make my mistress
  understand, that I desired to be set down on the floor; which after
  she had done, my bashfulness would not suffer me to express
  myself farther, than by pointing to the door, and bowing several
  times. The good woman, with much difficulty, at last perceived
  what I would be at, and taking me up again in her hand, walked
  into the garden, where she set me down. I went on one side about
  two hundred yards, and beckoning to her not to look or to follow
  me, I hid myself between two leaves of sorrel, and there
  discharged the necessities of nature.
  I hope the gentle reader will excuse me for dwelling on these and
  the like particulars, which, however insignificant they may appear
  to groveling vulgar minds, yet will certainly help a philosopher to
  enlarge his thoughts and imagination, and apply them to the
  benefit of public as well as private life, which was my sole design
  in presenting this and other accounts of my travels to the world;
  wherein I have been chiefly studious of truth, without affecting
  any ornaments of learning or of style. But the whole scene of this
  voyage made so strong an impression on my mind, and is so
  deeply fixed in my memory, that, in committing it to paper I did
  not omit one material circumstance: however, upon a strict
  review, I blotted out several passages. Of less moment which.
  were in my first copy, for fear of being censured as tedious and
  trifling, whereof travellers are often, perhaps not without justice,
  accused..
  
  
CHAPTER II.
  
  [A description of the farmer's daughter. The author carried to a
  market-town, and then to the metropolis. The particulars of his
  journey.]
  My mistress had a daughter of nine years old, a child of towardly
  parts for her age, very dexterous at her needle, and skilful in
  dressing her baby. Her mother and she contrived to fit up the
  baby's cradle for me against night: the cradle was put into a small
  drawer of a cabinet, and the drawer placed upon a hanging shelf
  for fear of the rats. This was my bed all the time I staid with those
  people, though made more convenient by degrees, as I began to
  learn their language and make my wants known. This young girl
  was so handy, that after I had once or twice pulled off my clothes
  before her, she was able to dress and undress me, though I never
  gave her that trouble when she would let me do either myself. She
  made me seven shirts, and some other linen, of as fine cloth as
  could be got, which indeed was coarser than sackcloth; and these
  she constantly washed for me with her own hands. She was
  likewise my school-mistress, to teach me the language: when I
  pointed to any thing, she told me the name of it in her own tongue,
  so that in a few days I was able to call for whatever I had a mind
  to. She was very good-natured, and not above forty feet high,
  being little for her age. She gave me the name of GRILDRIG,.
  which the family took up, and afterwards the whole kingdom. The
  word imports what the Latins call NANUNCULUS, the Italians
  HOMUNCELETINO, and the English MANNIKIN. To her I
  chiefly owe my preservation in that country: we never parted
  while I was there; I called her my GLUMDALCLITCH, or little
  nurse; and should be guilty of great ingratitude, if I omitted this
  honourable mention of her care and affection towards me, which I
  heartily wish it lay in my power to requite as she deserves, instead
  of being the innocent, but unhappy instrument of her disgrace, as I
  have too much reason to fear.
  It now began to be known and talked of in the neighbourhood, that
  my master had found a strange animal in the field, about the
  bigness of a SPLACNUCK, but exactly shaped in every part like a
  human creature; which it likewise imitated in all its actions;
  seemed to speak in a little language of its own, had already
  learned several words of theirs, went erect upon two legs, was
  tame and gentle, would come when it was called, do whatever it
  was bid, had the finest limbs in the world, and a complexion fairer
  than a nobleman's daughter of three years old. Another farmer,
  who lived hard by, and was a particular friend of my master, came
  on a visit on purpose to inquire into the truth of this story. I was
  immediately produced, and placed upon a table, where I walked
  as I was commanded, drew my hanger, put it up again, made my
  reverence to my master's guest, asked him in his own language
  how he did, and told him HE WAS WELCOME, just as my little
  nurse had instructed me. This man, who was old and dim-sighted,
  put on his spectacles to behold me better; at which I could not
  forbear laughing very heartily, for his eyes appeared like the full.
  moon shining into a chamber at two windows. Our people, who
  discovered the cause of my mirth, bore me company in laughing,
  at which the old fellow was fool enough to be angry and out of
  countenance. He had the character of a great miser; and, to my
  misfortune, he well deserved it, by the cursed advice he gave my
  master, to show me as a sight upon a market-day in the next town,
  which was half an hour's riding, about two-and-twenty miles from
  our house. I guessed there was some mischief when I observed my
  master and his friend whispering together, sometimes pointing at
  me; and my fears made me fancy that I overheard and understood
  some of their words. But the next morning Glumdalclitch, my
  little nurse, told me the whole matter, which she had cunningly
  picked out from her mother. The poor girl laid me on her bosom,
  and fell a weeping with shame and grief. She apprehended some
  mischief would happen to me from rude vulgar folks, who might
  squeeze me to death, or break one of my limbs by taking me in
  their hands. She had also observed how modest I was in my
  nature, how nicely I regarded my honour, and what an indignity I
  should conceive it, to be exposed for money as a public spectacle,
  to the meanest of the people. She said, her papa and mamma had
  promised that Grildrig should be hers; but now she found they
  meant to serve her as they did last year, when they pretended to
  give her a lamb, and yet, as soon as it was fat, sold it to a butcher.
  For my own part, I may truly affirm, that I was less concerned
  than my nurse. I had a strong hope, which never left me, that I
  should one day recover my liberty: and as to the ignominy of
  being carried about for a monster, I considered myself to be a
  perfect stranger in the country, and that such a misfortune could.
  never be charged upon me as a reproach, if ever I should return to
  England, since the king of Great Britain himself, in my condition,
  must have undergone the same distress.
  My master, pursuant to the advice of his friend, carried me in a
  box the next market-day to the neighbouring town, and took along
  with him his little daughter, my nurse, upon a pillion behind him.
  The box was close on every side, with a little door for me to go in
  and out, and a few gimlet holes to let in air. The girl had been so
  careful as to put the quilt of her baby's bed into it, for me to lie
  down on. However, I was terribly shaken and discomposed in this
  journey, though it was but of half an hour: for the horse went
  about forty feet at every step and trotted so high, that the agitation
  was equal to the rising and falling of a ship in a great storm, but
  much more frequent. Our journey was somewhat farther than
  from London to St. Alban's. My master alighted at an inn which
  he used to frequent; and after consulting awhile with the inn-keeper,
  and making some necessary preparations, he hired the
  GRULTRUD, or crier, to give notice through the town of a strange
  creature to be seen at the sign of the Green Eagle, not so big as a
  SPLACNUCK (an animal in that country very finely shaped,
  about six feet long,) and in every part of the body resembling a
  human creature, could speak several words, and perform a
  hundred diverting tricks.
  I was placed upon a table in the largest room of the inn, which
  might be near three hundred feet square. My little nurse stood on a
  low stool close to the table, to take care of me, and direct what I
  should do. My master, to avoid a crowd, would suffer only thirty.
  people at a time to see me. I walked about on the table as the girl
  commanded; she asked me questions, as far as she knew my
  understanding of the language reached, and I answered them as
  loud as I could. I turned about several times to the company, paid
  my humble respects, said THEY WERE WELCOME, and used
  some other speeches I had been taught. I took up a thimble filled
  with liquor, which Glumdalclitch had given me for a cup, and
  drank their health, I drew out my hanger, and flourished with it
  after the manner of fencers in England. My nurse gave me a part
  of a straw, which I exercised as a pike, having learnt the art in my
  youth. I was that day shown to twelve sets of company, and as
  often forced to act over again the same fopperies, till I was half
  dead with weariness and vexation; for those who had seen me
  made such wonderful reports, that the people were ready to break
  down the doors to come in. My master, for his own interest, would
  not suffer any one to touch me except my nurse; and to prevent
  danger, benches were set round the table at such a distance as to
  put me out of every body's reach. However, an unlucky school-boy
  aimed a hazel nut directly at my head, which very narrowly
  missed me; otherwise it came with so much violence, that it would
  have infallibly knocked out my brains, for it was almost as large
  as a small pumpkin, but I had the satisfaction to see the young
  rogue well beaten, and turned out of the room.
  My master gave public notice that he would show me again the
  next market-day; and in the meantime he prepared a convenient
  vehicle for me, which he had reason enough to do; for I was so
  tired with my first journey, and with entertaining company for
  eight hours together, that I could hardly stand upon my legs, or.
  speak a word. It was at least three days before I recovered my
  strength; and that I might have no rest at home, all the
  neighbouring gentlemen from a hundred miles round, hearing of
  my fame, came to see me at my master's own house. There could
  not be fewer than thirty persons with their wives and children (for
  the country is very populous;) and my master demanded the rate
  of a full room whenever he showed me at home, although it were
  only to a single family; so that for some time I had but little ease
  every day of the week (except Wednesday, which is their
  Sabbath,) although I were not carried to the town.
  My master, finding how profitable I was likely to be, resolved to
  carry me to the most considerable cities of the kingdom. Having
  therefore provided himself with all things necessary for a long
  journey, and settled his affairs at home, he took leave of his wife,
  and upon the 17th of August, 1703, about two months after my
  arrival, we set out for the metropolis, situate near the middle of
  that empire, and about three thousand miles distance from our
  house. My master made his daughter Glumdalclitch ride behind
  him. She carried me on her lap, in a box tied about her waist. The
  girl had lined it on all sides with the softest cloth she could get,
  well quilted underneath, furnished it with her baby's bed, provided
  me with linen and other necessaries, and made everything as
  convenient as she could. We had no other company but a boy of
  the house, who rode after us with the luggage.
  My master's design was to show me in all the towns by the way,
  and to step out of the road for fifty or a hundred miles, to any
  village, or person of quality's house, where he might expect.
  custom. We made easy journeys, of not above seven or eight score
  miles a-day; for Glumdalclitch, on purpose to spare me,
  complained she was tired with the trotting of the horse. She often
  took me out of my box, at my own desire, to give me air, and
  show me the country, but always held me fast by a leading-string.
  We passed over five or six rivers, many degrees broader and
  deeper than the Nile or the Ganges: and there was hardly a rivulet
  so small as the Thames at London-bridge. We were ten weeks in
  our journey, and I was shown in eighteen large towns, besides
  many villages, and private families.
  On the 26th day of October we arrived at the metropolis, called in
  their language LORBRULGRUD, or Pride of the Universe. My
  master took a lodging in the principal street of the city, not far
  from the royal palace, and put out bills in the usual form,
  containing an exact description of my person and parts. He hired a
  large room between three and four hundred feet wide. He
  provided a table sixty feet in diameter, upon which I was to act my
  part, and pallisadoed it round three feet from the edge, and as
  many high, to prevent my falling over. I was shown ten times a-day,
  to the wonder and satisfaction of all people. I could now
  speak the language tolerably well, and perfectly understood every
  word, that was spoken to me. Besides, I had learnt their alphabet,
  and could make a shift to explain a sentence here and there; for
  Glumdalclitch had been my instructor while we were at home, and
  at leisure hours during our journey. She carried a little book in her
  pocket, not much larger than a Sanson's Atlas; it was a common.
  treatise for the use of young girls, giving a short account of their
  religion: out of this she taught me my letters, and interpreted the
  words..
  
  
CHAPTER III.
  
  [The author sent for to court. The queen buys him of his master
  the farmer, and presents him to the king. He disputes with his
  majesty's great scholars. An apartment at court provided for the
  author. He is in high favour with the queen. He stands up for the
  honour of his own country. His quarrels with the queen's dwarf.]
  The frequent labours I underwent every day, made, in a few
  weeks, a very considerable change in my health: the more my
  master got by me, the more insatiable he grew. I had quite lost my
  stomach, and was almost reduced to a skeleton. The farmer
  observed it, and concluding I must soon die, resolved to make as
  good a hand of me as he could. While he was thus reasoning and
  resolving with himself, a SARDRAL, or gentleman-usher, came
  from court, commanding my master to carry me immediately
  thither for the diversion of the queen and her ladies. Some of the
  latter had already been to see me, and reported strange things of
  my beauty, behaviour, and good sense. Her majesty, and those
  who attended her, were beyond measure delighted with my
  demeanour. I fell on my knees, and begged the honour of kissing
  her imperial foot; but this gracious princess held out her little
  finger towards me, after I was set on the table, which I embraced
  in both my arms, and put the tip of it with the utmost respect to
  my lip. She made me some general questions about my country.
  and my travels, which I answered as distinctly, and in as few
  words as I could. She asked, "whether I could be content to live at
  court?" I bowed down to the board of the table, and humbly
  answered "that I was my master's slave: but, if I were at my own
  disposal, I should be proud to devote my life to her majesty's
  service." She then asked my master, "whether he was willing to
  sell me at a good price?" He, who apprehended I could not live a
  month, was ready enough to part with me, and demanded a
  thousand pieces of gold, which were ordered him on the spot,
  each piece being about the bigness of eight hundred moidores; but
  allowing for the proportion of all things between that country and
  Europe, and the high price of gold among them, was hardly so
  great a sum as a thousand guineas would be in England. I then
  said to the queen, "since I was now her majesty's most humble
  creature and vassal, I must beg the favour, that Glumdalclitch,
  who had always tended me with so much care and kindness, and
  understood to do it so well, might be admitted into her service,
  and continue to be my nurse and instructor."
  Her majesty agreed to my petition, and easily got the farmer's
  consent, who was glad enough to have his daughter preferred at
  court, and the poor girl herself was not able to hide her joy. My
  late master withdrew, bidding me farewell, and saying he had left
  me in a good service; to which I replied not a word, only making
  him a slight bow.
  The queen observed my coldness; and, when the farmer was gone
  out of the apartment, asked me the reason. I made bold to tell her
  majesty, "that I owed no other obligation to my late master, than.
  his not dashing out the brains of a poor harmless creature, found
  by chance in his fields: which obligation was amply recompensed,
  by the gain he had made in showing me through half the kingdom,
  and the price he had now sold me for. That the life I had since led
  was laborious enough to kill an animal of ten times my strength.
  That my health was much impaired, by the continual drudgery of
  entertaining the rabble every hour of the day; and that, if my
  master had not thought my life in danger, her majesty would not
  have got so cheap a bargain. But as I was out of all fear of being
  ill-treated under the protection of so great and good an empress,
  the ornament of nature, the darling of the world, the delight of her
  subjects, the phoenix of the creation, so I hoped my late master's
  apprehensions would appear to be groundless; for I already found
  my spirits revive, by the influence of her most august presence."
  This was the sum of my speech, delivered with great improprieties
  and hesitation. The latter part was altogether framed in the style
  peculiar to that people, whereof I learned some phrases from
  Glumdalclitch, while she was carrying me to court.
  The queen, giving great allowance for my defectiveness in
  speaking, was, however, surprised at so much wit and good sense
  in so diminutive an animal. She took me in her own hand, and
  carried me to the king, who was then retired to his cabinet. His
  majesty, a prince of much gravity and austere countenance, not
  well observing my shape at first view, asked the queen after a cold
  manner "how long it was since she grew fond of a
  SPLACNUCK?" for such it seems he took me to be, as I lay upon
  my breast in her majesty's right hand. But this princess, who has.
  an infinite deal of wit and humour, set me gently on my feet upon
  the scrutoire, and commanded me to give his majesty an account
  of myself, which I did in a very few words: and Glumdalclitch
  who attended at the cabinet door, and could not endure I should be
  out of her sight, being admitted, confirmed all that had passed
  from my arrival at her father's house.
  The king, although he be as learned a person as any in his
  dominions, had been educated in the study of philosophy, and
  particularly mathematics; yet when he observed my shape exactly,
  and saw me walk erect, before I began to speak, conceived I might
  be a piece of clock-work (which is in that country arrived to a
  very great perfection) contrived by some ingenious artist. But
  when he heard my voice, and found what I delivered to be regular
  and rational, he could not conceal his astonishment. He was by no
  means satisfied with the relation I gave him of the manner I came
  into his kingdom, but thought it a story concerted between
  Glumdalclitch and her father, who had taught me a set of words to
  make me sell at a better price. Upon this imagination, he put
  several other questions to me, and still received rational answers:
  no otherwise defective than by a foreign accent, and an imperfect
  knowledge in the language, with some rustic phrases which I had
  learned at the farmer's house, and did not suit the polite style of a
  court.
  His majesty sent for three great scholars, who were then in their
  weekly waiting, according to the custom in that country. These
  gentlemen, after they had a while examined my shape with much
  nicety, were of different opinions concerning me. They all agreed.
  that I could not be produced according to the regular laws of
  nature, because I was not framed with a capacity of preserving my
  life, either by swiftness, or climbing of trees, or digging holes in
  the earth. They observed by my teeth, which they viewed with
  great exactness, that I was a carnivorous animal; yet most
  quadrupeds being an overmatch for me, and field mice, with some
  others, too nimble, they could not imagine how I should be able to
  support myself, unless I fed upon snails and other insects, which
  they offered, by many learned arguments, to evince that I could
  not possibly do. One of these virtuosi seemed to think that I might
  be an embryo, or abortive birth. But this opinion was rejected by
  the other two, who observed my limbs to be perfect and finished;
  and that I had lived several years, as it was manifest from my
  beard, the stumps whereof they plainly discovered through a
  magnifying glass. They would not allow me to be a dwarf,
  because my littleness was beyond all degrees of comparison; for
  the queen's favourite dwarf, the smallest ever known in that
  kingdom, was near thirty feet high. After much debate, they
  concluded unanimously, that I was only RELPLUM SCALCATH,
  which is interpreted literally LUSUS NATURAE; a determination
  exactly agreeable to the modern philosophy of Europe, whose
  professors, disdaining the old evasion of occult causes, whereby
  the followers of Aristotle endeavoured in vain to disguise their
  ignorance, have invented this wonderful solution of all
  difficulties, to the unspeakable advancement of human
  knowledge..
  After this decisive conclusion, I entreated to be heard a word or
  two. I applied myself to the king, and assured his majesty, "that I
  came from a country which abounded with several millions of
  both sexes, and of my own stature; where the animals, trees, and
  houses, were all in proportion, and where, by consequence, I
  might be as able to defend myself, and to find sustenance, as any
  of his majesty's subjects could do here; which I took for a full
  answer to those gentlemen's arguments." To this they only replied
  with a smile of contempt, saying, "that the farmer had instructed
  me very well in my lesson." The king, who had a much better
  understanding, dismissing his learned men, sent for the farmer,
  who by good fortune was not yet gone out of town. Having
  therefore first examined him privately, and then confronted him
  with me and the young girl, his majesty began to think that what
  we told him might possibly be true. He desired the queen to order
  that a particular care should be taken of me; and was of opinion
  that Glumdalclitch should still continue in her office of tending
  me, because he observed we had a great affection for each other.
  A convenient apartment was provided for her at court: she had a
  sort of governess appointed to take care of her education, a maid
  to dress her, and two other servants for menial offices; but the care
  of me was wholly appropriated to herself. The queen commanded
  her own cabinet-maker to contrive a box, that might serve me for
  a bedchamber, after the model that Glumdalclitch and I should
  agree upon. This man was a most ingenious artist, and according
  to my direction, in three weeks finished for me a wooden chamber
  of sixteen feet square, and twelve high, with sash-windows, a
  door, and two closets, like a London bed-chamber..
  The board, that made the ceiling, was to be lifted up and down by
  two hinges, to put in a bed ready furnished by her majesty's
  upholsterer, which Glumdalclitch took out every day to air, made
  it with her own hands, and letting it down at night, locked up the
  roof over me. A nice workman, who was famous for little
  curiosities, undertook to make me two chairs, with backs and
  frames, of a substance not unlike ivory, and two tables, with a
  cabinet to put my things in. The room was quilted on all sides, as
  well as the floor and the ceiling, to prevent any accident from the
  carelessness of those who carried me, and to break the force of a
  jolt, when I went in a coach. I desired a lock for my door, to
  prevent rats and mice from coming in. The smith, after several
  attempts, made the smallest that ever was seen among them, for I
  have known a larger at the gate of a gentleman's house in England.
  I made a shift to keep the key in a pocket of my own, fearing
  Glumdalclitch might lose it. The queen likewise ordered the
  thinnest silks that could be gotten, to make me clothes, not much
  thicker than an English blanket, very cumbersome till I was
  accustomed to them. They were after the fashion of the kingdom,
  partly resembling the Persian, and partly the Chinese, and are a
  very grave and decent habit.
  The queen became so fond of my company, that she could not
  dine without me. I had a table placed upon the same at which her
  majesty ate, just at her left elbow, and a chair to sit on.
  Glumdalclitch stood on a stool on the floor near my table, to assist
  and take care of me. I had an entire set of silver dishes and plates,
  and other necessaries, which, in proportion to those of the queen,
  were not much bigger than what I have seen in a London toy-shop.
  for the furniture of a baby-house: these my little nurse kept in her
  pocket in a silver box, and gave me at meals as I wanted them,
  always cleaning them herself. No person dined with the queen but
  the two princesses royal, the eldest sixteen years old, and the
  younger at that time thirteen and a month. Her majesty used to put
  a bit of meat upon one of my dishes, out of which I carved for
  myself, and her diversion was to see me eat in miniature: for the
  queen (who had indeed but a weak stomach) took up, at one
  mouthful, as much as a dozen English farmers could eat at a meal,
  which to me was for some time a very nauseous sight. She would
  craunch the wing of a lark, bones and all, between her teeth,
  although it were nine times as large as that of a full-grown turkey;
  and put a bit of bread into her mouth as big as two twelve-penny
  loaves. She drank out of a golden cup, above a hogshead at a
  draught. Her knives were twice as long as a scythe, set straight
  upon the handle. The spoons, forks, and other instruments, were
  all in the same proportion. I remember when Glumdalclitch
  carried me, out of curiosity, to see some of the tables at court,
  where ten or a dozen of those enormous knives and forks were
  lifted up together, I thought I had never till then beheld so terrible
  a sight.
  It is the custom, that every Wednesday (which, as I have observed,
  is their Sabbath) the king and queen, with the royal issue of both
  sexes, dine together in the apartment of his majesty, to whom I
  was now become a great favourite; and at these times, my little
  chair and table were placed at his left hand, before one of the salt-cellars.
  This prince took a pleasure in conversing with me,
  inquiring into the manners, religion, laws, government, and.
  learning of Europe; wherein I gave him the best account I was
  able. His apprehension was so clear, and his judgment so exact,
  that he made very wise reflections and observations upon all I
  said. But I confess, that, after I had been a little too copious in
  talking of my own beloved country, of our trade and wars by sea
  and land, of our schisms in religion, and parties in the state; the
  prejudices of his education prevailed so far, that he could not
  forbear taking me up in his right hand, and stroking me gently
  with the other, after a hearty fit of laughing, asked me, "whether I
  was a whig or tory?" Then turning to his first minister, who waited
  behind him with a white staff, near as tall as the mainmast of the
  Royal Sovereign, he observed "how contemptible a thing was
  human grandeur, which could be mimicked by such diminutive
  insects as I: and yet," says he, "I dare engage these creatures have
  their titles and distinctions of honour; they contrive little nests and
  burrows, that they call houses and cities; they make a figure in
  dress and equipage; they love, they fight, they dispute, they cheat,
  they betray!" And thus he continued on, while my colour came
  and went several times, with indignation, to hear our noble
  country, the mistress of arts and arms, the scourge of France, the
  arbitress of Europe, the seat of virtue, piety, honour, and truth, the
  pride and envy of the world, so contemptuously treated.
  But as I was not in a condition to resent injuries, so upon mature
  thoughts I began to doubt whether I was injured or no. For, after
  having been accustomed several months to the sight and converse
  of this people, and observed every object upon which I cast mine
  eyes to be of proportionable magnitude, the horror I had at first
  conceived from their bulk and aspect was so far worn off, that if I.
  had then beheld a company of English lords and ladies in their
  finery and birth-day clothes, acting their several parts in the most
  courtly manner of strutting, and bowing, and prating, to say the
  truth, I should have been strongly tempted to laugh as much at
  them as the king and his grandees did at me. Neither, indeed,
  could I forbear smiling at myself, when the queen used to place
  me upon her hand towards a looking-glass, by which both our
  persons appeared before me in full view together; and there could
  be nothing more ridiculous than the comparison; so that I really
  began to imagine myself dwindled many degrees below my usual
  size.
  Nothing angered and mortified me so much as the queen's dwarf;
  who being of the lowest stature that was ever in that country (for I
  verily think he was not full thirty feet high), became so insolent at
  seeing a creature so much beneath him, that he would always
  affect to swagger and look big as he passed by me in the queen's
  antechamber, while I was standing on some table talking with the
  lords or ladies of the court, and he seldom failed of a smart word
  or two upon my littleness; against which I could only revenge
  myself by calling him brother, challenging him to wrestle, and
  such repartees as are usually in the mouths of court pages. One
  day, at dinner, this malicious little cub was so nettled with
  something I had said to him, that, raising himself upon the frame
  of her majesty's chair, he took me up by the middle, as I was
  sitting down, not thinking any harm, and let me drop into a large
  silver bowl of cream, and then ran away as fast as he could. I fell
  over head and ears, and, if I had not been a good swimmer, it
  might have gone very hard with me; for Glumdalclitch in that.
  instant happened to be at the other end of the room, and the queen
  was in such a fright, that she wanted presence of mind to assist
  me. But my little nurse ran to my relief, and took me out, after I
  had swallowed above a quart of cream. I was put to bed: however,
  I received no other damage than the loss of a suit of clothes, which
  was utterly spoiled. The dwarf was soundly whipt, and as a
  farther punishment, forced to drink up the bowl of cream into
  which he had thrown me: neither was he ever restored to favour;
  for soon after the queen bestowed him on a lady of high quality, so
  that I saw him no more, to my very great satisfaction; for I could
  not tell to what extremities such a malicious urchin might have
  carried his resentment.
  He had before served me a scurvy trick, which set the queen a-laughing,
  although at the same time she was heartily vexed, and
  would have immediately cashiered him, if I had not been so
  generous as to intercede. Her majesty had taken a marrow-bone
  upon her plate, and, after knocking out the marrow, placed the
  bone again in the dish erect, as it stood before; the dwarf,
  watching his opportunity, while Glumdalclitch was gone to the
  side-board, mounted the stool that she stood on to take care of me
  at meals, took me up in both hands, and squeezing my legs
  together, wedged them into the marrow bone above my waist,
  where I stuck for some time, and made a very ridiculous figure. I
  believe it was near a minute before any one knew what was
  become of me; for I thought it below me to cry out. But, as princes
  seldom get their meat hot, my legs were not scalded, only my
  stockings and breeches in a sad condition. The dwarf, at my
  entreaty, had no other punishment than a sound whipping..
  I was frequently rallied by the queen upon account of my
  fearfulness; and she used to ask me whether the people of my
  country were as great cowards as myself? The occasion was this:
  the kingdom is much pestered with flies in summer; and these
  odious insects, each of them as big as a Dunstable lark, hardly
  gave me any rest while I sat at dinner, with their continual
  humming and buzzing about mine ears. They would sometimes
  alight upon my victuals, and leave their loathsome excrement, or
  spawn behind, which to me was very visible, though not to the
  natives of that country, whose large optics were not so acute as
  mine, in viewing smaller objects. Sometimes they would fix upon
  my nose, or forehead, where they stung me to the quick, smelling
  very offensively; and I could easily trace that viscous matter,
  which, our naturalists tell us, enables those creatures to walk with
  their feet upwards upon a ceiling. I had much ado to defend
  myself against these detestable animals, and could not forbear
  starting when they came on my face. It was the common practice
  of the dwarf, to catch a number of these insects in his hand, as
  schoolboys do among us, and let them out suddenly under my
  nose, on purpose to frighten me, and divert the queen. My remedy
  was to cut them in pieces with my knife, as they flew in the air,
  wherein my dexterity was much admired.
  I remember, one morning, when Glumdalclitch had set me in a
  box upon a window, as she usually did in fair days to give me air
  (for I durst not venture to let the box be hung on a nail out of the
  window, as we do with cages in England), after I had lifted up one
  of my sashes, and sat down at my table to eat a piece of sweet.
  cake for my breakfast, above twenty wasps, allured by the smell,
  came flying into the room, humming louder than the drones of as
  many bagpipes. Some of them seized my cake, and carried it
  piecemeal away; others flew about my head and face,
  confounding me with the noise, and putting me in the utmost
  terror of their stings. However, I had the courage to rise and draw
  my hanger, and attack them in the air. I dispatched four of them,
  but the rest got away, and I presently shut my window. These
  insects were as large as partridges: I took out their stings, found
  them an inch and a half long, and as sharp as needles. I carefully
  preserved them all; and having since shown them, with some
  other curiosities, in several parts of Europe, upon my return to
  England I gave three of them to Gresham College, and kept the
  fourth for myself..
  
  
CHAPTER IV.
  
  [The country described. A proposal for correcting modern maps.
  The king's palace; and some account of the metropolis. The
  author's way of travelling. The chief temple described.]
  I now intend to give the reader a short description of this country,
  as far as I travelled in it, which was not above two thousand miles
  round Lorbrulgrud, the metropolis. For the queen, whom I always
  attended, never went farther when she accompanied the king in
  his progresses, and there staid till his majesty returned from
  viewing his frontiers. The whole extent of this prince's dominions
  reaches about six thousand miles in length, and from three to five
  in breadth: whence I cannot but conclude, that our geographers of
  Europe are in a great error, by supposing nothing but sea between
  Japan and California; for it was ever my opinion, that there must
  be a balance of earth to counterpoise the great continent of
  Tartary; and therefore they ought to correct their maps and charts,
  by joining this vast tract of land to the north-west parts of
  America, wherein I shall be ready to lend them my assistance.
  The kingdom is a peninsula, terminated to the north-east by a
  ridge of mountains thirty miles high, which are altogether
  impassable, by reason of the volcanoes upon the tops: neither do
  the most learned know what sort of mortals inhabit beyond those.
  mountains, or whether they be inhabited at all. On the three other
  sides, it is bounded by the ocean. There is not one sea-port in the
  whole kingdom: and those parts of the coasts into which the rivers
  issue, are so full of pointed rocks, and the sea generally so rough,
  that there is no venturing with the smallest of their boats; so that
  these people are wholly excluded from any commerce with the
  rest of the world. But the large rivers are full of vessels, and
  abound with excellent fish; for they seldom get any from the sea,
  because the sea fish are of the same size with those in Europe, and
  consequently not worth catching; whereby it is manifest, that
  nature, in the production of plants and animals of so extraordinary
  a bulk, is wholly confined to this continent, of which I leave the
  reasons to be determined by philosophers. However, now and then
  they take a whale that happens to be dashed against the rocks,
  which the common people feed on heartily. These whales I have
  known so large, that a man could hardly carry one upon his
  shoulders; and sometimes, for curiosity, they are brought in
  hampers to Lorbrulgrud; I saw one of them in a dish at the king's
  table, which passed for a rarity, but I did not observe he was fond
  of it; for I think, indeed, the bigness disgusted him, although I
  have seen one somewhat larger in Greenland.
  The country is well inhabited, for it contains fifty-one cities, near
  a hundred walled towns, and a great number of villages. To satisfy
  my curious reader, it may be sufficient to describe Lorbrulgrud.
  This city stands upon almost two equal parts, on each side the
  river that passes through. It contains above eighty thousand
  houses, and about six hundred thousand inhabitants. It is in length
  three GLOMGLUNGS (which make about fifty-four English.
  miles,) and two and a half in breadth; as I measured it myself in
  the royal map made by the king's order, which was laid on the
  ground on purpose for me, and extended a hundred feet: I paced
  the diameter and circumference several times barefoot, and,
  computing by the scale, measured it pretty exactly.
  The king's palace is no regular edifice, but a heap of buildings,
  about seven miles round: the chief rooms are generally two
  hundred and forty feet high, and broad and long in proportion. A
  coach was allowed to Glumdalclitch and me, wherein her
  governess frequently took her out to see the town, or go among
  the shops; and I was always of the party, carried in my box;
  although the girl, at my own desire, would often take me out, and
  hold me in her hand, that I might more conveniently view the
  houses and the people, as we passed along the streets. I reckoned
  our coach to be about a square of Westminster-hall, but not
  altogether so high: however, I cannot be very exact. One day the
  governess ordered our coachman to stop at several shops, where
  the beggars, watching their opportunity, crowded to the sides of
  the coach, and gave me the most horrible spectacle that ever a
  European eye beheld. There was a woman with a cancer in her
  breast, swelled to a monstrous size, full of holes, in two or three of
  which I could have easily crept, and covered my whole body.
  There was a fellow with a wen in his neck, larger than five wool-packs;
  and another, with a couple of wooden legs, each about
  twenty feet high. But the most hateful sight of all, was the lice
  crawling on their clothes. I could see distinctly the limbs of these
  vermin with my naked eye, much better than those of a European
  louse through a microscope, and their snouts with which they.
  rooted like swine. They were the first I had ever beheld, and I
  should have been curious enough to dissect one of them, if I had
  had proper instruments, which I unluckily left behind me in the
  ship, although, indeed, the sight was so nauseous, that it perfectly
  turned my stomach.
  Besides the large box in which I was usually carried, the queen
  ordered a smaller one to be made for me, of about twelve feet
  square, and ten high, for the convenience of travelling; because
  the other was somewhat too large for Glumdalclitch's lap, and
  cumbersome in the coach; it was made by the same artist, whom I
  directed in the whole contrivance. This travelling-closet was an
  exact square, with a window in the middle of three of the squares,
  and each window was latticed with iron wire on the outside, to
  prevent accidents in long journeys. On the fourth side, which had
  no window, two strong staples were fixed, through which the
  person that carried me, when I had a mind to be on horseback, put
  a leathern belt, and buckled it about his waist. This was always
  the office of some grave trusty servant, in whom I could confide,
  whether I attended the king and queen in their progresses, or were
  disposed to see the gardens, or pay a visit to some great lady or
  minister of state in the court, when Glumdalclitch happened to be
  out of order; for I soon began to be known and esteemed among
  the greatest officers, I suppose more upon account of their
  majesties' favour, than any merit of my own. In journeys, when I
  was weary of the coach, a servant on horseback would buckle on
  my box, and place it upon a cushion before him; and there I had a
  full prospect of the country on three sides, from my three
  windows. I had, in this closet, a field-bed and a hammock, hung.
  from the ceiling, two chairs and a table, neatly screwed to the
  floor, to prevent being tossed about by the agitation of the horse or
  the coach. And having been long used to sea-voyages, those
  motions, although sometimes very violent, did not much
  discompose me.
  Whenever I had a mind to see the town, it was always in my
  travelling-closet; which Glumdalclitch held in her lap in a kind of
  open sedan, after the fashion of the country, borne by four men,
  and attended by two others in the queen's livery. The people, who
  had often heard of me, were very curious to crowd about the
  sedan, and the girl was complaisant enough to make the bearers
  stop, and to take me in her hand, that I might be more
  conveniently seen.
  I was very desirous to see the chief temple, and particularly the
  tower belonging to it, which is reckoned the highest in the
  kingdom. Accordingly one day my nurse carried me thither, but I
  may truly say I came back disappointed; for the height is not
  above three thousand feet, reckoning from the ground to the
  highest pinnacle top; which, allowing for the difference between
  the size of those people and us in Europe, is no great matter for
  admiration, nor at all equal in proportion (if I rightly remember) to
  Salisbury steeple. But, not to detract from a nation, to which,
  during my life, I shall acknowledge myself extremely obliged, it
  must be allowed, that whatever this famous tower wants in height,
  is amply made up in beauty and strength: for the walls are near a
  hundred feet thick, built of hewn stone, whereof each is about
  forty feet square, and adorned on all sides with statues of gods and.
  emperors, cut in marble, larger than the life, placed in their several
  niches. I measured a little finger which had fallen down from one
  of these statues, and lay unperceived among some rubbish, and
  found it exactly four feet and an inch in length. Glumdalclitch
  wrapped it up in her handkerchief, and carried it home in her
  pocket, to keep among other trinkets, of which the girl was very
  fond, as children at her age usually are.
  The king's kitchen is indeed a noble building, vaulted at top, and
  about six hundred feet high. The great oven is not so wide, by ten
  paces, as the cupola at St. Paul's: for I measured the latter on
  purpose, after my return. But if I should describe the kitchen
  grate, the prodigious pots and kettles, the joints of meat turning on
  the spits, with many other particulars, perhaps I should be hardly
  believed; at least a severe critic would be apt to think I enlarged a
  little, as travellers are often suspected to do. To avoid which
  censure I fear I have run too much into the other extreme; and that
  if this treatise should happen to be translated into the language of
  Brobdingnag (which is the general name of that kingdom,) and
  transmitted thither, the king and his people would have reason to
  complain that I had done them an injury, by a false and diminutive
  representation.
  His majesty seldom keeps above six hundred horses in his stables:
  they are generally from fifty-four to sixty feet high. But, when he
  goes abroad on solemn days, he is attended, for state, by a military
  guard of five hundred horse, which, indeed, I thought was the
  most splendid sight that could be ever beheld, till I saw part of his
  army in battalia, whereof I shall find another occasion to speak...
  
  
CHAPTER V.
  
  [Several adventurers that happened to the author. The execution of
  a criminal. The author shows his skill in navigation.]
  I should have lived happy enough in that country, if my littleness
  had not exposed me to several ridiculous and troublesome
  accidents; some of which I shall venture to relate. Glumdalclitch
  often carried me into the gardens of the court in my smaller box,
  and would sometimes take me out of it, and hold me in her hand,
  or set me down to walk. I remember, before the dwarf left the
  queen, he followed us one day into those gardens, and my nurse
  having set me down, he and I being close together, near some
  dwarf apple trees, I must needs show my wit, by a silly allusion
  between him and the trees, which happens to hold in their
  language as it does in ours. Whereupon, the malicious rogue,
  watching his opportunity, when I was walking under one of them,
  shook it directly over my head, by which a dozen apples, each of
  them near as large as a Bristol barrel, came tumbling about my
  ears; one of them hit me on the back as I chanced to stoop, and
  knocked me down flat on my face; but I received no other hurt,
  and the dwarf was pardoned at my desire, because I had given the
  provocation..
  Another day, Glumdalclitch left me on a smooth grass-plot to
  divert myself, while she walked at some distance with her
  governess. In the meantime, there suddenly fell such a violent
  shower of hail, that I was immediately by the force of it, struck to
  the ground: and when I was down, the hailstones gave me such
  cruel bangs all over the body, as if I had been pelted with tennis-balls;
  however, I made a shift to creep on all fours, and shelter
  myself, by lying flat on my face, on the lee-side of a border of
  lemon-thyme, but so bruised from head to foot, that I could not go
  abroad in ten days. Neither is this at all to be wondered at, because
  nature, in that country, observing the same proportion through all
  her operations, a hailstone is near eighteen hundred times as large
  as one in Europe; which I can assert upon experience, having been
  so curious as to weigh and measure them.
  But a more dangerous accident happened to me in the same
  garden, when my little nurse, believing she had put me in a secure
  place (which I often entreated her to do, that I might enjoy my
  own thoughts,) and having left my box at home, to avoid the
  trouble of carrying it, went to another part of the garden with her
  governess and some ladies of her acquaintance. While she was
  absent, and out of hearing, a small white spaniel that belonged to
  one of the chief gardeners, having got by accident into the garden,
  happened to range near the place where I lay: the dog, following
  the scent, came directly up, and taking me in his mouth, ran
  straight to his master wagging his tail, and set me gently on the
  ground. By good fortune he had been so well taught, that I was
  carried between his teeth without the least hurt, or even tearing
  my clothes. But the poor gardener, who knew me well, and had a.
  great kindness for me, was in a terrible fright: he gently took me
  up in both his hands, and asked me how I did? but I was so
  amazed and out of breath, that I could not speak a word. In a few
  minutes I came to myself, and he carried me safe to my little
  nurse, who, by this time, had returned to the place where she left
  me, and was in cruel agonies when I did not appear, nor answer
  when she called. She severely reprimanded the gardener on
  account of his dog. But the thing was hushed up, and never known
  at court, for the girl was afraid of the queen's anger; and truly, as
  to myself, I thought it would not be for my reputation, that such a
  story should go about.
  This accident absolutely determined Glumdalclitch never to trust
  me abroad for the future out of her sight. I had been long afraid of
  this resolution, and therefore concealed from her some little
  unlucky adventures, that happened in those times when I was left
  by myself. Once a kite, hovering over the garden, made a stoop at
  me, and if I had not resolutely drawn my hanger, and run under a
  thick espalier, he would have certainly carried me away in his
  talons. Another time, walking to the top of a fresh mole-hill, I fell
  to my neck in the hole, through which that animal had cast up the
  earth, and coined some lie, not worth remembering, to excuse
  myself for spoiling my clothes. I likewise broke my right shin
  against the shell of a snail, which I happened to stumble over, as I
  was walking alone and thinking on poor England.
  I cannot tell whether I were more pleased or mortified to observe,
  in those solitary walks, that the smaller birds did not appear to be
  at all afraid of me, but would hop about within a yard's distance,.
  looking for worms and other food, with as much indifference and
  security as if no creature at all were near them. I remember, a
  thrush had the confidence to snatch out of my hand, with his bill, a
  of cake that Glumdalclitch had just given me for my breakfast.
  When I attempted to catch any of these birds, they would boldly
  turn against me, endeavouring to peck my fingers, which I durst
  not venture within their reach; and then they would hop back
  unconcerned, to hunt for worms or snails, as they did before. But
  one day, I took a thick cudgel, and threw it with all my strength so
  luckily, at a linnet, that I knocked him down, and seizing him by
  the neck with both my hands, ran with him in triumph to my
  nurse. However, the bird, who had only been stunned, recovering
  himself gave me so many boxes with his wings, on both sides of
  my head and body, though I held him at arm's-length, and was out
  of the reach of his claws, that I was twenty times thinking to let
  him go. But I was soon relieved by one of our servants, who
  wrung off the bird's neck, and I had him next day for dinner, by
  the queen's command. This linnet, as near as I can remember,
  seemed to be somewhat larger than an English swan.
  The maids of honour often invited Glumdalclitch to their
  apartments, and desired she would bring me along with her, on
  purpose to have the pleasure of seeing and touching me. They
  would often strip me naked from top to toe, and lay me at full
  length in their bosoms; wherewith I was much disgusted because,
  to say the truth, a very offensive smell came from their skins;
  which I do not mention, or intend, to the disadvantage of those
  excellent ladies, for whom I have all manner of respect; but I
  conceive that my sense was more acute in proportion to my.
  littleness, and that those illustrious persons were no more
  disagreeable to their lovers, or to each other, than people of the
  same quality are with us in England. And, after all, I found their
  natural smell was much more supportable, than when they used
  perfumes, under which I immediately swooned away. I cannot
  forget, that an intimate friend of mine in Lilliput, took the freedom
  in a warm day, when I had used a good deal of exercise, to
  complain of a strong smell about me, although I am as little faulty
  that way, as most of my sex: but I suppose his faculty of smelling
  was as nice with regard to me, as mine was to that of this people.
  Upon this point, I cannot forbear doing justice to the queen my
  mistress, and Glumdalclitch my nurse, whose persons were as
  sweet as those of any lady in England.
  That which gave me most uneasiness among these maids of
  honour (when my nurse carried me to visit then) was, to see them
  use me without any manner of ceremony, like a creature who had
  no sort of consequence: for they would strip themselves to the
  skin, and put on their smocks in my presence, while I was placed
  on their toilet, directly before their naked bodies, which I am sure
  to me was very far from being a tempting sight, or from giving me
  any other emotions than those of horror and disgust: their skins
  appeared so coarse and uneven, so variously coloured, when I saw
  them near, with a mole here and there as broad as a trencher, and
  hairs hanging from it thicker than packthreads, to say nothing
  farther concerning the rest of their persons. Neither did they at all
  scruple, while I was by, to discharge what they had drank, to the
  quantity of at least two hogsheads, in a vessel that held above
  three tuns. The handsomest among these maids of honour, a.
  pleasant, frolicsome girl of sixteen, would sometimes set me
  astride upon one of her nipples, with many other tricks, wherein
  the reader will excuse me for not being over particular. But I was
  so much displeased, that I entreated Glumdalclitch to contrive
  some excuse for not seeing that young lady any more.
  One day, a young gentleman, who was nephew to my nurse's
  governess, came and pressed them both to see an execution. It was
  of a man, who had murdered one of that gentleman's intimate
  acquaintance. Glumdalclitch was prevailed on to be of the
  company, very much against her inclination, for she was naturally
  tender-hearted: and, as for myself, although I abhorred such kind
  of spectacles, yet my curiosity tempted me to see something that I
  thought must be extraordinary. The malefactor was fixed in a
  chair upon a scaffold erected for that purpose, and his head cut off
  at one blow, with a sword of about forty feet long. The veins and
  arteries spouted up such a prodigious quantity of blood, and so
  high in the air, that the great JET D'EAU at Versailles was not
  equal to it for the time it lasted: and the head, when it fell on the
  scaffold floor, gave such a bounce as made me start, although I
  was at least half an English mile distant.
  The queen, who often used to hear me talk of my sea-voyages,
  and took all occasions to divert me when I was melancholy, asked
  me whether I understood how to handle a sail or an oar, and
  whether a little exercise of rowing might not be convenient for my
  health? I answered, that I understood both very well: for although
  my proper employment had been to be surgeon or doctor to the
  ship, yet often, upon a pinch, I was forced to work like a common.
  mariner. But I could not see how this could be done in their
  country, where the smallest wherry was equal to a first-rate man
  of war among us; and such a boat as I could manage would never
  live in any of their rivers. Her majesty said, if I would contrive a
  boat, her own joiner should make it, and she would provide a
  place for me to sail in. The fellow was an ingenious workman, and
  by my instructions, in ten days, finished a pleasure-boat with all
  its tackling, able conveniently to hold eight Europeans. When it
  was finished, the queen was so delighted, that she ran with it in
  her lap to the king, who ordered it to be put into a cistern full of
  water, with me in it, by way of trial, where I could not manage my
  two sculls, or little oars, for want of room. But the queen had
  before contrived another project. She ordered the joiner to make a
  wooden trough of three hundred feet long, fifty broad, and eight
  deep; which, being well pitched, to prevent leaking, was placed on
  the floor, along the wall, in an outer room of the palace. It had a
  cock near the bottom to let out the water, when it began to grow
  stale; and two servants could easily fill it in half an hour. Here I
  often used to row for my own diversion, as well as that of the
  queen and her ladies, who thought themselves well entertained
  with my skill and agility. Sometimes I would put up my sail, and
  then my business was only to steer, while the ladies gave me a
  gale with their fans; and, when they were weary, some of their
  pages would blow my sail forward with their breath, while I
  showed my art by steering starboard or larboard as I pleased.
  When I had done, Glumdalclitch always carried back my boat into
  her closet, and hung it on a nail to dry..
  In this exercise I once met an accident, which had like to have cost
  me my life; for, one of the pages having put my boat into the
  trough, the governess who attended Glumdalclitch very
  officiously lifted me up, to place me in the boat: but I happened to
  slip through her fingers, and should infallibly have fallen down
  forty feet upon the floor, if, by the luckiest chance in the world, I
  had not been stopped by a corking-pin that stuck in the good
  gentlewoman's stomacher; the head of the pin passing between
  my shirt and the waistband of my breeches, and thus I was held by
  the middle in the air, till Glumdalclitch ran to my relief.
  Another time, one of the servants, whose office it was to fill my
  trough every third day with fresh water, was so careless as to let a
  huge frog (not perceiving it) slip out of his pail. The frog lay
  concealed till I was put into my boat, but then, seeing a resting-place,
  climbed up, and made it lean so much on one side, that I
  was forced to balance it with all my weight on the other, to
  prevent overturning. When the frog was got in, it hopped at once
  half the length of the boat, and then over my head, backward and
  forward, daubing my face and clothes with its odious slime. The
  largeness of its features made it appear the most deformed animal
  that can be conceived. However, I desired Glumdalclitch to let me
  deal with it alone. I banged it a good while with one of my sculls,
  and at last forced it to leap out of the boat.
  But the greatest danger I ever underwent in that kingdom, was
  from a monkey, who belonged to one of the clerks of the kitchen.
  Glumdalclitch had locked me up in her closet, while she went
  somewhere upon business, or a visit. The weather being very.
  warm, the closet-window was left open, as well as the windows
  and the door of my bigger box, in which I usually lived, because
  of its largeness and conveniency. As I sat quietly meditating at my
  table, I heard something bounce in at the closet-window, and skip
  about from one side to the other: whereat, although I was much
  alarmed, yet I ventured to look out, but not stirring from my seat;
  and then I saw this frolicsome animal frisking and leaping up and
  down, till at last he came to my box, which he seemed to view
  with great pleasure and curiosity, peeping in at the door and every
  window. I retreated to the farther corner of my room; or box; but
  the monkey looking in at every side, put me in such a fright, that I
  wanted presence of mind to conceal myself under the bed, as I
  might easily have done. After some time spent in peeping,
  grinning, and chattering, he at last espied me; and reaching one of
  his paws in at the door, as a cat does when she plays with a mouse,
  although I often shifted place to avoid him, he at length seized the
  lappet of my coat (which being made of that country silk, was
  very thick and strong), and dragged me out. He took me up in his
  right fore-foot and held me as a nurse does a child she is going to
  suckle, just as I have seen the same sort of creature do with a
  kitten in Europe; and when I offered to struggle he squeezed me
  so hard, that I thought it more prudent to submit. I have good
  reason to believe, that he took me for a young one of his own
  species, by his often stroking my face very gently with his other
  paw. In these diversions he was interrupted by a noise at the closet
  door, as if somebody were opening it: whereupon he suddenly
  leaped up to the window at which he had come in, and thence
  upon the leads and gutters, walking upon three legs, and holding
  me in the fourth, till he clambered up to a roof that was next to.
  ours. I heard Glumdalclitch give a shriek at the moment he was
  carrying me out. The poor girl was almost distracted: that quarter
  of the palace was all in an uproar; the servants ran for ladders; the
  monkey was seen by hundreds in the court, sitting upon the ridge
  of a building, holding me like a baby in one of his forepaws, and
  feeding me with the other, by cramming into my mouth some
  victuals he had squeezed out of the bag on one side of his chaps,
  and patting me when I would not eat; whereat many of the rabble
  below could not forbear laughing; neither do I think they justly
  ought to be blamed, for, without question, the sight was ridiculous
  enough to every body but myself. Some of the people threw up
  stones, hoping to drive the monkey down; but this was strictly
  forbidden, or else, very probably, my brains had been dashed out.
  The ladders were now applied, and mounted by several men;
  which the monkey observing, and finding himself almost
  encompassed, not being able to make speed enough with his three
  legs, let me drop on a ridge tile, and made his escape. Here I sat
  for some time, five hundred yards from the ground, expecting
  every moment to be blown down by the wind, or to fall by my
  own giddiness, and come tumbling over and over from the ridge
  to the eaves; but an honest lad, one of my nurse's footmen,
  climbed up, and putting me into his breeches pocket, brought me
  down safe.
  I was almost choked with the filthy stuff the monkey had
  crammed down my throat: but my dear little nurse picked it out of
  my mouth with a small needle, and then I fell a-vomiting, which
  gave me great relief. Yet I was so weak and bruised in the sides.
  with the squeezes given me by this odious animal, that I was
  forced to keep my bed a fortnight. The king, queen, and all the
  court, sent every day to inquire after my health; and her majesty
  made me several visits during my sickness. The monkey was
  killed, and an order made, that no such animal should be kept
  about the palace.
  When I attended the king after my recovery, to return him thanks
  for his favours, he was pleased to rally me a good deal upon this
  adventure. He asked me, "what my thoughts and speculations
  were, while I lay in the monkey's paw; how I liked the victuals he
  gave me; his manner of feeding; and whether the fresh air on the
  roof had sharpened my stomach." He desired to know, "what I
  would have done upon such an occasion in my own country." I
  told his majesty, "that in Europe we had no monkeys, except such
  as were brought for curiosity from other places, and so small, that
  I could deal with a dozen of them together, if they presumed to
  attack me. And as for that monstrous animal with whom I was so
  lately engaged (it was indeed as large as an elephant), if my fears
  had suffered me to think so far as to make use of my hanger,"
  (looking fiercely, and clapping my hand on the hilt, as I spoke)
  "when he poked his paw into my chamber, perhaps I should have
  given him such a wound, as would have made him glad to
  withdraw it with more haste than he put it in." This I delivered in a
  firm tone, like a person who was jealous lest his courage should
  be called in question. However, my speech produced nothing else
  beside a laud laughter, which all the respect due to his majesty
  from those about him could not make them contain. This made
  me reflect, how vain an attempt it is for a man to endeavour to do.
  himself honour among those who are out of all degree of equality
  or comparison with him. And yet I have seen the moral of my own
  behaviour very frequent in England since my return; where a little
  contemptible varlet, without the least title to birth, person, wit, or
  common sense, shall presume to look with importance, and put
  himself upon a foot with the greatest persons of the kingdom.
  I was every day furnishing the court with some ridiculous story:
  and Glumdalclitch, although she loved me to excess, yet was arch
  enough to inform the queen, whenever I committed any folly that
  she thought would be diverting to her majesty. The girl, who had
  been out of order, was carried by her governess to take the air
  about an hour's distance, or thirty miles from town. They alighted
  out of the coach near a small foot-path in a field, and
  Glumdalclitch setting down my travelling box, I went out of it to
  walk. There was a cow-dung in the path, and I must need try my
  activity by attempting to leap over it. I took a run, but
  unfortunately jumped short, and found myself just in the middle
  up to my knees. I waded through with some difficulty, and one of
  the footmen wiped me as clean as he could with his handkerchief,
  for I was filthily bemired; and my nurse confined me to my box,
  till we returned home; where the queen was soon informed of
  what had passed, and the footmen spread it about the court: so that
  all the mirth for some days was at my expense..
  
  
CHAPTER VI.
  
  [Several contrivances of the author to please the king and queen.
  He shows his skill in music. The king inquires into the state of
  England, which the author relates to him. The king's observations
  thereon.]
  I used to attend the king's levee once or twice a week, and had
  often seen him under the barber's hand, which indeed was at first
  very terrible to behold; for the razor was almost twice as long as
  an ordinary scythe. His majesty, according to the custom of the
  country, was only shaved twice a-week. I once prevailed on the
  barber to give me some of the suds or lather, out of which I picked
  forty or fifty of the strongest stumps of hair. I then took a piece of
  fine wood, and cut it like the back of a comb, making several
  holes in it at equal distances with as small a needle as I could get
  from Glumdalclitch. I fixed in the stumps so artificially, scraping
  and sloping them with my knife toward the points, that I made a
  very tolerable comb; which was a seasonable supply, my own
  being so much broken in the teeth, that it was almost useless:
  neither did I know any artist in that country so nice and exact, as
  would undertake to make me another..
  And this puts me in mind of an amusement, wherein I spent many
  of my leisure hours. I desired the queen's woman to save for me
  the combings of her majesty's hair, whereof in time I got a good
  quantity; and consulting with my friend the cabinet-maker, who
  had received general orders to do little jobs for me, I directed him
  to make two chair-frames, no larger than those I had in my box,
  and to bore little holes with a fine awl, round those parts where I
  designed the backs and seats; through these holes I wove the
  strongest hairs I could pick out, just after the manner of cane
  chairs in England. When they were finished, I made a present of
  them to her majesty; who kept them in her cabinet, and used to
  show them for curiosities, as indeed they were the wonder of
  every one that beheld them. The queen would have me sit upon
  one of these chairs, but I absolutely refused to obey her, protesting
  I would rather die than place a dishonourable part of my body on
  those precious hairs, that once adorned her majesty's head. Of
  these hairs (as I had always a mechanical genius) I likewise made
  a neat little purse, about five feet long, with her majesty's name
  deciphered in gold letters, which I gave to Glumdalclitch, by the
  queen's consent. To say the truth, it was more for show than use,
  being not of strength to bear the weight of the larger coins, and
  therefore she kept nothing in it but some little toys that girls are
  fond of.
  The king, who delighted in music, had frequent concerts at court,
  to which I was sometimes carried, and set in my box on a table to
  hear them: but the noise was so great that I could hardly
  distinguish the tunes. I am confident that all the drums and
  trumpets of a royal army, beating and sounding together just at.
  your ears, could not equal it. My practice was to have my box
  removed from the place where the performers sat, as far as I
  could, then to shut the doors and windows of it, and draw the
  window curtains; after which I found their music not disagreeable.
  I had learned in my youth to play a little upon the spinet.
  Glumdalclitch kept one in her chamber, and a master attended
  twice a-week to teach her: I called it a spinet, because it somewhat
  resembled that instrument, and was played upon in the same
  manner. A fancy came into my head, that I would entertain the
  king and queen with an English tune upon this instrument. But
  this appeared extremely difficult: for the spinet was near sixty feet
  long, each key being almost a foot wide, so that with my arms
  extended I could not reach to above five keys, and to press them
  down required a good smart stroke with my fist, which would be
  too great a labour, and to no purpose. The method I contrived was
  this: I prepared two round sticks, about the bigness of common
  cudgels; they were thicker at one end than the other, and I covered
  the thicker ends with pieces of a mouse's skin, that by rapping on
  them I might neither damage the tops of the keys nor interrupt the
  sound. Before the spinet a bench was placed, about four feet
  below the keys, and I was put upon the bench. I ran sideling upon
  it, that way and this, as fast as I could, banging the proper keys
  with my two sticks, and made a shift to play a jig, to the great
  satisfaction of both their majesties; but it was the most violent
  exercise I ever underwent; and yet I could not strike above sixteen
  keys, nor consequently play the bass and treble together, as other
  artists do; which was a great disadvantage to my performance..
  The king, who, as I before observed, was a prince of excellent
  understanding, would frequently order that I should be brought in
  my box, and set upon the table in his closet: he would then
  command me to bring one of my chairs out of the box, and sit
  down within three yards distance upon the top of the cabinet,
  which brought me almost to a level with his face. In this manner I
  had several conversations with him. I one day took the freedom to
  tell his majesty, "that the contempt he discovered towards Europe,
  and the rest of the world, did not seem answerable to those
  excellent qualities of mind that he was master of; that reason did
  not extend itself with the bulk of the body; on the contrary, we
  observed in our country, that the tallest persons were usually the
  least provided with it; that among other animals, bees and ants had
  the reputation of more industry, art, and sagacity, than many of the
  larger kinds; and that, as inconsiderable as he took me to be, I
  hoped I might live to do his majesty some signal service." The
  king heard me with attention, and began to conceive a much better
  opinion of me than he had ever before. He desired "I would give
  him as exact an account of the government of England as I
  possibly could; because, as fond as princes commonly are of their
  own customs (for so he conjectured of other monarchs, by my
  former discourses), he should be glad to hear of any thing that
  might deserve imitation."
  Imagine with thyself, courteous reader, how often I then wished
  for the tongue of Demosthenes or Cicero, that might have enabled
  me to celebrate the praise of my own dear native country in a style
  equal to its merits and felicity..
  I began my discourse by informing his majesty, that our
  dominions consisted of two islands, which composed three
  mighty kingdoms, under one sovereign, beside our plantations in
  America. I dwelt long upon the fertility of our soil, and the
  temperature of our climate. I then spoke at large upon the
  constitution of an English parliament; partly made up of an
  illustrious body called the House of Peers; persons of the noblest
  blood, and of the most ancient and ample patrimonies. I described
  that extraordinary care always taken of their education in arts and
  arms, to qualify them for being counsellors both to the king and
  kingdom; to have a share in the legislature; to be members of the
  highest court of judicature, whence there can be no appeal; and to
  be champions always ready for the defence of their prince and
  country, by their valour, conduct, and fidelity. That these were the
  ornament and bulwark of the kingdom, worthy followers of their
  most renowned ancestors, whose honour had been the reward of
  their virtue, from which their posterity were never once known to
  degenerate. To these were joined several holy persons, as part of
  that assembly, under the title of bishops, whose peculiar business
  is to take care of religion, and of those who instruct the people
  therein. These were searched and sought out through the whole
  nation, by the prince and his wisest counsellors, among such of
  the priesthood as were most deservedly distinguished by the
  sanctity of their lives, and the depth of their erudition; who were
  indeed the spiritual fathers of the clergy and the people.
  That the other part of the parliament consisted of an assembly
  called the House of Commons, who were all principal gentlemen,
  freely picked and culled out by the people themselves, for their.
  great abilities and love of their country, to represent the wisdom of
  the whole nation. And that these two bodies made up the most
  august assembly in Europe; to whom, in conjunction with the
  prince, the whole legislature is committed.
  I then descended to the courts of justice; over which the judges,
  those venerable sages and interpreters of the law, presided, for
  determining the disputed rights and properties of men, as well as
  for the punishment of vice and protection of innocence. I
  mentioned the prudent management of our treasury; the valour
  and achievements of our forces, by sea and land. I computed the
  number of our people, by reckoning how many millions there
  might be of each religious sect, or political party among us. I did
  not omit even our sports and pastimes, or any other particular
  which I thought might redound to the honour of my country. And I
  finished all with a brief historical account of affairs and events in
  England for about a hundred years past.
  This conversation was not ended under five audiences, each of
  several hours; and the king heard the whole with great attention,
  frequently taking notes of what I spoke, as well as memorandums
  of what questions he intended to ask me.
  When I had put an end to these long discources, his majesty, in a
  sixth audience, consulting his notes, proposed many doubts,
  queries, and objections, upon every article. He asked, "What
  methods were used to cultivate the minds and bodies of our young
  nobility, and in what kind of business they commonly spent the
  first and teachable parts of their lives? What course was taken to.
  supply that assembly, when any noble family became extinct?
  What qualifications were necessary in those who are to be created
  new lords: whether the humour of the prince, a sum of money to a
  court lady, or a design of strengthening a party opposite to the
  public interest, ever happened to be the motive in those
  advancements? What share of knowledge these lords had in the
  laws of their country, and how they came by it, so as to enable
  them to decide the properties of their fellow-subjects in the last
  resort? Whether they were always so free from avarice,
  partialities, or want, that a bribe, or some other sinister view,
  could have no place among them? Whether those holy lords I
  spoke of were always promoted to that rank upon account of their
  knowledge in religious matters, and the sanctity of their lives; had
  never been compliers with the times, while they were common
  priests; or slavish prostitute chaplains to some nobleman, whose
  opinions they continued servilely to follow, after they were
  admitted into that assembly?"
  He then desired to know, "What arts were practised in electing
  those whom I called commoners: whether a stranger, with a strong
  purse, might not influence the vulgar voters to choose him before
  their own landlord, or the most considerable gentleman in the
  neighbourhood? How it came to pass, that people were so
  violently bent upon getting into this assembly, which I allowed to
  be a great trouble and expense, often to the ruin of their families,
  without any salary or pension? because this appeared such an
  exalted strain of virtue and public spirit, that his majesty seemed
  to doubt it might possibly not be always sincere.".
  And he desired to know, "Whether such zealous gentlemen could
  have any views of refunding themselves for the charges and
  trouble they were at by sacrificing the public good to the designs
  of a weak and vicious prince, in conjunction with a corrupted
  ministry?" He multiplied his questions, and sifted me thoroughly
  upon every part of this head, proposing numberless inquiries and
  objections, which I think it not prudent or convenient to repeat.
  Upon what I said in relation to our courts of justice, his majesty
  desired to be satisfied in several points: and this I was the better
  able to do, having been formerly almost ruined by a long suit in
  chancery, which was decreed for me with costs. He asked, "What
  time was usually spent in determining between right and wrong,
  and what degree of expense? Whether advocates and orators had
  liberty to plead in causes manifestly known to be unjust,
  vexatious, or oppressive? Whether party, in religion or politics,
  were observed to be of any weight in the scale of justice? Whether
  those pleading orators were persons educated in the general
  knowledge of equity, or only in provincial, national, and other
  local customs? Whether they or their judges had any part in
  penning those laws, which they assumed the liberty of
  interpreting, and glossing upon at their pleasure? Whether they
  had ever, at different times, pleaded for and against the same
  cause, and cited precedents to prove contrary opinions? Whether
  they were a rich or a poor corporation? Whether they received any
  pecuniary reward for pleading, or delivering their opinions? And
  particularly, whether they were ever admitted as members in the
  lower senate?".
  He fell next upon the management of our treasury; and said, "he
  thought my memory had failed me, because I computed our taxes
  at about five or six millions a-year, and when I came to mention
  the issues, he found they sometimes amounted to more than
  double; for the notes he had taken were very particular in this
  point, because he hoped, as he told me, that the knowledge of our
  conduct might be useful to him, and he could not be deceived in
  his calculations. But, if what I told him were true, he was still at a
  loss how a kingdom could run out of its estate, like a private
  person." He asked me, "who were our creditors; and where we
  found money to pay them?" He wondered to hear me talk of such
  chargeable and expensive wars; "that certainly we must be a
  quarrelsome people, or live among very bad neighbours, and that
  our generals must needs be richer than our kings." He asked, what
  business we had out of our own islands, unless upon the score of
  trade, or treaty, or to defend the coasts with our fleet?" Above all,
  he was amazed to hear me talk of a mercenary standing army, in
  the midst of peace, and among a free people. He said, "if we were
  governed by our own consent, in the persons of our
  representatives, he could not imagine of whom we were afraid, or
  against whom we were to fight; and would hear my opinion,
  whether a private man's house might not be better defended by
  himself, his children, and family, than by half-a-dozen rascals,
  picked up at a venture in the streets for small wages, who might
  get a hundred times more by cutting their throats?"
  He laughed at my "odd kind of arithmetic," as he was pleased to
  call it, "in reckoning the numbers of our people, by a computation
  drawn from the several sects among us, in religion and politics.".
  He said, "he knew no reason why those, who entertain opinions
  prejudicial to the public, should be obliged to change, or should
  not be obliged to conceal them. And as it was tyranny in any
  government to require the first, so it was weakness not to enforce
  the second: for a man may be allowed to keep poisons in his
  closet, but not to vend them about for cordials."
  He observed, "that among the diversions of our nobility and
  gentry, I had mentioned gaming: he desired to know at what age
  this entertainment was usually taken up, and when it was laid
  down; how much of their time it employed; whether it ever went
  so high as to affect their fortunes; whether mean, vicious people,
  by their dexterity in that art, might not arrive at great riches, and
  sometimes keep our very nobles in dependence, as well as
  habituate them to vile companions, wholly take them from the
  improvement of their minds, and force them, by the losses they
  received, to learn and practise that infamous dexterity upon
  others?"
  He was perfectly astonished with the historical account gave him
  of our affairs during the last century; protesting "it was only a
  heap of conspiracies, rebellions, murders, massacres, revolutions,
  banishments, the very worst effects that avarice, faction,
  hypocrisy, perfidiousness, cruelty, rage, madness, hatred, envy,
  lust, malice, and ambition, could produce."
  His majesty, in another audience, was at the pains to recapitulate
  the sum of all I had spoken; compared the questions he made with
  the answers I had given; then taking me into his hands, and.
  stroking me gently, delivered himself in these words, which I shall
  never forget, nor the manner he spoke them in: "My little friend
  Grildrig, you have made a most admirable panegyric upon your
  country; you have clearly proved, that ignorance, idleness, and
  vice, are the proper ingredients for qualifying a legislator; that
  laws are best explained, interpreted, and applied, by those whose
  interest and abilities lie in perverting, confounding, and eluding
  them. I observe among you some lines of an institution, which, in
  its original, might have been tolerable, but these half erased, and
  the rest wholly blurred and blotted by corruptions. It does not
  appear, from all you have said, how any one perfection is required
  toward the procurement of any one station among you; much less,
  that men are ennobled on account of their virtue; that priests are
  advanced for their piety or learning; soldiers, for their conduct or
  valour; judges, for their integrity; senators, for the love of their
  country; or counsellors for their wisdom. As for yourself,"
  continued the king, "who have spent the greatest part of your life
  in travelling, I am well disposed to hope you may hitherto have
  escaped many vices of your country. But by what I have gathered
  from your own relation, and the answers I have with much pains
  wrung and extorted from you, I cannot but conclude the bulk of
  your natives to be the most pernicious race of little odious vermin
  that nature ever suffered to crawl upon the surface of the earth.".
  
  
CHAPTER VII.
  
  [The author's love of his country. He makes a proposal of much
  advantage to the king, which is rejected. The king's great
  ignorance in politics. The learning of that country very imperfect
  and confined. The laws, and military affairs, and parties in the
  state.]
  Nothing but an extreme love of truth could have hindered me
  from concealing this part of my story. It was in vain to discover
  my resentments, which were always turned into ridicule; and I
  was forced to rest with patience, while my noble and beloved
  country was so injuriously treated. I am as heartily sorry as any of
  my readers can possibly be, that such an occasion was given: but
  this prince happened to be so curious and inquisitive upon every
  particular, that it could not consist either with gratitude or good
  manners, to refuse giving him what satisfaction I was able. Yet
  thus much I may be allowed to say in my own vindication, that I
  artfully eluded many of his questions, and gave to every point a
  more favourable turn, by many degrees, than the strictness of truth
  would allow. For I have always borne that laudable partiality to
  my own country, which Dionysius Halicarnassensis, with so much
  justice, recommends to an historian: I would hide the frailties and
  deformities of my political mother, and place her virtues and.
  beauties in the most advantageous light. This was my sincere
  endeavour in those many discourses I had with that monarch,
  although it unfortunately failed of success.
  But great allowances should be given to a king, who lives wholly
  secluded from the rest of the world, and must therefore be
  altogether unacquainted with the manners and customs that most
  prevail in other nations: the want of which knowledge will ever
  produce many prejudices, and a certain narrowness of thinking,
  from which we, and the politer countries of Europe, are wholly
  exempted. And it would be hard indeed, if so remote a prince's
  notions of virtue and vice were to be offered as a standard for all
  mankind.
  To confirm what I have now said, and further to show the
  miserable effects of a confined education, I shall here insert a
  passage, which will hardly obtain belief. In hopes to ingratiate
  myself further into his majesty's favour, I told him of "an
  invention, discovered between three and four hundred years ago,
  to make a certain powder, into a heap of which, the smallest spark
  of fire falling, would kindle the whole in a moment, although it
  were as big as a mountain, and make it all fly up in the air
  together, with a noise and agitation greater than thunder. That a
  proper quantity of this powder rammed into a hollow tube of brass
  or iron, according to its bigness, would drive a ball of iron or lead,
  with such violence and speed, as nothing was able to sustain its
  force. That the largest balls thus discharged, would not only
  destroy whole ranks of an army at once, but batter the strongest
  walls to the ground, sink down ships, with a thousand men in.
  each, to the bottom of the sea, and when linked together by a
  chain, would cut through masts and rigging, divide hundreds of
  bodies in the middle, and lay all waste before them. That we often
  put this powder into large hollow balls of iron, and discharged
  them by an engine into some city we were besieging, which would
  rip up the pavements, tear the houses to pieces, burst and throw
  splinters on every side, dashing out the brains of all who came
  near. That I knew the ingredients very well, which were cheap and
  common; I understood the manner of compounding them, and
  could direct his workmen how to make those tubes, of a size
  proportionable to all other things in his majesty's kingdom, and
  the largest need not be above a hundred feet long; twenty or thirty
  of which tubes, charged with the proper quantity of powder and
  balls, would batter down the walls of the strongest town in his
  dominions in a few hours, or destroy the whole metropolis, if ever
  it should pretend to dispute his absolute commands." This I
  humbly offered to his majesty, as a small tribute of
  acknowledgment, in turn for so many marks that I had received,
  of his royal favour and protection.
  The king was struck with horror at the description I had given of
  those terrible engines, and the proposal I had made. "He was
  amazed, how so impotent and grovelling an insect as I" (these
  were his expressions) "could entertain such inhuman ideas, and in
  so familiar a manner, as to appear wholly unmoved at all the
  scenes of blood and desolation which I had painted as the
  common effects of those destructive machines; whereof," he said,
  "some evil genius, enemy to mankind, must have been the first
  contriver. As for himself, he protested, that although few things.
  delighted him so much as new discoveries in art or in nature, yet
  he would rather lose half his kingdom, than be privy to such a
  secret; which he commanded me, as I valued any life, never to
  mention any more."
  A strange effect of narrow principles and views! that a prince
  possessed of every quality which procures veneration, love, and
  esteem; of strong parts, great wisdom, and profound learning,
  endowed with admirable talents, and almost adored by his
  subjects, should, from a nice, unnecessary scruple, whereof in
  Europe we can have no conception, let slip an opportunity put into
  his hands that would have made him absolute master of the lives,
  the liberties, and the fortunes of his people! Neither do I say this,
  with the least intention to detract from the many virtues of that
  excellent king, whose character, I am sensible, will, on this
  account, be very much lessened in the opinion of an English
  reader: but I take this defect among them to have risen from their
  ignorance, by not having hitherto reduced politics into a science,
  as the more acute wits of Europe have done. For, I remember very
  well, in a discourse one day with the king, when I happened to
  say, "there were several thousand books among us written upon
  the art of government," it gave him (directly contrary to my
  intention) a very mean opinion of our understandings. He
  professed both to abominate and despise all mystery, refinement,
  and intrigue, either in a prince or a minister. He could not tell what
  I meant by secrets of state, where an enemy, or some rival nation,
  were not in the case. He confined the knowledge of governing
  within very narrow bounds, to common sense and reason, to
  justice and lenity, to the speedy determination of civil and.
  criminal causes; with some other obvious topics, which are not
  worth considering. And he gave it for his opinion, "that whoever
  could make two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, to grow upon
  a spot of ground where only one grew before, would deserve
  better of mankind, and do more essential service to his country,
  than the whole race of politicians put together."
  The learning of this people is very defective, consisting only in
  morality, history, poetry, and mathematics, wherein they must be
  allowed to excel. But the last of these is wholly applied to what
  may be useful in life, to the improvement of agriculture, and all
  mechanical arts; so that among us, it would be little esteemed.
  And as to ideas, entities, abstractions, and transcendentals, I could
  never drive the least conception into their heads.
  No law in that country must exceed in words the number of letters
  in their alphabet, which consists only of two and twenty. But
  indeed few of them extend even to that length. They are expressed
  in the most plain and simple terms, wherein those people are not
  mercurial enough to discover above one interpretation: and to
  write a comment upon any law, is a capital crime. As to the
  decision of civil causes, or proceedings against criminals, their
  precedents are so few, that they have little reason to boast of any
  extraordinary skill in either.
  They have had the art of printing, as well as the Chinese, time out
  of mind: but their libraries are not very large; for that of the king,
  which is reckoned the largest, does not amount to above a
  thousand volumes, placed in a gallery of twelve hundred feet.
  long, whence I had liberty to borrow what books I pleased. The
  queen's joiner had contrived in one of Glumdalclitch's rooms, a
  kind of wooden machine five-and-twenty feet high, formed like a
  standing ladder; the steps were each fifty feet long. It was indeed a
  moveable pair of stairs, the lowest end placed at ten feet distance
  from the wall of the chamber. The book I had a mind to read, was
  put up leaning against the wall: I first mounted to the upper step of
  the ladder, and turning my face towards the book, began at the top
  of the page, and so walking to the right and left about eight or ten
  paces, according to the length of the lines, till I had gotten a little
  below the level of mine eyes, and then descending gradually till I
  came to the bottom: after which I mounted again, and began the
  other page in the same manner, and so turned over the leaf, which
  I could easily do with both my hands, for it was as thick and stiff
  as a pasteboard, and in the largest folios not above eighteen or
  twenty feet long.
  Their style is clear, masculine, and smooth, but not florid; for they
  avoid nothing more than multiplying unnecessary words, or using
  various expressions. I have perused many of their books,
  especially those in history and morality. Among the rest, I was
  much diverted with a little old treatise, which always lay in
  Glumdalclitch's bed chamber, and belonged to her governess, a
  grave elderly gentlewoman, who dealt in writings of morality and
  devotion. The book treats of the weakness of human kind, and is
  in little esteem, except among the women and the vulgar.
  However, I was curious to see what an author of that country
  could say upon such a subject. This writer went through all the
  usual topics of European moralists, showing "how diminutive,.
  contemptible, and helpless an animal was man in his own nature;
  how unable to defend himself from inclemencies of the air, or the
  fury of wild beasts: how much he was excelled by one creature in
  strength, by another in speed, by a third in foresight, by a fourth in
  industry." He added, "that nature was degenerated in these latter
  declining ages of the world, and could now produce only small
  abortive births, in comparison of those in ancient times." He said
  "it was very reasonable to think, not only that the species of men
  were originally much larger, but also that there must have been
  giants in former ages; which, as it is asserted by history and
  tradition, so it has been confirmed by huge bones and skulls,
  casually dug up in several parts of the kingdom, far exceeding the
  common dwindled race of men in our days." He argued, "that the
  very laws of nature absolutely required we should have been
  made, in the beginning of a size more large and robust; not so
  liable to destruction from every little accident, of a tile falling
  from a house, or a stone cast from the hand of a boy, or being
  drowned in a little brook." From this way of reasoning, the author
  drew several moral applications, useful in the conduct of life, but
  needless here to repeat. For my own part, I could not avoid
  reflecting how universally this talent was spread, of drawing
  lectures in morality, or indeed rather matter of discontent and
  repining, from the quarrels we raise with nature. And I believe,
  upon a strict inquiry, those quarrels might be shown as ill-grounded
  among us as they are among that people.
  As to their military affairs, they boast that the king's army consists
  of a hundred and seventy-six thousand foot, and thirty-two
  thousand horse: if that may be called an army, which is made up.
  of tradesmen in the several cities, and farmers in the country,
  whose commanders are only the nobility and gentry, without pay
  or reward. They are indeed perfect enough in their exercises, and
  under very good discipline, wherein I saw no great merit; for how
  should it be otherwise, where every farmer is under the command
  of his own landlord, and every citizen under that of the principal
  men in his own city, chosen after the manner of Venice, by ballot?
  I have often seen the militia of Lorbrulgrud drawn out to exercise,
  in a great field near the city of twenty miles square. They were in
  all not above twenty-five thousand foot, and six thousand horse;
  but it was impossible for me to compute their number, considering
  the space of ground they took up. A cavalier, mounted on a large
  steed, might be about ninety feet high. I have seen this whole
  body of horse, upon a word of command, draw their swords at
  once, and brandish them in the air.
  Imagination can figure nothing so grand, so surprising, and so
  astonishing! it looked as if ten thousand flashes of lightning were
  darting at the same time from every quarter of the sky.
  I was curious to know how this prince, to whose dominions there
  is no access from any other country, came to think of armies, or to
  teach his people the practice of military discipline. But I was soon
  informed, both by conversation and reading their histories; for, in
  the course of many ages, they have been troubled with the same
  disease to which the whole race of mankind is subject; the nobility
  often contending for power, the people for liberty, and the king for
  absolute dominion. All which, however happily tempered by the.
  laws of that kingdom, have been sometimes violated by each of
  the three parties, and have more than once occasioned civil wars;
  the last whereof was happily put an end to by this prince's grand-father,
  in a general composition; and the militia, then settled with
  common consent, has been ever since kept in the strictest duty..
  
  
CHAPTER VIII.
  
  [The king and queen make a progress to the frontiers. The author
  attends them. The manner in which he leaves the country very
  particularly related. He returns to England.]
  I had always a strong impulse that I should some time recover my
  liberty, though it was impossible to conjecture by what means, or
  to form any project with the least hope of succeeding. The ship in
  which I sailed, was the first ever known to be driven within sight
  of that coast, and the king had given strict orders, that if at any
  time another appeared, it should be taken ashore, and with all its
  crew and passengers brought in a tumbril to Lorbrulgrud. He was
  strongly bent to get me a woman of my own size, by whom I
  might propagate the breed: but I think I should rather have died
  than undergone the disgrace of leaving a posterity to be kept in
  cages, like tame canary-birds, and perhaps, in time, sold about the
  kingdom, to persons of quality, for curiosities. I was indeed
  treated with much kindness: I was the favourite of a great king
  and queen, and the delight of the whole court; but it was upon
  such a foot as ill became the dignity of humankind. I could never
  forget those domestic pledges I had left behind me. I wanted to be
  among people, with whom I could converse upon even terms, and
  walk about the streets and fields without being afraid of being trod.
  to death like a frog or a young puppy. But my deliverance came
  sooner than I expected, and in a manner not very common; the
  whole story and circumstances of which I shall faithfully relate.
  I had now been two years in this country; and about the beginning
  of the third, Glumdalclitch and I attended the king and queen, in a
  progress to the south coast of the kingdom. I was carried, as usual,
  in my travelling-box, which as I have already described, was a
  very convenient closet, of twelve feet wide. And I had ordered a
  hammock to be fixed, by silken ropes from the four corners at the
  top, to break the jolts, when a servant carried me before him on
  horseback, as I sometimes desired; and would often sleep in my
  hammock, while we were upon the road. On the roof of my closet,
  not directly over the middle of the hammock, I ordered the joiner
  to cut out a hole of a foot square, to give me air in hot weather, as
  I slept; which hole I shut at pleasure with a board that drew
  backward and forward through a groove.
  When we came to our journey's end, the king thought proper to
  pass a few days at a palace he has near Flanflasnic, a city within
  eighteen English miles of the seaside. Glumdalclitch and I were
  much fatigued: I had gotten a small cold, but the poor girl was so
  ill as to be confined to her chamber. I longed to see the ocean,
  which must be the only scene of my escape, if ever it should
  happen. I pretended to be worse than I really was, and desired
  leave to take the fresh air of the sea, with a page, whom I was very
  fond of, and who had sometimes been trusted with me. I shall
  never forget with what unwillingness Glumdalclitch consented,
  nor the strict charge she gave the page to be careful of me,.
  bursting at the same time into a flood of tears, as if she had some
  forboding of what was to happen. The boy took me out in my box,
  about half an hours walk from the palace, towards the rocks on the
  seashore. I ordered him to set me down, and lifting up one of my
  sashes, cast many a wistful melancholy look towards the sea. I
  found myself not very well, and told the page that I had a mind to
  take a nap in my hammock, which I hoped would do me good. I
  got in, and the boy shut the window close down, to keep out the
  cold. I soon fell asleep, and all I can conjecture is, while I slept,
  the page, thinking no danger could happen, went among the rocks
  to look for birds' eggs, having before observed him from my
  window searching about, and picking up one or two in the clefts.
  Be that as it will, I found myself suddenly awaked with a violent
  pull upon the ring, which was fastened at the top of my box for the
  conveniency of carriage. I felt my box raised very high in the air,
  and then borne forward with prodigious speed. The first jolt had
  like to have shaken me out of my hammock, but afterward the
  motion was easy enough. I called out several times, as loud as I
  could raise my voice, but all to no purpose. I looked towards my
  windows, and could see nothing but the clouds and sky. I heard a
  noise just over my head, like the clapping of wings, and then
  began to perceive the woful condition I was in; that some eagle
  had got the ring of my box in his beak, with an intent to let it fall
  on a rock, like a tortoise in a shell, and then pick out my body, and
  devour it: for the sagacity and smell of this bird enables him to
  discover his quarry at a great distance, though better concealed
  than I could be within a two-inch board..
  In a little time, I observed the noise and flutter of wings to
  increase very fast, and my box was tossed up and down, like a
  sign in a windy day. I heard several bangs or buffets, as I thought
  given to the eagle (for such I am certain it must have been that
  held the ring of my box in his beak), and then, all on a sudden, felt
  myself falling perpendicularly down, for above a minute, but with
  such incredible swiftness, that I almost lost my breath. My fall
  was stopped by a terrible squash, that sounded louder to my ears
  than the cataract of Niagara; after which, I was quite in the dark
  for another minute, and then my box began to rise so high, that I
  could see light from the tops of the windows. I now perceived I
  was fallen into the sea. My box, by the weight of my body, the
  goods that were in, and the broad plates of iron fixed for strength
  at the four corners of the top and bottom, floated about five feet
  deep in water. I did then, and do now suppose, that the eagle
  which flew away with my box was pursued by two or three others,
  and forced to let me drop, while he defended himself against the
  rest, who hoped to share in the prey. The plates of iron fastened at
  the bottom of the box (for those were the strongest) preserved the
  balance while it fell, and hindered it from being broken on the
  surface of the water. Every joint of it was well grooved; and the
  door did not move on hinges, but up and down like a sash, which
  kept my closet so tight that very little water came in. I got with
  much difficulty out of my hammock, having first ventured to draw
  back the slip-board on the roof already mentioned, contrived on
  purpose to let in air, for want of which I found myself almost
  stifled..
  How often did I then wish myself with my dear Glumdalclitch,
  from whom one single hour had so far divided me! And I may say
  with truth, that in the midst of my own misfortunes I could not
  forbear lamenting my poor nurse, the grief she would suffer for
  my loss, the displeasure of the queen, and the ruin of her fortune.
  Perhaps many travellers have not been under greater difficulties
  and distress than I was at this juncture, expecting every moment to
  see my box dashed to pieces, or at least overset by the first violent
  blast, or rising wave. A breach in one single pane of glass would
  have been immediate death: nor could any thing have preserved
  the windows, but the strong lattice wires placed on the outside,
  against accidents in travelling. I saw the water ooze in at several
  crannies, although the leaks were not considerable, and I
  endeavoured to stop them as well as I could. I was not able to lift
  up the roof of my closet, which otherwise I certainly should have
  done, and sat on the top of it; where I might at least preserve
  myself some hours longer, than by being shut up (as I may call it)
  in the hold. Or if I escaped these dangers for a day or two, what
  could I expect but a miserable death of cold and hunger? I was
  four hours under these circumstances, expecting, and indeed
  wishing, every moment to be my last.
  I have already told the reader that there were two strong staples
  fixed upon that side of my box which had no window, and into
  which the servant, who used to carry me on horseback, would put
  a leathern belt, and buckle it about his waist. Being in this
  disconsolate state, I heard, or at least thought I heard, some kind
  of grating noise on that side of my box where the staples were
  fixed; and soon after I began to fancy that the box was pulled or.
  towed along the sea; for I now and then felt a sort of tugging,
  which made the waves rise near the tops of my windows, leaving
  me almost in the dark. This gave me some faint hopes of relief,
  although I was not able to imagine how it could be brought about.
  I ventured to unscrew one of my chairs, which were always
  fastened to the floor; and having made a hard shift to screw it
  down again, directly under the slipping-board that I had lately
  opened, I mounted on the chair, and putting my mouth as near as I
  could to the hole, I called for help in a loud voice, and in all the
  languages I understood. I then fastened my handkerchief to a stick
  I usually carried, and thrusting it up the hole, waved it several
  times in the air, that if any boat or ship were near, the seamen
  might conjecture some unhappy mortal to be shut up in the box.
  I found no effect from all I could do, but plainly perceived my
  closet to be moved along; and in the space of an hour, or better,
  that side of the box where the staples were, and had no windows,
  struck against something that was hard. I apprehended it to be a
  rock, and found myself tossed more than ever. I plainly heard a
  noise upon the cover of my closet, like that of a cable, and the
  grating of it as it passed through the ring. I then found myself
  hoisted up, by degrees, at least three feet higher than I was before.
  Whereupon I again thrust up my stick and handkerchief, calling
  for help till I was almost hoarse. In return to which, I heard a great
  shout repeated three times, giving me such transports of joy as are
  not to be conceived but by those who feel them. I now heard a
  trampling over my head, and somebody calling through the hole
  with a loud voice, in the English tongue, "If there be any body
  below, let them speak." I answered, "I was an Englishman, drawn.
  by ill fortune into the greatest calamity that ever any creature
  underwent, and begged, by all that was moving, to be delivered
  out of the dungeon I was in." The voice replied, "I was safe, for
  my box was fastened to their ship; and the carpenter should
  immediately come and saw a hole in the cover, large enough to
  pull me out." I answered, "that was needless, and would take up
  too much time; for there was no more to be done, but let one of the
  crew put his finger into the ring, and take the box out of the sea
  into the ship, and so into the captain's cabin." Some of them, upon
  hearing me talk so wildly, thought I was mad: others laughed; for
  indeed it never came into my head, that I was now got among
  people of my own stature and strength. The carpenter came, and
  in a few minutes sawed a passage about four feet square, then let
  down a small ladder, upon which I mounted, and thence was taken
  into the ship in a very weak condition.
  The sailors were all in amazement, and asked me a thousand
  questions, which I had no inclination to answer. I was equally
  confounded at the sight of so many pigmies, for such I took them
  to be, after having so long accustomed mine eyes to the monstrous
  objects I had left. But the captain, Mr. Thomas Wilcocks, an
  honest worthy Shropshire man, observing I was ready to faint,
  took me into his cabin, gave me a cordial to comfort me, and
  made me turn in upon his own bed, advising me to take a little
  rest, of which I had great need. Before I went to sleep, I gave him
  to understand that I had some valuable furniture in my box, too
  good to be lost: a fine hammock, a handsome field-bed, two
  chairs, a table, and a cabinet; that my closet was hung on all sides,
  or rather quilted, with silk and cotton; that if he would let one of.
  the crew bring my closet into his cabin, I would open it there
  before him, and show him my goods. The captain, hearing me
  utter these absurdities, concluded I was raving; however (I
  suppose to pacify me) he promised to give order as I desired, and
  going upon deck, sent some of his men down into my closet,
  whence (as I afterwards found) they drew up all my goods, and
  stripped off the quilting; but the chairs, cabinet, and bedstead,
  being screwed to the floor, were much damaged by the ignorance
  of the seamen, who tore them up by force. Then they knocked off
  some of the boards for the use of the ship, and when they had got
  all they had a mind for, let the hull drop into the sea, which by
  reason of many breaches made in the bottom and sides, sunk to
  rights. And, indeed, I was glad not to have been a spectator of the
  havoc they made, because I am confident it would have sensibly
  touched me, by bringing former passages into my mind, which I
  would rather have forgot.
  I slept some hours, but perpetually disturbed with dreams of the
  place I had left, and the dangers I had escaped. However, upon
  waking, I found myself much recovered. It was now about eight
  o'clock at night, and the captain ordered supper immediately,
  thinking I had already fasted too long. He entertained me with
  great kindness, observing me not to look wildly, or talk
  inconsistently: and, when we were left alone, desired I would give
  him a relation of my travels, and by what accident I came to be set
  adrift, in that monstrous wooden chest. He said "that about twelve
  o'clock at noon, as he was looking through his glass, he spied it at
  a distance, and thought it was a sail, which he had a mind to make,
  being not much out of his course, in hopes of buying some biscuit,.
  his own beginning to fall short. That upon coming nearer, and
  finding his error, he sent out his long-boat to discover what it was;
  that his men came back in a fright, swearing they had seen a
  swimming house. That he laughed at their folly, and went himself
  in the boat, ordering his men to take a strong cable along with
  them. That the weather being calm, he rowed round me several
  times, observed my windows and wire lattices that defended
  them. That he discovered two staples upon one side, which was all
  of boards, without any passage for light. He then commanded his
  men to row up to that side, and fastening a cable to one of the
  staples, ordered them to tow my chest, as they called it, toward the
  ship. When it was there, he gave directions to fasten another cable
  to the ring fixed in the cover, and to raise up my chest with
  pulleys, which all the sailors were not able to do above two or
  three feet." He said, "they saw my stick and handkerchief thrust
  out of the hole, and concluded that some unhappy man must be
  shut up in the cavity." I asked, "whether he or the crew had seen
  any prodigious birds in the air, about the time he first discovered
  me." To which he answered, that discoursing this matter with the
  sailors while I was asleep, one of them said, he had observed three
  eagles flying towards the north, but remarked nothing of their
  being larger than the usual size:" which I suppose must be
  imputed to the great height they were at; and he could not guess
  the reason of my question. I then asked the captain, "how far he
  reckoned we might be from land?" He said, "by the best
  computation he could make, we were at least a hundred leagues."
  I assured him, "that he must be mistaken by almost half, for I had
  not left the country whence I came above two hours before I
  dropped into the sea." Whereupon he began again to think that my.
  brain was disturbed, of which he gave me a hint, and advised me
  to go to bed in a cabin he had provided. I assured him, "I was well
  refreshed with his good entertainment and company, and as much
  in my senses as ever I was in my life." He then grew serious, and
  desired to ask me freely, "whether I were not troubled in my mind
  by the consciousness of some enormous crime, for which I was
  punished, at the command of some prince, by exposing me in that
  chest; as great criminals, in other countries, have been forced to
  sea in a leaky vessel, without provisions: for although he should
  be sorry to have taken so ill a man into his ship, yet he would
  engage his word to set me safe ashore, in the first port where we
  arrived." He added, "that his suspicions were much increased by
  some very absurd speeches I had delivered at first to his sailors,
  and afterwards to himself, in relation to my closet or chest, as well
  as by my odd looks and behaviour while I was at supper."
  I begged his patience to hear me tell my story, which I faithfully
  did, from the last time I left England, to the moment he first
  discovered me. And, as truth always forces its way into rational
  minds, so this honest worthy gentleman, who had some tincture of
  learning, and very good sense, was immediately convinced of my
  candour and veracity. But further to confirm all I had said, I
  entreated him to give order that my cabinet should be brought, of
  which I had the key in my pocket; for he had already informed me
  how the seamen disposed of my closet. I opened it in his own
  presence, and showed him the small collection of rarities I made
  in the country from which I had been so strangely delivered.
  There was the comb I had contrived out of the stumps of the king's
  beard, and another of the same materials, but fixed into a paring of.
  her majesty's thumb-nail, which served for the back. There was a
  collection of needles and pins, from a foot to half a yard long; four
  wasp stings, like joiner's tacks; some combings of the queen's
  hair; a gold ring, which one day she made me a present of, in a
  most obliging manner, taking it from her little finger, and
  throwing it over my head like a collar. I desired the captain would
  please to accept this ring in return for his civilities; which he
  absolutely refused. I showed him a corn that I had cut off with my
  own hand, from a maid of honour's toe; it was about the bigness of
  Kentish pippin, and grown so hard, that when I returned England,
  I got it hollowed into a cup, and set in silver. Lastly, I desired him
  to see the breeches I had then on, which were made of a mouse's
  skin.
  I could force nothing on him but a footman's tooth, which I
  observed him to examine with great curiosity, and found he had a
  fancy for it. He received it with abundance of thanks, more than
  such a trifle could deserve. It was drawn by an unskilful surgeon,
  in a mistake, from one of Glumdalclitch's men, who was afflicted
  with the tooth-ache, but it was as sound as any in his head. I got it
  cleaned, and put it into my cabinet. It was about a foot long, and
  four inches in diameter.
  The captain was very well satisfied with this plain relation I had
  given him, and said, "he hoped, when we returned to England, I
  would oblige the world by putting it on paper, and making it
  public." My answer was, "that we were overstocked with books of
  travels: that nothing could now pass which was not extraordinary;
  wherein I doubted some authors less consulted truth, than their.
  own vanity, or interest, or the diversion of ignorant readers; that
  my story could contain little beside common events, without those
  ornamental descriptions of strange plants, trees, birds, and other
  animals; or of the barbarous customs and idolatry of savage
  people, with which most writers abound. However, I thanked him
  for his good opinion, and promised to take the matter into my
  thoughts."
  He said "he wondered at one thing very much, which was, to hear
  me speak so loud;" asking me "whether the king or queen of that
  country were thick of hearing?" I told him, "it was what I had
  been used to for above two years past, and that I admired as much
  at the voices of him and his men, who seemed to me only to
  whisper, and yet I could hear them well enough. But, when I
  spoke in that country, it was like a man talking in the streets, to
  another looking out from the top of a steeple, unless when I was
  placed on a table, or held in any person's hand." I told him, "I had
  likewise observed another thing, that, when I first got into the
  ship, and the sailors stood all about me, I thought they were the
  most little contemptible creatures I had ever beheld." For indeed,
  while I was in that prince's country, I could never endure to look
  in a glass, after mine eyes had been accustomed to such
  prodigious objects, because the comparison gave me so
  despicable a conceit of myself. The captain said, "that while we
  were at supper, he observed me to look at every thing with a sort
  of wonder, and that I often seemed hardly able to contain my
  laughter, which he knew not well how to take, but imputed it to
  some disorder in my brain." I answered, "it was very true; and I
  wondered how I could forbear, when I saw his dishes of the size.
  of a silver three-pence, a leg of pork hardly a mouthful, a cup not
  so big as a nut-shell;" and so I went on, describing the rest of his
  household-stuff and provisions, after the same manner. For,
  although he queen had ordered a little equipage of all things
  necessary for me, while I was in her service, yet my ideas were
  wholly taken up with what I saw on every side of me, and I
  winked at my own littleness, as people do at their own faults. The
  captain understood my raillery very well, and merrily replied with
  the old English proverb, "that he doubted mine eyes were bigger
  than my belly, for he did not observe my stomach so good,
  although I had fasted all day;" and, continuing in his mirth,
  protested "he would have gladly given a hundred pounds, to have
  seen my closet in the eagle's bill, and afterwards in its fall from so
  great a height into the sea; which would certainly have been a
  most astonishing object, worthy to have the description of it
  transmitted to future ages:" and the comparison of Phaeton was so
  obvious, that he could not forbear applying it, although I did not
  much admire the conceit.
  The captain having been at Tonquin, was, in his return to England,
  driven north-eastward to the latitude of 44 degrees, and longitude
  of 143. But meeting a trade-wind two days after I came on board
  him, we sailed southward a long time, and coasting New Holland,
  kept our course west-south-west, and then south-south-west, till
  we doubled the Cape of Good Hope. Our voyage was very
  prosperous, but I shall not trouble the reader with a journal of it.
  The captain called in at one or two ports, and sent in his long-boat
  for provisions and fresh water; but I never went out of the ship till
  we came into the Downs, which was on the third day of June,.
  1706, about nine months after my escape. I offered to leave my
  goods in security for payment of my freight: but the captain
  protested he would not receive one farthing. We took a kind leave
  of each other, and I made him promise he would come to see me
  at my house in Redriff. I hired a horse and guide for five shillings,
  which I borrowed of the captain.
  As I was on the road, observing the littleness of the houses, the
  trees, the cattle, and the people, I began to think myself in Lilliput.
  I was afraid of trampling on every traveller I met, and often called
  aloud to have them stand out of the way, so that I had like to have
  gotten one or two broken heads for my impertinence.
  When I came to my own house, for which I was forced to inquire,
  one of the servants opening the door, I bent down to go in, (like a
  goose under a gate,) for fear of striking my head. My wife run out
  to embrace me, but I stooped lower than her knees, thinking she
  could otherwise never be able to reach my mouth. My daughter
  kneeled to ask my blessing, but I could not see her till she arose,
  having been so long used to stand with my head and eyes erect to
  above sixty feet; and then I went to take her up with one hand by
  the waist. I looked down upon the servants, and one or two friends
  who were in the house, as if they had been pigmies and I a giant. I
  told my wife, "she had been too thrifty, for I found she had starved
  herself and her daughter to nothing." In short, I behaved myself so
  unaccountably, that they were all of the captain's opinion when he
  first saw me, and concluded I had lost my wits. This I mention as
  an instance of the great power of habit and prejudice..
  In a little time, I and my family and friends came to a right
  understanding: but my wife protested "I should never go to sea
  any more;" although my evil destiny so ordered, that she had not
  power to hinder me, as the reader may know hereafter. In the
  mean time, I here conclude the second part of my unfortunate
  voyages..
  
  
 * PART III. A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, BALNI-BARBI, LUGGNAGG, GLUBBDUBDRIB, AND JAPAN * 
  
  
  
CHAPTER I.
  
  [The author sets out on his third voyage. Is taken by pirates. The
  malice of a Dutchman. His arrival at an island. He is received into
  Laputa.]
  I had not been at home above ten days, when Captain William
  Robinson, a Cornish man, commander of the Hopewell, a stout
  ship of three hundred tons, came to my house. I had formerly been
  surgeon of another ship where he was master, and a fourth part
  owner, in a voyage to the Levant. He had always treated me more
  like a brother, than an inferior officer; and, hearing of my arrival,
  made me a visit, as I apprehended only out of friendship, for
  nothing passed more than what is usual after long absences. But
  repeating his visits often, expressing his joy to find I me in good
  health, asking, "whether I were now settled for life?" adding, "that
  he intended a voyage to the East Indies in two months," at last he
  plainly invited me, though with some apologies, to be surgeon of
  the ship; "that I should have another surgeon under me, beside our
  two mates; that my salary should be double to the usual pay; and
  that having experienced my knowledge in sea-affairs to be at least
  equal to his, he would enter into any engagement to follow my
  advice, as much as if I had shared in the command.".
  He said so many other obliging things, and I knew him to be so
  honest a man, that I could not reject this proposal; the thirst I had
  of seeing the world, notwithstanding my past misfortunes,
  continuing as violent as ever. The only difficulty that remained,
  was to persuade my wife, whose consent however I at last
  obtained, by the prospect of advantage she proposed to her
  children.
  We set out the 5th day of August, 1706, and arrived at Fort St.
  George the 11th of April, 1707. We staid there three weeks to
  refresh our crew, many of whom were sick. From thence we went
  to Tonquin, where the captain resolved to continue some time,
  because many of the goods he intended to buy were not ready, nor
  could he expect to be dispatched in several months. Therefore, in
  hopes to defray some of the charges he must be at, he bought a
  sloop, loaded it with several sorts of goods, wherewith the
  Tonquinese usually trade to the neighbouring islands, and putting
  fourteen men on board, whereof three were of the country, he
  appointed me master of the sloop, and gave me power to traffic,
  while he transacted his affairs at Tonquin.
  We had not sailed above three days, when a great storm arising,
  we were driven five days to the north-north-east, and then to the
  east: after which we had fair weather, but still with a pretty strong
  gale from the west. Upon the tenth day we were chased by two
  pirates, who soon overtook us; for my sloop was so deep laden,
  that she sailed very slow, neither were we in a condition to defend
  ourselves..
  We were boarded about the same time by both the pirates, who
  entered furiously at the head of their men; but finding us all
  prostrate upon our faces (for so I gave order), they pinioned us
  with strong ropes, and setting guard upon us, went to search the
  sloop.
  I observed among them a Dutchman, who seemed to be of some
  authority, though he was not commander of either ship. He knew
  us by our countenances to be Englishmen, and jabbering to us in
  his own language, swore we should be tied back to back and
  thrown into the sea. I spoken Dutch tolerably well; I told him who
  we were, and begged him, in consideration of our being Christians
  and Protestants, of neighbouring countries in strict alliance, that
  he would move the captains to take some pity on us. This
  inflamed his rage; he repeated his threatenings, and turning to his
  companions, spoke with great vehemence in the Japanese
  language, as I suppose, often using the word CHRISTIANOS.
  The largest of the two pirate ships was commanded by a Japanese
  captain, who spoke a little Dutch, but very imperfectly. He came
  up to me, and after several questions, which I answered in great
  humility, he said, "we should not die." I made the captain a very
  low bow, and then, turning to the Dutchman, said, "I was sorry to
  find more mercy in a heathen, than in a brother christian." But I
  had soon reason to repent those foolish words:
  for that malicious reprobate, having often endeavoured in vain to
  persuade both the captains that I might be thrown into the sea
  (which they would not yield to, after the promise made me that I.
  should not die), however, prevailed so far, as to have a
  punishment inflicted on me, worse, in all human appearance, than
  death itself. My men were sent by an equal division into both the
  pirate ships, and my sloop new manned. As to myself, it was
  determined that I should be set adrift in a small canoe, with
  paddles and a sail, and four days' provisions; which last, the
  Japanese captain was so kind to double out of his own stores, and
  would permit no man to search me. I got down into the canoe,
  while the Dutchman, standing upon the deck, loaded me with all
  the curses and injurious terms his language could afford.
  About an hour before we saw the pirates I had taken an
  observation, and found we were in the latitude of 46 N. and
  longitude of 183. When I was at some distance from the pirates, I
  discovered, by my pocket-glass, several islands to the south-east. I
  set up my sail, the wind being fair, with a design to reach the
  nearest of those islands, which I made a shift to do, in about three
  hours. It was all rocky: however I got many birds' eggs; and,
  striking fire, I kindled some heath and dry sea-weed, by which I
  roasted my eggs. I ate no other supper, being resolved to spare my
  provisions as much as I could. I passed the night under the shelter
  of a rock, strewing some heath under me, and slept pretty well.
  The next day I sailed to another island, and thence to a third and
  fourth, sometimes using my sail, and sometimes my paddles. But,
  not to trouble the reader with a particular account of my
  distresses, let it suffice, that on the fifth day I arrived at the last
  island in my sight, which lay south-south-east to the former..
  This island was at a greater distance than I expected, and I did not
  reach it in less than five hours. I encompassed it almost round,
  before I could find a convenient place to land in; which was a
  small creek, about three times the wideness of my canoe. I found
  the island to be all rocky, only a little intermingled with tufts of
  grass, and sweet-smelling herbs. I took out my small provisions
  and after having refreshed myself, I secured the remainder in a
  cave, whereof there were great numbers; I gathered plenty of eggs
  upon the rocks, and got a quantity of dry sea-weed, and parched
  grass, which I designed to kindle the next day, and roast my eggs
  as well as I could, for I had about me my flint, steel, match, and
  burning-glass. I lay all night in the cave where I had lodged my
  provisions. My bed was the same dry grass and sea-weed which I
  intended for fuel. I slept very little, for the disquiets of my mind
  prevailed over my weariness, and kept me awake. I considered
  how impossible it was to preserve my life in so desolate a place,
  and how miserable my end must be: yet found myself so listless
  and desponding, that I had not the heart to rise; and before I could
  get spirits enough to creep out of my cave, the day was far
  advanced. I walked awhile among the rocks: the sky was perfectly
  clear, and the sun so hot, that I was forced to turn my face from it:
  when all on a sudden it became obscure, as I thought, in a manner
  very different from what happens by the interposition of a cloud. I
  turned back, and perceived a vast opaque body between me and
  the sun moving forwards towards the island: it seemed to be about
  two miles high, and hid the sun six or seven minutes; but I did not
  observe the air to be much colder, or the sky more darkened, than
  if I had stood under the shade of a mountain. As it approached
  nearer over the place where I was, it appeared to be a firm.
  substance, the bottom flat, smooth, and shining very bright, from
  the reflection of the sea below. I stood upon a height about two
  hundred yards from the shore, and saw this vast body descending
  almost to a parallel with me, at less than an English mile distance.
  I took out my pocket perspective, and could plainly discover
  numbers of people moving up and down the sides of it, which
  appeared to be sloping; but what those people where doing I was
  not able to distinguish.
  The natural love of life gave me some inward motion of joy, and I
  was ready to entertain a hope that this adventure might, some way
  or other, help to deliver me from the desolate place and condition
  I was in. But at the same time the reader can hardly conceive my
  astonishment, to behold an island in the air, inhabited by men,
  who were able (as it should seem) to raise or sink, or put it into
  progressive motion, as they pleased. But not being at that time in a
  disposition to philosophise upon this phenomenon, I rather chose
  to observe what course the island would take, because it seemed
  for awhile to stand still. Yet soon after, it advanced nearer, and I
  could see the sides of it encompassed with several gradations of
  galleries, and stairs, at certain intervals, to descend from one to
  the other. In the lowest gallery, I beheld some people fishing with
  long angling rods, and others looking on. I waved my cap (for my
  hat was long since worn out) and my handkerchief toward the
  island; and upon its nearer approach, I called and shouted with the
  utmost strength of my voice; and then looking circumspectly, I
  beheld a crowd gather to that side which was most in my view. I
  found by their pointing towards me and to each other, that they
  plainly discovered me, although they made no return to my.
  shouting. But I could see four or five men running in great haste,
  up the stairs, to the top of the island, who then disappeared. I
  happened rightly to conjecture, that these were sent for orders to
  some person in authority upon this occasion.
  The number of people increased, and, in less than half all hour, the
  island was moved and raised in such a manner, that the lowest
  gallery appeared in a parallel of less then a hundred yards distance
  from the height where I stood. I then put myself in the most
  supplicating posture, and spoke in the humblest accent, but
  received no answer. Those who stood nearest over against me,
  seemed to be persons of distinction, as I supposed by their habit.
  They conferred earnestly with each other, looking often upon me.
  At length one of them called out in a clear, polite, smooth dialect,
  not unlike in sound to the Italian: and therefore I returned an
  answer in that language, hoping at least that the cadence might be
  more agreeable to his ears. Although neither of us understood the
  other, yet my meaning was easily known, for the people saw the
  distress I was in.
  They made signs for me to come down from the rock, and go
  towards the shore, which I accordingly did; and the flying island
  being raised to a convenient height, the verge directly over me, a
  chain was let down from the lowest gallery, with a seat fastened to
  the bottom, to which I fixed myself, and was drawn up by pulleys..
  
  
CHAPTER II.
  
  [The humours and dispositions of the Laputians described. An
  account of their learning. Of the king and his court. The author's
  reception there. The inhabitants subject to fear and disquietudes.
  An account of the women.]
  Ay my alighting, I was surrounded with a crowd of people, but
  those who stood nearest seemed to be of better quality. They
  beheld me with all the marks and circumstances of wonder;
  neither indeed was I much in their debt, having never till then seen
  a race of mortals so singular in their shapes, habits, and
  countenances. Their heads were all reclined, either to the right, or
  the left; one of their eyes turned inward, and the other directly up
  to the zenith. Their outward garments were adorned with the
  figures of suns, moons, and stars; interwoven with those of
  fiddles, flutes, harps, trumpets, guitars, harpsichords, and many
  other instruments of music, unknown to us in Europe. I observed,
  here and there, many in the habit of servants, with a blown
  bladder, fastened like a flail to the end of a stick, which they
  carried in their hands. In each bladder was a small quantity of
  dried peas, or little pebbles, as I was afterwards informed. With
  these bladders, they now and then flapped the mouths and ears of
  those who stood near them, of which practice I could not then
  conceive the meaning. It seems the minds of these people are so.
  taken up with intense speculations, that they neither can speak,
  nor attend to the discourses of others, without being roused by
  some external taction upon the organs of speech and hearing; for
  which reason, those persons who are able to afford it always keep
  a flapper (the original is CLIMENOLE) in their family, as one of
  their domestics; nor ever walk abroad, or make visits, without
  him. And the business of this officer is, when two, three, or more
  persons are in company, gently to strike with his bladder the
  mouth of him who is to speak, and the right ear of him or them to
  whom the speaker addresses himself. This flapper is likewise
  employed diligently to attend his master in his walks, and upon
  occasion to give him a soft flap on his eyes; because he is always
  so wrapped up in cogitation, that he is in manifest danger of
  falling down every precipice, and bouncing his head against every
  post; and in the streets, of justling others, or being justled himself
  into the kennel.
  It was necessary to give the reader this information, without
  which he would be at the same loss with me to understand the
  proceedings of these people, as they conducted me up the stairs to
  the top of the island, and from thence to the royal palace. While
  we were ascending, they forgot several times what they were
  about, and left me to myself, till their memories were again roused
  by their flappers; for they appeared altogether unmoved by the
  sight of my foreign habit and countenance, and by the shouts of
  the vulgar, whose thoughts and minds were more disengaged..
  At last we entered the palace, and proceeded into the chamber of
  presence, where I saw the king seated on his throne, attended on
  each side by persons of prime quality. Before the throne, was a
  large table filled with globes and spheres, and mathematical
  instruments of all kinds. His majesty took not the least notice of
  us, although our entrance was not without sufficient noise, by the
  concourse of all persons belonging to the court. But he was then
  deep in a problem; and we attended at least an hour, before he
  could solve it. There stood by him, on each side, a young page
  with flaps in their hands, and when they saw he was at leisure, one
  of them gently struck his mouth, and the other his right ear; at
  which he startled like one awaked on the sudden, and looking
  towards me and the company I was in, recollected the occasion of
  our coming, whereof he had been informed before. He spoke
  some words, whereupon immediately a young man with a flap
  came up to my side, and flapped me gently on the right ear; but I
  made signs, as well as I could, that I had no occasion for such an
  instrument; which, as I afterwards found, gave his majesty, and
  the whole court, a very mean opinion of my understanding. The
  king, as far as I could conjecture, asked me several questions, and
  I addressed myself to him in all the languages I had. When it was
  found I could neither understand nor be understood, I was
  conducted by his order to an apartment in his palace (this prince
  being distinguished above all his predecessors for his hospitality
  to strangers), where two servants were appointed to attend me.
  My dinner was brought, and four persons of quality, whom I
  remembered to have seen very near the king's person, did me the
  honour to dine with me. We had two courses, of three dishes each.
  In the first course, there was a shoulder of mutton cut into an.
  equilateral triangle, a piece of beef into a rhomboides, and a
  pudding into a cycloid. The second course was two ducks trussed
  up in the form of fiddles; sausages and puddings resembling flutes
  and hautboys, and a breast of veal in the shape of a harp. The
  servants cut our bread into cones, cylinders, parallelograms, and
  several other mathematical figures.
  While we were at dinner, I made bold to ask the names of several
  things in their language, and those noble persons, by the
  assistance of their flappers, delighted to give me answers, hoping
  to raise my admiration of their great abilities if I could be brought
  to converse with them. I was soon able to call for bread and drink,
  or whatever else I wanted.
  After dinner my company withdrew, and a person was sent to me
  by the king's order, attended by a flapper. He brought with him
  pen, ink, and paper, and three or four books, giving me to
  understand by signs, that he was sent to teach me the language.
  We sat together four hours, in which time I wrote down a great
  number of words in columns, with the translations over against
  them; I likewise made a shift to learn several short sentences; for
  my tutor would order one of my servants to fetch something, to
  turn about, to make a bow, to sit, or to stand, or walk, and the like.
  Then I took down the sentence in writing. He showed me also, in
  one of his books, the figures of the sun, moon, and stars, the
  zodiac, the tropics, and polar circles, together with the
  denominations of many plains and solids. He gave me the names
  and descriptions of all the musical instruments, and the general
  terms of art in playing on each of them. After he had left me, I.
  placed all my words, with their interpretations, in alphabetical
  order. And thus, in a few days, by the help of a very faithful
  memory, I got some insight into their language. The word, which
  I interpret the flying or floating island, is in the original LAPUTA,
  whereof I could never learn the true etymology. LAP, in the old
  obsolete language, signifies high; and UNTUH, a governor; from
  which they say, by corruption, was derived LAPUTA, from
  LAPUNTUH. But I do not approve of this derivation, which
  seems to be a little strained. I ventured to offer to the learned
  among them a conjecture of my own, that Laputa was QUASI
  LAP OUTED; LAP, signifying properly, the dancing of the
  sunbeams in the sea, and OUTED, a wing; which, however, I shall
  not obtrude, but submit to the judicious reader.
  Those to whom the king had entrusted me, observing how ill I was
  clad, ordered a tailor to come next morning, and take measure for
  a suit of clothes. This operator did his office after a different
  manner from those of his trade in Europe. He first took my
  altitude by a quadrant, and then, with a rule and compasses,
  described the dimensions and outlines of my whole body, all
  which he entered upon paper; and in six days brought my clothes
  very ill made, and quite out of shape, by happening to mistake a
  figure in the calculation. But my comfort was, that I observed
  such accidents very frequent, and little regarded.
  During my confinement for want of clothes, and by an
  indisposition that held me some days longer, I much enlarged my
  dictionary; and when I went next to court, was able to understand
  many things the king spoke, and to return him some kind of.
  answers. His majesty had given orders, that the island should
  move north-east and by east, to the vertical point over Lagado, the
  metropolis of the whole kingdom below, upon the firm earth. It
  was about ninety leagues distant, and our voyage lasted four days
  and a half. I was not in the least sensible of the progressive motion
  made in the air by the island. On the second morning, about
  eleven o'clock, the king himself in person, attended by his
  nobility, courtiers, and officers, having prepared all their musical
  instruments, played on them for three hours without intermission,
  so that I was quite stunned with the noise; neither could I possibly
  guess the meaning, till my tutor informed me. He said that, the
  people of their island had their ears adapted to hear "the music of
  the spheres, which always played at certain periods, and the court
  was now prepared to bear their part, in whatever instrument they
  most excelled."
  In our journey towards Lagado, the capital city, his majesty
  ordered that the island should stop over certain towns and
  villages, from whence he might receive the petitions of his
  subjects. And to this purpose, several packthreads were let down,
  with small weights at the bottom. On these packthreads the people
  strung their petitions, which mounted up directly, like the scraps
  of paper fastened by school boys at the end of the string that holds
  their kite. Sometimes we received wine and victuals from below,
  which were drawn up by pulleys.
  The knowledge I had in mathematics, gave me great assistance in
  acquiring their phraseology, which depended much upon that
  science, and music; and in the latter I was not unskilled. Their.
  ideas are perpetually conversant in lines and figures. If they
  would, for example, praise the beauty of a woman, or any other
  animal, they describe it by rhombs, circles, parallelograms,
  ellipses, and other geometrical terms, or by words of art drawn
  from music, needless here to repeat. I observed in the king's
  kitchen all sorts of mathematical and musical instruments, after
  the figures of which they cut up the joints that were served to his
  majesty's table.
  Their houses are very ill built, the walls bevil, without one right
  angle in any apartment; and this defect arises from the contempt
  they bear to practical geometry, which they despise as vulgar and
  mechanic; those instructions they give being too refined for the
  intellects of their workmen, which occasions perpetual mistakes.
  And although they are dexterous enough upon a piece of paper, in
  the management of the rule, the pencil, and the divider, yet in the
  common actions and behaviour of life, I have not seen a more
  clumsy, awkward, and unhandy people, nor so slow and perplexed
  in their conceptions upon all other subjects, except those of
  mathematics and music. They are very bad reasoners, and
  vehemently given to opposition, unless when they happen to be of
  the right opinion, which is seldom their case. Imagination, fancy,
  and invention, they are wholly strangers to, nor have any words in
  their language, by which those ideas can be expressed; the whole
  compass of their thoughts and mind being shut up within the two
  forementioned sciences..
  Most of them, and especially those who deal in the astronomical
  part, have great faith in judicial astrology, although they are
  ashamed to own it publicly. But what I chiefly admired, and
  thought altogether unaccountable, was the strong disposition I
  observed in them towards news and politics, perpetually inquiring
  into public affairs, giving their judgments in matters of state, and
  passionately disputing every inch of a party opinion. I have indeed
  observed the same disposition among most of the mathematicians
  I have known in Europe, although I could never discover the least
  analogy between the two sciences; unless those people suppose,
  that because the smallest circle has as many degrees as the largest,
  therefore the regulation and management of the world require no
  more abilities than the handling and turning of a globe; but I
  rather take this quality to spring from a very common infirmity of
  human nature, inclining us to be most curious and conceited in
  matters where we have least concern, and for which we are least
  adapted by study or nature.
  These people are under continual disquietudes, never enjoying a
  minutes peace of mind; and their disturbances proceed from
  causes which very little affect the rest of mortals. Their
  apprehensions arise from several changes they dread in the
  celestial bodies: for instance, that the earth, by the continual
  approaches of the sun towards it, must, in course of time, be
  absorbed, or swallowed up; that the face of the sun, will, by
  degrees, be encrusted with its own effluvia, and give no more light
  to the world; that the earth very narrowly escaped a brush from
  the tail of the last comet, which would have infallibly reduced it to
  ashes; and that the next, which they have calculated for one-and-.
  thirty years hence, will probably destroy us. For if, in its
  perihelion, it should approach within a certain degree of the sun
  (as by their calculations they have reason to dread) it will receive
  a degree of heat ten thousand times more intense than that of red
  hot glowing iron, and in its absence from the sun, carry a blazing
  tail ten hundred thousand and fourteen miles long, through which,
  if the earth should pass at the distance of one hundred thousand
  miles from the nucleus, or main body of the comet, it must in its
  passage be set on fire, and reduced to ashes: that the sun, daily
  spending its rays without any nutriment to supply them, will at
  last be wholly consumed and annihilated; which must be attended
  with the destruction of this earth, and of all the planets that receive
  their light from it.
  They are so perpetually alarmed with the apprehensions of these,
  and the like impending dangers, that they can neither sleep quietly
  in their beds, nor have any relish for the common pleasures and
  amusements of life. When they meet an acquaintance in the
  morning, the first question is about the sun's health, how he
  looked at his setting and rising, and what hopes they have to avoid
  the stroke of the approaching comet. This conversation they are
  apt to run into with the same temper that boys discover in
  delighting to hear terrible stories of spirits and hobgoblins, which
  they greedily listen to, and dare not go to bed for fear.
  The women of the island have abundance of vivacity: they,
  contemn their husbands, and are exceedingly fond of strangers,
  whereof there is always a considerable number from the continent
  below, attending at court, either upon affairs of the several towns.
  and corporations, or their own particular occasions, but are much
  despised, because they want the same endowments. Among these
  the ladies choose their gallants: but the vexation is, that they act
  with too much ease and security; for the husband is always so rapt
  in speculation, that the mistress and lover may proceed to the
  greatest familiarities before his face, if he be but provided with
  paper and implements, and without his flapper at his side.
  The wives and daughters lament their confinement to the island,
  although I think it the most delicious spot of ground in the world;
  and although they live here in the greatest plenty and
  magnificence, and are allowed to do whatever they please, they
  long to see the world, and take the diversions of the metropolis,
  which they are not allowed to do without a particular license from
  the king; and this is not easy to be obtained, because the people of
  quality have found, by frequent experience, how hard it is to
  persuade their women to return from below. I was told that a great
  court lady, who had several children,--is married to the prime
  minister, the richest subject in the kingdom, a very graceful
  person, extremely fond of her, and lives in the finest palace of the
  island,--went down to Lagado on the pretence of health, there hid
  herself for several months, till the king sent a warrant to search for
  her; and she was found in an obscure eating-house all in rags,
  having pawned her clothes to maintain an old deformed footman,
  who beat her every day, and in whose company she was taken,
  much against her will. And although her husband received her
  with all possible kindness, and without the least reproach, she
  soon after contrived to steal down again, with all her jewels, to the
  same gallant, and has not been heard of since..
  This may perhaps pass with the reader rather for an European or
  English story, than for one of a country so remote. But he may
  please to consider, that the caprices of womankind are not limited
  by any climate or nation, and that they are much more uniform,
  than can be easily imagined.
  In about a month's time, I had made a tolerable proficiency in
  their language, and was able to answer most of the king's
  questions, when I had the honour to attend him. His majesty
  discovered not the least curiosity to inquire into the laws,
  government, history, religion, or manners of the countries where I
  had been; but confined his questions to the state of mathematics,
  and received the account I gave him with great contempt and
  indifference, though often roused by his flapper on each side..
  
  
CHAPTER III.
  
  [A phenomenon solved by modern philosophy and astronomy.
  The Laputians' great improvements in the latter. The king's
  method of suppressing insurrections.]
  I desired leave of this prince to see the curiosities of the island,
  which he was graciously pleased to grant, and ordered my tutor to
  attend me. I chiefly wanted to know, to what cause, in art or in
  nature, it owed its several motions, whereof I will now give a
  philosophical account to the reader.
  The flying or floating island is exactly circular, its diameter 7837
  yards, or about four miles and a half, and consequently contains
  ten thousand acres. It is three hundred yards thick. The bottom, or
  under surface, which appears to those who view it below, is one
  even regular plate of adamant, shooting up to the height of about
  two hundred yards. Above it lie the several minerals in their usual
  order, and over all is a coat of rich mould, ten or twelve feet deep.
  The declivity of the upper surface, from the circumference to the
  centre, is the natural cause why all the dews and rains, which fall
  upon the island, are conveyed in small rivulets toward the middle,
  where they are emptied into four large basins, each of about half a
  mile in circuit, and two hundred yards distant from the centre.
  From these basins the water is continually exhaled by the sun in.
  the daytime, which effectually prevents their overflowing.
  Besides, as it is in the power of the monarch to raise the island
  above the region of clouds and vapours, he can prevent the falling
  of dews and rain whenever he pleases. For the highest clouds
  cannot rise above two miles, as naturalists agree, at least they
  were never known to do so in that country.
  At the centre of the island there is a chasm about fifty yards in
  diameter, whence the astronomers descend into a large dome,
  which is therefore called FLANDONA GAGNOLE, or the
  astronomer's cave, situated at the depth of a hundred yards
  beneath the upper surface of the adamant. In this cave are twenty
  lamps continually burning, which, from the reflection of the
  adamant, cast a strong light into every part. The place is stored
  with great variety of sextants, quadrants, telescopes, astrolabes,
  and other astronomical instruments. But the greatest curiosity,
  upon which the fate of the island depends, is a loadstone of a
  prodigious size, in shape resembling a weaver's shuttle. It is in
  length six yards, and in the thickest part at least three yards over.
  This magnet is sustained by a very strong axle of adamant passing
  through its middle, upon which it plays, and is poised so exactly
  that the weakest hand can turn it. It is hooped round with a hollow
  cylinder of adamant, four feet yards in diameter, placed
  horizontally, and supported by eight adamantine feet, each six
  yards high. In the middle of the concave side, there is a groove
  twelve inches deep, in which the extremities of the axle are
  lodged, and turned round as there is occasion..
  The stone cannot be removed from its place by any force, because
  the hoop and its feet are one continued piece with that body of
  adamant which constitutes the bottom of the island.
  By means of this loadstone, the island is made to rise and fall, and
  move from one place to another. For, with respect to that part of
  the earth over which the monarch presides, the stone is endued at
  one of its sides with an attractive power, and at the other with a
  repulsive. Upon placing the magnet erect, with its attracting end
  towards the earth, the island descends; but when the repelling
  extremity points downwards, the island mounts directly upwards.
  When the position of the stone is oblique, the motion of the island
  is so too: for in this magnet, the forces always act in lines parallel
  to its direction.
  By this oblique motion, the island is conveyed to different parts of
  the monarch's dominions. To explain the manner of its progress,
  let A B represent a line drawn across the dominions of Balnibarbi,
  let the line C D represent the loadstone, of which let D be the
  repelling end, and C the attracting end, the island being over C: let
  the stone be placed in position C D, with its repelling end
  downwards; then the island will be driven upwards obliquely
  towards D. When it is arrived at D, let the stone be turned upon its
  axle, till its attracting end points towards E, and then the island
  will be carried obliquely towards E; where, if the stone be again
  turned upon its axle till it stands in the position E F, with its
  repelling point downwards, the island will rise obliquely towards
  F, where, by directing the attracting end towards G, the island may
  be carried to G, and from G to H, by turning the stone, so as to.
  make its repelling extremity to point directly downward. And
  thus, by changing the situation of the stone, as often as there is
  occasion, the island is made to rise and fall by turns in an oblique
  direction, and by those alternate risings and fallings (the obliquity
  being not considerable) is conveyed from one part of the
  dominions to the other.
  But it must be observed, that this island cannot move beyond the
  extent of the dominions below, nor can it rise above the height of
  four miles. For which the astronomers (who have written large
  systems concerning the stone) assign the following reason: that
  the magnetic virtue does not extend beyond the distance of four
  miles, and that the mineral, which acts upon the stone in the
  bowels of the earth, and in the sea about six leagues distant from
  the shore, is not diffused through the whole globe, but terminated
  with the limits of the king's dominions; and it was easy, from the
  great advantage of such a superior situation, for a prince to bring
  under his obedience whatever country lay within the attraction of
  that magnet.
  When the stone is put parallel to the plane of the horizon, the
  island stands still; for in that case the extremities of it, being at
  equal distance from the earth, act with equal force, the one in
  drawing downwards, the other in pushing upwards, and
  consequently no motion can ensue.
  This loadstone is under the care of certain astronomers, who, from
  time to time, give it such positions as the monarch directs..
  They spend the greatest part of their lives in observing the
  celestial bodies, which they do by the assistance of glasses, far
  excelling ours in goodness. For, although their largest telescopes
  do not exceed three feet, they magnify much more than those of a
  hundred with us, and show the stars with greater clearness. This
  advantage has enabled them to extend their discoveries much
  further than our astronomers in Europe; for they have made a
  catalogue of ten thousand fixed stars, whereas the largest of ours
  do not contain above one third part of that number. They have
  likewise discovered two lesser stars, or satellites, which revolve
  about Mars; whereof the innermost is distant from the centre of
  the primary planet exactly three of his diameters, and the
  outermost, five; the former revolves in the space of ten hours, and
  the latter in twenty-one and a half; so that the squares of their
  periodical times are very near in the same proportion with the
  cubes of their distance from the centre of Mars; which evidently
  shows them to be governed by the same law of gravitation that
  influences the other heavenly bodies.
  They have observed ninety-three different comets, and settled
  their periods with great exactness. If this be true (and they affirm
  it with great confidence) it is much to be wished, that their
  observations were made public, whereby the theory of comets,
  which at present is very lame and defective, might be brought to
  the same perfection with other arts of astronomy..
  The king would be the most absolute prince in the universe, if he
  could but prevail on a ministry to join with him; but these having
  their estates below on the continent, and considering that the
  office of a favourite has a very uncertain tenure, would never
  consent to the enslaving of their country.
  If any town should engage in rebellion or mutiny, fall into violent
  factions, or refuse to pay the usual tribute, the king has two
  methods of reducing them to obedience. The first and the mildest
  course is, by keeping the island hovering over such a town, and
  the lands about it, whereby he can deprive them of the benefit of
  the sun and the rain, and consequently afflict the inhabitants with
  dearth and diseases: and if the crime deserve it, they are at the
  same time pelted from above with great stones, against which they
  have no defence but by creeping into cellars or caves, while the
  roofs of their houses are beaten to pieces. But if they still continue
  obstinate, or offer to raise insurrections, he proceeds to the last
  remedy, by letting the island drop directly upon their heads, which
  makes a universal destruction both of houses and men. However,
  this is an extremity to which the prince is seldom driven, neither
  indeed is he willing to put it in execution; nor dare his ministers
  advise him to an action, which, as it would render them odious to
  the people, so it would be a great damage to their own estates,
  which all lie below; for the island is the king's demesne.
  But there is still indeed a more weighty reason, why the kings of
  this country have been always averse from executing so terrible
  an action, unless upon the utmost necessity. For, if the town
  intended to be destroyed should have in it any tall rocks, as it.
  generally falls out in the larger cities, a situation probably chosen
  at first with a view to prevent such a catastrophe; or if it abound in
  high spires, or pillars of stone, a sudden fall might endanger the
  bottom or under surface of the island, which, although it consist,
  as I have said, of one entire adamant, two hundred yards thick,
  might happen to crack by too great a shock, or burst by
  approaching too near the fires from the houses below, as the
  backs, both of iron and stone, will often do in our chimneys. Of all
  this the people are well apprised, and understand how far to carry
  their obstinacy, where their liberty or property is concerned. And
  the king, when he is highest provoked, and most determined to
  press a city to rubbish, orders the island to descend with great
  gentleness, out of a pretence of tenderness to his people, but,
  indeed, for fear of breaking the adamantine bottom; in which case,
  it is the opinion of all their philosophers, that the loadstone could
  no longer hold it up, and the whole mass would fall to the ground.
  By a fundamental law of this realm, neither the king, nor either of
  his two eldest sons, are permitted to leave the island; nor the
  queen, till she is past child-bearing..
  
  
CHAPTER IV.
  
  [The author leaves Laputa; is conveyed to Balnibarbi; arrives at
  the metropolis. A description of the metropolis, and the country
  adjoining. The author hospitably received by a great lord. His
  conversation with that lord.]
  Although I cannot say that I was ill treated in this island, yet I
  must confess I thought myself too much neglected, not without
  some degree of contempt; for neither prince nor people appeared
  to be curious in any part of knowledge, except mathematics and
  music, wherein I was far their inferior, and upon that account very
  little regarded.
  On the other side, after having seen all the curiosities of the
  island, I was very desirous to leave it, being heartily weary of
  those people. They were indeed excellent in two sciences for
  which I have great esteem, and wherein I am not unversed; but, at
  the same time, so abstracted and involved in speculation, that I
  never met with such disagreeable companions. I conversed only
  with women, tradesmen, flappers, and court-pages, during two
  months of my abode there; by which, at last, I rendered myself
  extremely contemptible; yet these were the only people from
  whom I could ever receive a reasonable answer..
  I had obtained, by hard study, a good degree of knowledge in their
  language: I was weary of being confined to an island where I
  received so little countenance, and resolved to leave it with the
  first opportunity.
  There was a great lord at court, nearly related to the king, and for
  that reason alone used with respect. He was universally reckoned
  the most ignorant and stupid person among them. He had
  performed many eminent services for the crown, had great natural
  and acquired parts, adorned with integrity and honour; but so ill
  an ear for music, that his detractors reported, "he had been often
  known to beat time in the wrong place;" neither could his tutors,
  without extreme difficulty, teach him to demonstrate the most
  easy proposition in the mathematics. He was pleased to show me
  many marks of favour, often did me the honour of a visit, desired
  to be informed in the affairs of Europe, the laws and customs, the
  manners and learning of the several countries where I had
  travelled. He listened to me with great attention, and made very
  wise observations on all I spoke. He had two flappers attending
  him for state, but never made use of them, except at court and in
  visits of ceremony, and would always command them to
  withdraw, when we were alone together.
  I entreated this illustrious person, to intercede in my behalf with
  his majesty, for leave to depart; which he accordingly did, as he
  was pleased to tell me, with regret: for indeed he had made me
  several offers very advantageous, which, however, I refused, with
  expressions of the highest acknowledgment..
  On the 16th of February I took leave of his majesty and the court.
  The king made me a present to the value of about two hundred
  pounds English, and my protector, his kinsman, as much more,
  together with a letter of recommendation to a friend of his in
  Lagado, the metropolis. The island being then hovering over a
  mountain about two miles from it, I was let down from the lowest
  gallery, in the same manner as I had been taken up.
  The continent, as far as it is subject to the monarch of the flying
  island, passes under the general name of BALNIBARBI; and the
  metropolis, as I said before, is called LAGADO. I felt some little
  satisfaction in finding myself on firm ground. I walked to the city
  without any concern, being clad like one of the natives, and
  sufficiently instructed to converse with them. I soon found out the
  person's house to whom I was recommended, presented my letter
  from his friend the grandee in the island, and was received with
  much kindness. This great lord, whose name was Munodi, ordered
  me an apartment in his own house, where I continued during my
  stay, and was entertained in a most hospitable manner.
  The next morning after my arrival, he took me in his chariot to see
  the town, which is about half the bigness of London; but the
  houses very strangely built, and most of them out of repair. The
  people in the streets walked fast, looked wild, their eyes fixed, and
  were generally in rags. We passed through one of the town gates,
  and went about three miles into the country, where I saw many
  labourers working with several sorts of tools in the ground, but.
  was not able to conjecture what they were about: neither did
  observe any expectation either of corn or grass, although the soil
  appeared to be excellent. I could not forbear admiring at these odd
  appearances, both in town and country; and I made bold to desire
  my conductor, that he would be pleased to explain to me, what
  could be meant by so many busy heads, hands, and faces, both in
  the streets and the fields, because I did not discover any good
  effects they produced; but, on the contrary, I never knew a soil so
  unhappily cultivated, houses so ill contrived and so ruinous, or a
  people whose countenances and habit expressed so much misery
  and want.
  This lord Munodi was a person of the first rank, and had been
  some years governor of Lagado; but, by a cabal of ministers, was
  discharged for insufficiency. However, the king treated him with
  tenderness, as a well-meaning man, but of a low contemptible
  understanding.
  When I gave that free censure of the country and its inhabitants,
  he made no further answer than by telling me, "that I had not been
  long enough among them to form a judgment; and that the
  different nations of the world had different customs;" with other
  common topics to the same purpose. But, when we returned to his
  palace, he asked me "how I liked the building, what absurdities I
  observed, and what quarrel I had with the dress or looks of his
  domestics?" This he might safely do; because every thing about
  him was magnificent, regular, and polite. I answered, "that his
  excellency's prudence, quality, and fortune, had exempted him
  from those defects, which folly and beggary had produced in.
  others." He said, "if I would go with him to his country-house,
  about twenty miles distant, where his estate lay, there would be
  more leisure for this kind of conversation." I told his excellency
  "that I was entirely at his disposal;" and accordingly we set out
  next morning.
  During our journey he made me observe the several methods used
  by farmers in managing their lands, which to me were wholly
  unaccountable; for, except in some very few places, I could not
  discover one ear of corn or blade of grass. But, in three hours
  travelling, the scene was wholly altered; we came into a most
  beautiful country; farmers' houses, at small distances, neatly built;
  the fields enclosed, containing vineyards, corn-grounds, and
  meadows. Neither do I remember to have seen a more delightful
  prospect. His excellency observed my countenance to clear up; he
  told me, with a sigh, "that there his estate began, and would
  continue the same, till we should come to his house: that his
  countrymen ridiculed and despised him, for managing his affairs
  no better, and for setting so ill an example to the kingdom; which,
  however, was followed by very few, such as were old, and wilful,
  and weak like himself."
  We came at length to the house, which was indeed a noble
  structure, built according to the best rules of ancient architecture.
  The fountains, gardens, walks, avenues, and groves, were all
  disposed with exact judgment and taste. I gave due praises to
  every thing I saw, whereof his excellency took not the least notice
  till after supper; when, there being no third companion, he told me
  with a very melancholy air "that he doubted he must throw down.
  his houses in town and country, to rebuild them after the present
  mode; destroy all his plantations, and cast others into such a form
  as modern usage required, and give the same directions to all his
  tenants, unless he would submit to incur the censure of pride,
  singularity, affectation, ignorance, caprice, and perhaps increase
  his majesty's displeasure; that the admiration I appeared to be
  under would cease or diminish, when he had informed me of some
  particulars which, probably, I never heard of at court, the people
  there being too much taken up in their own speculations, to have
  regard to what passed here below."
  The sum of his discourse was to this effect: "That about forty
  years ago, certain persons went up to Laputa, either upon business
  or diversion, and, after five months continuance, came back with a
  very little smattering in mathematics, but full of volatile spirits
  acquired in that airy region: that these persons, upon their return,
  began to dislike the management of every thing below, and fell
  into schemes of putting all arts, sciences, languages, and
  mechanics, upon a new foot. To this end, they procured a royal
  patent for erecting an academy of projectors in Lagado; and the
  humour prevailed so strongly among the people, that there is not a
  town of any consequence in the kingdom without such an
  academy. In these colleges the professors contrive new rules and
  methods of agriculture and building, and new instruments, and
  tools for all trades and manufactures; whereby, as they undertake,
  one man shall do the work of ten; a palace may be built in a week,
  of materials so durable as to last for ever without repairing. All the
  fruits of the earth shall come to maturity at whatever season we
  think fit to choose, and increase a hundred fold more than they do.
  at present; with innumerable other happy proposals. The only
  inconvenience is, that none of these projects are yet brought to
  perfection; and in the mean time, the whole country lies miserably
  waste, the houses in ruins, and the people without food or clothes.
  By all which, instead of being discouraged, they are fifty times
  more violently bent upon prosecuting their schemes, driven
  equally on by hope and despair: that as for himself, being not of
  an enterprising spirit, he was content to go on in the old forms, to
  live in the houses his ancestors had built, and act as they did, in
  every part of life, without innovation: that some few other persons
  of quality and gentry had done the same, but were looked on with
  an eye of contempt and ill-will, as enemies to art, ignorant, and ill
  common-wealth's men, preferring their own ease and sloth before
  the general improvement of their country."
  His lordship added, "That he would not, by any further
  particulars, prevent the pleasure I should certainly take in viewing
  the grand academy, whither he was resolved I should go." He
  only desired me to observe a ruined building, upon the side of a
  mountain about three miles distant, of which he gave me this
  account: "That he had a very convenient mill within half a mile of
  his house, turned by a current from a large river, and sufficient for
  his own family, as well as a great number of his tenants; that about
  seven years ago, a club of those projectors came to him with
  proposals to destroy this mill, and build another on the side of that
  mountain, on the long ridge whereof a long canal must be cut, for
  a repository of water, to be conveyed up by pipes and engines to
  supply the mill, because the wind and air upon a height agitated
  the water, and thereby made it fitter for motion, and because the.
  water, descending down a declivity, would turn the mill with half
  the current of a river whose course is more upon a level." He said,
  "that being then not very well with the court, and pressed by many
  of his friends, he complied with the proposal; and after employing
  a hundred men for two years, the work miscarried, the projectors
  went off, laying the blame entirely upon him, railing at him ever
  since, and putting others upon the same experiment, with equal
  assurance of success, as well as equal disappointment."
  In a few days we came back to town; and his excellency,
  considering the bad character he had in the academy, would not go
  with me himself, but recommended me to a friend of his, to bear
  me company thither. My lord was pleased to represent me as a
  great admirer of projects, and a person of much curiosity and easy
  belief; which, indeed, was not without truth; for I had myself been
  a sort of projector in my younger days..
  
  
CHAPTER V.
  
  [The author permitted to see the grand academy of Lagado. The
  academy largely described. The arts wherein the professors
  employ themselves.]
  This academy is not an entire single building, but a continuation
  of several houses on both sides of a street, which growing waste,
  was purchased and applied to that use.
  I was received very kindly by the warden, and went for many days
  to the academy. Every room has in it one or more projectors; and I
  believe I could not be in fewer than five hundred rooms.
  The first man I saw was of a meagre aspect, with sooty hands and
  face, his hair and beard long, ragged, and singed in several places.
  His clothes, shirt, and skin, were all of the same colour. He has
  been eight years upon a project for extracting sunbeams out of
  cucumbers, which were to be put in phials hermetically sealed,
  and let out to warm the air in raw inclement summers. He told me,
  he did not doubt, that, in eight years more, he should be able to
  supply the governor's gardens with sunshine, at a reasonable rate:
  but he complained that his stock was low, and entreated me "to
  give him something as an encouragement to ingenuity, especially
  since this had been a very dear season for cucumbers." I made him.
  a small present, for my lord had furnished me with money on
  purpose, because he knew their practice of begging from all who
  go to see them.
  I went into another chamber, but was ready to hasten back, being
  almost overcome with a horrible stink. My conductor pressed me
  forward, conjuring me in a whisper "to give no offence, which
  would be highly resented;" and therefore I durst not so much as
  stop my nose. The projector of this cell was the most ancient
  student of the academy; his face and beard were of a pale yellow;
  his hands and clothes daubed over with filth. When I was
  presented to him, he gave me a close embrace, a compliment I
  could well have excused. His employment, from his first coming
  into the academy, was an operation to reduce human excrement to
  its original food, by separating the several parts, removing the
  tincture which it receives from the gall, making the odour exhale,
  and scumming off the saliva. He had a weekly allowance, from
  the society, of a vessel filled with human ordure, about the bigness
  of a Bristol barrel.
  I saw another at work to calcine ice into gunpowder; who likewise
  showed me a treatise he had written concerning the malleability of
  fire, which he intended to publish.
  There was a most ingenious architect, who had contrived a new
  method for building houses, by beginning at the roof, and working
  downward to the foundation; which he justified to me, by the like
  practice of those two prudent insects, the bee and the spider..
  There was a man born blind, who had several apprentices in his
  own condition: their employment was to mix colours for painters,
  which their master taught them to distinguish by feeling and
  smelling. It was indeed my misfortune to find them at that time
  not very perfect in their lessons, and the professor himself
  happened to be generally mistaken. This artist is much
  encouraged and esteemed by the whole fraternity.
  In another apartment I was highly pleased with a projector who
  had found a device of ploughing the ground with hogs, to save the
  charges of ploughs, cattle, and labour. The method is this: in an
  acre of ground you bury, at six inches distance and eight deep, a
  quantity of acorns, dates, chestnuts, and other mast or vegetables,
  whereof these animals are fondest; then you drive six hundred or
  more of them into the field, where, in a few days, they will root up
  the whole ground in search of their food, and make it fit for
  sowing, at the same time manuring it with their dung: it is true,
  upon experiment, they found the charge and trouble very great,
  and they had little or no crop. However it is not doubted, that this
  invention may be capable of great improvement.
  I went into another room, where the walls and ceiling were all
  hung round with cobwebs, except a narrow passage for the artist
  to go in and out. At my entrance, he called aloud to me, "not to
  disturb his webs." He lamented "the fatal mistake the world had
  been so long in, of using silkworms, while we had such plenty of
  domestic insects who infinitely excelled the former, because they
  understood how to weave, as well as spin." And he proposed
  further, "that by employing spiders, the charge of dyeing silks.
  should be wholly saved;" whereof I was fully convinced, when he
  showed me a vast number of flies most beautifully coloured,
  wherewith he fed his spiders, assuring us "that the webs would
  take a tincture from them; and as he had them of all hues, he
  hoped to fit everybody's fancy, as soon as he could find proper
  food for the flies, of certain gums, oils, and other glutinous matter,
  to give a strength and consistence to the threads."
  There was an astronomer, who had undertaken to place a sun-dial
  upon the great weathercock on the town-house, by adjusting the
  annual and diurnal motions of the earth and sun, so as to answer
  and coincide with all accidental turnings of the wind.
  I was complaining of a small fit of the colic, upon which my
  conductor led me into a room where a great physician resided,
  who was famous for curing that disease, by contrary operations
  from the same instrument. He had a large pair of bellows, with a
  long slender muzzle of ivory: this he conveyed eight inches up the
  anus, and drawing in the wind, he affirmed he could make the guts
  as lank as a dried bladder. But when the disease was more
  stubborn and violent, he let in the muzzle while the bellows were
  full of wind, which he discharged into the body of the patient;
  then withdrew the instrument to replenish it, clapping his thumb
  strongly against the orifice of then fundament; and this being
  repeated three or four times, the adventitious wind would rush
  out, bringing the noxious along with it, (like water put into a
  pump), and the patient recovered. I saw him try both experiments.
  upon a dog, but could not discern any effect from the former.
  After the latter the animal was ready to burst, and made so violent
  a discharge as was very offensive to me and my companion.
  The dog died on the spot, and we left the doctor endeavouring to
  recover him, by the same operation.
  I visited many other apartments, but shall not trouble my reader
  with all the curiosities I observed, being studious of brevity.
  I had hitherto seen only one side of the academy, the other being
  appropriated to the advancers of speculative learning, of whom I
  shall say something, when I have mentioned one illustrious person
  more, who is called among them "the universal artist." He told us
  "he had been thirty years employing his thoughts for the
  improvement of human life." He had two large rooms full of
  wonderful curiosities, and fifty men at work. Some were
  condensing air into a dry tangible substance, by extracting the
  nitre, and letting the aqueous or fluid particles percolate; others
  softening marble, for pillows and pin-cushions; others petrifying
  the hoofs of a living horse, to preserve them from foundering. The
  artist himself was at that time busy upon two great designs; the
  first, to sow land with chaff, wherein he affirmed the true seminal
  virtue to be contained, as he demonstrated by several experiments,
  which I was not skilful enough to comprehend. The other was, by
  a certain composition of gums, minerals, and vegetables,
  outwardly applied, to prevent the growth of wool upon two young
  lambs; and he hoped, in a reasonable time to propagate the breed
  of naked sheep, all over the kingdom..
  We crossed a walk to the other part of the academy, where, as I
  have already said, the projectors in speculative learning resided.
  The first professor I saw, was in a very large room, with forty
  pupils about him. After salutation, observing me to look earnestly
  upon a frame, which took up the greatest part of both the length
  and breadth of the room, he said, "Perhaps I might wonder to see
  him employed in a project for improving speculative knowledge,
  by practical and mechanical operations. But the world would soon
  be sensible of its usefulness; and he flattered himself, that a more
  noble, exalted thought never sprang in any other man's head.
  Every one knew how laborious the usual method is of attaining to
  arts and sciences; whereas, by his contrivance, the most ignorant
  person, at a reasonable charge, and with a little bodily labour,
  might write books in philosophy, poetry, politics, laws,
  mathematics, and theology, without the least assistance from
  genius or study." He then led me to the frame, about the sides,
  whereof all his pupils stood in ranks. It was twenty feet square,
  placed in the middle of the room. The superfices was composed of
  several bits of wood, about the bigness of a die, but some larger
  than others. They were all linked together by slender wires. These
  bits of wood were covered, on every square, with paper pasted on
  them; and on these papers were written all the words of their
  language, in their several moods, tenses, and declensions; but
  without any order. The professor then desired me "to observe; for
  he was going to set his engine at work." The pupils, at his
  command, took each of them hold of an iron handle, whereof
  there were forty fixed round the edges of the frame; and giving.
  them a sudden turn, the whole disposition of the words was
  entirely changed. He then commanded six-and-thirty of the lads,
  to read the several lines softly, as they appeared upon the frame;
  and where they found three or four words together that might
  make part of a sentence, they dictated to the four remaining boys,
  who were scribes. This work was repeated three or four times, and
  at every turn, the engine was so contrived, that the words shifted
  into new places, as the square bits of wood moved upside down.
  Six hours a day the young students were employed in this labour;
  and the professor showed me several volumes in large folio,
  already collected, of broken sentences, which he intended to piece
  together, and out of those rich materials, to give the world a
  complete body of all arts and sciences; which, however, might be
  still improved, and much expedited, if the public would raise a
  fund for making and employing five hundred such frames in
  Lagado, and oblige the managers to contribute in common their
  several collections.
  He assured me "that this invention had employed all his thoughts
  from his youth; that he had emptied the whole vocabulary into his
  frame, and made the strictest computation of the general
  proportion there is in books between the numbers of particles,
  nouns, and verbs, and other parts of speech."
  I made my humblest acknowledgment to this illustrious person,
  for his great communicativeness; and promised, "if ever I had the
  good fortune to return to my native country, that I would do him
  justice, as the sole inventor of this wonderful machine;" the form.
  and contrivance of which I desired leave to delineate on paper, as
  in the figure here annexed. I told him, "although it were the
  custom of our learned in Europe to steal inventions from each
  other, who had thereby at least this advantage, that it became a
  controversy which was the right owner; yet I would take such
  caution, that he should have the honour entire, without a rival."
  We next went to the school of languages, where three professors
  sat in consultation upon improving that of their own country.
  The first project was, to shorten discourse, by cutting
  polysyllables into one, and leaving out verbs and participles,
  because, in reality, all things imaginable are but norms.
  The other project was, a scheme for entirely abolishing all words
  whatsoever; and this was urged as a great advantage in point of
  health, as well as brevity. For it is plain, that every word we speak
  is, in some degree, a diminution of our lunge by corrosion, and,
  consequently, contributes to the shortening of our lives. An
  expedient was therefore offered, "that since words are only names
  for things, it would be more convenient for all men to carry about
  them such things as were necessary to express a particular
  business they are to discourse on." And this invention would
  certainly have taken place, to the great ease as well as health of
  the subject, if the women, in conjunction with the vulgar and
  illiterate, had not threatened to raise a rebellion unless they might
  be allowed the liberty to speak with their tongues, after the
  manner of their forefathers; such constant irreconcilable enemies
  to science are the common people..
  However, many of the most learned and wise adhere to the new
  scheme of expressing themselves by things; which has only this
  inconvenience attending it, that if a man's business be very great,
  and of various kinds, he must be obliged, in proportion, to carry a
  greater bundle of things upon his back, unless he can afford one or
  two strong servants to attend him. I have often beheld two of those
  sages almost sinking under the weight of their packs, like pedlars
  among us, who, when they met in the street, would lay down their
  loads, open their sacks, and hold conversation for an hour
  together; then put up their implements, help each other to resume
  their burdens, and take their leave.
  But for short conversations, a man may carry implements in his
  pockets, and under his arms, enough to supply him; and in his
  house, he cannot be at a loss. Therefore the room where company
  meet who practise this art, is full of all things, ready at hand,
  requisite to furnish matter for this kind of artificial converse.
  Another great advantage proposed by this invention was, that it
  would serve as a universal language, to be understood in all
  civilised nations, whose goods and utensils are generally of the
  same kind, or nearly resembling, so that their uses might easily be
  comprehended. And thus ambassadors would be qualified to treat
  with foreign princes, or ministers of state, to whose tongues they
  were utter strangers..
  I was at the mathematical school, where the master taught his
  pupils after a method scarce imaginable to us in Europe. The
  proposition, and demonstration, were fairly written on a thin
  wafer, with ink composed of a cephalic tincture. This, the student
  was to swallow upon a fasting stomach, and for three days
  following, eat nothing but bread and water. As the wafer digested,
  the tincture mounted to his brain, bearing the proposition along
  with it. But the success has not hitherto been answerable, partly
  by some error in the QUANTUM or composition, and partly by
  the perverseness of lads, to whom this bolus is so nauseous, that
  they generally steal aside, and discharge it upwards, before it can
  operate; neither have they been yet persuaded to use so long an
  abstinence, as the prescription requires..
  
  
CHAPTER VI.
  
  [A further account of the academy. The author proposes some
  improvements, which are honourably received.]
  In the school of political projectors, I was but ill entertained; the
  professors appearing, in my judgment, wholly out of their senses,
  which is a scene that never fails to make me melancholy. These
  unhappy people were proposing schemes for persuading
  monarchs to choose favourites upon the score of their wisdom,
  capacity, and virtue; of teaching ministers to consult the public
  good; of rewarding merit, great abilities, eminent services; of
  instructing princes to know their true interest, by placing it on the
  same foundation with that of their people; of choosing for
  employments persons qualified to exercise them, with many other
  wild, impossible chimeras, that never entered before into the heart
  of man to conceive; and confirmed in me the old observation,
  "that there is nothing so extravagant and irrational, which some
  philosophers have not maintained for truth."
  But, however, I shall so far do justice to this part of the Academy,
  as to acknowledge that all of them were not so visionary. There
  was a most ingenious doctor, who seemed to be perfectly versed
  in the whole nature and system of government. This illustrious
  person had very usefully employed his studies, in finding out.
  effectual remedies for all diseases and corruptions to which the
  several kinds of public administration are subject, by the vices or
  infirmities of those who govern, as well as by the licentiousness of
  those who are to obey. For instance: whereas all writers and
  reasoners have agreed, that there is a strict universal resemblance
  between the natural and the political body; can there be any thing
  more evident, than that the health of both must be preserved, and
  the diseases cured, by the same prescriptions? It is allowed, that
  senates and great councils are often troubled with redundant,
  ebullient, and other peccant humours; with many diseases of the
  head, and more of the heart; with strong convulsions, with
  grievous contractions of the nerves and sinews in both hands, but
  especially the right; with spleen, flatus, vertigos, and deliriums;
  with scrofulous tumours, full of fetid purulent matter; with sour
  frothy ructations: with canine appetites, and crudeness of
  digestion, besides many others, needless to mention.
  This doctor therefore proposed, "that upon the meeting of the
  senate, certain physicians should attend it the three first days of
  their sitting, and at the close of each day's debate feel the pulses of
  every senator; after which, having maturely considered and
  consulted upon the nature of the several maladies, and the
  methods of cure, they should on the fourth day return to the senate
  house, attended by their apothecaries stored with proper
  medicines; and before the members sat, administer to each of
  them lenitives, aperitives, abstersives, corrosives, restringents,
  palliatives, laxatives, cephalalgics, icterics, apophlegmatics,.
  acoustics, as their several cases required; and, according as these
  medicines should operate, repeat, alter, or omit them, at the next
  meeting."
  This project could not be of any great expense to the public; and
  might in my poor opinion, be of much use for the despatch of
  business, in those countries where senates have any share in the
  legislative power; beget unanimity, shorten debates, open a few
  mouths which are now closed, and close many more which are
  now open; curb the petulancy of the young, and correct the
  positiveness of the old; rouse the stupid, and damp the pert.
  Again: because it is a general complaint, that the favourites of
  princes are troubled with short and weak memories; the same
  doctor proposed, "that whoever attended a first minister, after
  having told his business, with the utmost brevity and in the
  plainest words, should, at his departure, give the said minister a
  tweak by the nose, or a kick in the belly, or tread on his corns, or
  lug him thrice by both ears, or run a pin into his breech; or pinch
  his arm black and blue, to prevent forgetfulness; and at every
  levee day, repeat the same operation, till the business were done,
  or absolutely refused."
  He likewise directed, "that every senator in the great council of a
  nation, after he had delivered his opinion, and argued in the
  defence of it, should be obliged to give his vote directly contrary;
  because if that were done, the result would infallibly terminate in
  the good of the public.".
  When parties in a state are violent, he offered a wonderful
  contrivance to reconcile them. The method is this: You take a
  hundred leaders of each party; you dispose them into couples of
  such whose heads are nearest of a size; then let two nice operators
  saw off the occiput of each couple at the same time, in such a
  manner that the brain may be equally divided. Let the occiputs,
  thus cut off, be interchanged, applying each to the head of his
  opposite party-man. It seems indeed to be a work that requires
  some exactness, but the professor assured us, "that if it were
  dexterously performed, the cure would be infallible." For he
  argued thus: "that the two half brains being left to debate the
  matter between themselves within the space of one skull, would
  soon come to a good understanding, and produce that moderation,
  as well as regularity of thinking, so much to be wished for in the
  heads of those, who imagine they come into the world only to
  watch and govern its motion: and as to the difference of brains, in
  quantity or quality, among those who are directors in faction, the
  doctor assured us, from his own knowledge, that "it was a perfect
  trifle."
  I heard a very warm debate between two professors, about the
  most commodious and effectual ways and means of raising
  money, without grieving the subject. The first affirmed, "the
  justest method would be, to lay a certain tax upon vices and folly;
  and the sum fixed upon every man to be rated, after the fairest
  manner, by a jury of his neighbours." The second was of an
  opinion directly contrary; "to tax those qualities of body and
  mind, for which men chiefly value themselves; the rate to be more
  or less, according to the degrees of excelling; the decision.
  whereof should be left entirely to their own breast." The highest
  tax was upon men who are the greatest favourites of the other sex,
  and the assessments, according to the number and nature of the
  favours they have received; for which, they are allowed to be their
  own vouchers. Wit, valour, and politeness, were likewise
  proposed to be largely taxed, and collected in the same manner, by
  every person's giving his own word for the quantum of what he
  possessed. But as to honour, justice, wisdom, and learning, they
  should not be taxed at all; because they are qualifications of so
  singular a kind, that no man will either allow them in his
  neighbour or value them in himself.
  The women were proposed to be taxed according to their beauty
  and skill in dressing, wherein they had the same privilege with the
  men, to be determined by their own judgment. But constancy,
  chastity, good sense, and good nature, were not rated, because
  they would not bear the charge of collecting.
  To keep senators in the interest of the crown, it was proposed that
  the members should raffle for employment; every man first taking
  an oath, and giving security, that he would vote for the court,
  whether he won or not; after which, the losers had, in their turn,
  the liberty of raffling upon the next vacancy. Thus, hope and
  expectation would be kept alive; none would complain of broken
  promises, but impute their disappointments wholly to fortune,
  whose shoulders are broader and stronger than those of a ministry..
  Another professor showed me a large paper of instructions for
  discovering plots and conspiracies against the government. He
  advised great statesmen to examine into the diet of all suspected
  persons; their times of eating; upon which side they lay in bed;
  with which hand they wipe their posteriors; take a strict view of
  their excrements, and, from the colour, the odour, the taste, the
  consistence, the crudeness or maturity of digestion, form a
  judgment of their thoughts and designs; because men are never so
  serious, thoughtful, and intent, as when they are at stool, which he
  found by frequent experiment; for, in such conjunctures, when he
  used, merely as a trial, to consider which was the best way of
  murdering the king, his ordure would have a tincture of green; but
  quite different, when he thought only of raising an insurrection, or
  burning the metropolis.
  The whole discourse was written with great acuteness, containing
  many observations, both curious and useful for politicians; but, as
  I conceived, not altogether complete. This I ventured to tell the
  author, and offered, if he pleased, to supply him with some
  additions. He received my proposition with more compliance than
  is usual among writers, especially those of the projecting species,
  professing "he would be glad to receive further information."
  I told him, "that in the kingdom of Tribnia, (3) by the natives
  called Langdon, (4) where I had sojourned some time in my
  travels, the bulk of the people consist in a manner wholly of
  discoverers, witnesses, informers, accusers, prosecutors,
  evidences, swearers, together with their several subservient and
  subaltern instruments, all under the colours, the conduct, and the.
  pay of ministers of state, and their deputies. The plots, in that
  kingdom, are usually the workmanship of those persons who
  desire to raise their own characters of profound politicians; to
  restore new vigour to a crazy administration; to stifle or divert
  general discontents; to fill their coffers with forfeitures; and raise,
  or sink the opinion of public credit, as either shall best answer
  their private advantage. It is first agreed and settled among them,
  what suspected persons shall be accused of a plot; then, effectual
  care is taken to secure all their letters and papers, and put the
  owners in chains. These papers are delivered to a set of artists,
  very dexterous in finding out the mysterious meanings of words,
  syllables, and letters: for instance, they can discover a close stool,
  to signify a privy council; a flock of geese, a senate; a lame dog,
  an invader; the plague, a standing army; a buzzard, a prime
  minister; the gout, a high priest; a gibbet, a secretary of state; a
  chamber pot, a committee of grandees; a sieve, a court lady; a
  broom, a revolution; a mouse-trap, an employment; a bottomless
  pit, a treasury; a sink, a court; a cap and bells, a favourite; a
  broken reed, a court of justice; an empty tun, a general; a running
  sore, the administration. (5)
  "When this method fails, they have two others more effectual,
  which the learned among them call acrostics and anagrams. First,
  they can decipher all initial letters into political meanings. Thus
  N, shall signify a plot; B, a regiment of horse; L, a fleet at sea; or,
  secondly, by transposing the letters of the alphabet in any
  suspected paper, they can lay open the deepest designs of a
  discontented party. So, for example, if I should say, in a letter to a
  friend, 'Our brother Tom has just got the piles,' a skilful decipherer.
  would discover, that the same letters which compose that
  sentence, may be analysed into the following words, 'Resist--, a
  plot is brought home--The tour.' And this is the anagrammatic
  method."
  The professor made me great acknowledgments for
  communicating these observations, and promised to make
  honourable mention of me in his treatise.
  I saw nothing in this country that could invite me to a longer
  continuance, and began to think of returning home to England..
  
  
CHAPTER VII.
  
  [The author leaves Lagado: arrives at Maldonada. No ship ready.
  He takes a short voyage to Glubbdubdrib. His reception by the
  governor.]
  The continent, of which this kingdom is apart, extends itself, as I
  have reason to believe, eastward, to that unknown tract of
  America westward of California; and north, to the Pacific Ocean,
  which is not above a hundred and fifty miles from Lagado; where
  there is a good port, and much commerce with the great island of
  Luggnagg, situated to the north-west about 29 degrees north
  latitude, and 140 longitude. This island of Luggnagg stands south-eastward
  of Japan, about a hundred leagues distant. There is a
  strict alliance between the Japanese emperor and the king of
  Luggnagg; which affords frequent opportunities of sailing from
  one island to the other. I determined therefore to direct my course
  this way, in order to my return to Europe. I hired two mules, with
  a guide, to show me the way, and carry my small baggage. I took
  leave of my noble protector, who had shown me so much favour,
  and made me a generous present at my departure.
  My journey was without any accident or adventure worth relating.
  When I arrived at the port of Maldonada (for so it is called) there
  was no ship in the harbour bound for Luggnagg, nor likely to be in.
  some time. The town is about as large as Portsmouth. I soon fell
  into some acquaintance, and was very hospitably received. A
  gentleman of distinction said to me, "that since the ships bound
  for Luggnagg could not be ready in less than a month, it might be
  no disagreeable amusement for me to take a trip to the little island
  of Glubbdubdrib, about five leagues off to the south-west." He
  offered himself and a friend to accompany me, and that I should
  be provided with a small convenient bark for the voyage.
  Glubbdubdrib, as nearly as I can interpret the word, signifies the
  island of sorcerers or magicians. It is about one third as large as
  the Isle of Wight, and extremely fruitful: it is governed by the
  head of a certain tribe, who are all magicians. This tribe marries
  only among each other, and the eldest in succession is prince or
  governor. He has a noble palace, and a park of about three
  thousand acres, surrounded by a wall of hewn stone twenty feet
  high. In this park are several small enclosures for cattle, corn, and
  gardening.
  The governor and his family are served and attended by domestics
  of a kind somewhat unusual. By his skill in necromancy he has a
  power of calling whom he pleases from the dead, and
  commanding their service for twenty-four hours, but no longer;
  nor can he call the same persons up again in less than three
  months, except upon very extraordinary occasions.
  When we arrived at the island, which was about eleven in the
  morning, one of the gentlemen who accompanied me went to the
  governor, and desired admittance for a stranger, who came on.
  purpose to have the honour of attending on his highness. This was
  immediately granted, and we all three entered the gate of the
  palace between two rows of guards, armed and dressed after a
  very antic manner, and with something in their countenances that
  made my flesh creep with a horror I cannot express. We passed
  through several apartments, between servants of the same sort,
  ranked on each side as before, till we came to the chamber of
  presence; where, after three profound obeisances, and a few
  general questions, we were permitted to sit on three stools, near
  the lowest step of his highness's throne. He understood the
  language of Balnibarbi, although it was different from that of this
  island. He desired me to give him some account of my travels;
  and, to let me see that I should be treated without ceremony, he
  dismissed all his attendants with a turn of his finger; at which, to
  my great astonishment, they vanished in an instant, like visions in
  a dream when we awake on a sudden. I could not recover myself
  in some time, till the governor assured me, "that I should receive
  no hurt:" and observing my two companions to be under no
  concern, who had been often entertained in the same manner, I
  began to take courage, and related to his highness a short history
  of my several adventures; yet not without some hesitation, and
  frequently looking behind me to the place where I had seen those
  domestic spectres. I had the honour to dine with the governor,
  where a new set of ghosts served up the meat, and waited at table.
  I now observed myself to be less terrified than I had been in the
  morning. I stayed till sunset, but humbly desired his highness to
  excuse me for not accepting his invitation of lodging in the palace.
  My two friends and I lay at a private house in the town adjoining,.
  which is the capital of this little island; and the next morning we
  returned to pay our duty to the governor, as he was pleased to
  command us.
  After this manner we continued in the island for ten days, most
  part of every day with the governor, and at night in our lodging. I
  soon grew so familiarized to the sight of spirits, that after the third
  or fourth time they gave me no emotion at all: or, if I had any
  apprehensions left, my curiosity prevailed over them. For his
  highness the governor ordered me "to call up whatever persons I
  would choose to name, and in whatever numbers, among all the
  dead from the beginning of the world to the present time, and
  command them to answer any questions I should think fit to ask;
  with this condition, that my questions must be confined within the
  compass of the times they lived in. And one thing I might depend
  upon, that they would certainly tell me the truth, for lying was a
  talent of no use in the lower world."
  I made my humble acknowledgments to his highness for so great
  a favour. We were in a chamber, from whence there was a fair
  prospect into the park. And because my first inclination was to be
  entertained with scenes of pomp and magnificence, I desired to
  see Alexander the Great at the head of his army, just after the
  battle of Arbela: which, upon a motion of the governor's finger,
  immediately appeared in a large field, under the window where
  we stood. Alexander was called up into the room: it was with
  great difficulty that I understood his Greek, and had but little of
  my own. He assured me upon his honour "that he was not
  poisoned, but died of a bad fever by excessive drinking.".
  Next, I saw Hannibal passing the Alps, who told me "he had not a
  drop of vinegar in his camp."
  I saw Caesar and Pompey at the head of their troops, just ready to
  engage. I saw the former, in his last great triumph. I desired that
  the senate of Rome might appear before me, in one large chamber,
  and an assembly of somewhat a later age in counterview, in
  another. The first seemed to be an assembly of heroes and
  demigods; the other, a knot of pedlars, pick-pockets,
  highwayman, and bullies.
  The governor, at my request, gave the sign for Caesar and Brutus
  to advance towards us. I was struck with a profound veneration at
  the sight of Brutus, and could easily discover the most
  consummate virtue, the greatest intrepidity and firmness of mind,
  the truest love of his country, and general benevolence for
  mankind, in every lineament of his countenance. I observed, with
  much pleasure, that these two persons were in good intelligence
  with each other; and Caesar freely confessed to me, "that the
  greatest actions of his own life were not equal, by many degrees,
  to the glory of taking it away." I had the honour to have much
  conversation with Brutus; and was told, "that his ancestor Junius,
  Socrates, Epaminondas, Cato the younger, Sir Thomas More, and
  himself were perpetually together:" a sextumvirate, to which all
  the ages of the world cannot add a seventh..
  It would be tedious to trouble the reader with relating what vast
  numbers of illustrious persons were called up to gratify that
  insatiable desire I had to see the world in every period of antiquity
  placed before me. I chiefly fed mine eyes with beholding the
  destroyers of tyrants and usurpers, and the restorers of liberty to
  oppressed and injured nations. But it is impossible to express the
  satisfaction I received in my own mind, after such a manner as to
  make it a suitable entertainment to the reader..
  
  
CHAPTER VIII.
  
  [A further account of Glubbdubdrib. Ancient and modern history
  corrected.]
  Having a desire to see those ancients who were most renowned
  for wit and learning, I set apart one day on purpose. I proposed
  that Homer and Aristotle might appear at the head of all their
  commentators; but these were so numerous, that some hundreds
  were forced to attend in the court, and outward rooms of the
  palace. I knew, and could distinguish those two heroes, at first
  sight, not only from the crowd, but from each other. Homer was
  the taller and comelier person of the two, walked very erect for
  one of his age, and his eyes were the most quick and piercing I
  ever beheld. Aristotle stooped much, and made use of a staff. His
  visage was meagre, his hair lank and thin, and his voice hollow. I
  soon discovered that both of them were perfect strangers to the
  rest of the company, and had never seen or heard of them before;
  and I had a whisper from a ghost who shall be nameless, "that
  these commentators always kept in the most distant quarters from
  their principals, in the lower world, through a consciousness of
  shame and guilt, because they had so horribly misrepresented the
  meaning of those authors to posterity." I introduced Didymus and
  Eustathius to Homer, and prevailed on him to treat them better
  than perhaps they deserved, for he soon found they wanted a.
  genius to enter into the spirit of a poet. But Aristotle was out of all
  patience with the account I gave him of Scotus and Ramus, as I
  presented them to him; and he asked them, "whether the rest of
  the tribe were as great dunces as themselves?"
  I then desired the governor to call up Descartes and Gassendi,
  with whom I prevailed to explain their systems to Aristotle. This
  great philosopher freely acknowledged his own mistakes in
  natural philosophy, because he proceeded in many things upon
  conjecture, as all men must do; and he found that Gassendi, who
  had made the doctrine of Epicurus as palatable as he could, and
  the vortices of Descartes, were equally to be exploded. He
  predicted the same fate to ATTRACTION, whereof the present
  learned are such zealous asserters. He said, "that new systems of
  nature were but new fashions, which would vary in every age; and
  even those, who pretend to demonstrate them from mathematical
  principles, would flourish but a short period of time, and be out of
  vogue when that was determined."
  I spent five days in conversing with many others of the ancient
  learned. I saw most of the first Roman emperors. I prevailed on
  the governor to call up Heliogabalus's cooks to dress us a dinner,
  but they could not show us much of their skill, for want of
  materials. A helot of Agesilaus made us a dish of Spartan broth,
  but I was not able to get down a second spoonful.
  The two gentlemen, who conducted me to the island, were pressed
  by their private affairs to return in three days, which I employed in
  seeing some of the modern dead, who had made the greatest.
  figure, for two or three hundred years past, in our own and other
  countries of Europe; and having been always a great admirer of
  old illustrious families, I desired the governor would call up a
  dozen or two of kings, with their ancestors in order for eight or
  nine generations. But my disappointment was grievous and
  unexpected. For, instead of a long train with royal diadems, I saw
  in one family two fiddlers, three spruce courtiers, and an Italian
  prelate. In another, a barber, an abbot, and two cardinals. I have
  too great a veneration for crowned heads, to dwell any longer on
  so nice a subject. But as to counts, marquises, dukes, earls, and the
  like, I was not so scrupulous. And I confess, it was not without
  some pleasure, that I found myself able to trace the particular
  features, by which certain families are distinguished, up to their
  originals. I could plainly discover whence one family derives a
  long chin; why a second has abounded with knaves for two
  generations, and fools for two more; why a third happened to be
  crack-brained, and a fourth to be sharpers; whence it came, what
  Polydore Virgil says of a certain great house, NEC VIR FORTIS,
  NEC FOEMINA CASTA; how cruelty, falsehood, and cowardice,
  grew to be characteristics by which certain families are
  distinguished as much as by their coats of arms; who first brought
  the pox into a noble house, which has lineally descended
  scrofulous tumours to their posterity. Neither could I wonder at all
  this, when I saw such an interruption of lineages, by pages,
  lackeys, valets, coachmen, gamesters, fiddlers, players, captains,
  and pickpockets..
  I was chiefly disgusted with modern history. For having strictly
  examined all the persons of greatest name in the courts of princes,
  for a hundred years past, I found how the world had been misled
  by prostitute writers, to ascribe the greatest exploits in war, to
  cowards; the wisest counsel, to fools; sincerity, to flatterers;
  Roman virtue, to betrayers of their country; piety, to atheists;
  chastity, to sodomites; truth, to informers: how many innocent and
  excellent persons had been condemned to death or banishment by
  the practising of great ministers upon the corruption of judges,
  and the malice of factions: how many villains had been exalted to
  the highest places of trust, power, dignity, and profit: how great a
  share in the motions and events of courts, councils, and senates
  might be challenged by bawds, whores, pimps, parasites, and
  buffoons. How low an opinion I had of human wisdom and
  integrity, when I was truly informed of the springs and motives of
  great enterprises and revolutions in the world, and of the
  contemptible accidents to which they owed their success.
  Here I discovered the roguery and ignorance of those who pretend
  to write anecdotes, or secret history; who send so many kings to
  their graves with a cup of poison; will repeat the discourse
  between a prince and chief minister, where no witness was by;
  unlock the thoughts and cabinets of ambassadors and secretaries
  of state; and have the perpetual misfortune to be mistaken. Here I
  discovered the true causes of many great events that have
  surprised the world; how a whore can govern the back-stairs, the
  back-stairs a council, and the council a senate. A general
  confessed, in my presence, "that he got a victory purely by the
  force of cowardice and ill conduct;" and an admiral, "that, for.
  want of proper intelligence, he beat the enemy, to whom he
  intended to betray the fleet." Three kings protested to me, "that in
  their whole reigns they never did once prefer any person of merit,
  unless by mistake, or treachery of some minister in whom they
  confided; neither would they do it if they were to live again:" and
  they showed, with great strength of reason, "that the royal throne
  could not be supported without corruption, because that positive,
  confident, restiff temper, which virtue infused into a man, was a
  perpetual clog to public business."
  I had the curiosity to inquire in a particular manner, by what
  methods great numbers had procured to themselves high titles of
  honour, and prodigious estates; and I confined my inquiry to a
  very modern period: however, without grating upon present times,
  because I would be sure to give no offence even to foreigners (for
  I hope the reader need not be told, that I do not in the least intend
  my own country, in what I say upon this occasion,) a great number
  of persons concerned were called up; and, upon a very slight
  examination, discovered such a scene of infamy, that I cannot
  reflect upon it without some seriousness. Perjury, oppression,
  subornation, fraud, pandarism, and the like infirmities, were
  among the most excusable arts they had to mention; and for these
  I gave, as it was reasonable, great allowance. But when some
  confessed they owed their greatness and wealth to sodomy, or
  incest; others, to the prostituting of their own wives and
  daughters; others, to the betraying of their country or their prince;
  some, to poisoning; more to the perverting of justice, in order to
  destroy the innocent, I hope I may be pardoned, if these
  discoveries inclined me a little to abate of that profound.
  veneration, which I am naturally apt to pay to persons of high
  rank, who ought to be treated with the utmost respect due to their
  sublime dignity, by us their inferiors.
  I had often read of some great services done to princes and states,
  and desired to see the persons by whom those services were
  performed. Upon inquiry I was told, "that their names were to be
  found on no record, except a few of them, whom history has
  represented as the vilest of rogues and traitors." As to the rest, I
  had never once heard of them. They all appeared with dejected
  looks, and in the meanest habit; most of them telling me, "they
  died in poverty and disgrace, and the rest on a scaffold or a
  gibbet."
  Among others, there was one person, whose case appeared a little
  singular. He had a youth about eighteen years old standing by his
  side. He told me, "he had for many years been commander of a
  ship; and in the sea fight at Actium had the good fortune to break
  through the enemy's great line of battle, sink three of their capital
  ships, and take a fourth, which was the sole cause of Antony's
  flight, and of the victory that ensued; that the youth standing by
  him, his only son, was killed in the action." He added, "that upon
  the confidence of some merit, the war being at an end, he went to
  Rome, and solicited at the court of Augustus to be preferred to a
  greater ship, whose commander had been killed; but, without any
  regard to his pretensions, it was given to a boy who had never
  seen the sea, the son of Libertina, who waited on one of the
  emperor's mistresses. Returning back to his own vessel, he was
  charged with neglect of duty, and the ship given to a favourite.
  page of Publicola, the vice-admiral; whereupon he retired to a
  poor farm at a great distance from Rome, and there ended his
  life." I was so curious to know the truth of this story, that I desired
  Agrippa might be called, who was admiral in that fight. He
  appeared, and confirmed the whole account: but with much more
  advantage to the captain, whose modesty had extenuated or
  concealed a great part of his merit.
  I was surprised to find corruption grown so high and so quick in
  that empire, by the force of luxury so lately introduced; which
  made me less wonder at many parallel cases in other countries,
  where vices of all kinds have reigned so much longer, and where
  the whole praise, as well as pillage, has been engrossed by the
  chief commander, who perhaps had the least title to either.
  As every person called up made exactly the same appearance he
  had done in the world, it gave me melancholy reflections to
  observe how much the race of human kind was degenerated
  among us within these hundred years past; how the pox, under all
  its consequences and denominations had altered every lineament
  of an English countenance; shortened the size of bodies, unbraced
  the nerves, relaxed the sinews and muscles, introduced a sallow
  complexion, and rendered the flesh loose and rancid.
  I descended so low, as to desire some English yeoman of the old
  stamp might be summoned to appear; once so famous for the
  simplicity of their manners, diet, and dress; for justice in their
  dealings; for their true spirit of liberty; for their valour, and love
  of their country. Neither could I be wholly unmoved, after.
  comparing the living with the dead, when I considered how all
  these pure native virtues were prostituted for a piece of money by
  their grand-children; who, in selling their votes and managing at
  elections, have acquired every vice and corruption that can
  possibly be learned in a court..
  
  
CHAPTER IX.
  
  [The author returns to Maldonada. Sails to the kingdom of
  Luggnagg. The author confined. He is sent for to court. The
  manner of his admittance. The king's great lenity to his subjects.]
  The day of our departure being come, I took leave of his highness,
  the Governor of Glubbdubdrib, and returned with my two
  companions to Maldonada, where, after a fortnight's waiting, a
  ship was ready to sail for Luggnagg. The two gentlemen, and
  some others, were so generous and kind as to furnish me with
  provisions, and see me on board. I was a month in this voyage.
  We had one violent storm, and were under a necessity of steering
  westward to get into the trade wind, which holds for above sixty
  leagues. On the 21st of April, 1708, we sailed into the river of
  Clumegnig, which is a seaport town, at the south-east point of
  Luggnagg. We cast anchor within a league of the town, and made
  a signal for a pilot. Two of them came on board in less than half an
  hour, by whom we were guided between certain shoals and rocks,
  which are very dangerous in the passage, to a large basin, where a
  fleet may ride in safety within a cable's length of the town-wall.
  Some of our sailors, whether out of treachery or inadvertence, had
  informed the pilots "that I was a stranger, and great traveller;"
  whereof these gave notice to a custom-house officer, by whom I.
  was examined very strictly upon my landing. This officer spoke to
  me in the language of Balnibarbi, which, by the force of much
  commerce, is generally understood in that town, especially by
  seamen and those employed in the customs. I gave him a short
  account of some particulars, and made my story as plausible and
  consistent as I could; but I thought it necessary to disguise my
  country, and call myself a Hollander; because my intentions were
  for Japan, and I knew the Dutch were the only Europeans
  permitted to enter into that kingdom. I therefore told the officer,
  "that having been shipwrecked on the coast of Balnibarbi, and
  cast on a rock, I was received up into Laputa, or the flying island
  (of which he had often heard), and was now endeavouring to get
  to Japan, whence I might find a convenience of returning to my
  own country." The officer said, "I must be confined till he could
  receive orders from court, for which he would write immediately,
  and hoped to receive an answer in a fortnight." I was carried to a
  convenient lodging with a sentry placed at the door; however, I
  had the liberty of a large garden, and was treated with humanity
  enough, being maintained all the time at the king's charge. I was
  invited by several persons, chiefly out of curiosity, because it was
  reported that I came from countries very remote, of which they
  had never heard.
  I hired a young man, who came in the same ship, to be an
  interpreter; he was a native of Luggnagg, but had lived some years
  at Maldonada, and was a perfect master of both languages. By his
  assistance, I was able to hold a conversation with those who came
  to visit me; but this consisted only of their questions, and my
  answers..
  The despatch came from court about the time we expected. It
  contained a warrant for conducting me and my retinue to
  TRALDRAGDUBH, or TRILDROGDRIB (for it is pronounced
  both ways as near as I can remember), by a party of ten horse. All
  my retinue was that poor lad for an interpreter, whom I persuaded
  into my service, and, at my humble request, we had each of us a
  mule to ride on. A messenger was despatched half a day's journey
  before us, to give the king notice of my approach, and to desire,
  "that his majesty would please to appoint a day and hour, when it
  would by his gracious pleasure that I might have the honour to
  lick the dust before his footstool." This is the court style, and I
  found it to be more than matter of form: for, upon my admittance
  two days after my arrival, I was commanded to crawl upon my
  belly, and lick the floor as I advanced; but, on account of my
  being a stranger, care was taken to have it made so clean, that the
  dust was not offensive. However, this was a peculiar grace, not
  allowed to any but persons of the highest rank, when they desire
  an admittance. Nay, sometimes the floor is strewed with dust on
  purpose, when the person to be admitted happens to have
  powerful enemies at court; and I have seen a great lord with his
  mouth so crammed, that when he had crept to the proper distance
  from the throne; he was not able to speak a word. Neither is there
  any remedy; because it is capital for those, who receive an
  audience to spit or wipe their mouths in his majesty's presence.
  There is indeed another custom, which I cannot altogether
  approve of: when the king has a mind to put any of his nobles to
  death in a gentle indulgent manner, he commands the floor to be
  strewed with a certain brown powder of a deadly composition,.
  which being licked up, infallibly kills him in twenty-four hours.
  But in justice to this prince's great clemency, and the care he has
  of his subjects' lives (wherein it were much to be wished that the
  Monarchs of Europe would imitate him), it must be mentioned for
  his honour, that strict orders are given to have the infected parts of
  the floor well washed after every such execution, which, if his
  domestics neglect, they are in danger of incurring his royal
  displeasure. I myself heard him give directions, that one of his
  pages should be whipped, whose turn it was to give notice about
  washing the floor after an execution, but maliciously had omitted
  it; by which neglect a young lord of great hopes, coming to an
  audience, was unfortunately poisoned, although the king at that
  time had no design against his life. But this good prince was so
  gracious as to forgive the poor page his whipping, upon promise
  that he would do so no more, without special orders.
  To return from this digression. When I had crept within four yards
  of the throne, I raised myself gently upon my knees, and then
  striking my forehead seven times against the ground, I
  pronounced the following words, as they had been taught me the
  night before, INCKPLING GLOFFTHROBB SQUUT
  SERUMMBLHIOP MLASHNALT ZWIN TNODBALKUFFH
  SLHIOPHAD GURDLUBH ASHT. This is the compliment,
  established by the laws of the land, for all persons admitted to the
  king's presence. It may be rendered into English thus: "May your
  celestial majesty outlive the sun, eleven moons and a half!" To
  this the king returned some answer, which, although I could not
  understand, yet I replied as I had been directed: FLUFT DRIN
  YALERICK DWULDOM PRASTRAD MIRPUSH, which.
  properly signifies, "My tongue is in the mouth of my friend;" and
  by this expression was meant, that I desired leave to bring my
  interpreter; whereupon the young man already mentioned was
  accordingly introduced, by whose intervention I answered as
  many questions as his majesty could put in above an hour. I spoke
  in the Balnibarbian tongue, and my interpreter delivered my
  meaning in that of Luggnagg.
  The king was much delighted with my company, and ordered his
  BLIFFMARKLUB, or high-chamberlain, to appoint a lodging in
  the court for me and my interpreter; with a daily allowance for my
  table, and a large purse of gold for my common expenses.
  I staid three months in this country, out of perfect obedience to his
  majesty; who was pleased highly to favour me, and made me very
  honourable offers. But I thought it more consistent with prudence
  and justice to pass the remainder of my days with my wife and
  family..
  
  
CHAPTER X.
  
  [The Luggnaggians commended. A particular description of the
  Struldbrugs, with many conversations between the author and
  some eminent persons upon that subject.]
  The Luggnaggians are a polite and generous people; and although
  they are not without some share of that pride which is peculiar to
  all Eastern countries, yet they show themselves courteous to
  strangers, especially such who are countenanced by the court. I
  had many acquaintance, and among persons of the best fashion;
  and being always attended by my interpreter, the conversation we
  had was not disagreeable.
  One day, in much good company, I was asked by a person of
  quality, "whether I had seen any of their STRULDBRUGS, or
  immortals?" I said, "I had not;" and desired he would explain to
  me "what he meant by such an appellation, applied to a mortal
  creature." He told me "that sometimes, though very rarely, a child
  happened to be born in a family, with a red circular spot in the
  forehead, directly over the left eyebrow, which was an infallible
  mark that it should never die." The spot, as he described it, "was
  about the compass of a silver threepence, but in the course of time
  grew larger, and changed its colour; for at twelve years old it
  became green, so continued till five and twenty, then turned to a.
  deep blue: at five and forty it grew coal black, and as large as an
  English shilling; but never admitted any further alteration." He
  said, "these births were so rare, that he did not believe there could
  be above eleven hundred struldbrugs, of both sexes, in the whole
  kingdom; of which he computed about fifty in the metropolis,
  and, among the rest, a young girl born; about three years ago: that
  these productions were not peculiar to any family, but a mere
  effect of chance; and the children of the STRULDBRUGS
  themselves were equally mortal with the rest of the people."
  I freely own myself to have been struck with inexpressible
  delight, upon hearing this account: and the person who gave it me
  happening to understand the Balnibarbian language, which I
  spoke very well, I could not forbear breaking out into expressions,
  perhaps a little too extravagant. I cried out, as in a rapture, "Happy
  nation, where every child hath at least a chance for being
  immortal! Happy people, who enjoy so many living examples of
  ancient virtue, and have masters ready to instruct them in the
  wisdom of all former ages! but happiest, beyond all comparison,
  are those excellent STRULDBRUGS, who, being born exempt
  from that universal calamity of human nature, have their minds
  free and disengaged, without the weight and depression of spirits
  caused by the continual apprehensions of death!" I discovered my
  admiration that I had not observed any of these illustrious persons
  at court; the black spot on the forehead being so remarkable a
  distinction, that I could not have easily overlooked it: and it was
  impossible that his majesty, a most judicious prince, should not
  provide himself with a good number of such wise and able
  counsellors. Yet perhaps the virtue of those reverend sages was.
  too strict for the corrupt and libertine manners of a court: and we
  often find by experience, that young men are too opinionated and
  volatile to be guided by the sober dictates of their seniors.
  However, since the king was pleased to allow me access to his
  royal person, I was resolved, upon the very first occasion, to
  deliver my opinion to him on this matter freely and at large, by the
  help of my interpreter; and whether he would please to take my
  advice or not, yet in one thing I was determined, that his majesty
  having frequently offered me an establishment in this country, I
  would, with great thankfulness, accept the favour, and pass my
  life here in the conversation of those superior beings the
  STRULDBRUGS, if they would please to admit me."
  The gentleman to whom I addressed my discourse, because (as I
  have already observed) he spoke the language of Balnibarbi, said
  to me, with a sort of a smile which usually arises from pity to the
  ignorant, "that he was glad of any occasion to keep me among
  them, and desired my permission to explain to the company what I
  had spoke." He did so, and they talked together for some time in
  their own language, whereof I understood not a syllable, neither
  could I observe by their countenances, what impression my
  discourse had made on them. After a short silence, the same
  person told me, "that his friends and mine (so he thought fit to
  express himself) were very much pleased with the judicious
  remarks I had made on the great happiness and advantages of
  immortal life, and they were desirous to know, in a particular
  manner, what scheme of living I should have formed to myself, if
  it had fallen to my lot to have been born a STRULDBRUG.".
  I answered, "it was easy to be eloquent on so copious and
  delightful a subject, especially to me, who had been often apt to
  amuse myself with visions of what I should do, if I were a king, a
  general, or a great lord: and upon this very case, I had frequently
  run over the whole system how I should employ myself, and pass
  the time, if I were sure to live for ever.
  "That, if it had been my good fortune to come into the world a
  STRULDBRUG, as soon as I could discover my own happiness,
  by understanding the difference between life and death, I would
  first resolve, by all arts and methods, whatsoever, to procure
  myself riches. In the pursuit of which, by thrift and management, I
  might reasonably expect, in about two hundred years, to be the
  wealthiest man in the kingdom. In the second place, I would, from
  my earliest youth, apply myself to the study of arts and sciences,
  by which I should arrive in time to excel all others in learning.
  Lastly, I would carefully record every action and event of
  consequence, that happened in the public, impartially draw the
  characters of the several successions of princes and great
  ministers of state, with my own observations on every point. I
  would exactly set down the several changes in customs, language,
  fashions of dress, diet, and diversions. By all which acquirements,
  I should be a living treasure of knowledge and wisdom, and
  certainly become the oracle of the nation.
  "I would never marry after threescore, but live in a hospitable
  manner, yet still on the saving side. I would entertain myself in
  forming and directing the minds of hopeful young men, by
  convincing them, from my own remembrance, experience, and.
  observation, fortified by numerous examples, of the usefulness of
  virtue in public and private life. But my choice and constant
  companions should be a set of my own immortal brotherhood;
  among whom, I would elect a dozen from the most ancient, down
  to my own contemporaries. Where any of these wanted fortunes, I
  would provide them with convenient lodges round my own estate,
  and have some of them always at my table; only mingling a few of
  the most valuable among you mortals, whom length of time would
  harden me to lose with little or no reluctance, and treat your
  posterity after the same manner; just as a man diverts himself with
  the annual succession of pinks and tulips in his garden, without
  regretting the loss of those which withered the preceding year.
  "These STRULDBRUGS and I would mutually communicate our
  observations and memorials, through the course of time; remark
  the several gradations by which corruption steals into the world,
  and oppose it in every step, by giving perpetual warning and
  instruction to mankind; which, added to the strong influence of
  our own example, would probably prevent that continual
  degeneracy of human nature so justly complained of in all ages.
  "Add to this, the pleasure of seeing the various revolutions of
  states and empires; the changes in the lower and upper world;
  ancient cities in ruins, and obscure villages become the seats of
  kings; famous rivers lessening into shallow brooks; the ocean
  leaving one coast dry, and overwhelming another; the discovery
  of many countries yet unknown; barbarity overrunning the
  politest nations, and the most barbarous become civilized. I.
  should then see the discovery of the longitude, the perpetual
  motion, the universal medicine, and many other great inventions,
  brought to the utmost perfection.
  "What wonderful discoveries should we make in astronomy, by
  outliving and confirming our own predictions; by observing the
  progress and return of comets, with the changes of motion in the
  sun, moon, and stars!"
  I enlarged upon many other topics, which the natural desire of
  endless life, and sublunary happiness, could easily furnish me
  with. When I had ended, and the sum of my discourse had been
  interpreted, as before, to the rest of the company, there was a good
  deal of talk among them in the language of the country, not
  without some laughter at my expense. At last, the same gentleman
  who had been my interpreter, said, "he was desired by the rest to
  set me right in a few mistakes, which I had fallen into through the
  common imbecility of human nature, and upon that allowance
  was less answerable for them. That this breed of
  STRULDBRUGS was peculiar to their country, for there were no
  such people either in Balnibarbi or Japan, where he had the
  honour to be ambassador from his majesty, and found the natives
  in both those kingdoms very hard to believe that the fact was
  possible: and it appeared from my astonishment when he first
  mentioned the matter to me, that I received it as a thing wholly
  new, and scarcely to be credited. That in the two kingdoms above
  mentioned, where, during his residence, he had conversed very
  much, he observed long life to be the universal desire and wish of
  mankind. That whoever had one foot in the grave was sure to hold.
  back the other as strongly as he could. That the oldest had still
  hopes of living one day longer, and looked on death as the greatest
  evil, from which nature always prompted him to retreat. Only in
  this island of Luggnagg the appetite for living was not so eager,
  from the continual example of the STRULDBRUGS before their
  eyes.
  "That the system of living contrived by me, was unreasonable and
  unjust; because it supposed a perpetuity of youth, health, and
  vigour, which no man could be so foolish to hope, however
  extravagant he may be in his wishes. That the question therefore
  was not, whether a man would choose to be always in the prime of
  youth, attended with prosperity and health; but how he would pass
  a perpetual life under all the usual disadvantages which old age
  brings along with it. For although few men will avow their desires
  of being immortal, upon such hard conditions, yet in the two
  kingdoms before mentioned, of Balnibarbi and Japan, he observed
  that every man desired to put off death some time longer, let it
  approach ever so late: and he rarely heard of any man who died
  willingly, except he were incited by the extremity of grief or
  torture. And he appealed to me, whether in those countries I had
  travelled, as well as my own, I had not observed the same general
  disposition."
  After this preface, he gave me a particular account of the
  STRULDBRUGS among them. He said, "they commonly acted
  like mortals till about thirty years old; after which, by degrees,
  they grew melancholy and dejected, increasing in both till they
  came to fourscore. This he learned from their own confession: for.
  otherwise, there not being above two or three of that species born
  in an age, they were too few to form a general observation by.
  When they came to fourscore years, which is reckoned the
  extremity of living in this country, they had not only all the follies
  and infirmities of other old men, but many more which arose from
  the dreadful prospect of never dying. They were not only
  opinionative, peevish, covetous, morose, vain, talkative, but
  incapable of friendship, and dead to all natural affection, which
  never descended below their grandchildren. Envy and impotent
  desires are their prevailing passions. But those objects against
  which their envy seems principally directed, are the vices of the
  younger sort and the deaths of the old. By reflecting on the
  former, they find themselves cut off from all possibility of
  pleasure; and whenever they see a funeral, they lament and repine
  that others have gone to a harbour of rest to which they
  themselves never can hope to arrive. They have no remembrance
  of anything but what they learned and observed in their youth and
  middle-age, and even that is very imperfect; and for the truth or
  particulars of any fact, it is safer to depend on common tradition,
  than upon their best recollections. The least miserable among
  them appear to be those who turn to dotage, and entirely lose their
  memories; these meet with more pity and assistance, because they
  want many bad qualities which abound in others.
  "If a STRULDBRUG happen to marry one of his own kind, the
  marriage is dissolved of course, by the courtesy of the kingdom,
  as soon as the younger of the two comes to be fourscore; for the
  law thinks it a reasonable indulgence, that those who are.
  condemned, without any fault of their own, to a perpetual
  continuance in the world, should not have their misery doubled by
  the load of a wife.
  "As soon as they have completed the term of eighty years, they
  are looked on as dead in law; their heirs immediately succeed to
  their estates; only a small pittance is reserved for their support;
  and the poor ones are maintained at the public charge. After that
  period, they are held incapable of any employment of trust or
  profit; they cannot purchase lands, or take leases; neither are they
  allowed to be witnesses in any cause, either civil or criminal, not
  even for the decision of meers and bounds.
  "At ninety, they lose their teeth and hair; they have at that age no
  distinction of taste, but eat and drink whatever they can get,
  without relish or appetite. The diseases they were subject to still
  continue, without increasing or diminishing. In talking, they
  forget the common appellation of things, and the names of
  persons, even of those who are their nearest friends and relations.
  For the same reason, they never can amuse themselves with
  reading, because their memory will not serve to carry them from
  the beginning of a sentence to the end; and by this defect, they are
  deprived of the only entertainment whereof they might otherwise
  be capable.
  The language of this country being always upon the flux, the
  STRULDBRUGS of one age do not understand those of another;
  neither are they able, after two hundred years, to hold any.
  conversation (farther than by a few general words) with their
  neighbours the mortals; and thus they lie under the disadvantage
  of living like foreigners in their own country."
  This was the account given me of the STRULDBRUGS, as near
  as I can remember. I afterwards saw five or six of different ages,
  the youngest not above two hundred years old, who were brought
  to me at several times by some of my friends; but although they
  were told, "that I was a great traveller, and had seen all the world,"
  they had not the least curiosity to ask me a question; only desired
  "I would give them SLUMSKUDASK," or a token of
  remembrance; which is a modest way of begging, to avoid the
  law, that strictly forbids it, because they are provided for by the
  public, although indeed with a very scanty allowance.
  They are despised and hated by all sorts of people. When one of
  them is born, it is reckoned ominous, and their birth is recorded
  very particularly so that you may know their age by consulting the
  register, which, however, has not been kept above a thousand
  years past, or at least has been destroyed by time or public
  disturbances. But the usual way of computing how old they are, is
  by asking them what kings or great persons they can remember,
  and then consulting history; for infallibly the last prince in their
  mind did not begin his reign after they were four-score years old.
  They were the most mortifying sight I ever beheld; and the
  women more horrible than the men. Besides the usual deformities
  in extreme old age, they acquired an additional ghastliness, in
  proportion to their number of years, which is not to be described;.
  and among half a dozen, I soon distinguished which was the
  eldest, although there was not above a century or two between
  them.
  The reader will easily believe, that from what I had hear and seen,
  my keen appetite for perpetuity of life was much abated. I grew
  heartily ashamed of the pleasing visions I had formed; and
  thought no tyrant could invent a death into which I would not run
  with pleasure, from such a life. The king heard of all that had
  passed between me and my friends upon this occasion, and rallied
  me very pleasantly; wishing I could send a couple of
  STRULDBRUGS to my own country, to arm our people against
  the fear of death; but this, it seems, is forbidden by the
  fundamental laws of the kingdom, or else I should have been well
  content with the trouble and expense of transporting them.
  I could not but agree, that the laws of this kingdom relative to the
  STRULDBRUGS were founded upon the strongest reasons, and
  such as any other country would be under the necessity of
  enacting, in the like circumstances. Otherwise, as avarice is the
  necessary consequence of old age, those immortals would in time
  become proprietors of the whole nation, and engross the civil
  power, which, for want of abilities to manage, must end in the ruin
  of the public..
  
  
CHAPTER XI.
  
  [The author leaves Luggnagg, and sails to Japan. From thence he
  returns in a Dutch ship to Amsterdam, and from Amsterdam to
  England.]
  I thought this account of the STRULDBRUGS might be some
  entertainment to the reader, because it seems to be a little out of
  the common way; at least I do not remember to have met the like
  in any book of travels that has come to my hands: and if I am
  deceived, my excuse must be, that it is necessary for travellers
  who describe the same country, very often to agree in dwelling on
  the same particulars, without deserving the censure of having
  borrowed or transcribed from those who wrote before them.
  There is indeed a perpetual commerce between this kingdom and
  the great empire of Japan; and it is very probable, that the
  Japanese authors may have given some account of the
  STRULDBRUGS; but my stay in Japan was so short, and I was so
  entirely a stranger to the language, that I was not qualified to
  make any inquiries. But I hope the Dutch, upon this notice, will
  be curious and able enough to supply my defects..
  His majesty having often pressed me to accept some employment
  in his court, and finding me absolutely determined to return to my
  native country, was pleased to give me his license to depart; and
  honoured me with a letter of recommendation, under his own
  hand, to the Emperor of Japan. He likewise presented me with
  four hundred and forty-four large pieces of gold (this nation
  delighting in even numbers), and a red diamond, which I sold in
  England for eleven hundred pounds.
  On the 6th of May, 1709, I took a solemn leave of his majesty, and
  all my friends. This prince was so gracious as to order a guard to
  conduct me to Glanguenstald, which is a royal port to the south-west
  part of the island. In six days I found a vessel ready to carry
  me to Japan, and spent fifteen days in the voyage.
  We landed at a small port-town called Xamoschi, situated on the
  south-east part of Japan; the town lies on the western point, where
  there is a narrow strait leading northward into along arm of the
  sea, upon the north-west part of which, Yedo, the metropolis,
  stands. At landing, I showed the custom-house officers my letter
  from the king of Luggnagg to his imperial majesty. They knew the
  seal perfectly well; it was as broad as the palm of my hand. The
  impression was, A KING LIFTING UP A LAME BEGGAR
  FROM THE EARTH. The magistrates of the town, hearing of my
  letter, received me as a public minister. They provided me with
  carriages and servants, and bore my charges to Yedo; where I was
  admitted to an audience, and delivered my letter, which was
  opened with great ceremony, and explained to the Emperor by an
  interpreter, who then gave me notice, by his majesty's order, "that.
  I should signify my request, and, whatever it were, it should be
  granted, for the sake of his royal brother of Luggnagg." This
  interpreter was a person employed to transact affairs with the
  Hollanders. He soon conjectured, by my countenance, that I was a
  European, and therefore repeated his majesty's commands in Low
  Dutch, which he spoke perfectly well. I answered, as I had before
  determined, "that I was a Dutch merchant, shipwrecked in a very
  remote country, whence I had travelled by sea and land to
  Luggnagg, and then took shipping for Japan; where I knew my
  countrymen often traded, and with some of these I hoped to get an
  opportunity of returning into Europe: I therefore most humbly
  entreated his royal favour, to give order that I should be conducted
  in safety to Nangasac." To this I added another petition, "that for
  the sake of my patron the king of Luggnagg, his majesty would
  condescend to excuse my performing the ceremony imposed on
  my countrymen, of trampling upon the crucifix: because I had
  been thrown into his kingdom by my misfortunes, without any
  intention of trading." When this latter petition was interpreted to
  the Emperor, he seemed a little surprised; and said, "he believed I
  was the first of my countrymen who ever made any scruple in this
  point; and that he began to doubt, whether I was a real Hollander,
  or not; but rather suspected I must be a Christian. However, for
  the reasons I had offered, but chiefly to gratify the king of
  Luggnagg by an uncommon mark of his favour, he would comply
  with the singularity of my humour; but the affair must be managed
  with dexterity, and his officers should be commanded to let me
  pass, as it were by forgetfulness. For he assured me, that if the
  secret should be discovered by my countrymen the Dutch, they
  would cut my throat in the voyage." I returned my thanks, by the.
  interpreter, for so unusual a favour; and some troops being at that
  time on their march to Nangasac, the commanding officer had
  orders to convey me safe thither, with particular instructions about
  the business of the crucifix.
  On the 9th day of June, 1709, I arrived at Nangasac, after a very
  long and troublesome journey. I soon fell into the company of
  some Dutch sailors belonging to the Amboyna, of Amsterdam, a
  stout ship of 450 tons. I had lived long in Holland, pursuing my
  studies at Leyden, and I spoke Dutch well. The seamen soon knew
  whence I came last: they were curious to inquire into my voyages
  and course of life. I made up a story as short and probable as I
  could, but concealed the greatest part. I knew many persons in
  Holland. I was able to invent names for my parents, whom I
  pretended to be obscure people in the province of Gelderland. I
  would have given the captain (one Theodorus Vangrult) what he
  pleased to ask for my voyage to Holland; but understanding I was
  a surgeon, he was contented to take half the usual rate, on
  condition that I would serve him in the way of my calling. Before
  we took shipping, I was often asked by some of the crew, whether
  I had performed the ceremony above mentioned? I evaded the
  question by general answers; "that I had satisfied the Emperor and
  court in all particulars." However, a malicious rogue of a skipper
  went to an officer, and pointing to me, told him, "I had not yet
  trampled on the crucifix;" but the other, who had received
  instructions to let me pass, gave the rascal twenty strokes on the
  shoulders with a bamboo; after which I was no more troubled with
  such questions..
  Nothing happened worth mentioning in this voyage. We sailed
  with a fair wind to the Cape of Good Hope, where we staid only to
  take in fresh water. On the 10th of April, 1710, we arrived safe at
  Amsterdam, having lost only three men by sickness in the voyage,
  and a fourth, who fell from the foremast into the sea, not far from
  the coast of Guinea. From Amsterdam I soon after set sail for
  England, in a small vessel belonging to that city.
  On the 16th of April we put in at the Downs. I landed next
  morning, and saw once more my native country, after an absence
  of five years and six months complete. I went straight to Redriff,
  where I arrived the same day at two in the afternoon, and found
  my wife and family in good health..
  
  
 * PART IV. A VOYAGE TO THE COUNTRY OF THE HOUYHNHNMS * 
  
  
  
CHAPTER I.
  
  [The author sets out as captain of a ship. His men conspire against
  him, confine him a long time to his cabin, and set him on shore in
  an unknown land. He travels up into the country. The Yahoos, a
  strange sort of animal, described. The author meets two
  Houyhnhnms.]
  I continued at home with my wife and children about five months,
  in a very happy condition, if I could have learned the lesson of
  knowing when I was well. I left my poor wife big with child, and
  accepted an advantageous offer made me to be captain of the
  Adventurer, a stout merchantman of 350 tons: for I understood
  navigation well, and being grown weary of a surgeon's
  employment at sea, which, however, I could exercise upon
  occasion, I took a skilful young man of that calling, one Robert
  Purefoy, into my ship. We set sail from Portsmouth upon the 7th
  day of September, 1710; on the 14th we met with Captain Pocock,
  of Bristol, at Teneriffe, who was going to the bay of Campechy to
  cut logwood. On the 16th, he was parted from us by a storm; I
  heard since my return, that his ship foundered, and none escaped
  but one cabin boy. He was an honest man, and a good sailor, but a
  little too positive in his own opinions, which was the cause of his.
  destruction, as it has been with several others; for if he had
  followed my advice, he might have been safe at home with his
  family at this time, as well as myself.
  I had several men who died in my ship of calentures, so that I was
  forced to get recruits out of Barbadoes and the Leeward Islands,
  where I touched, by the direction of the merchants who employed
  me; which I had soon too much cause to repent: for I found
  afterwards, that most of them had been buccaneers. I had fifty
  hands onboard; and my orders were, that I should trade with the
  Indians in the South-Sea, and make what discoveries I could.
  These rogues, whom I had picked up, debauched my other men,
  and they all formed a conspiracy to seize the ship, and secure me;
  which they did one morning, rushing into my cabin, and binding
  me hand and foot, threatening to throw me overboard, if I offered
  to stir. I told them, "I was their prisoner, and would submit." This
  they made me swear to do, and then they unbound me, only
  fastening one of my legs with a chain, near my bed, and placed a
  sentry at my door with his piece charged, who was commanded to
  shoot me dead if I attempted my liberty. They sent me own
  victuals and drink, and took the government of the ship to
  themselves. Their design was to turn pirates and, plunder the
  Spaniards, which they could not do till they got more men. But
  first they resolved to sell the goods the ship, and then go to
  Madagascar for recruits, several among them having died since
  my confinement. They sailed many weeks, and traded with the
  Indians; but I knew not what course they took, being kept a close
  prisoner in my cabin, and expecting nothing less than to be
  murdered, as they often threatened me..
  Upon the 9th day of May, 1711, one James Welch came down to
  my cabin, and said, "he had orders from the captain to set me
  ashore." I expostulated with him, but in vain; neither would he so
  much as tell me who their new captain was. They forced me into
  the long-boat, letting me put on my best suit of clothes, which
  were as good as new, and take a small bundle of linen, but no
  arms, except my hanger; and they were so civil as not to search
  my pockets, into which I conveyed what money I had, with some
  other little necessaries. They rowed about a league, and then set
  me down on a strand. I desired them to tell me what country it
  was. They all swore, "they knew no more than myself;" but said,
  "that the captain" (as they called him) "was resolved, after they
  had sold the lading, to get rid of me in the first place where they
  could discover land." They pushed off immediately, advising me
  to make haste for fear of being overtaken by the tide, and so bade
  me farewell.
  In this desolate condition I advanced forward, and soon got upon
  firm ground, where I sat down on a bank to rest myself, and
  consider what I had best do. When I was a little refreshed, I went
  up into the country, resolving to deliver myself to the first savages
  I should meet, and purchase my life from them by some bracelets,
  glass rings, and other toys, which sailors usually provide
  themselves with in those voyages, and whereof I had some about
  me. The land was divided by long rows of trees, not regularly
  planted, but naturally growing; there was great plenty of grass,
  and several fields of oats. I walked very circumspectly, for fear of
  being surprised, or suddenly shot with an arrow from behind, or.
  on either side. I fell into a beaten road, where I saw many tracts of
  human feet, and some of cows, but most of horses. At last I beheld
  several animals in a field, and one or two of the same kind sitting
  in trees. Their shape was very singular and deformed, which a
  little discomposed me, so that I lay down behind a thicket to
  observe them better. Some of them coming forward near the place
  where I lay, gave me an opportunity of distinctly marking their
  form. Their heads and breasts were covered with a thick hair,
  some frizzled, and others lank; they had beards like goats, and a
  long ridge of hair down their backs, and the fore parts of their legs
  and feet; but the rest of their bodies was bare, so that I might see
  their skins, which were of a brown buff colour. They had no tails,
  nor any hair at all on their buttocks, except about the anus, which,
  I presume, nature had placed there to defend them as they sat on
  the ground, for this posture they used, as well as lying down, and
  often stood on their hind feet. They climbed high trees as nimbly
  as a squirrel, for they had strong extended claws before and
  behind, terminating in sharp points, and hooked. They would
  often spring, and bound, and leap, with prodigious agility. The
  females were not so large as the males; they had long lank hair on
  their heads, but none on their faces, nor any thing more than a sort
  of down on the rest of their bodies, except about the anus and
  pudenda. The dugs hung between their fore feet, and often
  reached almost to the ground as they walked. The hair of both
  sexes was of several colours, brown, red, black, and yellow. Upon
  the whole, I never beheld, in all my travels, so disagreeable an
  animal, or one against which I naturally conceived so strong an
  antipathy. So that, thinking I had seen enough, full of contempt
  and aversion, I got up, and pursued the beaten road, hoping it.
  might direct me to the cabin of some Indian. I had not got far,
  when I met one of these creatures full in my way, and coming up
  directly to me. The ugly monster, when he saw me, distorted
  several ways, every feature of his visage, and stared, as at an
  object he had never seen before; then approaching nearer, lifted up
  his fore-paw, whether out of curiosity or mischief I could not tell;
  but I drew my hanger, and gave him a good blow with the flat side
  of it, for I durst not strike with the edge, fearing the inhabitants
  might be provoked against me, if they should come to know that I
  had killed or maimed any of their cattle. When the beast felt the
  smart, he drew back, and roared so loud, that a herd of at least
  forty came flocking about me from the next field, howling and
  making odious faces; but I ran to the body of a tree, and leaning
  my back against it, kept them off by waving my hanger. Several of
  this cursed brood, getting hold of the branches behind, leaped up
  into the tree, whence they began to discharge their excrements on
  my head; however, I escaped pretty well by sticking close to the
  stem of the tree, but was almost stifled with the filth, which fell
  about me on every side.
  In the midst of this distress, I observed them all to run away on a
  sudden as fast as they could; at which I ventured to leave the tree
  and pursue the road, wondering what it was that could put them
  into this fright. But looking on my left hand, I saw a horse
  walking softly in the field; which my persecutors having sooner
  discovered, was the cause of their flight. The horse started a little,
  when he came near me, but soon recovering himself, looked full
  in my face with manifest tokens of wonder; he viewed my hands
  and feet, walking round me several times. I would have pursued.
  my journey, but he placed himself directly in the way, yet looking
  with a very mild aspect, never offering the least violence. We
  stood gazing at each other for some time; at last I took the
  boldness to reach my hand towards his neck with a design to
  stroke it, using the common style and whistle of jockeys, when
  they are going to handle a strange horse. But this animal seemed
  to receive my civilities with disdain, shook his head, and bent his
  brows, softly raising up his right fore-foot to remove my hand.
  Then he neighed three or four times, but in so different a cadence,
  that I almost began to think he was speaking to himself, in some
  language of his own.
  While he and I were thus employed, another horse came up; who
  applying himself to the first in a very formal manner, they gently
  struck each other's right hoof before, neighing several times by
  turns, and varying the sound, which seemed to be almost
  articulate. They went some paces off, as if it were to confer
  together, walking side by side, backward and forward, like
  persons deliberating upon some affair of weight, but often turning
  their eyes towards me, as it were to watch that I might not escape.
  I was amazed to see such actions and behaviour in brute beasts;
  and concluded with myself, that if the inhabitants of this country
  were endued with a proportionable degree of reason, they must
  needs be the wisest people upon earth. This thought gave me so
  much comfort, that I resolved to go forward, until I could discover
  some house or village, or meet with any of the natives, leaving the
  two horses to discourse together as they pleased. But the first,
  who was a dapple gray, observing me to steal off, neighed after
  me in so expressive a tone, that I fancied myself to understand.
  what he meant; whereupon I turned back, and came near to him to
  expect his farther commands: but concealing my fear as much as I
  could, for I began to be in some pain how this adventure might
  terminate; and the reader will easily believe I did not much like
  my present situation.
  The two horses came up close to me, looking with great
  earnestness upon my face and hands. The gray steed rubbed my
  hat all round with his right fore-hoof, and discomposed it so much
  that I was forced to adjust it better by taking it off and settling it
  again; whereat, both he and his companion (who was a brown
  bay) appeared to be much surprised: the latter felt the lappet of my
  coat, and finding it to hang loose about me, they both looked with
  new signs of wonder. He stroked my right hand, seeming to
  admire the softness and colour; but he squeezed it so hard
  between his hoof and his pastern, that I was forced to roar; after
  which they both touched me with all possible tenderness. They
  were under great perplexity about my shoes and stockings, which
  they felt very often, neighing to each other, and using various
  gestures, not unlike those of a philosopher, when he would
  attempt to solve some new and difficult phenomenon.
  Upon the whole, the behaviour of these animals was so orderly
  and rational, so acute and judicious, that I at last concluded they
  must needs be magicians, who had thus metamorphosed
  themselves upon some design, and seeing a stranger in the way,
  resolved to divert themselves with him; or, perhaps, were really
  amazed at the sight of a man so very different in habit, feature,
  and complexion, from those who might probably live in so remote.
  a climate. Upon the strength of this reasoning, I ventured to
  address them in the following manner: "Gentlemen, if you be
  conjurers, as I have good cause to believe, you can understand my
  language; therefore I make bold to let your worships know that I
  am a poor distressed Englishman, driven by his misfortunes upon
  your coast; and I entreat one of you to let me ride upon his back,
  as if he were a real horse, to some house or village where I can be
  relieved. In return of which favour, I will make you a present of
  this knife and bracelet," taking them out of my pocket. The two
  creatures stood silent while I spoke, seeming to listen with great
  attention, and when I had ended, they neighed frequently towards
  each other, as if they were engaged in serious conversation. I
  plainly observed that their language expressed the passions very
  well, and the words might, with little pains, be resolved into an
  alphabet more easily than the Chinese.
  I could frequently distinguish the word YAHOO, which was
  repeated by each of them several times: and although it was
  impossible for me to conjecture what it meant, yet while the two
  horses were busy in conversation, I endeavoured to practise this
  word upon my tongue; and as soon as they were silent, I boldly
  pronounced YAHOO in a loud voice, imitating at the same time,
  as near as I could, the neighing of a horse; at which they were both
  visibly surprised; and the gray repeated the same word twice, as if
  he meant to teach me the right accent; wherein I spoke after him
  as well as I could, and found myself perceivably to improve every
  time, though very far from any degree of perfection. Then the bay
  tried me with a second word, much harder to be pronounced; but
  reducing it to the English orthography, may be spelt thus,.
  HOUYHNHNM. I did not succeed in this so well as in the former;
  but after two or three farther trials, I had better fortune; and they
  both appeared amazed at my capacity.
  After some further discourse, which I then conjectured might
  relate to me, the two friends took their leaves, with the same
  compliment of striking each other's hoof; and the gray made me
  signs that I should walk before him; wherein I thought it prudent
  to comply, till I could find a better director. When I offered to
  slacken my pace, he would cry HHUUN HHUUN: I guessed his
  meaning, and gave him to understand, as well as I could, "that I
  was weary, and not able to walk faster;" upon which he would
  stand awhile to let me rest..
  
  
CHAPTER II.
  
  [The author conducted by a Houyhnhnm to his house. The house
  described. The author's reception. The food of the Houyhnhnms.
  The author in distress for want of meat. Is at last relieved. His
  manner of feeding in this country.]
  Having travelled about three miles, we came to a long kind of
  building, made of timber stuck in the ground, and wattled across;
  the roof was low and covered with straw. I now began to be a little
  comforted; and took out some toys, which travellers usually carry
  for presents to the savage Indians of America, and other parts, in
  hopes the people of the house would be thereby encouraged to
  receive me kindly. The horse made me a sign to go in first; it was
  a large room with a smooth clay floor, and a rack and manger,
  extending the whole length on one side. There were three nags
  and two mares, not eating, but some of them sitting down upon
  their hams, which I very much wondered at; but wondered more
  to see the rest employed in domestic business; these seemed but
  ordinary cattle. However, this confirmed my first opinion, that a
  people who could so far civilise brute animals, must needs excel
  in wisdom all the nations of the world..
  The gray came in just after, and thereby prevented any ill
  treatment which the others might have given me. He neighed to
  them several times in a style of authority, and received answers.
  Beyond this room there were three others, reaching the length of
  the house, to which you passed through three doors, opposite to
  each other, in the manner of a vista. We went through the second
  room towards the third. Here the gray walked in first, beckoning
  me to attend: I waited in the second room, and got ready my
  presents for the master and mistress of the house; they were two
  knives, three bracelets of false pearls, a small looking-glass, and a
  bead necklace. The horse neighed three or four times, and I waited
  to hear some answers in a human voice, but I heard no other
  returns than in the same dialect, only one or two a little shriller
  than his. I began to think that this house must belong to some
  person of great note among them, because there appeared so much
  ceremony before I could gain admittance. But, that a man of
  quality should be served all by horses, was beyond my
  comprehension. I feared my brain was disturbed by my sufferings
  and misfortunes. I roused myself, and looked about me in the
  room where I was left alone: this was furnished like the first, only
  after a more elegant manner. I rubbed my eyes often, but the same
  objects still occurred. I pinched my arms and sides to awake
  myself, hoping I might be in a dream. I then absolutely concluded,
  that all these appearances could be nothing else but necromancy
  and magic. But I had no time to pursue these reflections; for the
  gray horse came to the door, and made me a sign to follow him.
  into the third room where I saw a very comely mare, together with
  a colt and foal, sitting on their haunches upon mats of straw, not
  unartfully made, and perfectly neat and clean.
  The mare soon after my entrance rose from her mat, and coming
  up close, after having nicely observed my hands and face, gave
  me a most contemptuous look; and turning to the horse, I heard
  the word YAHOO often repeated betwixt them; the meaning of
  which word I could not then comprehend, although it was the first
  I had learned to pronounce. But I was soon better informed, to my
  everlasting mortification; for the horse, beckoning to me with his
  head, and repeating the HHUUN, HHUUN, as he did upon the
  road, which I understood was to attend him, led me out into a kind
  of court, where was another building, at some distance from the
  house. Here we entered, and I saw three of those detestable
  creatures, which I first met after my landing, feeding upon roots,
  and the flesh of some animals, which I afterwards found to be that
  of asses and dogs, and now and then a cow, dead by accident or
  disease. They were all tied by the neck with strong withes
  fastened to a beam; they held their food between the claws of their
  fore feet, and tore it with their teeth.
  The master horse ordered a sorrel nag, one of his servants, to untie
  the largest of these animals, and take him into the yard. The beast
  and I were brought close together, and by our countenances
  diligently compared both by master and servant, who thereupon
  repeated several times the word YAHOO. My horror and
  astonishment are not to be described, when I observed in this
  abominable animal, a perfect human figure: the face of it indeed.
  was flat and broad, the nose depressed, the lips large, and the
  mouth wide; but these differences are common to all savage
  nations, where the lineaments of the countenance are distorted, by
  the natives suffering their infants to lie grovelling on the earth, or
  by carrying them on their backs, nuzzling with their face against
  the mothers' shoulders. The fore-feet of the YAHOO differed from
  my hands in nothing else but the length of the nails, the coarseness
  and brownness of the palms, and the hairiness on the backs. There
  was the same resemblance between our feet, with the same
  differences; which I knew very well, though the horses did not,
  because of my shoes and stockings; the same in every part of our
  bodies except as to hairiness and colour, which I have already
  described.
  The great difficulty that seemed to stick with the two horses, was
  to see the rest of my body so very different from that of a
  YAHOO, for which I was obliged to my clothes, whereof they had
  no conception. The sorrel nag offered me a root, which he held
  (after their manner, as we shall describe in its proper place)
  between his hoof and pastern; I took it in my hand, and, having
  smelt it, returned it to him again as civilly as I could. He brought
  out of the YAHOOS' kennel a piece of ass's flesh; but it smelt so
  offensively that I turned from it with loathing: he then threw it to
  the YAHOO, by whom it was greedily devoured. He afterwards
  showed me a wisp of hay, and a fetlock full of oats; but I shook
  my head, to signify that neither of these were food for me. And
  indeed I now apprehended that I must absolutely starve, if I did
  not get to some of my own species; for as to those filthy
  YAHOOS, although there were few greater lovers of mankind at.
  that time than myself, yet I confess I never saw any sensitive
  being so detestable on all accounts; and the more I came near
  them the more hateful they grew, while I stayed in that country.
  This the master horse observed by my behaviour, and therefore
  sent the YAHOO back to his kennel. He then put his fore-hoof to
  his mouth, at which I was much surprised, although he did it with
  ease, and with a motion that appeared perfectly natural, and made
  other signs, to know what I would eat; but I could not return him
  such an answer as he was able to apprehend; and if he had
  understood me, I did not see how it was possible to contrive any
  way for finding myself nourishment. While we were thus
  engaged, I observed a cow passing by, whereupon I pointed to her,
  and expressed a desire to go and milk her. This had its effect; for
  he led me back into the house, and ordered a mare-servant to open
  a room, where a good store of milk lay in earthen and wooden
  vessels, after a very orderly and cleanly manner. She gave me a
  large bowlful, of which I drank very heartily, and found myself
  well refreshed.
  About noon, I saw coming towards the house a kind of vehicle
  drawn like a sledge by four YAHOOS. There was in it an old
  steed, who seemed to be of quality; he alighted with his hind-feet
  forward, having by accident got a hurt in his left fore-foot. He
  came to dine with our horse, who received him with great civility.
  They dined in the best room, and had oats boiled in milk for the
  second course, which the old horse ate warm, but the rest cold.
  Their mangers were placed circular in the middle of the room, and
  divided into several partitions, round which they sat on their
  haunches, upon bosses of straw. In the middle was a large rack,.
  with angles answering to every partition of the manger; so that
  each horse and mare ate their own hay, and their own mash of oats
  and milk, with much decency and regularity. The behaviour of the
  young colt and foal appeared very modest, and that of the master
  and mistress extremely cheerful and complaisant to their guest.
  The gray ordered me to stand by him; and much discourse passed
  between him and his friend concerning me, as I found by the
  stranger's often looking on me, and the frequent repetition of the
  word YAHOO.
  I happened to wear my gloves, which the master gray observing,
  seemed perplexed, discovering signs of wonder what I had done
  to my fore-feet. He put his hoof three or four times to them, as if
  he would signify, that I should reduce them to their former shape,
  which I presently did, pulling off both my gloves, and putting
  them into my pocket. This occasioned farther talk; and I saw the
  company was pleased with my behaviour, whereof I soon found
  the good effects. I was ordered to speak the few words I
  understood; and while they were at dinner, the master taught me
  the names for oats, milk, fire, water, and some others, which I
  could readily pronounce after him, having from my youth a great
  facility in learning languages.
  When dinner was done, the master horse took me aside, and by
  signs and words made me understand the concern he was in that I
  had nothing to eat. Oats in their tongue are called HLUNNH.
  This word I pronounced two or three times; for although I had
  refused them at first, yet, upon second thoughts, I considered that
  I could contrive to make of them a kind of bread, which might be.
  sufficient, with milk, to keep me alive, till I could make my
  escape to some other country, and to creatures of my own species.
  The horse immediately ordered a white mare servant of his family
  to bring me a good quantity of oats in a sort of wooden tray. These
  I heated before the fire, as well as I could, and rubbed them till the
  husks came off, which I made a shift to winnow from the grain. I
  ground and beat them between two stones; then took water, and
  made them into a paste or cake, which I toasted at the fire and eat
  warm with milk. It was at first a very insipid diet, though common
  enough in many parts of Europe, but grew tolerable by time; and
  having been often reduced to hard fare in my life, this was not the
  first experiment I had made how easily nature is satisfied. And I
  cannot but observe, that I never had one hours sickness while I
  stayed in this island. It is true, I sometimes made a shift to catch a
  rabbit, or bird, by springs made of YAHOO'S hairs; and I often
  gathered wholesome herbs, which I boiled, and ate as salads with
  my bread; and now and then, for a rarity, I made a little butter, and
  drank the whey. I was at first at a great loss for salt, but custom
  soon reconciled me to the want of it; and I am confident that the
  frequent use of salt among us is an effect of luxury, and was first
  introduced only as a provocative to drink, except where it is
  necessary for preserving flesh in long voyages, or in places
  remote from great markets; for we observe no animal to be fond
  of it but man, and as to myself, when I left this country, it was a
  great while before I could endure the taste of it in anything that I
  ate..
  This is enough to say upon the subject of my diet, wherewith other
  travellers fill their books, as if the readers were personally
  concerned whether we fare well or ill. However, it was necessary
  to mention this matter, lest the world should think it impossible
  that I could find sustenance for three years in such a country, and
  among such inhabitants.
  When it grew towards evening, the master horse ordered a place
  for me to lodge in; it was but six yards from the house and
  separated from the stable of the YAHOOS. Here I got some straw,
  and covering myself with my own clothes, slept very sound. But I
  was in a short time better accommodated, as the reader shall know
  hereafter, when I come to treat more particularly about my way of
  living..
  
  
CHAPTER III.
  
  [The author studies to learn the language. The Houyhnhnm, his
  master, assists in teaching him. The language described. Several
  Houyhnhnms of quality come out of curiosity to see the author.
  He gives his master a short account of his voyage.]
  My principal endeavour was to learn the language, which my
  master (for so I shall henceforth call him), and his children, and
  every servant of his house, were desirous to teach me; for they
  looked upon it as a prodigy, that a brute animal should discover
  such marks of a rational creature. I pointed to every thing, and
  inquired the name of it, which I wrote down in my journal-book
  when I was alone, and corrected my bad accent by desiring those
  of the family to pronounce it often. In this employment, a sorrel
  nag, one of the under-servants, was very ready to assist me.
  In speaking, they pronounced through the nose and throat, and
  their language approaches nearest to the High-Dutch, or German,
  of any I know in Europe; but is much more graceful and
  significant. The emperor Charles V. made almost the same
  observation, when he said "that if he were to speak to his horse, it
  should be in High-Dutch.".
  The curiosity and impatience of my master were so great, that he
  spent many hours of his leisure to instruct me. He was convinced
  (as he afterwards told me) that I must be a YAHOO; but my
  teachableness, civility, and cleanliness, astonished him; which
  were qualities altogether opposite to those animals. He was most
  perplexed about my clothes, reasoning sometimes with himself,
  whether they were a part of my body: for I never pulled them off
  till the family were asleep, and got them on before they waked in
  the morning. My master was eager to learn "whence I came; how I
  acquired those appearances of reason, which I discovered in all
  my actions; and to know my story from my own mouth, which he
  hoped he should soon do by the great proficiency I made in
  learning and pronouncing their words and sentences." To help my
  memory, I formed all I learned into the English alphabet, and writ
  the words down, with the translations. This last, after some time, I
  ventured to do in my master's presence. It cost me much trouble to
  explain to him what I was doing; for the inhabitants have not the
  least idea of books or literature.
  In about ten weeks time, I was able to understand most of his
  questions; and in three months, could give him some tolerable
  answers. He was extremely curious to know "from what part of
  the country I came, and how I was taught to imitate a rational
  creature; because the YAHOOS (whom he saw I exactly
  resembled in my head, hands, and face, that were only visible),
  with some appearance of cunning, and the strongest disposition to
  mischief, were observed to be the most unteachable of all brutes."
  I answered, "that I came over the sea, from a far place, with many
  others of my own kind, in a great hollow vessel made of the.
  bodies of trees: that my companions forced me to land on this
  coast, and then left me to shift for myself." It was with some
  difficulty, and by the help of many signs, that I brought him to
  understand me. He replied, "that I must needs be mistaken, or that
  I said the thing which was not;" for they have no word in their
  language to express lying or falsehood. "He knew it was
  impossible that there could be a country beyond the sea, or that a
  parcel of brutes could move a wooden vessel whither they pleased
  upon water. He was sure no HOUYHNHNM alive could make
  such a vessel, nor would trust YAHOOS to manage it."
  The word HOUYHNHNM, in their tongue, signifies a HORSE,
  and, in its etymology, the PERFECTION OF NATURE. I told my
  master, "that I was at a loss for expression, but would improve as
  fast as I could; and hoped, in a short time, I should be able to tell
  him wonders." He was pleased to direct his own mare, his colt,
  and foal, and the servants of the family, to take all opportunities of
  instructing me; and every day, for two or three hours, he was at
  the same pains himself. Several horses and mares of quality in the
  neighbourhood came often to our house, upon the report spread of
  "a wonderful YAHOO, that could speak like a HOUYHNHNM,
  and seemed, in his words and actions, to discover some
  glimmerings of reason." These delighted to converse with me:
  they put many questions, and received such answers as I was able
  to return. By all these advantages I made so great a progress, that,
  in five months from my arrival I understood whatever was
  spoken, and could express myself tolerably well..
  The HOUYHNHNMS, who came to visit my master out of a
  design of seeing and talking with me, could hardly believe me to
  be a right YAHOO, because my body had a different covering
  from others of my kind. They were astonished to observe me
  without the usual hair or skin, except on my head, face, and hands;
  but I discovered that secret to my master upon an accident which
  happened about a fortnight before.
  I have already told the reader, that every night, when the family
  were gone to bed, it was my custom to strip, and cover myself
  with my clothes. It happened, one morning early, that my master
  sent for me by the sorrel nag, who was his valet. When he came I
  was fast asleep, my clothes fallen off on one side, and my shirt
  above my waist. I awaked at the noise he made, and observed him
  to deliver his message in some disorder; after which he went to
  my master, and in a great fright gave him a very confused account
  of what he had seen. This I presently discovered, for, going as
  soon as I was dressed to pay my attendance upon his honour, he
  asked me "the meaning of what his servant had reported, that I
  was not the same thing when I slept, as I appeared to be at other
  times; that his vale assured him, some part of me was white, some
  yellow, at least not so white, and some brown."
  I had hitherto concealed the secret of my dress, in order to
  distinguish myself, as much as possible, from that cursed race of
  YAHOOS; but now I found it in vain to do so any longer. Besides,
  I considered that my clothes and shoes would soon wear out,
  which already were in a declining condition, and must be supplied
  by some contrivance from the hides of YAHOOS, or other brutes;.
  whereby the whole secret would be known. I therefore told my
  master, "that in the country whence I came, those of my kind
  always covered their bodies with the hairs of certain animals
  prepared by art, as well for decency as to avoid the inclemencies
  of air, both hot and cold; of which, as to my own person, I would
  give him immediate conviction, if he pleased to command me:
  only desiring his excuse, if I did not expose those parts that nature
  taught us to conceal." He said, "my discourse was all very strange,
  but especially the last part; for he could not understand, why
  nature should teach us to conceal what nature had given; that
  neither himself nor family were ashamed of any parts of their
  bodies; but, however, I might do as I pleased." Whereupon I first
  unbuttoned my coat, and pulled it off. I did the same with my
  waistcoat. I drew off my shoes, stockings, and breeches. I let my
  shirt down to my waist, and drew up the bottom; fastening it like a
  girdle about my middle, to hide my nakedness.
  My master observed the whole performance with great signs of
  curiosity and admiration. He took up all my clothes in his pastern,
  one piece after another, and examined them diligently; he then
  stroked my body very gently, and looked round me several times;
  after which, he said, it was plain I must be a perfect YAHOO; but
  that I differed very much from the rest of my species in the
  softness, whiteness, and smoothness of my skin; my want of hair
  in several parts of my body; the shape and shortness of my claws
  behind and before; and my affectation of walking continually on
  my two hinder feet. He desired to see no more; and gave me leave
  to put on my clothes again, for I was shuddering with cold..
  I expressed my uneasiness at his giving me so often the
  appellation of YAHOO, an odious animal, for which I had so utter
  a hatred and contempt: I begged he would forbear applying that
  word to me, and make the same order in his family and among his
  friends whom he suffered to see me. I requested likewise, "that the
  secret of my having a false covering to my body, might be known
  to none but himself, at least as long as my present clothing should
  last; for as to what the sorrel nag, his valet, had observed, his
  honour might command him to conceal it."
  All this my master very graciously consented to; and thus the
  secret was kept till my clothes began to wear out, which I was
  forced to supply by several contrivances that shall hereafter be
  mentioned. In the meantime, he desired "I would go on with my
  utmost diligence to learn their language, because he was more
  astonished at my capacity for speech and reason, than at the figure
  of my body, whether it were covered or not;" adding, "that he
  waited with some impatience to hear the wonders which I
  promised to tell him."
  Thenceforward he doubled the pains he had been at to instruct me:
  he brought me into all company, and made them treat me with
  civility; "because," as he told them, privately, "this would put me
  into good humour, and make me more diverting."
  Every day, when I waited on him, beside the trouble he was at in
  teaching, he would ask me several questions concerning myself,
  which I answered as well as I could, and by these means he had
  already received some general ideas, though very imperfect. It.
  would be tedious to relate the several steps by which I advanced
  to a more regular conversation; but the first account I gave of
  myself in any order and length was to this purpose:
  "That I came from a very far country, as I already had attempted to
  tell him, with about fifty more of my own species; that we
  travelled upon the seas in a great hollow vessel made of wood,
  and larger than his honour's house. I described the ship to him in
  the best terms I could, and explained, by the help of my
  handkerchief displayed, how it was driven forward by the wind.
  That upon a quarrel among us, I was set on shore on this coast,
  where I walked forward, without knowing whither, till he
  delivered me from the persecution of those execrable YAHOOS."
  He asked me, "who made the ship, and how it was possible that
  the HOUYHNHNMS of my country would leave it to the
  management of brutes?" My answer was, "that I durst proceed no
  further in my relation, unless he would give me his word and
  honour that he would not be offended, and then I would tell him
  the wonders I had so often promised." He agreed; and I went on
  by assuring him, that the ship was made by creatures like myself;
  who, in all the countries I had travelled, as well as in my own,
  were the only governing rational animals; and that upon my
  arrival hither, I was as much astonished to see the
  HOUYHNHNMS act like rational beings, as he, or his friends,
  could be, in finding some marks of reason in a creature he was
  pleased to call a YAHOO; to which I owned my resemblance in
  every part, but could not account for their degenerate and brutal
  nature. I said farther, "that if good fortune ever restored me to my
  native country, to relate my travels hither, as I resolved to do,.
  everybody would believe, that I said the thing that was not, that I
  invented the story out of my own head; and (with all possible
  respect to himself, his family, and friends, and under his promise
  of not being offended) our countrymen would hardly think it
  probable that a HOUYHNHNM should be the presiding creature
  of a nation, and a YAHOO the brute.".
  
  
CHAPTER IV.
  
  [The Houyhnhnm's notion of truth and falsehood. The author's
  discourse disapproved by his master. The author gives a more
  particular account of himself, and the accidents of his voyage.]
  My master heard me with great appearances of uneasiness in his
  countenance; because doubting, or not believing, are so little
  known in this country, that the inhabitants cannot tell how to
  behave themselves under such circumstances. And I remember, in
  frequent discourses with my master concerning the nature of
  manhood in other parts of the world, having occasion to talk of
  lying and false representation, it was with much difficulty that he
  comprehended what I meant, although he had otherwise a most
  acute judgment. For he argued thus: "that the use of speech was to
  make us understand one another, and to receive information of
  facts; now, if any one said the thing which was not, these ends
  were defeated, because I cannot properly be said to understand
  him; and I am so far from receiving information, that he leaves me
  worse than in ignorance; for I am led to believe a thing black,
  when it is white, and short, when it is long." And these were all
  the notions he had concerning that faculty of lying, so perfectly
  well understood, and so universally practised, among human
  creatures..
  To return from this digression. When I asserted that the YAHOOS
  were the only governing animals in my country, which my master
  said was altogether past his conception, he desired to know,
  "whether we had HOUYHNHNMS among us, and what was their
  employment?" I told him, "we had great numbers; that in summer
  they grazed in the fields, and in winter were kept in houses with
  hay and oats, where YAHOO servants were employed to rub their
  skins smooth, comb their manes, pick their feet, serve them with
  food, and make their beds." "I understand you well," said my
  master: "it is now very plain, from all you have spoken, that
  whatever share of reason the YAHOOS pretend to, the
  HOUYHNHNMS are your masters; I heartily wish our YAHOOS
  would be so tractable." I begged "his honour would please to
  excuse me from proceeding any further, because I was very
  certain that the account he expected from me would be highly
  displeasing." But he insisted in commanding me to let him know
  the best and the worst.
  I told him "he should be obeyed." I owned "that the
  HOUYHNHNMS among us, whom we called horses, were the
  most generous and comely animals we had; that they excelled in
  strength and swiftness; and when they belonged to persons of
  quality, were employed in travelling, racing, or drawing chariots;
  they were treated with much kindness and care, till they fell into
  diseases, or became foundered in the feet; but then they were sold,
  and used to all kind of drudgery till they died; after which their
  skins were stripped, and sold for what they were worth, and their
  bodies left to be devoured by dogs and birds of prey. But the
  common race of horses had not so good fortune, being kept by.
  farmers and carriers, and other mean people, who put them to
  greater labour, and fed them worse." I described, as well as I
  could, our way of riding; the shape and use of a bridle, a saddle, a
  spur, and a whip; of harness and wheels. I added, "that we
  fastened plates of a certain hard substance, called iron, at the
  bottom of their feet, to preserve their hoofs from being broken by
  the stony ways, on which we often travelled."
  My master, after some expressions of great indignation, wondered
  "how we dared to venture upon a HOUYHNHNM'S back; for he
  was sure, that the weakest servant in his house would be able to
  shake off the strongest YAHOO; or by lying down and rolling on
  his back, squeeze the brute to death." I answered "that our horses
  were trained up, from three or four years old, to the several uses
  we intended them for; that if any of them proved intolerably
  vicious, they were employed for carriages; that they were severely
  beaten, while they were young, for any mischievous tricks; that
  the males, designed for the common use of riding or draught, were
  generally castrated about two years after their birth, to take down
  their spirits, and make them more tame and gentle; that they were
  indeed sensible of rewards and punishments; but his honour
  would please to consider, that they had not the least tincture of
  reason, any more than the YAHOOS in this country."
  It put me to the pains of many circumlocutions, to give my master
  a right idea of what I spoke; for their language does not abound in
  variety of words, because their wants and passions are fewer than
  among us. But it is impossible to express his noble resentment at
  our savage treatment of the HOUYHNHNM race; particularly.
  after I had explained the manner and use of castrating horses
  among us, to hinder them from propagating their kind, and to
  render them more servile. He said, "if it were possible there could
  be any country where YAHOOS alone were endued with reason,
  they certainly must be the governing animal; because reason in
  time will always prevail against brutal strength. But, considering
  the frame of our bodies, and especially of mine, he thought no
  creature of equal bulk was so ill-contrived for employing that
  reason in the common offices of life;" whereupon he desired to
  know whether those among whom I lived resembled me, or the
  YAHOOS of his country?" I assured him, "that I was as well
  shaped as most of my age; but the younger, and the females, were
  much more soft and tender, and the skins of the latter generally as
  white as milk." He said, "I differed indeed from other YAHOOS,
  being much more cleanly, and not altogether so deformed; but, in
  point of real advantage, he thought I differed for the worse: that
  my nails were of no use either to my fore or hinder feet; as to my
  fore feet, he could not properly call them by that name, for he
  never observed me to walk upon them; that they were too soft to
  bear the ground; that I generally went with them uncovered;
  neither was the covering I sometimes wore on them of the same
  shape, or so strong as that on my feet behind: that I could not walk
  with any security, for if either of my hinder feet slipped, I must
  inevitably fail." He then began to find fault with other parts of my
  body: "the flatness of my face, the prominence of my nose, mine
  eyes placed directly in front, so that I could not look on either side
  without turning my head: that I was not able to feed myself,
  without lifting one of my fore-feet to my mouth: and therefore
  nature had placed those joints to answer that necessity. He knew.
  not what could be the use of those several clefts and divisions in
  my feet behind; that these were too soft to bear the hardness and
  sharpness of stones, without a covering made from the skin of
  some other brute; that my whole body wanted a fence against heat
  and cold, which I was forced to put on and off every day, with
  tediousness and trouble: and lastly, that he observed every animal
  in this country naturally to abhor the YAHOOS, whom the weaker
  avoided, and the stronger drove from them. So that, supposing us
  to have the gift of reason, he could not see how it were possible to
  cure that natural antipathy, which every creature discovered
  against us; nor consequently how we could tame and render them
  serviceable. However, he would," as he said, "debate the matter
  no farther, because he was more desirous to know my own story,
  the country where I was born, and the several actions and events
  of my life, before I came hither."
  I assured him, "how extremely desirous I was that he should be
  satisfied on every point; but I doubted much, whether it would be
  possible for me to explain myself on several subjects, whereof his
  honour could have no conception; because I saw nothing in his
  country to which I could resemble them; that, however, I would
  do my best, and strive to express myself by similitudes, humbly
  desiring his assistance when I wanted proper words;" which he
  was pleased to promise me.
  I said, "my birth was of honest parents, in an island called
  England; which was remote from his country, as many days'
  journey as the strongest of his honour's servants could travel in the
  annual course of the sun; that I was bred a surgeon, whose trade it.
  is to cure wounds and hurts in the body, gotten by accident or
  violence; that my country was governed by a female man, whom
  we called queen; that I left it to get riches, whereby I might
  maintain myself and family, when I should return; that, in my last
  voyage, I was commander of the ship, and had about fifty
  YAHOOS under me, many of which died at sea, and I was forced
  to supply them by others picked out from several nations; that our
  ship was twice in danger of being sunk, the first time by a great
  storm, and the second by striking against a rock." Here my master
  interposed, by asking me, "how I could persuade strangers, out of
  different countries, to venture with me, after the losses I had
  sustained, and the hazards I had run?" I said, "they were fellows of
  desperate fortunes, forced to fly from the places of their birth on
  account of their poverty or their crimes. Some were undone by
  lawsuits; others spent all they had in drinking, whoring, and
  gaming; others fled for treason; many for murder, theft, poisoning,
  robbery, perjury, forgery, coining false money, for committing
  rapes, or sodomy; for flying from their colours, or deserting to the
  enemy; and most of them had broken prison; none of these durst
  return to their native countries, for fear of being hanged, or of
  starving in a jail; and therefore they were under the necessity of
  seeking a livelihood in other places."
  During this discourse, my master was pleased to interrupt me
  several times. I had made use of many circumlocutions in
  describing to him the nature of the several crimes for which most
  of our crew had been forced to fly their country. This labour took
  up several days' conversation, before he was able to comprehend
  me. He was wholly at a loss to know what could be the use or.
  necessity of practising those vices. To clear up which, I
  endeavoured to give some ideas of the desire of power and riches;
  of the terrible effects of lust, intemperance, malice, and envy. All
  this I was forced to define and describe by putting cases and
  making suppositions. After which, like one whose imagination
  was struck with something never seen or heard of before, he
  would lift up his eyes with amazement and indignation. Power,
  government, war, law, punishment, and a thousand other things,
  had no terms wherein that language could express them, which
  made the difficulty almost insuperable, to give my master any
  conception of what I meant. But being of an excellent
  understanding, much improved by contemplation and converse,
  he at last arrived at a competent knowledge of what human nature,
  in our parts of the world, is capable to perform, and desired I
  would give him some particular account of that land which we
  call Europe, but especially of my own country..
  
  
CHAPTER V.
  
  [The author at his master's command, informs him of the state of
  England. The causes of war among the princes of Europe. The
  author begins to explain the English constitution.]
  The reader may please to observe, that the following extract of
  many conversations I had with my master, contains a summary of
  the most material points which were discoursed at several times
  for above two years; his honour often desiring fuller satisfaction,
  as I farther improved in the HOUYHNHNM tongue. I laid before
  him, as well as I could, the whole state of Europe; I discoursed of
  trade and manufactures, of arts and sciences; and the answers I
  gave to all the questions he made, as they arose upon several
  subjects, were a fund of conversation not to be exhausted. But I
  shall here only set down the substance of what passed between us
  concerning my own country, reducing it in order as well as I can,
  without any regard to time or other circumstances, while I strictly
  adhere to truth. My only concern is, that I shall hardly be able to
  do justice to my master's arguments and expressions, which must
  needs suffer by my want of capacity, as well as by a translation
  into our barbarous English..
  In obedience, therefore, to his honour's commands, I related to
  him the Revolution under the Prince of Orange; the long war with
  France, entered into by the said prince, and renewed by his
  successor, the present queen, wherein the greatest powers of
  Christendom were engaged, and which still continued: I
  computed, at his request, "that about a million of YAHOOS might
  have been killed in the whole progress of it; and perhaps a
  hundred or more cities taken, and five times as many ships burnt
  or sunk."
  He asked me, "what were the usual causes or motives that made
  one country go to war with another?" I answered "they were
  innumerable; but I should only mention a few of the chief.
  Sometimes the ambition of princes, who never think they have
  land or people enough to govern; sometimes the corruption of
  ministers, who engage their master in a war, in order to stifle or
  divert the clamour of the subjects against their evil administration.
  Difference in opinions has cost many millions of lives: for
  instance, whether flesh be bread, or bread be flesh; whether the
  juice of a certain berry be blood or wine; whether whistling be a
  vice or a virtue; whether it be better to kiss a post, or throw it into
  the fire; what is the best colour for a coat, whether black, white,
  red, or gray; and whether it should be long or short, narrow or
  wide, dirty or clean; with many more.
  Neither are any wars so furious and bloody, or of so long a
  continuance, as those occasioned by difference in opinion,
  especially if it be in things indifferent..
  "Sometimes the quarrel between two princes is to decide which of
  them shall dispossess a third of his dominions, where neither of
  them pretend to any right. Sometimes one prince quarrels with
  another for fear the other should quarrel with him. Sometimes a
  war is entered upon, because the enemy is too strong; and
  sometimes, because he is too weak. Sometimes our neighbours
  want the things which we have, or have the things which we want,
  and we both fight, till they take ours, or give us theirs. It is a very
  justifiable cause of a war, to invade a country after the people
  have been wasted by famine, destroyed by pestilence, or
  embroiled by factions among themselves. It is justifiable to enter
  into war against our nearest ally, when one of his towns lies
  convenient for us, or a territory of land, that would render our
  dominions round and complete. If a prince sends forces into a
  nation, where the people are poor and ignorant, he may lawfully
  put half of them to death, and make slaves of the rest, in order to
  civilize and reduce them from their barbarous way of living. It is
  a very kingly, honourable, and frequent practice, when one prince
  desires the assistance of another, to secure him against an
  invasion, that the assistant, when he has driven out the invader,
  should seize on the dominions himself, and kill, imprison, or
  banish, the prince he came to relieve. Alliance by blood, or
  marriage, is a frequent cause of war between princes; and the
  nearer the kindred is, the greater their disposition to quarrel; poor
  nations are hungry, and rich nations are proud; and pride and
  hunger will ever be at variance. For these reasons, the trade of a
  soldier is held the most honourable of all others; because a soldier
  is a YAHOO hired to kill, in cold blood, as many of his own
  species, who have never offended him, as possibly he can..
  "There is likewise a kind of beggarly princes in Europe, not able
  to make war by themselves, who hire out their troops to richer
  nations, for so much a day to each man; of which they keep three-fourths
  to themselves, and it is the best part of their maintenance:
  such are those in many northern parts of Europe."
  "What you have told me," said my master, "upon the subject of
  war, does indeed discover most admirably the effects of that
  reason you pretend to: however, it is happy that the shame is
  greater than the danger; and that nature has left you utterly
  incapable of doing much mischief. For, your mouths lying flat
  with your faces, you can hardly bite each other to any purpose,
  unless by consent. Then as to the claws upon your feet before and
  behind, they are so short and tender, that one of our YAHOOS
  would drive a dozen of yours before him. And therefore, in
  recounting the numbers of those who have been killed in battle, I
  cannot but think you have said the thing which is not."
  I could not forbear shaking my head, and smiling a little at his
  ignorance. And being no stranger to the art of war, I gave him a
  description of cannons, culverins, muskets, carabines, pistols,
  bullets, powder, swords, bayonets, battles, sieges, retreats, attacks,
  undermines, countermines, bombardments, sea fights, ships sunk
  with a thousand men, twenty thousand killed on each side, dying
  groans, limbs flying in the air, smoke, noise, confusion, trampling
  to death under horses' feet, flight, pursuit, victory; fields strewed
  with carcases, left for food to dogs and wolves and birds of prey;
  plundering, stripping, ravishing, burning, and destroying. And to.
  set forth the valour of my own dear countrymen, I assured him,
  "that I had seen them blow up a hundred enemies at once in a
  siege, and as many in a ship, and beheld the dead bodies drop
  down in pieces from the clouds, to the great diversion of the
  spectators."
  I was going on to more particulars, when my master commanded
  me silence. He said, "whoever understood the nature of
  YAHOOS, might easily believe it possible for so vile an animal to
  be capable of every action I had named, if their strength and
  cunning equalled their malice. But as my discourse had increased
  his abhorrence of the whole species, so he found it gave him a
  disturbance in his mind to which he was wholly a stranger before.
  He thought his ears, being used to such abominable words, might,
  by degrees, admit them with less detestation: that although he
  hated the YAHOOS of this country, yet he no more blamed them
  for their odious qualities, than he did a GNNAYH (a bird of prey)
  for its cruelty, or a sharp stone for cutting his hoof. But when a
  creature pretending to reason could be capable of such enormities,
  he dreaded lest the corruption of that faculty might be worse than
  brutality itself. He seemed therefore confident, that, instead of
  reason we were only possessed of some quality fitted to increase
  our natural vices; as the reflection from a troubled stream returns
  the image of an ill shapen body, not only larger but more
  distorted.".
  He added, "that he had heard too much upon the subject of war,
  both in this and some former discourses. There was another point,
  which a little perplexed him at present. I had informed him, that
  some of our crew left their country on account of being ruined by
  law; that I had already explained the meaning of the word; but he
  was at a loss how it should come to pass, that the law, which was
  intended for every man's preservation, should be any man's ruin.
  Therefore he desired to be further satisfied what I meant by law,
  and the dispensers thereof, according to the present practice in my
  own country; because he thought nature and reason were
  sufficient guides for a reasonable animal, as we pretended to be, in
  showing us what he ought to do, and what to avoid."
  I assured his honour, "that the law was a science in which I had
  not much conversed, further than by employing advocates, in
  vain, upon some injustices that had been done me: however, I
  would give him all the satisfaction I was able."
  I said, "there was a society of men among us, bred up from their
  youth in the art of proving, by words multiplied for the purpose,
  that white is black, and black is white, according as they are paid.
  To this society all the rest of the people are slaves. For example,
  if my neighbour has a mind to my cow, he has a lawyer to prove
  that he ought to have my cow from me. I must then hire another to
  defend my right, it being against all rules of law that any man
  should be allowed to speak for himself. Now, in this case, I, who
  am the right owner, lie under two great disadvantages: first, my
  lawyer, being practised almost from his cradle in defending
  falsehood, is quite out of his element when he would be an.
  advocate for justice, which is an unnatural office he always
  attempts with great awkwardness, if not with ill-will. The second
  disadvantage is, that my lawyer must proceed with great caution,
  or else he will be reprimanded by the judges, and abhorred by his
  brethren, as one that would lessen the practice of the law. And
  therefore I have but two methods to preserve my cow. The first is,
  to gain over my adversary's lawyer with a double fee, who will
  then betray his client by insinuating that he hath justice on his
  side. The second way is for my lawyer to make my cause appear
  as unjust as he can, by allowing the cow to belong to my
  adversary: and this, if it be skilfully done, will certainly bespeak
  the favour of the bench. Now your honour is to know, that these
  judges are persons appointed to decide all controversies of
  property, as well as for the trial of criminals, and picked out from
  the most dexterous lawyers, who are grown old or lazy; and
  having been biassed all their lives against truth and equity, lie
  under such a fatal necessity of favouring fraud, perjury, and
  oppression, that I have known some of them refuse a large bribe
  from the side where justice lay, rather than injure the faculty, by
  doing any thing unbecoming their nature or their office.
  "It is a maxim among these lawyers that whatever has been done
  before, may legally be done again: and therefore they take special
  care to record all the decisions formerly made against common
  justice, and the general reason of mankind. These, under the name
  of precedents, they produce as authorities to justify the most
  iniquitous opinions; and the judges never fail of directing
  accordingly..
  "In pleading, they studiously avoid entering into the merits of the
  cause; but are loud, violent, and tedious, in dwelling upon all
  circumstances which are not to the purpose. For instance, in the
  case already mentioned; they never desire to know what claim or
  title my adversary has to my cow; but whether the said cow were
  red or black; her horns long or short; whether the field I graze her
  in be round or square; whether she was milked at home or abroad;
  what diseases she is subject to, and the like; after which they
  consult precedents, adjourn the cause from time to time, and in
  ten, twenty, or thirty years, come to an issue.
  "It is likewise to be observed, that this society has a peculiar cant
  and jargon of their own, that no other mortal can understand, and
  wherein all their laws are written, which they take special care to
  multiply; whereby they have wholly confounded the very essence
  of truth and falsehood, of right and wrong; so that it will take
  thirty years to decide, whether the field left me by my ancestors
  for six generations belongs to me, or to a stranger three hundred
  miles off.
  "In the trial of persons accused for crimes against the state, the
  method is much more short and commendable: the judge first
  sends to sound the disposition of those in power, after which he
  can easily hang or save a criminal, strictly preserving all due
  forms of law."
  Here my master interposing, said, "it was a pity, that creatures
  endowed with such prodigious abilities of mind, as these lawyers,
  by the description I gave of them, must certainly be, were not.
  rather encouraged to be instructors of others in wisdom and
  knowledge." In answer to which I assured his honour, "that in all
  points out of their own trade, they were usually the most ignorant
  and stupid generation among us, the most despicable in common
  conversation, avowed enemies to all knowledge and learning, and
  equally disposed to pervert the general reason of mankind in
  every other subject of discourse as in that of their own
  profession.".
  
  
CHAPTER VI.
  
  [A continuation of the state of England under Queen Anne. The
  character of a first minister of state in European courts.]
  My master was yet wholly at a loss to understand what motives
  could incite this race of lawyers to perplex, disquiet, and weary
  themselves, and engage in a confederacy of injustice, merely for
  the sake of injuring their fellow-animals; neither could he
  comprehend what I meant in saying, they did it for hire.
  Whereupon I was at much pains to describe to him the use of
  money, the materials it was made of, and the value of the metals;
  "that when a YAHOO had got a great store of this precious
  substance, he was able to purchase whatever he had a mind to; the
  finest clothing, the noblest houses, great tracts of land, the most
  costly meats and drinks, and have his choice of the most beautiful
  females. Therefore since money alone was able to perform all
  these feats, our YAHOOS thought they could never have enough
  of it to spend, or to save, as they found themselves inclined, from
  their natural bent either to profusion or avarice; that the rich man
  enjoyed the fruit of the poor man's labour, and the latter were a
  thousand to one in proportion to the former; that the bulk of our
  people were forced to live miserably, by labouring every day for
  small wages, to make a few live plentifully.".
  I enlarged myself much on these, and many other particulars to
  the same purpose; but his honour was still to seek; for he went
  upon a supposition, that all animals had a title to their share in the
  productions of the earth, and especially those who presided over
  the rest. Therefore he desired I would let him know, "what these
  costly meats were, and how any of us happened to want them?"
  Whereupon I enumerated as many sorts as came into my head,
  with the various methods of dressing them, which could not be
  done without sending vessels by sea to every part of the world, as
  well for liquors to drink as for sauces and innumerable other
  conveniences. I assured him "that this whole globe of earth must
  be at least three times gone round before one of our better female
  YAHOOS could get her breakfast, or a cup to put it in." He said
  "that must needs be a miserable country which cannot furnish
  food for its own inhabitants. But what he chiefly wondered at was,
  how such vast tracts of ground as I described should be wholly
  without fresh water, and the people put to the necessity of sending
  over the sea for drink." I replied "that England (the dear place of
  my nativity) was computed to produce three times the quantity of
  food more than its inhabitants are able to consume, as well as
  liquors extracted from grain, or pressed out of the fruit of certain
  trees, which made excellent drink, and the same proportion in
  every other convenience of life. But, in order to feed the luxury
  and intemperance of the males, and the vanity of the females, we
  sent away the greatest part of our necessary things to other
  countries, whence, in return, we brought the materials of diseases,
  folly, and vice, to spend among ourselves. Hence it follows of
  necessity, that vast numbers of our people are compelled to seek.
  their livelihood by begging, robbing, stealing, cheating, pimping,
  flattering, suborning, forswearing, forging, gaming, lying,
  fawning, hectoring, voting, scribbling, star-gazing, poisoning,
  whoring, canting, libelling, freethinking, and the like
  occupations:" every one of which terms I was at much pains to
  make him understand.
  "That wine was not imported among us from foreign countries to
  supply the want of water or other drinks, but because it was a sort
  of liquid which made us merry by putting us out of our senses,
  diverted all melancholy thoughts, begat wild extravagant
  imaginations in the brain, raised our hopes and banished our fears,
  suspended every office of reason for a time, and deprived us of the
  use of our limbs, till we fell into a profound sleep; although it
  must be confessed, that we always awaked sick and dispirited; and
  that the use of this liquor filled us with diseases which made our
  lives uncomfortable and short.
  "But beside all this, the bulk of our people supported themselves
  by furnishing the necessities or conveniences of life to the rich
  and to each other. For instance, when I am at home, and dressed as
  I ought to be, I carry on my body the workmanship of a hundred
  tradesmen; the building and furniture of my house employ as
  many more, and five times the number to adorn my wife."
  I was going on to tell him of another sort of people, who get their
  livelihood by attending the sick, having, upon some occasions,
  informed his honour that many of my crew had died of diseases.
  But here it was with the utmost difficulty that I brought him to.
  apprehend what I meant. "He could easily conceive, that a
  HOUYHNHNM, grew weak and heavy a few days before his
  death, or by some accident might hurt a limb; but that nature, who
  works all things to perfection, should suffer any pains to breed in
  our bodies, he thought impossible, and desired to know the reason
  of so unaccountable an evil."
  I told him "we fed on a thousand things which operated contrary
  to each other; that we ate when we were not hungry, and drank
  without the provocation of thirst; that we sat whole nights
  drinking strong liquors, without eating a bit, which disposed us to
  sloth, inflamed our bodies, and precipitated or prevented
  digestion; that prostitute female YAHOOS acquired a certain
  malady, which bred rottenness in the bones of those who fell into
  their embraces; that this, and many other diseases, were
  propagated from father to son; so that great numbers came into the
  world with complicated maladies upon them; that it would be
  endless to give him a catalogue of all diseases incident to human
  bodies, for they would not be fewer than five or six hundred,
  spread over every limb and joint -in short, every part, external and
  intestine, having diseases appropriated to itself. To remedy which,
  there was a sort of people bred up among us in the profession, or
  pretence, of curing the sick. And because I had some skill in the
  faculty, I would, in gratitude to his honour, let him know the
  whole mystery and method by which they proceed.
  "Their fundamental is, that all diseases arise from repletion;
  whence they conclude, that a great evacuation of the body is
  necessary, either through the natural passage or upwards at the.
  mouth. Their next business is from herbs, minerals, gums, oils,
  shells, salts, juices, seaweed, excrements, barks of trees, serpents,
  toads, frogs, spiders, dead men's flesh and bones, birds, beasts,
  and fishes, to form a composition, for smell and taste, the most
  abominable, nauseous, and detestable, they can possibly contrive,
  which the stomach immediately rejects with loathing, and this
  they call a vomit; or else, from the same store-house, with some
  other poisonous additions, they command us to take in at the
  orifice above or below (just as the physician then happens to be
  disposed) a medicine equally annoying and disgustful to the
  bowels; which, relaxing the belly, drives down all before it; and
  this they call a purge, or a clyster. For nature (as the physicians
  allege) having intended the superior anterior orifice only for the
  intromission of solids and liquids, and the inferior posterior for
  ejection, these artists ingeniously considering that in all diseases
  nature is forced out of her seat, therefore, to replace her in it, the
  body must be treated in a manner directly contrary, by
  interchanging the use of each orifice; forcing solids and liquids in
  at the anus, and making evacuations at the mouth.
  "But, besides real diseases, we are subject to many that are only
  imaginary, for which the physicians have invented imaginary
  cures; these have their several names, and so have the drugs that
  are proper for them; and with these our female YAHOOS are
  always infested.
  "One great excellency in this tribe, is their skill at prognostics,
  wherein they seldom fail; their predictions in real diseases, when
  they rise to any degree of malignity, generally portending death,.
  which is always in their power, when recovery is not: and
  therefore, upon any unexpected signs of amendment, after they
  have pronounced their sentence, rather than be accused as false
  prophets, they know how to approve their sagacity to the world,
  by a seasonable dose.
  "They are likewise of special use to husbands and wives who are
  grown weary of their mates; to eldest sons, to great ministers of
  state, and often to princes."
  I had formerly, upon occasion, discoursed with my master upon
  the nature of government in general, and particularly of our own
  excellent constitution, deservedly the wonder and envy of the
  whole world. But having here accidentally mentioned a minister
  of state, he commanded me, some time after, to inform him, "what
  species of YAHOO I particularly meant by that appellation."
  I told him, "that a first or chief minister of state, who was the
  person I intended to describe, was the creature wholly exempt
  from joy and grief, love and hatred, pity and anger; at least, makes
  use of no other passions, but a violent desire of wealth, power, and
  titles; that he applies his words to all uses, except to the indication
  of his mind; that he never tells a truth but with an intent that you
  should take it for a lie; nor a lie, but with a design that you should
  take it for a truth; that those he speaks worst of behind their backs
  are in the surest way of preferment; and whenever he begins to
  praise you to others, or to yourself, you are from that day forlorn..
  The worst mark you can receive is a promise, especially when it is
  confirmed with an oath; after which, every wise man retires, and
  gives over all hopes.
  "There are three methods, by which a man may rise to be chief
  minister. The first is, by knowing how, with prudence, to dispose
  of a wife, a daughter, or a sister; the second, by betraying or
  undermining his predecessor; and the third is, by a furious zeal, in
  public assemblies, against the corruption's of the court. But a wise
  prince would rather choose to employ those who practise the last
  of these methods; because such zealots prove always the most
  obsequious and subservient to the will and passions of their
  master. That these ministers, having all employments at their
  disposal, preserve themselves in power, by bribing the majority of
  a senate or great council; and at last, by an expedient, called an act
  of indemnity" (whereof I described the nature to him), "they
  secure themselves from after-reckonings, and retire from the
  public laden with the spoils of the nation.
  "The palace of a chief minister is a seminary to breed up others in
  his own trade: the pages, lackeys, and porters, by imitating their
  master, become ministers of state in their several districts, and
  learn to excel in the three principal ingredients, of insolence,
  lying, and bribery. Accordingly, they have a subaltern court paid
  to them by persons of the best rank; and sometimes by the force of
  dexterity and impudence, arrive, through several gradations, to be
  successors to their lord..
  "He is usually governed by a decayed wench, or favourite
  footman, who are the tunnels through which all graces are
  conveyed, and may properly be called, in the last resort, the
  governors of the kingdom."
  One day, in discourse, my master, having heard me mention the
  nobility of my country, was pleased to make me a compliment
  which I could not pretend to deserve: "that he was sure I must
  have been born of some noble family, because I far exceeded in
  shape, colour, and cleanliness, all the YAHOOS of his nation,
  although I seemed to fail in strength and agility, which must be
  imputed to my different way of living from those other brutes; and
  besides I was not only endowed with the faculty of speech, but
  likewise with some rudiments of reason, to a degree that, with all
  his acquaintance, I passed for a prodigy."
  He made me observe, "that among the HOUYHNHNMS, the
  white, the sorrel, and the iron-gray, were not so exactly shaped as
  the bay, the dapple-gray, and the black; nor born with equal talents
  of mind, or a capacity to improve them; and therefore continued
  always in the condition of servants, without ever aspiring to match
  out of their own race, which in that country would be reckoned
  monstrous and unnatural."
  I made his honour my most humble acknowledgments for the
  good opinion he was pleased to conceive of me, but assured him
  at the same time, "that my birth was of the lower sort, having been
  born of plain honest parents, who were just able to give me a
  tolerable education; that nobility, among us, was altogether a.
  different thing from the idea he had of it; that our young noblemen
  are bred from their childhood in idleness and luxury; that, as soon
  as years will permit, they consume their vigour, and contract
  odious diseases among lewd females; and when their fortunes are
  almost ruined, they marry some woman of mean birth,
  disagreeable person, and unsound constitution (merely for the
  sake of money), whom they hate and despise. That the
  productions of such marriages are generally scrofulous, rickety, or
  deformed children; by which means the family seldom continues
  above three generations, unless the wife takes care to provide a
  healthy father, among her neighbours or domestics, in order to
  improve and continue the breed. That a weak diseased body, a
  meagre countenance, and sallow complexion, are the true marks
  of noble blood; and a healthy robust appearance is so disgraceful
  in a man of quality, that the world concludes his real father to have
  been a groom or a coachman. The imperfections of his mind run
  parallel with those of his body, being a composition of spleen,
  dullness, ignorance, caprice, sensuality, and pride.
  "Without the consent of this illustrious body, no law can be
  enacted, repealed, or altered: and these nobles have likewise the
  decision of all our possessions, without appeal." (6).
  
  
CHAPTER VII.
  
  [The author's great love of his native country. His master's
  observations upon the constitution and administration of England,
  as described by the author, with parallel cases and comparisons.
  His master's observations upon human nature.]
  The reader may be disposed to wonder how I could prevail on
  myself to give so free a representation of my own species, among
  a race of mortals who are already too apt to conceive the vilest
  opinion of humankind, from that entire congruity between me and
  their YAHOOS. But I must freely confess, that the many virtues
  of those excellent quadrupeds, placed in opposite view to human
  corruptions, had so far opened my eyes and enlarged my
  understanding, that I began to view the actions and passions of
  man in a very different light, and to think the honour of my own
  kind not worth managing; which, besides, it was impossible for
  me to do, before a person of so acute a judgment as my master,
  who daily convinced me of a thousand faults in myself, whereof I
  had not the least perception before, and which, with us, would
  never be numbered even among human infirmities. I had likewise
  learned, from his example, an utter detestation of all falsehood or
  disguise; and truth appeared so amiable to me, that I determined
  upon sacrificing every thing to it..
  Let me deal so candidly with the reader as to confess that there
  was yet a much stronger motive for the freedom I took in my
  representation of things. I had not yet been a year in this country
  before I contracted such a love and veneration for the inhabitants,
  that I entered on a firm resolution never to return to humankind,
  but to pass the rest of my life among these admirable
  HOUYHNHNMS, in the contemplation and practice of every
  virtue, where I could have no example or incitement to vice. But it
  was decreed by fortune, my perpetual enemy, that so great a
  felicity should not fall to my share. However, it is now some
  comfort to reflect, that in what I said of my countrymen, I
  extenuated their faults as much as I durst before so strict an
  examiner; and upon every article gave as favourable a turn as the
  matter would bear. For, indeed, who is there alive that will not be
  swayed by his bias and partiality to the place of his birth?
  I have related the substance of several conversations I had with
  my master during the greatest part of the time I had the honour to
  be in his service; but have, indeed, for brevity sake, omitted much
  more than is here set down.
  When I had answered all his questions, and his curiosity seemed
  to be fully satisfied, he sent for me one morning early, and
  commanded me to sit down at some distance (an honour which he
  had never before conferred upon me). He said, "he had been very
  seriously considering my whole story, as far as it related both to
  myself and my country; that he looked upon us as a sort of
  animals, to whose share, by what accident he could not
  conjecture, some small pittance of reason had fallen, whereof we.
  made no other use, than by its assistance, to aggravate our natural
  corruptions, and to acquire new ones, which nature had not given
  us; that we disarmed ourselves of the few abilities she had
  bestowed; had been very successful in multiplying our original
  wants, and seemed to spend our whole lives in vain endeavours to
  supply them by our own inventions; that, as to myself, it was
  manifest I had neither the strength nor agility of a common
  YAHOO; that I walked infirmly on my hinder feet; had found out
  a contrivance to make my claws of no use or defence, and to
  remove the hair from my chin, which was intended as a shelter
  from the sun and the weather: lastly, that I could neither run with
  speed, nor climb trees like my brethren," as he called them, "the
  YAHOOS in his country.
  "That our institutions of government and law were plainly owing
  to our gross defects in reason, and by consequence in virtue;
  because reason alone is sufficient to govern a rational creature;
  which was, therefore, a character we had no pretence to challenge,
  even from the account I had given of my own people; although he
  manifestly perceived, that, in order to favour them, I had
  concealed many particulars, and often said the thing which was
  not.
  "He was the more confirmed in this opinion, because, he
  observed, that as I agreed in every feature of my body with other
  YAHOOS, except where it was to my real disadvantage in point of
  strength, speed, and activity, the shortness of my claws, and some
  other particulars where nature had no part; so from the
  representation I had given him of our lives, our manners, and our.
  actions, he found as near a resemblance in the disposition of our
  minds." He said, "the YAHOOS were known to hate one another,
  more than they did any different species of animals; and the
  reason usually assigned was, the odiousness of their own shapes,
  which all could see in the rest, but not in themselves. He had
  therefore begun to think it not unwise in us to cover our bodies,
  and by that invention conceal many of our deformities from each
  other, which would else be hardly supportable. But he now found
  he had been mistaken, and that the dissensions of those brutes in
  his country were owing to the same cause with ours, as I had
  described them. For if," said he, "you throw among five
  YAHOOS as much food as would be sufficient for fifty, they will,
  instead of eating peaceably, fall together by the ears, each single
  one impatient to have all to itself; and therefore a servant was
  usually employed to stand by while they were feeding abroad, and
  those kept at home were tied at a distance from each other: that if
  a cow died of age or accident, before a HOUYHNHNM could
  secure it for his own YAHOOS, those in the neighbourhood would
  come in herds to seize it, and then would ensue such a battle as I
  had described, with terrible wounds made by their claws on both
  sides, although they seldom were able to kill one another, for want
  of such convenient instruments of death as we had invented. At
  other times, the like battles have been fought between the
  YAHOOS of several neighbourhoods, without any visible cause;
  those of one district watching all opportunities to surprise the
  next, before they are prepared. But if they find their project has
  miscarried, they return home, and, for want of enemies, engage in
  what I call a civil war among themselves..
  "That in some fields of his country there are certain shining stones
  of several colours, whereof the YAHOOS are violently fond: and
  when part of these stones is fixed in the earth, as it sometimes
  happens, they will dig with their claws for whole days to get them
  out; then carry them away, and hide them by heaps in their
  kennels; but still looking round with great caution, for fear their
  comrades should find out their treasure." My master said, "he
  could never discover the reason of this unnatural appetite, or how
  these stones could be of any use to a YAHOO; but now he
  believed it might proceed from the same principle of avarice
  which I had ascribed to mankind. That he had once, by way of
  experiment, privately removed a heap of these stones from the
  place where one of his YAHOOS had buried it; whereupon the
  sordid animal, missing his treasure, by his loud lamenting brought
  the whole herd to the place, there miserably howled, then fell to
  biting and tearing the rest, began to pine away, would neither eat,
  nor sleep, nor work, till he ordered a servant privately to convey
  the stones into the same hole, and hide them as before; which,
  when his YAHOO had found, he presently recovered his spirits
  and good humour, but took good care to remove them to a better
  hiding place, and has ever since been a very serviceable brute."
  My master further assured me, which I also observed myself, "that
  in the fields where the shining stones abound, the fiercest and
  most frequent battles are fought, occasioned by perpetual inroads
  of the neighbouring YAHOOS.".
  He said, "it was common, when two YAHOOS discovered such a
  stone in a field, and were contending which of them should be the
  proprietor, a third would take the advantage, and carry it away
  from them both;" which my master would needs contend to have
  some kind of resemblance with our suits at law; wherein I thought
  it for our credit not to undeceive him; since the decision he
  mentioned was much more equitable than many decrees among
  us; because the plaintiff and defendant there lost nothing beside
  the stone they contended for: whereas our courts of equity would
  never have dismissed the cause, while either of them had any
  thing left.
  My master, continuing his discourse, said, "there was nothing that
  rendered the YAHOOS more odious, than their undistinguishing
  appetite to devour every thing that came in their way, whether
  herbs, roots, berries, the corrupted flesh of animals, or all mingled
  together: and it was peculiar in their temper, that they were fonder
  of what they could get by rapine or stealth, at a greater distance,
  than much better food provided for them at home. If their prey
  held out, they would eat till they were ready to burst; after which,
  nature had pointed out to them a certain root that gave them a
  general evacuation.
  "There was also another kind of root, very juicy, but somewhat
  rare and difficult to be found, which the YAHOOS sought for with
  much eagerness, and would suck it with great delight; it produced
  in them the same effects that wine has upon us. It would make.
  them sometimes hug, and sometimes tear one another; they would
  howl, and grin, and chatter, and reel, and tumble, and then fall
  asleep in the mud."
  I did indeed observe that the YAHOOS were the only animals in
  this country subject to any diseases; which, however, were much
  fewer than horses have among us, and contracted, not by any ill-treatment
  they meet with, but by the nastiness and greediness of
  that sordid brute. Neither has their language any more than a
  general appellation for those maladies, which is borrowed from
  the name of the beast, and called HNEA-YAHOO, or YAHOO'S
  EVIL; and the cure prescribed is a mixture of their own dung and
  urine, forcibly put down the YAHOO'S throat. This I have since
  often known to have been taken with success, and do here freely
  recommend it to my countrymen for the public good, as an
  admirable specific against all diseases produced by repletion.
  "As to learning, government, arts, manufactures, and the like," my
  master confessed, "he could find little or no resemblance between
  the YAHOOS of that country and those in ours; for he only meant
  to observe what parity there was in our natures. He had heard,
  indeed, some curious HOUYHNHNMS observe, that in most
  herds there was a sort of ruling YAHOO (as among us there is
  generally some leading or principal stag in a park), who was
  always more deformed in body, and mischievous in disposition,
  than any of the rest; that this leader had usually a favourite as like
  himself as he could get, whose employment was to lick his
  master's feet and posteriors, and drive the female YAHOOS to his
  kennel; for which he was now and then rewarded with a piece of.
  ass's flesh. This favourite is hated by the whole herd, and
  therefore, to protect himself, keeps always near the person of his
  leader. He usually continues in office till a worse can be found;
  but the very moment he is discarded, his successor, at the head of
  all the YAHOOS in that district, young and old, male and female,
  come in a body, and discharge their excrements upon him from
  head to foot. But how far this might be applicable to our courts,
  and favourites, and ministers of state, my master said I could best
  determine."
  I durst make no return to this malicious insinuation, which
  debased human understanding below the sagacity of a common
  hound, who has judgment enough to distinguish and follow the
  cry of the ablest dog in the pack, without being ever mistaken.
  My master told me, "there were some qualities remarkable in the
  YAHOOS, which he had not observed me to mention, or at least
  very slightly, in the accounts I had given of humankind." He said,
  "those animals, like other brutes, had their females in common;
  but in this they differed, that the she YAHOO would admit the
  males while she was pregnant; and that the hes would quarrel and
  fight with the females, as fiercely as with each other; both which
  practices were such degrees of infamous brutality, as no other
  sensitive creature ever arrived at.
  "Another thing he wondered at in the YAHOOS, was their strange
  disposition to nastiness and dirt; whereas there appears to be a
  natural love of cleanliness in all other animals." As to the two
  former accusations, I was glad to let them pass without any reply,.
  because I had not a word to offer upon them in defence of my
  species, which otherwise I certainly had done from my own
  inclinations. But I could have easily vindicated humankind from
  the imputation of singularity upon the last article, if there had
  been any swine in that country (as unluckily for me there were
  not), which, although it may be a sweeter quadruped than a
  YAHOO, cannot, I humbly conceive, in justice, pretend to more
  cleanliness; and so his honour himself must have owned, if he had
  seen their filthy way of feeding, and their custom of wallowing
  and sleeping in the mud.
  My master likewise mentioned another quality which his servants
  had discovered in several Yahoos, and to him was wholly
  unaccountable. He said, "a fancy would sometimes take a
  YAHOO to retire into a corner, to lie down, and howl, and groan,
  and spurn away all that came near him, although he were young
  and fat, wanted neither food nor water, nor did the servant
  imagine what could possibly ail him. And the only remedy they
  found was, to set him to hard work, after which he would
  infallibly come to himself." To this I was silent out of partiality to
  my own kind; yet here I could plainly discover the true seeds of
  spleen, which only seizes on the lazy, the luxurious, and the rich;
  who, if they were forced to undergo the same regimen, I would
  undertake for the cure.
  His honour had further observed, "that a female YAHOO would
  often stand behind a bank or a bush, to gaze on the young males
  passing by, and then appear, and hide, using many antic gestures
  and grimaces, at which time it was observed that she had a most.
  offensive smell; and when any of the males advanced, would
  slowly retire, looking often back, and with a counterfeit show of
  fear, run off into some convenient place, where she knew the male
  would follow her.
  "At other times, if a female stranger came among them, three or
  four of her own sex would get about her, and stare, and chatter,
  and grin, and smell her all over; and then turn off with gestures,
  that seemed to express contempt and disdain."
  Perhaps my master might refine a little in these speculations,
  which he had drawn from what he observed himself, or had been
  told him by others; however, I could not reflect without some
  amazement, and much sorrow, that the rudiments of lewdness,
  coquetry, censure, and scandal, should have place by instinct in
  womankind.
  I expected every moment that my master would accuse the
  YAHOOS of those unnatural appetites in both sexes, so common
  among us. But nature, it seems, has not been so expert a school-mistress;
  and these politer pleasures are entirely the productions
  of art and reason on our side of the globe..
  
  
CHAPTER VIII.
  
  [The author relates several particulars of the YAHOOS. The great
  virtues of the HOUYHNHNMS. The education and exercise of
  their youth. Their general assembly.]
  As I ought to have understood human nature much better than I
  supposed it possible for my master to do, so it was easy to apply
  the character he gave of the YAHOOS to myself and my
  countrymen; and I believed I could yet make further discoveries,
  from my own observation. I therefore often begged his honour to
  let me go among the herds of YAHOOS in the neighbourhood; to
  which he always very graciously consented, being perfectly
  convinced that the hatred I bore these brutes would never suffer
  me to be corrupted by them; and his honour ordered one of his
  servants, a strong sorrel nag, very honest and good-natured, to be
  my guard; without whose protection I durst not undertake such
  adventures. For I have already told the reader how much I was
  pestered by these odious animals, upon my first arrival; and I
  afterwards failed very narrowly, three or four times, of falling into
  their clutches, when I happened to stray at any distance without
  my hanger. And I have reason to believe they had some
  imagination that I was of their own species, which I often assisted
  myself by stripping up my sleeves, and showing my naked arms
  and breasts in their sight, when my protector was with me. At.
  which times they would approach as near as they durst, and
  imitate my actions after the manner of monkeys, but ever with
  great signs of hatred; as a tame jackdaw with cap and stockings is
  always persecuted by the wild ones, when he happens to be got
  among them.
  They are prodigiously nimble from their infancy. However, I once
  caught a young male of three years old, and endeavoured, by all
  marks of tenderness, to make it quiet; but the little imp fell a
  squalling, and scratching, and biting with such violence, that I was
  forced to let it go; and it was high time, for a whole troop of old
  ones came about us at the noise, but finding the cub was safe (for
  away it ran), and my sorrel nag being by, they durst not venture
  near us. I observed the young animal's flesh to smell very rank,
  and the stink was somewhat between a weasel and a fox, but much
  more disagreeable. I forgot another circumstance (and perhaps I
  might have the reader's pardon if it were wholly omitted), that
  while I held the odious vermin in my hands, it voided its filthy
  excrements of a yellow liquid substance all over my clothes; but
  by good fortune there was a small brook hard by, where I washed
  myself as clean as I could; although I durst not come into my
  master's presence until I were sufficiently aired.
  By what I could discover, the YAHOOS appear to be the most
  unteachable of all animals: their capacity never reaching higher
  than to draw or carry burdens. Yet I am of opinion, this defect
  arises chiefly from a perverse, restive disposition; for they are
  cunning, malicious, treacherous, and revengeful. They are strong
  and hardy, but of a cowardly spirit, and, by consequence, insolent,.
  abject, and cruel. It is observed, that the red haired of both sexes
  are more libidinous and mischievous than the rest, whom yet they
  much exceed in strength and activity.
  The HOUYHNHNMS keep the YAHOOS for present use in huts
  not far from the house; but the rest are sent abroad to certain
  fields, where they dig up roots, eat several kinds of herbs, and
  search about for carrion, or sometimes catch weasels and
  LUHIMUHS (a sort of wild rat), which they greedily devour.
  Nature has taught them to dig deep holes with their nails on the
  side of a rising ground, wherein they lie by themselves; only the
  kennels of the females are larger, sufficient to hold two or three
  cubs.
  They swim from their infancy like frogs, and are able to continue
  long under water, where they often take fish, which the females
  carry home to their young. And, upon this occasion, I hope the
  reader will pardon my relating an odd adventure.
  Being one day abroad with my protector the sorrel nag, and the
  weather exceeding hot, I entreated him to let me bathe in a river
  that was near. He consented, and I immediately stripped myself
  stark naked, and went down softly into the stream. It happened
  that a young female YAHOO, standing behind a bank, saw the
  whole proceeding, and inflamed by desire, as the nag and I
  conjectured, came running with all speed, and leaped into the
  water, within five yards of the place where I bathed. I was never in
  my life so terribly frightened. The nag was grazing at some
  distance, not suspecting any harm. She embraced me after a most.
  fulsome manner. I roared as loud as I could, and the nag came
  galloping towards me, whereupon she quitted her grasp, with the
  utmost reluctancy, and leaped upon the opposite bank, where she
  stood gazing and howling all the time I was putting on my clothes.
  This was a matter of diversion to my master and his family, as
  well as of mortification to myself. For now I could no longer deny
  that I was a real YAHOO in every limb and feature, since the
  females had a natural propensity to me, as one of their own
  species. Neither was the hair of this brute of a red colour (which
  might have been some excuse for an appetite a little irregular), but
  black as a sloe, and her countenance did not make an appearance
  altogether so hideous as the rest of her kind; for I think she could
  not be above eleven years old.
  Having lived three years in this country, the reader, I suppose, will
  expect that I should, like other travellers, give him some account
  of the manners and customs of its inhabitants, which it was indeed
  my principal study to learn.
  As these noble HOUYHNHNMS are endowed by nature with a
  general disposition to all virtues, and have no conceptions or ideas
  of what is evil in a rational creature, so their grand maxim is, to
  cultivate reason, and to be wholly governed by it. Neither is
  reason among them a point problematical, as with us, where men
  can argue with plausibility on both sides of the question, but
  strikes you with immediate conviction; as it must needs do, where
  it is not mingled, obscured, or discoloured, by passion and
  interest. I remember it was with extreme difficulty that I could.
  bring my master to understand the meaning of the word opinion,
  or how a point could be disputable; because reason taught us to
  affirm or deny only where we are certain; and beyond our
  knowledge we cannot do either. So that controversies, wranglings,
  disputes, and positiveness, in false or dubious propositions, are
  evils unknown among the HOUYHNHNMS. In the like manner,
  when I used to explain to him our several systems of natural
  philosophy, he would laugh, "that a creature pretending to reason,
  should value itself upon the knowledge of other people's
  conjectures, and in things where that knowledge, if it were certain,
  could be of no use." Wherein he agreed entirely with the
  sentiments of Socrates, as Plato delivers them; which I mention as
  the highest honour I can do that prince of philosophers -I have
  often since reflected, what destruction such doctrine would make
  in the libraries of Europe; and how many paths of fame would be
  then shut up in the learned world.
  Friendship and benevolence are the two principal virtues among
  the HOUYHNHNMS; and these not confined to particular
  objects, but universal to the whole race; for a stranger from the
  remotest part is equally treated with the nearest neighbour, and
  wherever he goes, looks upon himself as at home. They preserve
  decency and civility in the highest degrees, but are altogether
  ignorant of ceremony. They have no fondness for their colts or
  foals, but the care they take in educating them proceeds entirely
  from the dictates of reason. And I observed my master to show the
  same affection to his neighbour's issue, that he had for his own..
  They will have it that nature teaches them to love the whole
  species, and it is reason only that makes a distinction of persons,
  where there is a superior degree of virtue.
  When the matron HOUYHNHNMS have produced one of each
  sex, they no longer accompany with their consorts, except they
  lose one of their issue by some casualty, which very seldom
  happens; but in such a case they meet again; or when the like
  accident befalls a person whose wife is past bearing, some other
  couple bestow on him one of their own colts, and then go together
  again until the mother is pregnant. This caution is necessary, to
  prevent the country from being overburdened with numbers. But
  the race of inferior HOUYHNHNMS, bred up to be servants, is
  not so strictly limited upon this article: these are allowed to
  produce three of each sex, to be domestics in the noble families.
  In their marriages, they are exactly careful to choose such colours
  as will not make any disagreeable mixture in the breed. Strength
  is chiefly valued in the male, and comeliness in the female; not
  upon the account of love, but to preserve the race from
  degenerating; for where a female happens to excel in strength, a
  consort is chosen, with regard to comeliness.
  Courtship, love, presents, jointures, settlements have no place in
  their thoughts, or terms whereby to express them in their
  language. The young couple meet, and are joined, merely because
  it is the determination of their parents and friends; it is what they
  see done every day, and they look upon it as one of the necessary
  actions of a reasonable being. But the violation of marriage, or.
  any other unchastity, was never heard of; and the married pair
  pass their lives with the same friendship and mutual benevolence,
  that they bear to all others of the same species who come in their
  way, without jealousy, fondness, quarrelling, or discontent.
  In educating the youth of both sexes, their method is admirable,
  and highly deserves our imitation. These are not suffered to taste a
  grain of oats, except upon certain days, till eighteen years old; nor
  milk, but very rarely; and in summer they graze two hours in the
  morning, and as many in the evening, which their parents likewise
  observe; but the servants are not allowed above half that time, and
  a great part of their grass is brought home, which they eat at the
  most convenient hours, when they can be best spared from work.
  Temperance, industry, exercise, and cleanliness, are the lessons
  equally enjoined to the young ones of both sexes: and my master
  thought it monstrous in us, to give the females a different kind of
  education from the males, except in some articles of domestic
  management; whereby, as he truly observed, one half of our
  natives were good for nothing but bringing children into the
  world; and to trust the care of our children to such useless
  animals, he said, was yet a greater instance of brutality.
  But the HOUYHNHNMS train up their youth to strength, speed,
  and hardiness, by exercising them in running races up and down
  steep hills, and over hard stony grounds; and when they are all in a
  sweat, they are ordered to leap over head and ears into a pond or
  river. Four times a year the youth of a certain district meet to show
  their proficiency in running and leaping, and other feats of.
  strength and agility; where the victor is rewarded with a song in
  his or her praise. On this festival, the servants drive a herd of
  YAHOOS into the field, laden with hay, and oats, and milk, for a
  repast to the HOUYHNHNMS; after which, these brutes are
  immediately driven back again, for fear of being noisome to the
  assembly.
  Every fourth year, at the vernal equinox, there is a representative
  council of the whole nation, which meets in a plain about twenty
  miles from our house, and continues about five or six days. Here
  they inquire into the state and condition of the several districts;
  whether they abound or be deficient in hay or oats, or cows, or
  YAHOOS; and wherever there is any want (which is but seldom)
  it is immediately supplied by unanimous consent and
  contribution. Here likewise the regulation of children is settled: as
  for instance, if a HOUYHNHNM has two males, he changes one
  of them with another that has two females; and when a child has
  been lost by any casualty, where the mother is past breeding, it is
  determined what family in the district shall breed another to
  supply the loss..
  
  
CHAPTER IX.
  
  [A grand debate at the general assembly of the HOUYHNHNMS,
  and how it was determined. The learning of the
  HOUYHNHNMS. Their buildings. Their manner of burials. The
  defectiveness of their language.]
  One of these grand assemblies was held in my time, about three
  months before my departure, whither my master went as the
  representative of our district. In this council was resumed their old
  debate, and indeed the only debate that ever happened in their
  country; whereof my master, after his return, give me a very
  particular account.
  The question to be debated was, "whether the YAHOOS should be
  exterminated from the face of the earth?" One of the members for
  the affirmative offered several arguments of great strength and
  weight, alleging, "that as the YAHOOS were the most filthy,
  noisome, and deformed animals which nature ever produced, so
  they were the most restive and indocible, mischievous and
  malicious; they would privately suck the teats of the
  HOUYHNHNMS' cows, kill and devour their cats, trample down
  their oats and grass, if they were not continually watched, and
  commit a thousand other extravagancies." He took notice of a
  general tradition, "that YAHOOS had not been always in their.
  country; but that many ages ago, two of these brutes appeared
  together upon a mountain; whether produced by the heat of the
  sun upon corrupted mud and slime, or from the ooze and froth of
  the sea, was never known; that these YAHOOS engendered, and
  their brood, in a short time, grew so numerous as to overrun and
  infest the whole nation; that the HOUYHNHNMS, to get rid of
  this evil, made a general hunting, and at last enclosed the whole
  herd; and destroying the elder, every HOUYHNHNM kept two
  young ones in a kennel, and brought them to such a degree of
  tameness, as an animal, so savage by nature, can be capable of
  acquiring, using them for draught and carriage; that there seemed
  to be much truth in this tradition, and that those creatures could
  not be YINHNIAMSHY (or ABORIGINES of the land), because
  of the violent hatred the HOUYHNHNMS, as well as all other
  animals, bore them, which, although their evil disposition
  sufficiently deserved, could never have arrived at so high a degree
  if they had been ABORIGINES, or else they would have long
  since been rooted out; that the inhabitants, taking a fancy to use
  the service of the YAHOOS, had, very imprudently, neglected to
  cultivate the breed of asses, which are a comely animal, easily
  kept, more tame and orderly, without any offensive smell, strong
  enough for labour, although they yield to the other in agility of
  body, and if their braying be no agreeable sound, it is far
  preferable to the horrible howlings of the YAHOOS."
  Several others declared their sentiments to the same purpose,
  when my master proposed an expedient to the assembly, whereof
  he had indeed borrowed the hint from me. "He approved of the
  tradition mentioned by the honourable member who spoke before,.
  and affirmed, that the two YAHOOS said to be seen first among
  them, had been driven thither over the sea; that coming to land,
  and being forsaken by their companions, they retired to the
  mountains, and degenerating by degrees, became in process of
  time much more savage than those of their own species in the
  country whence these two originals came. The reason of this
  assertion was, that he had now in his possession a certain
  wonderful YAHOO (meaning myself) which most of them had
  heard of, and many of them had seen. He then related to them how
  he first found me; that my body was all covered with an artificial
  composure of the skins and hairs of other animals; that I spoke in
  a language of my own, and had thoroughly learned theirs; that I
  had related to him the accidents which brought me thither; that
  when he saw me without my covering, I was an exact YAHOO in
  every part, only of a whiter colour, less hairy, and with shorter
  claws. He added, how I had endeavoured to persuade him, that in
  my own and other countries, the YAHOOS acted as the
  governing, rational animal, and held the HOUYHNHNMS in
  servitude; that he observed in me all the qualities of a YAHOO,
  only a little more civilized by some tincture of reason, which,
  however, was in a degree as far inferior to the HOUYHNHNM
  race, as the YAHOOS of their country were to me; that, among
  other things, I mentioned a custom we had of castrating
  HOUYHNHNMS when they were young, in order to render them
  tame; that the operation was easy and safe; that it was no shame to
  learn wisdom from brutes, as industry is taught by the ant, and
  building by the swallow (for so I translate the word LYHANNH,
  although it be a much larger fowl); that this invention might be
  practised upon the younger YAHOOS here, which besides.
  rendering them tractable and fitter for use, would in an age put an
  end to the whole species, without destroying life; that in the mean
  time the HOUYHNHNMS should be exhorted to cultivate the
  breed of asses, which, as they are in all respects more valuable
  brutes, so they have this advantage, to be fit for service at five
  years old, which the others are not till twelve."
  This was all my master thought fit to tell me, at that time, of what
  passed in the grand council. But he was pleased to conceal one
  particular, which related personally to myself, whereof I soon felt
  the unhappy effect, as the reader will know in its proper place, and
  whence I date all the succeeding misfortunes of my life.
  The HOUYHNHNMS have no letters, and consequently their
  knowledge is all traditional. But there happening few events of
  any moment among a people so well united, naturally disposed to
  every virtue, wholly governed by reason, and cut off from all
  commerce with other nations, the historical part is easily
  preserved without burdening their memories. I have already
  observed that they are subject to no diseases, and therefore can
  have no need of physicians. However, they have excellent
  medicines, composed of herbs, to cure accidental bruises and cuts
  in the pastern or frog of the foot, by sharp stones, as well as other
  maims and hurts in the several parts of the body..
  They calculate the year by the revolution of the sun and moon, but
  use no subdivisions into weeks. They are well enough acquainted
  with the motions of those two luminaries, and understand the
  nature of eclipses; and this is the utmost progress of their
  astronomy.
  In poetry, they must be allowed to excel all other mortals; wherein
  the justness of their similes, and the minuteness as well as
  exactness of their descriptions, are indeed inimitable. Their verses
  abound very much in both of these, and usually contain either
  some exalted notions of friendship and benevolence or the praises
  of those who were victors in races and other bodily exercises.
  Their buildings, although very rude and simple, are not
  inconvenient, but well contrived to defend them from all injuries
  of and heat. They have a kind of tree, which at forty years old
  loosens in the root, and falls with the first storm: it grows very
  straight, and being pointed like stakes with a sharp stone (for the
  HOUYHNHNMS know not the use of iron), they stick them erect
  in the ground, about ten inches asunder, and then weave in oat
  straw, or sometimes wattles, between them. The roof is made after
  the same manner, and so are the doors.
  The HOUYHNHNMS use the hollow part, between the pastern
  and the hoof of their fore-foot, as we do our hands, and this with
  greater dexterity than I could at first imagine. I have seen a white
  mare of our family thread a needle (which I lent her on purpose)
  with that joint. They milk their cows, reap their oats, and do all the
  work which requires hands, in the same manner. They have a
  kind of hard flints, which, by grinding against other stones, they.
  form into instruments, that serve instead of wedges, axes, and
  hammers. With tools made of these flints, they likewise cut their
  hay, and reap their oats, which there grow naturally in several
  fields; the YAHOOS draw home the sheaves in carriages, and the
  servants tread them in certain covered huts to get out the grain,
  which is kept in stores. They make a rude kind of earthen and
  wooden vessels, and bake the former in the sun.
  If they can avoid casualties, they die only of old age, and are
  buried in the obscurest places that can be found, their friends and
  relations expressing neither joy nor grief at their departure; nor
  does the dying person discover the least regret that he is leaving
  the world, any more than if he were upon returning home from a
  visit to one of his neighbours. I remember my master having once
  made an appointment with a friend and his family to come to his
  house, upon some affair of importance: on the day fixed, the
  mistress and her two children came very late; she made two
  excuses, first for her husband, who, as she said, happened that
  very morning to SHNUWNH. The word is strongly expressive in
  their language, but not easily rendered into English; it signifies,
  "to retire to his first mother." Her excuse for not coming sooner,
  was, that her husband dying late in the morning, she was a good
  while consulting her servants about a convenient place where his
  body should be laid; and I observed, she behaved herself at our
  house as cheerfully as the rest. She died about three months after.
  They live generally to seventy, or seventy-five years, very seldom
  to fourscore. Some weeks before their death, they feel a gradual
  decay; but without pain. During this time they are much visited by.
  their friends, because they cannot go abroad with their usual ease
  and satisfaction. However, about ten days before their death,
  which they seldom fail in computing, they return the visits that
  have been made them by those who are nearest in the
  neighbourhood, being carried in a convenient sledge drawn by
  YAHOOS; which vehicle they use, not only upon this occasion,
  but when they grow old, upon long journeys, or when they are
  lamed by any accident: and therefore when the dying
  HOUYHNHNMS return those visits, they take a solemn leave of
  their friends, as if they were going to some remote part of the
  country, where they designed to pass the rest of their lives.
  I know not whether it may be worth observing, that the
  HOUYHNHNMS have no word in their language to express any
  thing that is evil, except what they borrow from the deformities or
  ill qualities of the YAHOOS. Thus they denote the folly of a
  servant, an omission of a child, a stone that cuts their feet, a
  continuance of foul or unseasonable weather, and the like, by
  adding to each the epithet of YAHOO. For instance, HHNM
  YAHOO; WHNAHOLM YAHOO, YNLHMNDWIHLMA
  YAHOO, and an ill-contrived house YNHOLMHNMROHLNW
   YAHOO.
  
  I could, with great pleasure, enlarge further upon the manners and
  virtues of this excellent people; but intending in a short time to
  publish a volume by itself, expressly upon that subject, I refer the
  reader thither; and, in the mean time, proceed to relate my own
  sad catastrophe...
  
  
CHAPTER X.
  
  [The author's economy, and happy life, among the Houyhnhnms.
  His great improvement in virtue by conversing with them. Their
  conversations. The author has notice given him by his master, that
  he must depart from the country. He falls into a swoon for grief;
  but submits. He contrives and finishes a canoe by the help of a
  fellow-servant, and puts to sea at a venture.]
  I had settled my little economy to my own heart's content. My
  master had ordered a room to be made for me, after their manner,
  about six yards from the house: the sides and floors of which I
  plastered with clay, and covered with rush-mats of my own
  contriving. I had beaten hemp, which there grows wild, and made
  of it a sort of ticking; this I filled with the feathers of several birds
  I had taken with springes made of YAHOOS' hairs, and were
  excellent food. I had worked two chairs with my knife, the sorrel
  nag helping me in the grosser and more laborious part.
  When my clothes were worn to rags, I made myself others with
  the skins of rabbits, and of a certain beautiful animal, about the
  same size, called NNUHNOH, the skin of which is covered with a
  fine down. Of these I also made very tolerable stockings. I soled
  my shoes with wood, which I cut from a tree, and fitted to the
  upper-leather; and when this was worn out, I supplied it with the.
  skins of YAHOOS dried in the sun. I often got honey out of
  hollow trees, which I mingled with water, or ate with my bread.
  No man could more verify the truth of these two maxims, "That
  nature is very easily satisfied;" and, "That necessity is the mother
  of invention." I enjoyed perfect health of body, and tranquillity of
  mind; I did not feel the treachery or inconstancy of a friend, nor
  the injuries of a secret or open enemy. I had no occasion of
  bribing, flattering, or pimping, to procure the favour of any great
  man, or of his minion; I wanted no fence against fraud or
  oppression: here was neither physician to destroy my body, nor
  lawyer to ruin my fortune; no informer to watch my words and
  actions, or forge accusations against me for hire: here were no
  gibers, censurers, backbiters, pickpockets, highwaymen,
  housebreakers, attorneys, bawds, buffoons, gamesters, politicians,
  wits, splenetics, tedious talkers, controvertists, ravishers,
  murderers, robbers, virtuosos; no leaders, or followers, of party
  and faction; no encouragers to vice, by seducement or examples;
  no dungeon, axes, gibbets, whipping-posts, or pillories; no
  cheating shopkeepers or mechanics; no pride, vanity, or
  affectation; no fops, bullies, drunkards, strolling whores, or poxes;
  no ranting, lewd, expensive wives; no stupid, proud pedants; no
  importunate, overbearing, quarrelsome, noisy, roaring, empty,
  conceited, swearing companions; no scoundrels raised from the
  dust upon the merit of their vices, or nobility thrown into it on
  account of their virtues; no lords, fiddlers, judges, or dancing-masters..
  I had the favour of being admitted to several HOUYHNHNMS,
  who came to visit or dine with my master; where his honour
  graciously suffered me to wait in the room, and listen to their
  discourse. Both he and his company would often descend to ask
  me questions, and receive my answers. I had also sometimes the
  honour of attending my master in his visits to others. I never
  presumed to speak, except in answer to a question; and then I did
  it with inward regret, because it was a loss of so much time for
  improving myself; but I was infinitely delighted with the station
  of an humble auditor in such conversations, where nothing passed
  but what was useful, expressed in the fewest and most significant
  words; where, as I have already said, the greatest decency was
  observed, without the least degree of ceremony; where no person
  spoke without being pleased himself, and pleasing his
  companions; where there was no interruption, tediousness, heat,
  or difference of sentiments. They have a notion, that when people
  are met together, a short silence does much improve conversation:
  this I found to be true; for during those little intermissions of talk,
  new ideas would arise in their minds, which very much enlivened
  the discourse. Their subjects are, generally on friendship and
  benevolence, on order and economy; sometimes upon the visible
  operations of nature, or ancient traditions; upon the bounds and
  limits of virtue; upon the unerring rules of reason, or upon some
  determinations to be taken at the next great assembly: and often
  upon the various excellences of poetry. I may add, without vanity,
  that my presence often gave them sufficient matter for discourse,
  because it afforded my master an occasion of letting his friends
  into the history of me and my country, upon which they were all
  pleased to descant, in a manner not very advantageous to.
  humankind: and for that reason I shall not repeat what they said;
  only I may be allowed to observe, that his honour, to my great
  admiration, appeared to understand the nature of YAHOOS much
  better than myself. He went through all our vices and follies, and
  discovered many, which I had never mentioned to him, by only
  supposing what qualities a YAHOO of their country, with a small
  proportion of reason, might be capable of exerting; and
  concluded, with too much probability, "how vile, as well as
  miserable, such a creature must be."
  I freely confess, that all the little knowledge I have of any value,
  was acquired by the lectures I received from my master, and from
  hearing the discourses of him and his friends; to which I should be
  prouder to listen, than to dictate to the greatest and wisest
  assembly in Europe. I admired the strength, comeliness, and speed
  of the inhabitants; and such a constellation of virtues, in such
  amiable persons, produced in me the highest veneration. At first,
  indeed, I did not feel that natural awe, which the YAHOOS and all
  other animals bear toward them; but it grew upon me by decrees,
  much sooner than I imagined, and was mingled with a respectful
  love and gratitude, that they would condescend to distinguish me
  from the rest of my species.
  When I thought of my family, my friends, my countrymen, or the
  human race in general, I considered them, as they really were,
  YAHOOS in shape and disposition, perhaps a little more civilized,
  and qualified with the gift of speech; but making no other use of
  reason, than to improve and multiply those vices whereof their
  brethren in this country had only the share that nature allotted.
  them. When I happened to behold the reflection of my own form
  in a lake or fountain, I turned away my face in horror and
  detestation of myself, and could better endure the sight of a
  common YAHOO than of my own person. By conversing with the
  HOUYHNHNMS, and looking upon them with delight, I fell to
  imitate their gait and gesture, which is now grown into a habit;
  and my friends often tell me, in a blunt way, "that I trot like a
  horse;" which, however, I take for a great compliment. Neither
  shall I disown, that in speaking I am apt to fall into the voice and
  manner of the HOUYHNHNMS, and hear myself ridiculed on
  that account, without the least mortification.
  In the midst of all this happiness, and when I looked upon myself
  to be fully settled for life, my master sent for me one morning a
  little earlier than his usual hour. I observed by his countenance
  that he was in some perplexity, and at a loss how to begin what he
  had to speak. After a short silence, he told me, "he did not know
  how I would take what he was going to say: that in the last general
  assembly, when the affair of the YAHOOS was entered upon, the
  representatives had taken offence at his keeping a YAHOO
  (meaning myself) in his family, more like a HOUYHNHNM than
  a brute animal; that he was known frequently to converse with me,
  as if he could receive some advantage or pleasure in my company;
  that such a practice was not agreeable to reason or nature, or a
  thing ever heard of before among them; the assembly did
  therefore exhort him either to employ me like the rest of my
  species, or command me to swim back to the place whence I
  came: that the first of these expedients was utterly rejected by all
  the HOUYHNHNMS who had ever seen me at his house or their.
  own; for they alleged, that because I had some rudiments of
  reason, added to the natural pravity of those animals, it was to be
  feared I might be able to seduce them into the woody and
  mountainous parts of the country, and bring them in troops by
  night to destroy the HOUYHNHNMS' cattle, as being naturally of
  the ravenous kind, and averse from labour."
  My master added, "that he was daily pressed by the
  HOUYHNHNMS of the neighbourhood to have the assembly's
  exhortation executed, which he could not put off much longer. He
  doubted it would be impossible for me to swim to another
  country; and therefore wished I would contrive some sort of
  vehicle, resembling those I had described to him, that might carry
  me on the sea; in which work I should have the assistance of his
  own servants, as well as those of his neighbours." He concluded,
  "that for his own part, he could have been content to keep me in
  his service as long as I lived; because he found I had cured myself
  of some bad habits and dispositions, by endeavouring, as far as
  my inferior nature was capable, to imitate the HOUYHNHNMS."
  I should here observe to the reader, that a decree of the general
  assembly in this country is expressed by the word HNHLOAYN,
  which signifies an exhortation, as near as I can render it; for they
  have no conception how a rational creature can be compelled, but
  only advised, or exhorted; because no person can disobey reason,
  without giving up his claim to be a rational creature..
  I was struck with the utmost grief and despair at my master's
  discourse; and being unable to support the agonies I was under, I
  fell into a swoon at his feet. When I came to myself, he told me
  "that he concluded I had been dead;" for these people are subject
  to no such imbecilities of nature. I answered in a faint voice, "that
  death would have been too great a happiness; that although I
  could not blame the assembly's exhortation, or the urgency of his
  friends; yet, in my weak and corrupt judgment, I thought it might
  consist with reason to have been less rigorous; that I could not
  swim a league, and probably the nearest land to theirs might be
  distant above a hundred: that many materials, necessary for
  making a small vessel to carry me off, were wholly wanting in this
  country; which, however, I would attempt, in obedience and
  gratitude to his honour, although I concluded the thing to be
  impossible, and therefore looked on myself as already devoted to
  destruction; that the certain prospect of an unnatural death was the
  least of my evils; for, supposing I should escape with life by some
  strange adventure, how could I think with temper of passing my
  days among YAHOOS, and relapsing into my old corruptions, for
  want of examples to lead and keep me within the paths of virtue?
  that I knew too well upon what solid reasons all the
  determinations of the wise HOUYHNHNMS were founded, not to
  be shaken by arguments of mine, a miserable YAHOO; and
  therefore, after presenting him with my humble thanks for the
  offer of his servants' assistance in making a vessel, and desiring a
  reasonable time for so difficult a work, I told him I would
  endeavour to preserve a wretched being; and if ever I returned to
  England, was not without hopes of being useful to my own.
  species, by celebrating the praises of the renowned
  HOUYHNHNMS, and proposing their virtues to the imitation of
  mankind."
  My master, in a few words, made me a very gracious reply;
  allowed me the space of two months to finish my boat; and
  ordered the sorrel nag, my fellow-servant (for so, at this distance,
  I may presume to call him), to follow my instruction; because I
  told my master, "that his help would be sufficient, and I knew he
  had a tenderness for me."
  In his company, my first business was to go to that part of the
  coast where my rebellious crew had ordered me to be set on shore.
  I got upon a height, and looking on every side into the sea; fancied
  I saw a small island toward the north-east. I took out my pocket
  glass, and could then clearly distinguish it above five leagues off,
  as I computed; but it appeared to the sorrel nag to be only a blue
  cloud: for as he had no conception of any country beside his own,
  so he could not be as expert in distinguishing remote objects at
  sea, as we who so much converse in that element.
  After I had discovered this island, I considered no further; but
  resolved it should if possible, be the first place of my banishment,
  leaving the consequence to fortune.
  I returned home, and consulting with the sorrel nag, we went into
  a copse at some distance, where I with my knife, and he with a
  sharp flint, fastened very artificially after their manner, to a
  wooden handle, cut down several oak wattles, about the thickness.
  of a walking-staff, and some larger pieces. But I shall not trouble
  the reader with a particular description of my own mechanics; let
  it suffice to say, that in six weeks time with the help of the sorrel
  nag, who performed the parts that required most labour, I finished
  a sort of Indian canoe, but much larger, covering it with the skins
  of YAHOOS, well stitched together with hempen threads of my
  own making. My sail was likewise composed of the skins of the
  same animal; but I made use of the youngest I could get, the older
  being too tough and thick; and I likewise provided myself with
  four paddles. I laid in a stock of boiled flesh, of rabbits and fowls,
  and took with me two vessels, one filled with milk and the other
  with water.
  I tried my canoe in a large pond, near my master's house, and then
  corrected in it what was amiss; stopping all the chinks with
  YAHOOS' tallow, till I found it staunch, and able to bear me and
  my freight; and, when it was as complete as I could possibly make
  it, I had it drawn on a carriage very gently by YAHOOS to the sea-side,
  under the conduct of the sorrel nag and another servant.
  When all was ready, and the day came for my departure, I took
  leave of my master and lady and the whole family, my eyes
  flowing with tears, and my heart quite sunk with grief. But his
  honour, out of curiosity, and, perhaps, (if I may speak without
  vanity,) partly out of kindness, was determined to see me in my
  canoe, and got several of his neighbouring friends to accompany
  him. I was forced to wait above an hour for the tide; and then
  observing the wind very fortunately bearing toward the island to
  which I intended to steer my course, I took a second leave of my.
  master: but as I was going to prostrate myself to kiss his hoof, he
  did me the honour to raise it gently to my mouth. I am not
  ignorant how much I have been censured for mentioning this last
  particular. Detractors are pleased to think it improbable, that so
  illustrious a person should descend to give so great a mark of
  distinction to a creature so inferior as I. Neither have I forgotten
  how apt some travellers are to boast of extraordinary favours they
  have received. But, if these censurers were better acquainted with
  the noble and courteous disposition of the HOUYHNHNMS, they
  would soon change their opinion.
  I paid my respects to the rest of the HOUYHNHNMS in his
  honour's company; then getting into my canoe, I pushed off from
  shore..
  
  
CHAPTER XI.
  
  [The author's dangerous voyage. He arrives at New Holland,
  hoping to settle there. Is wounded with an arrow by one of the
  natives. Is seized and carried by force into a Portuguese ship. The
  great civilities of the captain. The author arrives at England.]
  I began this desperate voyage on February 15, 1714-15, at nine
  o'clock in the morning. The wind was very favourable; however, I
  made use at first only of my paddles; but considering I should
  soon be weary, and that the wind might chop about, I ventured to
  set up my little sail; and thus, with the help of the tide, I went at
  the rate of a league and a half an hour, as near as I could guess.
  My master and his friends continued on the shore till I was almost
  out of sight; and I often heard the sorrel nag (who always loved
  me) crying out, "HNUY ILLA NYHA, MAJAH YAHOO;" "Take
  care of thyself, gentle YAHOO."
  My design was, if possible, to discover some small island
  uninhabited, yet sufficient, by my labour, to furnish me with the
  necessaries of life, which I would have thought a greater
  happiness, than to be first minister in the politest court of Europe;
  so horrible was the idea I conceived of returning to live in the
  society, and under the government of YAHOOS. For in such a
  solitude as I desired, I could at least enjoy my own thoughts, and.
  reflect with delight on the virtues of those inimitable
  HOUYHNHNMS, without an opportunity of degenerating into
  the vices and corruptions of my own species.
  The reader may remember what I related, when my crew
  conspired against me, and confined me to my cabin; how I
  continued there several weeks without knowing what course we
  took; and when I was put ashore in the long-boat, how the sailors
  told me, with oaths, whether true or false, "that they knew not in
  what part of the world we were." However, I did then believe us to
  be about 10 degrees southward of the Cape of Good Hope, or
  about 45 degrees southern latitude, as I gathered from some
  general words I overheard among them, being I supposed to the
  south-east in their intended voyage to Madagascar. And although
  this were little better than conjecture, yet I resolved to steer my
  course eastward, hoping to reach the south-west coast of New
  Holland, and perhaps some such island as I desired lying
  westward of it. The wind was full west, and by six in the evening
  I computed I had gone eastward at least eighteen leagues; when I
  spied a very small island about half a league off, which I soon
  reached. It was nothing but a rock, with one creek naturally
  arched by the force of tempests. Here I put in my canoe, and
  climbing a part of the rock, I could plainly discover land to the
  east, extending from south to north. I lay all night in my canoe;
  and repeating my voyage early in the morning, I arrived in seven
  hours to the south-east point of New Holland. This confirmed me
  in the opinion I have long entertained, that the maps and charts
  place this country at least three degrees more to the east than it.
  really is; which thought I communicated many years ago to my
  worthy friend, Mr. Herman Moll, and gave him my reasons for it,
  although he has rather chosen to follow other authors.
  I saw no inhabitants in the place where I landed, and being
  unarmed, I was afraid of venturing far into the country. I found
  some shellfish on the shore, and ate them raw, not daring to kindle
  a fire, for fear of being discovered by the natives. I continued
  three days feeding on oysters and limpets, to save my own
  provisions; and I fortunately found a brook of excellent water,
  which gave me great relief.
  On the fourth day, venturing out early a little too far, I saw twenty
  or thirty natives upon a height not above five hundred yards from
  me. They were stark naked, men, women, and children, round a
  fire, as I could discover by the smoke. One of them spied me, and
  gave notice to the rest; five of them advanced toward me, leaving
  the women and children at the fire. I made what haste I could to
  the shore, and, getting into my canoe, shoved off: the savages,
  observing me retreat, ran after me: and before I could get far
  enough into the sea, discharged an arrow which wounded me
  deeply on the inside of my left knee: I shall carry the mark to my
  grave. I apprehended the arrow might be poisoned, and paddling
  out of the reach of their darts (being a calm day), I made a shift to
  suck the wound, and dress it as well as I could.
  I was at a loss what to do, for I durst not return to the same
  landing-place, but stood to the north, and was forced to paddle, for
  the wind, though very gentle, was against me, blowing north-.
  west. As I was looking about for a secure landing-place, I saw a
  sail to the north-north-east, which appearing every minute more
  visible, I was in some doubt whether I should wait for them or not;
  but at last my detestation of the YAHOO race prevailed: and
  turning my canoe, I sailed and paddled together to the south, and
  got into the same creek whence I set out in the morning, choosing
  rather to trust myself among these barbarians, than live with
  European YAHOOS. I drew up my canoe as close as I could to the
  shore, and hid myself behind a stone by the little brook, which, as
  I have already said, was excellent water.
  The ship came within half a league of this creek, and sent her long
  boat with vessels to take in fresh water (for the place, it seems,
  was very well known); but I did not observe it, till the boat was
  almost on shore; and it was too late to seek another hiding-place.
  The seamen at their landing observed my canoe, and rummaging
  it all over, easily conjectured that the owner could not be far off.
  Four of them, well armed, searched every cranny and lurking-hole,
  till at last they found me flat on my face behind the stone.
  They gazed awhile in admiration at my strange uncouth dress; my
  coat made of skins, my wooden-soled shoes, and my furred
  stockings; whence, however, they concluded, I was not a native of
  the place, who all go naked. One of the seamen, in Portuguese, bid
  me rise, and asked who I was. I understood that language very
  well, and getting upon my feet, said, "I was a poor YAHOO
  banished from the HOUYHNHNMS, and desired they would
  please to let me depart." They admired to hear me answer them in
  their own tongue, and saw by my complexion I must be a
  European; but were at a loss to know what I meant by YAHOOS.
  and HOUYHNHNMS; and at the same time fell a-laughing at my
  strange tone in speaking, which resembled the neighing of a
  horse. I trembled all the while betwixt fear and hatred. I again
  desired leave to depart, and was gently moving to my canoe; but
  they laid hold of me, desiring to know, "what country I was of?
  whence I came?" with many other questions. I told them "I was
  born in England, whence I came about five years ago, and then
  their country and ours were at peace. I therefore hoped they would
  not treat me as an enemy, since I meant them no harm, but was a
  poor YAHOO seeking some desolate place where to pass the
  remainder of his unfortunate life."
  When they began to talk, I thought I never heard or saw any thing
  more unnatural; for it appeared to me as monstrous as if a dog or a
  cow should speak in England, or a YAHOO in
  HOUYHNHNMLAND. The honest Portuguese were equally
  amazed at my strange dress, and the odd manner of delivering my
  words, which, however, they understood very well. They spoke to
  me with great humanity, and said, "they were sure the captain
  would carry me GRATIS to Lisbon, whence I might return to my
  own country; that two of the seamen would go back to the ship,
  inform the captain of what they had seen, and receive his orders;
  in the mean time, unless I would give my solemn oath not to fly,
  they would secure me by force. I thought it best to comply with
  their proposal. They were very curious to know my story, but I
  gave them very little satisfaction, and they all conjectured that my
  misfortunes had impaired my reason. In two hours the boat, which
  went laden with vessels of water, returned, with the captain's
  command to fetch me on board. I fell on my knees to preserve my.
  liberty; but all was in vain; and the men, having tied me with
  cords, heaved me into the boat, whence I was taken into the ship,
  and thence into the captain's cabin.
  His name was Pedro de Mendez; he was a very courteous and
  generous person. He entreated me to give some account of myself,
  and desired to know what I would eat or drink; said, "I should be
  used as well as himself;" and spoke so many obliging things, that I
  wondered to find such civilities from a YAHOO. However, I
  remained silent and sullen; I was ready to faint at the very smell of
  him and his men. At last I desired something to eat out of my own
  canoe; but he ordered me a chicken, and some excellent wine, and
  then directed that I should be put to bed in a very clean cabin. I
  would not undress myself, but lay on the bed-clothes, and in half
  an hour stole out, when I thought the crew was at dinner, and
  getting to the side of the ship, was going to leap into the sea, and
  swim for my life, rather than continue among YAHOOS. But one
  of the seamen prevented me, and having informed the captain, I
  was chained to my cabin.
  After dinner, Don Pedro came to me, and desired to know my
  reason for so desperate an attempt; assured me, "he only meant to
  do me all the service he was able;" and spoke so very movingly,
  that at last I descended to treat him like an animal which had some
  little portion of reason. I gave him a very short relation of my
  voyage; of the conspiracy against me by my own men; of the
  country where they set me on shore, and of my five years
  residence there. All which he looked upon as if it were a dream or
  a vision; whereat I took great offence; for I had quite forgot the.
  faculty of lying, so peculiar to YAHOOS, in all countries where
  they preside, and, consequently, their disposition of suspecting
  truth in others of their own species. I asked him, "whether it were
  the custom in his country to say the thing which was not?" I
  assured him, "I had almost forgot what he meant by falsehood,
  and if I had lived a thousand years in HOUYHNHNMLAND, I
  should never have heard a lie from the meanest servant; that I was
  altogether indifferent whether he believed me or not; but,
  however, in return for his favours, I would give so much
  allowance to the corruption of his nature, as to answer any
  objection he would please to make, and then he might easily
  discover the truth."
  The captain, a wise man, after many endeavours to catch me
  tripping in some part of my story, at last began to have a better
  opinion of my veracity. But he added, "that since I professed so
  inviolable an attachment to truth, I must give him my word and
  honour to bear him company in this voyage, without attempting
  any thing against my life; or else he would continue me a prisoner
  till we arrived at Lisbon." I gave him the promise he required; but
  at the same time protested, "that I would suffer the greatest
  hardships, rather than return to live among YAHOOS."
  Our voyage passed without any considerable accident. In
  gratitude to the captain, I sometimes sat with him, at his earnest
  request, and strove to conceal my antipathy against human kind,
  although it often broke out; which he suffered to pass without
  observation. But the greatest part of the day I confined myself to
  my cabin, to avoid seeing any of the crew. The captain had often.
  entreated me to strip myself of my savage dress, and offered to
  lend me the best suit of clothes he had. This I would not be
  prevailed on to accept, abhorring to cover myself with any thing
  that had been on the back of a YAHOO. I only desired he would
  lend me two clean shirts, which, having been washed since he
  wore them, I believed would not so much defile me. These I
  changed every second day, and washed them myself.
  We arrived at Lisbon, Nov. 5, 1715. At our landing, the captain
  forced me to cover myself with his cloak, to prevent the rabble
  from crowding about me. I was conveyed to his own house; and at
  my earnest request he led me up to the highest room backwards. I
  conjured him "to conceal from all persons what I had told him of
  the HOUYHNHNMS; because the least hint of such a story would
  not only draw numbers of people to see me, but probably put me
  in danger of being imprisoned, or burnt by the Inquisition." The
  captain persuaded me to accept a suit of clothes newly made; but I
  would not suffer the tailor to take my measure; however, Don
  Pedro being almost of my size, they fitted me well enough. He
  accoutred me with other necessaries, all new, which I aired for
  twenty-four hours before I would use them.
  The captain had no wife, nor above three servants, none of which
  were suffered to attend at meals; and his whole deportment was so
  obliging, added to very good human understanding, that I really
  began to tolerate his company. He gained so far upon me, that I
  ventured to look out of the back window. By degrees I was
  brought into another room, whence I peeped into the street, but
  drew my head back in a fright. In a week's time he seduced me.
  down to the door. I found my terror gradually lessened, but my
  hatred and contempt seemed to increase. I was at last bold enough
  to walk the street in his company, but kept my nose well stopped
  with rue, or sometimes with tobacco.
  In ten days, Don Pedro, to whom I had given some account of my
  domestic affairs, put it upon me, as a matter of honour and
  conscience, "that I ought to return to my native country, and live
  at home with my wife and children." He told me, "there was an
  English ship in the port just ready to sail, and he would furnish me
  with all things necessary." It would be tedious to repeat his
  arguments, and my contradictions. He said, "it was altogether
  impossible to find such a solitary island as I desired to live in; but
  I might command in my own house, and pass my time in a manner
  as recluse as I pleased."
  I complied at last, finding I could not do better. I left Lisbon the
  24th day of November, in an English merchantman, but who was
  the master I never inquired. Don Pedro accompanied me to the
  ship, and lent me twenty pounds. He took kind leave of me, and
  embraced me at parting, which I bore as well as I could. During
  this last voyage I had no commerce with the master or any of his
  men; but, pretending I was sick, kept close in my cabin. On the
  fifth of December, 1715, we cast anchor in the Downs, about nine
  in the morning, and at three in the afternoon I got safe to my house
  at Rotherhith. (7).
  My wife and family received me with great surprise and joy,
  because they concluded me certainly dead; but I must freely
  confess the sight of them filled me only with hatred, disgust, and
  contempt; and the more, by reflecting on the near alliance I had to
  them. For although, since my unfortunate exile from the
  HOUYHNHNM country, I had compelled myself to tolerate the
  sight of YAHOOS, and to converse with Don Pedro de Mendez,
  yet my memory and imagination were perpetually filled with the
  virtues and ideas of those exalted HOUYHNHNMS. And when I
  began to consider that, by copulating with one of the YAHOO
  species I had become a parent of more, it struck me with the
  utmost shame, confusion, and horror.
  As soon as I entered the house, my wife took me in her arms, and
  kissed me; at which, having not been used to the touch of that
  odious animal for so many years, I fell into a swoon for almost an
  hour. At the time I am writing, it is five years since my last return
  to England. During the first year, I could not endure my wife or
  children in my presence; the very smell of them was intolerable;
  much less could I suffer them to eat in the same room. To this
  hour they dare not presume to touch my bread, or drink out of the
  same cup, neither was I ever able to let one of them take me by the
  hand. The first money I laid out was to buy two young stone-horses,
  which I keep in a good stable; and next to them, the groom
  is my greatest favourite, for I feel my spirits revived by the smell
  he contracts in the stable. My horses understand me tolerably
  well; I converse with them at least four hours every day. They are
  strangers to bridle or saddle; they live in great amity with me and
  friendship to each other...
  
  
CHAPTER XII.
  
  [The author's veracity. His design in publishing this work. His
  censure of those travellers who swerve from the truth. The author
  clears himself from any sinister ends in writing. An objection
  answered. The method of planting colonies. His native country
  commended. The right of the crown to those countries described
  by the author is justified. The difficulty of conquering them. The
  author takes his last leave of the reader; proposes his manner of
  living for the future; gives good advice, and concludes.]
  Thus, gentle reader, I have given thee a faithful history of my
  travels for sixteen years and above seven months: wherein I have
  not been so studious of ornament as of truth. I could, perhaps, like
  others, have astonished thee with strange improbable tales; but I
  rather chose to relate plain matter of fact, in the simplest manner
  and style; because my principal design was to inform, and not to
  amuse thee.
  It is easy for us who travel into remote countries, which are
  seldom visited by Englishmen or other Europeans, to form
  descriptions of wonderful animals both at sea and land. Whereas a
  traveller's chief aim should be to make men wiser and better, and
  to improve their minds by the bad, as well as good, example of
  what they deliver concerning foreign places..
  I could heartily wish a law was enacted, that every traveller,
  before he were permitted to publish his voyages, should be
  obliged to make oath before the Lord High Chancellor, that all he
  intended to print was absolutely true to the best of his knowledge;
  for then the world would no longer be deceived, as it usually is,
  while some writers, to make their works pass the better upon the
  public, impose the grossest falsities on the unwary reader. I have
  perused several books of travels with great delight in my younger
  days; but having since gone over most parts of the globe, and been
  able to contradict many fabulous accounts from my own
  observation, it has given me a great disgust against this part of
  reading, and some indignation to see the credulity of mankind so
  impudently abused. Therefore, since my acquaintance were
  pleased to think my poor endeavours might not be unacceptable to
  my country, I imposed on myself, as a maxim never to be swerved
  from, that I would strictly adhere to truth; neither indeed can I be
  ever under the least temptation to vary from it, while I retain in
  my mind the lectures and example of my noble master and the
  other illustrious HOUYHNHNMS of whom I had so long the
  honour to be an humble hearer.
  -NEC SI MISERUM FORTUNA SINONEM FINXIT, VANUM
   ETIAM, MENDACEMQUE IMPROBA FINGET.
  
  I know very well, how little reputation is to be got by writings
  which require neither genius nor learning, nor indeed any other
  talent, except a good memory, or an exact journal. I know
  likewise, that writers of travels, like dictionary-makers, are sunk.
  into oblivion by the weight and bulk of those who come last, and
  therefore lie uppermost. And it is highly probable, that such
  travellers, who shall hereafter visit the countries described in this
  work of mine, may, by detecting my errors (if there be any), and
  adding many new discoveries of their own, justle me out of
  vogue, and stand in my place, making the world forget that ever I
  was an author. This indeed would be too great a mortification, if I
  wrote for fame: but as my sole intention was the public good, I
  cannot be altogether disappointed. For who can read of the virtues
  I have mentioned in the glorious HOUYHNHNMS, without being
  ashamed of his own vices, when he considers himself as the
  reasoning, governing animal of his country? I shall say nothing of
  those remote nations where YAHOOS preside; among which the
  least corrupted are the BROBDINGNAGIANS; whose wise
  maxims in morality and government it would be our happiness to
  observe. But I forbear descanting further, and rather leave the
  judicious reader to his own remarks and application.
  I am not a little pleased that this work of mine can possibly meet
  with no censurers: for what objections can be made against a
  writer, who relates only plain facts, that happened in such distant
  countries, where we have not the least interest, with respect either
  to trade or negotiations? I have carefully avoided every fault with
  which common writers of travels are often too justly charged.
  Besides, I meddle not the least with any party, but write without
  passion, prejudice, or ill-will against any man, or number of men,
  whatsoever. I write for the noblest end, to inform and instruct
  mankind; over whom I may, without breach of modesty, pretend
  to some superiority, from the advantages I received by conversing.
  so long among the most accomplished HOUYHNHNMS. I write
  without any view to profit or praise. I never suffer a word to pass
  that may look like reflection, or possibly give the least offence,
  even to those who are most ready to take it. So that I hope I may
  with justice pronounce myself an author perfectly blameless;
  against whom the tribes of Answerers, Considerers, Observers,
  Reflectors, Detectors, Remarkers, will never be able to find matter
  for exercising their talents.
  I confess, it was whispered to me, "that I was bound in duty, as a
  subject of England, to have given in a memorial to a secretary of
  state at my first coming over; because, whatever lands are
  discovered by a subject belong to the crown." But I doubt whether
  our conquests in the countries I treat of would be as easy as those
  of Ferdinando Cortez over the naked Americans. The
  LILLIPUTIANS, I think, are hardly worth the charge of a fleet
  and army to reduce them; and I question whether it might be
  prudent or safe to attempt the BROBDINGNAGIANS; or whether
  an English army would be much at their ease with the Flying
  Island over their heads. The HOUYHNHNMS indeed appear not
  to be so well prepared for war, a science to which they are perfect
  strangers, and especially against missive weapons. However,
  supposing myself to be a minister of state, I could never give my
  advice for invading them. Their prudence, unanimity,
  unacquaintedness with fear, and their love of their country, would
  amply supply all defects in the military art. Imagine twenty
  thousand of them breaking into the midst of an European army,
  confounding the ranks, overturning the carriages, battering the
  warriors' faces into mummy by terrible yerks from their hinder.
  hoofs; for they would well deserve the character given to
  Augustus, RECALCITRAT UNDIQUE TUTUS. But, instead of
  proposals for conquering that magnanimous nation, I rather wish
  they were in a capacity, or disposition, to send a sufficient number
  of their inhabitants for civilizing Europe, by teaching us the first
  principles of honour, justice, truth, temperance, public spirit,
  fortitude, chastity, friendship, benevolence, and fidelity. The
  names of all which virtues are still retained among us in most
  languages, and are to be met with in modern, as well as ancient
  authors; which I am able to assert from my own small reading.
  But I had another reason, which made me less forward to enlarge
  his majesty's dominions by my discoveries. To say the truth, I had
  conceived a few scruples with relation to the distributive justice of
  princes upon those occasions. For instance, a crew of pirates are
  driven by a storm they know not whither; at length a boy
  discovers land from the topmast; they go on shore to rob and
  plunder, they see a harmless people, are entertained with
  kindness; they give the country a new name; they take formal
  possession of it for their king; they set up a rotten plank, or a
  stone, for a memorial; they murder two or three dozen of the
  natives, bring away a couple more, by force, for a sample; return
  home, and get their pardon. Here commences a new dominion
  acquired with a title by divine right. Ships are sent with the first
  opportunity; the natives driven out or destroyed; their princes
  tortured to discover their gold; a free license given to all acts of
  inhumanity and lust, the earth reeking with the blood of its.
  inhabitants: and this execrable crew of butchers, employed in so
  pious an expedition, is a modern colony, sent to convert and
  civilize an idolatrous and barbarous people!
  But this description, I confess, does by no means affect the British
  nation, who may be an example to the whole world for their
  wisdom, care, and justice in planting colonies; their liberal
  endowments for the advancement of religion and learning; their
  choice of devout and able pastors to propagate Christianity; their
  caution in stocking their provinces with people of sober lives and
  conversations from this the mother kingdom; their strict regard to
  the distribution of justice, in supplying the civil administration
  through all their colonies with officers of the greatest abilities,
  utter strangers to corruption; and, to crown all, by sending the
  most vigilant and virtuous governors, who have no other views
  than the happiness of the people over whom they preside, and the
  honour of the king their master.
  But as those countries which I have described do not appear to
  have any desire of being conquered and enslaved, murdered or
  driven out by colonies, nor abound either in gold, silver, sugar, or
  tobacco, I did humbly conceive, they were by no means proper
  objects of our zeal, our valour, or our interest. However, if those
  whom it more concerns think fit to be of another opinion, I am
  ready to depose, when I shall be lawfully called, that no European
  did ever visit those countries before me. I mean, if the inhabitants
  ought to be believed, unless a dispute may arise concerning the
  two YAHOOS, said to have been seen many years ago upon a
  mountain in HOUYHNHNMLAND..
  But, as to the formality of taking possession in my sovereign's
  name, it never came once into my thoughts; and if it had, yet, as
  my affairs then stood, I should perhaps, in point of prudence and
  self-preservation, have put it off to a better opportunity.
  Having thus answered the only objection that can ever be raised
  against me as a traveller, I here take a final leave of all my
  courteous readers, and return to enjoy my own speculations in my
  little garden at Redriff; to apply those excellent lessons of virtue
  which I learned among the HOUYHNHNMS; to instruct the
  YAHOOS of my own family, is far as I shall find them docible
  animals; to behold my figure often in a glass, and thus, if possible,
  habituate myself by time to tolerate the sight of a human creature;
  to lament the brutality to HOUYHNHNMS in my own country,
  but always treat their persons with respect, for the sake of my
  noble master, his family, his friends, and the whole
  HOUYHNHNM race, whom these of ours have the honour to
  resemble in all their lineaments, however their intellectuals came
  to degenerate.
  I began last week to permit my wife to sit at dinner with me, at the
  farthest end of a long table; and to answer (but with the utmost
  brevity) the few questions I asked her. Yet, the smell of a YAHOO
  continuing very offensive, I always keep my nose well stopped
  with rue, lavender, or tobacco leaves. And, although it be hard for
  a man late in life to remove old habits, I am not altogether out of.
  hopes, in some time, to suffer a neighbour YAHOO in my
  company, without the apprehensions I am yet under of his teeth or
  his claws.
  My reconcilement to the YAHOO kind in general might not be so
  difficult, if they would be content with those vices and follies only
  which nature has entitled them to. I am not in the least provoked at
  the sight of a lawyer, a pickpocket, a colonel, a fool, a lord, a
  gamester, a politician, a whoremonger, a physician, an evidence, a
  suborner, an attorney, a traitor, or the like; this is all according to
  the due course of things: but when I behold a lump of deformity
  and diseases, both in body and mind, smitten with pride, it
  immediately breaks all the measures of my patience; neither shall
  I be ever able to comprehend how such an animal, and such a
  vice, could tally together. The wise and virtuous
  HOUYHNHNMS, who abound in all excellences that can adorn a
  rational creature, have no name for this vice in their language,
  which has no terms to express any thing that is evil, except those
  whereby they describe the detestable qualities of their YAHOOS,
  among which they were not able to distinguish this of pride, for
  want of thoroughly understanding human nature, as it shows itself
  in other countries where that animal presides. But I, who had
  more experience, could plainly observe some rudiments of it
  among the wild YAHOOS.
  But the HOUYHNHNMS, who live under the government of
  reason, are no more proud of the good qualities they possess, than
  I should be for not wanting a leg or an arm; which no man in his
  wits would boast of, although he must be miserable without them..
  I dwell the longer upon this subject from the desire I have to make
  the society of an English YAHOO by any means not
  insupportable; and therefore I here entreat those who have any
  tincture of this absurd vice, that they will not presume to come in
  my sight.
  
  
FOOTNOTES:
  
  (1) A stang is a pole or perch; sixteen feet and a half.
  
  (2) An act of parliament has been since passed by which some
  breaches of trust have been made capital.
  
  (3) Britannia. -SIR W. SCOTT.
  
  (4) London. -SIR W. SCOTT.
  
  (5) This is the revised text adopted by Dr. Hawksworth (1766).
  The above paragraph in the original editions (1726) takes another
  form, commencing:-"I told him that should I happen to live in a
  kingdom where lots were in vogue," &c. The names Tribnia and
  Langdon an not mentioned, and the "close stool" and its
  signification do not occur.
  
  (6) This paragraph is not in the original editions..
  
  (7) The original editions and Hawksworth's have Rotherhith here,
  though earlier in the work, Redriff is said to have been Gulliver's
  home in England.









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